第五章 同理理解：情感的三大类别
第五章
同情的理解：三种类型的情绪
驱力系统
除了防御威胁外，我们的祖先还需要获取生存和繁荣所需的事物，如食物、住所、舒适、伴侣和社会地位。这是驱力和资源获取系统（简称“驱力系统”）的任务，该系统与兴奋、欲望和雄心等感觉相关。通过多巴胺等化学物质的作用，这个系统使我们意识到追求目标和资源的机会，帮助我们集中和维持对这些目标的注意力，并在实现目标时带来愉悦的体验（Gilbert, 2009a; 2010）。与威胁系统一样，这个系统也非常活跃和激励人，可以强烈地聚焦我们的注意力于我们正在追求的目标——这在盲目追求目标可能对他人或自己有害时可能会变得棘手。我们还会对实现目标时间歇性的愉悦冲动产生强烈的渴望——这可能是视频游戏等事物如此令人上瘾的原因之一。然而，当与另外两个系统保持平衡时，驱力系统有助于我们在追求重要生活目标时保持活跃。
安全感系统
至少在西方文化中，我们的来访可能熟悉与前两个系统相关的情绪体验。威胁和驱力的体验非常具有激励性，这一点被广告商和政治团体广泛利用，以激活人们对产品和平台的兴趣。这些情绪很重要，但当系统失衡时，也会与问题相关联——这与佛教心理学中描述的苦难来源相吻合：执着（追求我想要的）和厌恶（远离我不想要的）。
与这些系统（激活我们）不同，安全感系统与感到安全、平静、宁静和满足的感觉相关。这些情绪在没有威胁需要防御且没有目标需要追求时帮助我们保持平衡。安全感的情绪体验是积极的，但与驱力系统的激活体验非常不同（Gilbert, 2009a; 2010）。
正如我们在第二章中讨论的治疗师角色一样，安全感系统通常与亲和、接受、友善和社交相关联。这些互动使我们感到安慰，帮助我们感到安全和平静。通过催产素和内啡肽等化学物质的作用，这些互动可以减少压力，影响疼痛阈值，影响免疫和消化功能，并减少杏仁核中的威胁激活（Gilbert, 2010; Depue & Morrone-Strupinsky, 2005）。与狭隘地聚焦于威胁或目标的思维不同，当我们感到安全时，我们可以体验到放松、反思的注意力，并倾向于探索、亲社会和利他的行为（Gilbert, 2009a, 2010）。通过与他人的温暖联系，安全感系统帮助平衡其他两个系统，使我们以开放、友善和反思的方式面对生活。
安全感系统与社会联系的关联给治疗师带来了挑战和机遇。不幸的是，许多来访可能有适应不良的依恋历史或人际创伤，这使他们在与他人建立联系时感到不安全。亲密关系因此与威胁而非安全相关联。这给我们带来了主要的挑战——当来访的经历教会他们害怕本应帮助他们感到安全的联系时，该怎么办（从进化的角度来看）。正如我们将看到的，安全感与社会联系的关联使治疗室成为进行这项工作的完美实验室。通过熟练的技巧，治疗可以用于帮助来访“启动安全感系统”，帮助他们面对生活和内心中的威胁来源。
组织我们的体验
如果你经常参与CFT的讨论，你经常会听到治疗师谈论不同的情绪和动机如何“组织心智”。在帮助来访理解三环模型时，引入这一概念是非常有用的。图4.2展示了我们所说的这一点。
（出自Kolts, The Compassionate Mind Approach to Managing Your Anger [2012]，经Little, Brown Book Group许可重印。）
这一观点认为，不同的情绪（如愤怒、兴奋、安全感）及其相关的动机（如攻击性、竞争性、连接性）与明显不同的注意力模式、感受情绪、思考和推理、心理意象、动机和行为相关。这个图表可以用来引导与来访的苏格拉底式对话，帮助他们了解这些情绪如何在他们身上表现，并将这种组织方式与情绪的进化起源联系起来。让我们来看一个案例：
治疗师：珍妮，现在我们介绍了三环模型，我想谈谈这些情绪如何在我们身上表现。在CFT中，我们谈到不同的情绪可以以不同的方式“组织心智”，如这张“蜘蛛图”所示（指着图表）——尽管这个名字有点傻，因为它只有六条腿。
珍妮：（点头）
治疗师：除了不同情绪带来的感受，我们还会有不同的注意力、思维方式和心理意象的变化。（依次指着图表上的“注意力”、“思考和推理”和“意象和幻想”圈）它们也会影响我们想做什么（指着“动机”）和实际做了什么（指着“行为”）。所以，当我们感受到某种情绪时，实际上有很多事情在发生——这也是为什么我们很容易感到被困在某种情绪中。明白吗？
珍妮：（点头）就像我们上次讨论的那样——不同的想法会引发不同的情绪，这些情绪又会带来更多想法。
治疗师：（微笑）完全正确！现在我们要探讨你的威胁系统和安全感系统如何以非常不同的方式组织你的思维。首先，让我们考虑一个你感到非常受威胁的时刻。你提到了几个这样的情况——比如害怕和朋友出去社交，或者担心在课堂上被点名发言。想专注于其中一个情况吗？
珍妮：我们聊聊和朋友出去吧。
治疗师：好的。你能简要描述一个让你感到威胁的情况吗？
珍妮：当然——前几天，我们楼层的一些女孩来找我，问我这周五晚上是否愿意和她们出去玩，比如吃饭、去酒吧之类的。
治疗师：很好。现在让我们沿着蜘蛛图走一圈。中间应该填什么情绪？
珍妮：肯定是恐惧或极度焦虑。
治疗师：（在圆圈中心写“恐惧/焦虑”）好的，我们从“感受情绪”圈开始。首先，考虑一下情绪在身体上的感受。
珍妮：当她们问我的时候，我的心跳加速，很难集中注意力。感觉整个世界都在向我逼近。我只是点点头说我会考虑。她们离开后，我稍微冷静了一些，但还是很紧张和害怕。即使现在，想起这件事也很困难。
治疗师：我们来谈谈你对这件事的想法。当你感到焦虑时，会有什么想法冒出来？
珍妮：一方面我想去，但另一方面我又真的不想去。我觉得这对正常人来说会很有趣，但我可能会搞砸。我会想到所有可能出错的事情。甚至会想她们其实并不希望我一起去，只是邀请我好看我出丑，或者找个笑柄。
治疗师：听起来这些想法可能伴随着一些非常强烈的心理意象。当你感到焦虑时，你会想象什么？
珍妮：我会想象自己做了一些愚蠢的事情——穿错了衣服，说错了话，诸如此类——她们会后悔带我去。她们会在背后议论我，嘲笑我，甚至决定不再理我，把我一个人留在酒吧。（显得焦虑）
治疗师：这听起来确实很可怕。在这种情况下，你想要或计划做什么？你通常会怎么做？
珍妮：我只是想停止担心，停止这种感觉。所以我通常会退出……告诉她们我记起来下周有大考之类的事情。
治疗师：所以这一切（手势指向蜘蛛图）都围绕着可能发生的糟糕情况，促使你逃离这种情况——这是你通常会做的吗？
珍妮：（停顿了一会儿，脸上带着悲伤的表情）是的。
治疗师：我们还可以注意到，即使是回忆这个威胁事件，现在也会以特定的方式组织你的体验——感到焦虑和紧张，专注于威胁。几乎像是这些体验结合在一起，创造了一个焦虑版本的你——完全专注于恐惧和焦虑。这样理解对吗？
珍妮：绝对对。我花了很多时间在这种状态下。
治疗师：所以“焦虑的珍妮”最近经常出现。
珍妮：确实是这样。
治疗师：让我们感谢焦虑的珍妮与我们分享她的看法，看看能否认识一下“安全的珍妮”。
珍妮：我想认识她。不过我不知道有没有一个安全的珍妮。
治疗师：好吧，我会帮助你找到她。
不同情绪下的自我组织
在帮助来访观察不同情绪如何以不同的方式组织他们的体验时，有时将这些称为“不同的自我版本”是有用的，指出我们的身体体验、注意力、推理、心理意象、动机和行为都会因所经历的情绪或动机而有所不同。当被这些不同的情绪所困扰时，我们可能会感觉自己像是不同的人。使用诸如“焦虑的珍妮”这样的术语可以帮助来访认识到，尽管这些体验非常强烈，但这只是自我的一种版本，我们可以发展其他适应性的自我方面（为同情心自我的概念铺路）。这种语言也有助于区分“焦虑的珍妮”和当前的体验自我——即观察和意识到情绪的自我（而不是被情绪所困），ACT治疗师称之为“自我作为背景”。
现在珍妮已经探讨了她的焦虑如何组织事物，让我们考虑治疗师如何继续介绍安全感系统。在进行这种过渡时，最好先进行一些舒缓节奏的呼吸练习，以减慢呼吸，激活副交感神经系统，帮助我们进入一种同情的状态。
治疗师：珍妮，我们现在探讨了威胁系统如何组织心智，接下来我们来看看当我们感到安全时，心智是如何以非常不同的方式组织的。我们想了解一下“安全的珍妮”是什么样的。你觉得怎么样？
珍妮：值得一试。
治疗师：让我们先做一两分钟的舒缓节奏呼吸。这样可以帮助我们在处理威胁情绪后平衡身心。让我们花几分钟时间放慢呼吸。
珍妮：（闭上眼睛；放慢呼吸。）
治疗师：放慢身体……放慢心灵。（等待一分钟。）
治疗师：睁开眼睛，回到房间。（等待片刻，直到珍妮的眼睛睁开并重新定向。）感觉怎么样？
珍妮：好些了。
治疗师：很好。学习到我们可以在焦虑等情绪的视角下，仔细观察它如何组织我们的思维，然后选择从中解脱出来，这是很重要的。舒缓节奏的呼吸在这方面真的很有帮助。不要担心有些焦虑仍然存在——你花了很长时间学会焦虑。“焦虑的珍妮”已经在健身房锻炼了很久。
珍妮：（微笑）确实如此！
治疗师：我会帮助你解决这个问题。现在让我们探讨一下安全感如何组织心智和身体。你有没有过完全感到安全和自在的时刻——比如和一个让你感到非常舒服的人在一起的时候？
珍妮：（思考了大约二十秒。）有的。高中时有一个朋友叫索菲。我们有很多共同点——她也很焦虑。（表情明亮；语速变得轻松。）我们一起做过很多事情。我们会花几个小时打电话聊天，或者坐在咖啡馆里聊天。有时我们会去海滩，或者随便找个地方消磨时间。真的很怀念那些时光。
治疗师：那听起来真好。你现在还见索菲吗？
珍妮：节假日有时候会见面。我们毕业了，她去了另一所大学，我也去了另一所。最开始几个月我们还经常联系，后来就越来越少说话了。生活很忙碌，你知道的。
治疗师：确实如此。现在，我想聚焦于你和索菲在一起时，感到完全安全和舒适的时刻。你能回忆起这样的时刻吗？
珍妮：能。有一次我们在最喜欢的咖啡馆买了摩卡，然后傍晚去了海滩。我们爬上了救生塔看日落。我们就坐在那里，裹着毯子，聊了好几个小时。太美好了。
治疗师：听起来确实很美好。当你回忆那个时刻，想象自己回到那里时，你感觉如何？
珍妮：非常放松，好像没有任何烦恼——只是享受咖啡、海上的日落和聊天。
治疗师：所以你的注意力非常开阔——享受咖啡、美丽的日落，也许还有大海的景色、声音和气味？
珍妮：是的，那里太美了。我喜欢大海。
治疗师：我也喜欢。你说你和索菲聊了很多。你们聊了些什么？
珍妮：我们聊了很多话题：想去哪所大学，想主修什么专业。想从事的职业。喜欢的男孩。电影和音乐。各种各样的事情。
治疗师：注意你在描述这些时的感觉。这是安全感系统如何组织心智的一个完美例子。我仿佛能看到你当时的样子，感到完全舒适。注意力开阔，注意到周围所有美好的感觉。思维开放灵活，能够畅想你们未来的生活，让思绪随风飘扬……
珍妮：那时候真是太好了。
治疗师：确实很好。注意当你感到安全时，心理意象——你心中的画面——是如何工作的。即使现在，回忆那段记忆也让人感到舒缓，不是吗？
珍妮：感觉很棒。我很怀念那些时光。
治疗师：我也会怀念。那时，你的心理意象和思维一样灵活和开放——想象未来的种种可能性，想象你想做的事情……
珍妮：是的。那时候未来似乎更有意思，虽然也有点害怕，但还是对上大学感到兴奋。
治疗师：（温和地）是的。（停顿片刻）但是，你认为在回忆那段时光时，你是否能够感受到一点“安全的珍妮”的样子？
珍妮：（深思熟虑地）是的。
治疗师：那么让我们回顾一下不同情绪如何组织心智。注意，当我们考虑威胁情境——朋友们邀请你出去时，你的注意力、思维、心理意象和动机都非常狭窄，集中在对尴尬或羞辱的恐惧上。
珍妮：（深思熟虑地点点头）嗯哼。
治疗师：然后，当我们回忆起和索菲的那段时光时，一切都变了。你记得自己感到安全、舒适和连接。
珍妮：（深思熟虑地微笑；轻轻点头）
治疗师：当你感到安全时，你的注意力变得非常开阔，关注周围的美好事物、你的未来以及你对生活的期望……你的思维和心理意象也变得灵活和开放，想象你想要的生活。你们聊了很多话题。你的动机不再被保护自己的感觉所束缚，你可以想象做各种事情……甚至对一些既令你兴奋又有点害怕的事情，比如上大学，也能感到兴奋。注意当你感到威胁时，你的思维是如何组织的，与感到安全时有何不同。注意“安全的珍妮”是什么样的？
珍妮：更加开放和自由。我希望我能更经常地感受到这种状态。
治疗师：那我们一起来努力吧？
珍妮：好的。
探索不同情绪如何组织心智
在上述场景中，治疗师引导珍妮探索不同情绪如何组织她的思维。这主要通过两种方式进行——一是探索她在回忆的情境中思维是如何组织的，二是探索因回忆这些记忆而在当下体验的情感反应。虽然我们主要关注前者（探索在威胁和安全感等不同情感状态下的注意力、思维、意象、动机等如何组织），但强调这些记忆如何塑造当前的情感有助于为未来的意象工作铺路，并帮助理解记忆对情感大脑的强大刺激作用。
治疗师提示珍妮回忆与威胁和安全感相关的记忆，并引导她探索这些情绪如何以不同的方式组织她的体验。在整个过程中穿插了许多反映感受和验证性的陈述，以加深情感体验并加强来访与治疗师之间的联系。当珍妮开始偏离主题（例如，当她对“那些时光”感到怀旧，对与索菲关系的丧失表示遗憾，或评论现在事情“只是可怕”时），治疗师以同情的态度验证她的体验，然后迅速将她带回探索的重点。治疗师还试图在治疗关系中创造安全感，通过传达温暖、自信和支持的陈述：“这是我在这里帮助你解决的问题。”“我们一起来努力吧？” 我们再次回到“焦虑的珍妮”，这次伴随“安全的珍妮”，反映了强大的情绪和动机可以将我们组织成不同的自我版本——这些版本是可以理解、重视并选择性地增强的。这为同情心自我工作奠定了基础，我们致力于发展和强化一种充满同情、善良、智慧和力量的视角。
关于悲伤
你可能注意到，在讨论三种情绪调节系统时，我们并没有真正讨论悲伤。悲伤是一种有趣的情绪，很难用三个系统来分类，因为它不那么容易归类。虽然悲伤可以被视为与威胁有关，因为它通常与失落或失望的经历相关联，但其生理和心理特征与其他威胁情绪（涉及高度唤醒、紧张和思维及注意力的狭窄化）非常不同。相反，悲伤通常涉及较低的唤醒水平，有时涉及更开放的思维和注意力——例如，回忆和反思生命的意义。悲伤还可以激发他人的照顾反应，或许具有唤起安全感的功能，并且通常涉及驱动力的减弱。
尽管需要进一步研究以探索悲伤如何组织我们，但与其试图简化问题，将其强行归入威胁圈，不如从激活模式和触发它的上下文因素（如失落）的角度来考虑悲伤。从这个角度来看，我们可以将正常的悲伤视为一种低至中等程度的感知威胁（失落但没有实际危险）、低驱动力和中等程度的安全感（我们感到足够安全，可以真正连接到失落的体验及其对我们意味着什么）的状态。这也可以帮助我们在治疗干预中指导那些经历与重度抑郁相关的深层悲伤的来访。在这种情况下，可能涉及更高的威胁激活（因为抑郁常常伴有显著的焦虑——例如，威胁到个人生活方式的失落），结合非常低的驱动力和低至中等的安全感。在这种情况下，我们希望帮助来访增加安全感以平衡威胁激活，同时也要激活驱动力系统——正如研究表明行为激活疗法对抑郁症有益。例如，增加积极社交体验的行为激活可能有助于实现这两个目的。
动机和社会心态
除了与三个圆圈相关的情绪外，CFT还强调我们可以通过进化动机被强有力地组织。我们可以将动机视为三个圆圈情绪的动机和行为延伸——例如，连接、追求目标、攻击、主张社会主导地位、自我防御、求偶和玩耍的动机。这些动机在人际互动中可以体现为保罗·吉尔伯特所称的社会心态（Gilbert, 2009a; 2010; 2014）。我们可以将社会心态视为围绕某些动机结构化社会互动的组织框架。探索不同社会心态如何以完全不同的方式组织来访的体验是非常有用的。例如，我们可以使用前面提到的蜘蛛图来比较和对比防御性、竞争性、照顾性和性爱的社会心态如何与非常不同的注意力、思维、心理意象、感受体验、动机和行为模式相关联。这种意识（以及考虑哪些社会心态是有帮助的）对于帮助来访理解和应对关系困难非常有用。
总结
在本章中，我们介绍了情绪的三圆模型。该模型在CFT中有多个用途。它有助于减少来访对自己情绪的羞耻感，因为他们对这些情绪的理解从“我有问题”转变为“我们都有这些感受，因为它们帮助我们的祖先生存下来”。通过这种视角，他们可以将许多不想要的情绪视为进化大脑在感知威胁时试图保护他们的努力。与其谴责这些努力，一种同情的方法寻求验证、安抚并找到更有效的方法来应对这些体验。
该模型还有助于为以同情的方式应对痛苦铺路。我们可以帮助来访认识到自我攻击会不断激活威胁系统，而同情则是让他们在应对困难情绪和生活挑战时，负责激活安全感系统的一种方式。最后，该模型可以作为一种快速发展的正念情绪意识的捷径。我们可以建议来访在挣扎时，回想三圆模型并考虑他们在每个圆圈中的位置——或许通过快速评估他们的威胁、驱动力和安全感在1到10的评分范围内。正如我的一位研究生（同时也是一名啦啦队教练）建议的，“当有疑问时，画个圈！” 如果来访这样做并观察到他们被困在威胁系统中，这可以提示他们放慢速度，进行一些舒缓节奏的呼吸，然后使用我将在书中后续部分介绍的同情策略来应对情绪和情境。
本章知识点阐述
进一步阐述的知识点
1. 驱力系统
- 功能：驱力系统帮助我们追求生存和繁荣所需的资源，如食物、住所、舒适、伴侣和社会地位。
- 情绪体验：与兴奋、欲望和雄心等感觉相关，通过多巴胺等化学物质的作用，使我们意识到追求目标的机会，并在实现目标时带来愉悦的体验。
- 激活与激励：这个系统非常活跃和激励人，可以强烈地聚焦我们的注意力于我们正在追求的目标。
- 潜在问题：盲目追求目标可能对他人或自己有害，且对实现目标时的间歇性愉悦冲动产生强烈的渴望，可能导致成瘾行为。
- 平衡作用：当与另外两个系统保持平衡时，驱力系统有助于我们在追求重要生活目标时保持活跃。
2. 安全感系统
- 功能：与感到安全、平静、宁静和满足的感觉相关，帮助我们在没有威胁需要防御且没有目标需要追求时保持平衡。
- 情绪体验：安全感的情绪体验是积极的，但与驱力系统的激活体验非常不同。
- 社会联系：通常与亲和、接受、友善和社交相关联，这些互动使我们感到安慰，帮助我们感到安全和平静。
- 生理效应：通过催产素和内啡肽等化学物质的作用，这些互动可以减少压力，影响疼痛阈值，影响免疫和消化功能，并减少杏仁核中的威胁激活。
- 心理效应：当我们感到安全时，我们可以体验到放松、反思的注意力，并倾向于探索、亲社会和利他的行为。
- 平衡作用：通过与他人的温暖联系，安全感系统帮助平衡其他两个系统，使我们以开放、友善和反思的方式面对生活。
3. 治疗的挑战与机遇
- 挑战：许多来访可能有适应不良的依恋历史或人际创伤，这使他们在与他人建立联系时感到不安全，亲密关系与威胁而非安全相关联。
- 机遇：安全感与社会联系的关联使治疗室成为进行这项工作的完美实验室。通过熟练的技巧，治疗可以用于帮助来访“启动安全感系统”，帮助他们面对生活和内心中的威胁来源。
总结
在CFT中，驱力系统帮助我们追求生存和繁荣所需的资源，而安全感系统则帮助我们在没有威胁需要防御且没有目标需要追求时保持平衡。驱力系统与兴奋、欲望和雄心等感觉相关，通过多巴胺等化学物质的作用，使我们意识到追求目标的机会，并在实现目标时带来愉悦的体验。然而，盲目追求目标可能导致对他人或自己有害的行为，且对实现目标时的间歇性愉悦冲动产生强烈的渴望，可能导致成瘾行为。安全感系统与感到安全、平静、宁静和满足的感觉相关，通常与亲和、接受、友善和社交相关联，这些互动使我们感到安慰，帮助我们感到安全和平静。通过催产素和内啡肽等化学物质的作用，这些互动可以减少压力，影响疼痛阈值，影响免疫和消化功能，并减少杏仁核中的威胁激活。当与他人的温暖联系时，安全感系统帮助平衡其他两个系统，使我们以开放、友善和反思的方式面对生活。治疗师在帮助来访启动安全感系统方面面临挑战和机遇，特别是在来访有适应不良的依恋历史或人际创伤时，治疗室成为进行这项工作的理想场所。
进一步阐述的知识点
1. 情绪如何组织心智
- 定义：不同的情绪和动机与不同的注意力模式、感受情绪、思考和推理、心理意象、动机和行为相关。这些情绪和动机以特定的方式组织我们的思维和行为。
- 应用：通过“蜘蛛图”可以直观地展示情绪如何组织心智的不同方面，帮助来访理解这些情绪在他们身上的具体表现。
- 案例分析：通过具体案例，如珍妮在社交场合感到威胁的情景，可以详细探讨每种情绪如何影响注意力、思维、心理意象、动机和行为。
2. 威胁系统的影响
- 身体反应：当珍妮感到威胁时，她的心跳加速，难以集中注意力，感到紧张和害怕。
- 思维模式：她会想到所有可能出错的事情，甚至怀疑别人的真实意图。
- 心理意象：她会想象自己做错事，被别人嘲笑和排斥。
- 行为反应：她通常会选择退出，找借口避免参与。
3. 安全感系统的重要性
- 对比：与威胁系统相比，安全感系统帮助我们感到安全、平静、宁静和满足。
- 心理效应：当我们感到安全时，可以体验到放松、反思的注意力，并倾向于探索、亲社会和利他的行为。
- 治疗目标：帮助来访识别和培养安全感系统，减少威胁系统的过度激活，提高整体的心理健康和生活质量。
总结
在CFT中，不同的情绪和动机以特定的方式组织我们的思维和行为。通过“蜘蛛图”可以直观地展示这些情绪如何影响我们的注意力、感受情绪、思考和推理、心理意象、动机和行为。在治疗过程中，通过具体的案例分析，如珍妮在社交场合感到威胁的情景，可以帮助来访深入理解这些情绪的具体表现。威胁系统会导致强烈的生理和心理反应，使个体倾向于逃避威胁，而安全感系统则帮助个体感到安全、平静和满足。通过识别和培养安全感系统，治疗师可以帮助来访减少威胁系统的过度激活，提高整体的心理健康和生活质量。
进一步阐述的知识点
1. 不同情绪下的自我组织
- 定义：不同的情绪和动机以特定的方式组织我们的身体体验、注意力、推理、心理意象、动机和行为。这些情绪和动机使我们感觉像是不同的自我版本。
- 术语：使用“焦虑的珍妮”等术语可以帮助来访认识到，尽管这些体验非常强烈，但这只是自我的一种版本，我们可以发展其他适应性的自我方面。
- 应用：通过具体的案例分析，如珍妮在社交场合感到威胁的情景，帮助来访理解不同情绪如何影响他们的体验。
2. 威胁系统的影响
- 身体反应：当珍妮感到威胁时，她的心跳加速，难以集中注意力，感到紧张和害怕。
- 思维模式：她会想到所有可能出错的事情，甚至怀疑别人的真实意图。
- 心理意象：她会想象自己做错事，被别人嘲笑和排斥。
- 行为反应：她通常会选择退出，找借口避免参与。
3. 安全感系统的重要性
- 对比：与威胁系统相比，安全感系统帮助我们感到安全、平静、宁静和满足。
- 心理效应：当我们感到安全时，可以体验到放松、反思的注意力，并倾向于探索、亲社会和利他的行为。
- 具体案例：通过回忆珍妮和索菲在一起时的安全感，可以看到安全感如何影响注意力、思维、心理意象、动机和行为。
4. 治疗目标
- 发展适应性自我：帮助来访识别和发展适应性的自我方面，如“安全的珍妮”，减少威胁系统的过度激活。
- 心理灵活性：通过舒缓节奏的呼吸练习，帮助来访从威胁情绪中解脱出来，进入一种同情的状态。
- 情感调节：通过具体的案例分析和回忆，帮助来访更好地理解和调节不同情绪下的体验。
总结
在CFT中，不同的情绪和动机以特定的方式组织我们的身体体验、注意力、推理、心理意象、动机和行为。通过使用“不同的自我版本”这一概念，可以帮助来访认识到，尽管某些情绪体验非常强烈，但这只是自我的一种版本，我们可以发展其他适应性的自我方面。威胁系统会导致强烈的生理和心理反应，使个体倾向于逃避威胁，而安全感系统则帮助个体感到安全、平静和满足。通过具体的案例分析和回忆，治疗师可以帮助来访更好地理解和调节不同情绪下的体验，从而提高整体的心理健康和生活质量。
CHAPTER 5 Compassionate Understanding: Three Types of Emotion
As we’ve discussed, in CFT, the groundwork for self-compassion is laid in helping clients under- stand their challenges in relation to the ways that our brains and minds work. In chapter 4, we explored how tricky dynamics between old brain, new brain, and body can serve to perpetuate emotional responses even when the external events that triggered them are long gone. In this chapter, we’ll introduce a model of emotions that will allow us to quickly increase clients’ under- standing of why and how their emotions work the way they do, and how this makes sense in the context of evolution.
Modern research in affective neuroscience has identified a number of basic emotion systems that have evolved in humans and other animals (e.g. Panksepp & Biven, 2012; LeDoux, 1998). CFT has drawn upon this research to articulate a model of emotions that helps clients understand their feelings and related experiences as the result of human evolution. In this way, instead of seeing emotions such as fear, anxiety, or anger as something that is wrong with me, clients can instead see them as part of what helped my ancestors survive. By considering emotions and motives in terms of their survival value to our ancestors, clients can begin to see that how these experiences operate within us makes perfect sense. This process—helping clients consider their emotions, motives, and challenges through the lens of evolution—is sometimes referred to as evolutionary functional analysis (Gilbert, 2014).
THE THREE-CIRCLES MODEL OF EMOTION In CFT, emotions are grouped into three emotion-regulation systems, related to their evolved functions, as shown in figure 4.1. First, we have emotions like fear, anger, and anxiety that function to help us identify and respond to threats (the threat-protection system, or “threat system” for short). Second, the drive-and-resource-acquisition system (“drive system”) emotions motivate us to pursue goals and resources, and reward us for attaining them. Finally, the safeness-soothing- contentment system (“safeness system”) emotions help us feel safe, peaceful, and calm when we’re neither defending against threats nor pursuing goals. Let’s briefly consider these systems individually.
Three Types of Emotion Regulation System Driven, excited, vitalContent, safe, connected Incentive/resource focusedNon-wanting/ Affiliation-focused Wanting, pursuing, achieving, consuming Safeness-kindness Activating Soothing Threat-focused Protection and safety-seeking Activating/inhibiting Anger, anxiety, disgust Figure 4.1: Three Types of Emotion-Regulation System. (From Gilbert, The Compassionate Mind [2009], reprinted with permission from Little, Brown Book Group.)
The Threat System The threat system involves emotions that orient us toward perceived threats, assisting us in identifying and responding to things that may harm us. This system includes many emotions that our clients may struggle with, including anger, fear, anxiety, and disgust. The threat system picks up on threats very rapidly, and activates powerful bursts of feelings that alert us, orient us toward perceived threats, and motivate us to action—fight, flight, or freezing/submission (Gilbert, 2010). Research has shown that we’re biased toward processing threat-related information, with nega- tive information capturing our attention and memory more powerfully than does positive informa- tion (Baumeister, Bratslavsky, Finkenaurer, & Vohs, 2001). Threat emotions organize us in powerful ways, narrowing our attention, thinking, mental imagery, and motivation onto the source of threat in “sticky” ways—we can struggle to disengage from these emotions, even when we want to. From an evolutionary perspective, it makes sense that these emotions would be equipped to push other, more positive experiences out of the way—our ancestors faced a harsh world filled with very real dangers. These ancestors were able to survive and pass their genes along to us partially because they possessed these threat emotions, resulting in our having brains designed to prioritize threat- processing through the action of structures such as the amygdala and hypothalamic–pituitary axis (LeDoux, 1998). These emotions were shaped by evolution to play out powerfully within us, and they operate on a “better safe than sorry” basis. Threat-based learning can occur very efficiently, with many of our clients experiencing significant distress stemming from a single threatening incident. As we discussed in the previous chapter, new-brain abilities of fantasy, meaning-making, and rumination allow us to keep this system running even in the absence of any genuine external threat. Through new-brain activity that allows humans to form mental connections that go well beyond our original learning experiences, fear stemming from a powerful initial experience can come to impact many areas of our clients’ lives. In this way, new advances in our understanding of learning, such as relational frame theory (Hayes, Barnes-Holmes, & Roche, 2001; Törneke, 2010), have har- rowing implications for how experiences of threat can be magnified and multiplied in our minds. (We’ll explore this more in chapter 6.) When it’s balanced with the two other systems, the threat system helps alert us to potential threats and obstacles we need to deal with, to keep our lives moving in desired directions. However, it’s easy for this system to take up more than its share of mental energy, so we need to help clients learn to find balance when they’ve spent lots of time living in states of threat.
The Drive System In addition to defending themselves from threat, our ancestors also needed to acquire the things needed to survive and prosper—things like food, shelter, comfort, mates, and social posi- tion. This is the job of the drive-and-resource-acquisition system (or “drive system,” for short), which is associated with feelings like excitement, lust, and ambition. Through the activity of chemicals like dopamine, this system alerts us to opportunities for pursuing goals and resources, helps focus and maintain our attention on pursuing them, and is associated with experiences of pleasure when goals are attained (Gilbert, 2009a; 2010). Like the threat system, this system can be very activating and motivating, and can powerfully focus our attention on what we are pursuing— which can be tricky when the blind pursuit of our goals can be harmful to others or ourselves. We can also develop powerful cravings for the intermittent rushes of pleasure that come when goals are attained—likely one reason things like videogames can be so addictive. However, when it’s bal- anced with the two other systems, the drive system helps keep us activated in the pursuit of impor- tant life goals.
The Safeness System In Western cultures at least, our clients will likely be familiar with emotional experiences associ- ated with the previous two systems. Experiences of threat and drive are powerfully motivating, a fact used liberally by advertisers and political groups to activate people around their products and platforms. These emotions are important, but they can also be linked with problems when the systems are out of balance—mapping nicely on to the sources of suffering described in Buddhist psychology: attachment (going after what I want) and aversion (moving away from what I don’t want). Unlike these systems (which activate us), the safeness system is associated with feelings of being safe, calm, peaceful, and content. These emotions help balance us out when there are no threats to defend against and no goals that must be pursued. Safeness emotions are experienced positively, but are very different from the activating experiences of the drive system (Gilbert, 2009a; 2010). As you may suspect after our discussion of the roles of the therapist in chapter 2, the safeness system is typically linked with experiences of affection, acceptance, kindness, and affiliation. Such interactions soothe us, and can help us feel safe and calm. Through the action of chemicals like oxytocin and the endorphins, these interactions can reduce stress, affect pain thresholds, impact immune and digestive functioning, and reduce threat activation in the amygdala (Gilbert, 2010; Depue & Morrone-Strupinsky, 2005). In contrast to a mind that is narrowly focused on threats or goals, when we feel safe, we can experience relaxed, reflective attention and we tend to be explor- atory, prosocial, and altruistic (Gilbert, 2009a, 2010). Fueled by warm connections with others, the safeness system helps balance out the other two systems, helping us approach life in an open, kind, and reflective fashion. The linkage of the safeness system to social connectedness presents therapists with both chal- lenges and opportunities. Unfortunately, many of our clients will present with maladaptive attach- ment histories or interpersonal trauma, from which they will have learned to feel unsafe in connection to others. Closeness then becomes associated not with safeness, but with threat. This presents us with a primary challenge—what to do when our clients’ experience has taught them to fear the very connections that should help them feel safe (evolutionarily speaking). As we’ll see, the linkage between safeness and social connection makes the therapy room a perfect laboratory to do exactly this work. Done skillfully, therapy can be utilized to help clients “get the safeness system online” and help them face sources of threat in their lives, and in their minds.
ORGANIZING OUR EXPERIENCE If you spend much time in CFT circles, you’ll quite commonly hear therapists talk about how dif- ferent emotions and motives “organize the mind.” It can be very useful to introduce this concept to clients while we’re helping them understand the three-circles model. The diagram in figure 4.2 illustrates what we mean by this. Attention Thinking and Reasoning Emotional Experience Fear Imagery and Fantasy Motivation Behavior Figure 4.2: How the Threat System Organizes the Mind. (From Kolts, The Compassionate Mind Approach to Managing Your Anger [2012], reprinted with permission from Little, Brown Book Group.) The idea is that different emotions (such as anger, excitement, safeness) and related motives (such as aggressive, competitive, connection) are associated with distinctly different patterns of attention, felt emotion, thinking and reasoning, mental imagery, motivation, and behavior. This diagram can be used to guide Socratic dialogue with our clients to help them learn about how these emotions play out in them and to relate that organization to the evolutionary origins of the emotion. Let’s consider a case example: Therapist: Jenny, now that we’ve introduced the three circles, I’d like to talk a bit about how these emotions play out in us. In CFT, we talk about how different emotions can “organize the mind” in different ways, as I’ve demonstrated in this “spider diagram” here (points at diagram)—although that’s kind of a silly name because it only has six legs. Jenny: (Nods.) Therapist: In addition to the feelings we get with different emotions, we also experience differences in how we pay attention, think about things, and imagine things in our minds when these emotions come up. (Points at “attention,” “thinking and reasoning,” and “imagery and fantasy” circles on diagram, sequentially.) They also affect what we want to do (points at “motivation”) and what we actually do (points at “behavior”). So with any emotion we feel, there’s actually quite a lot going on—which is why it can be so easy to feel trapped in a feeling. Does that make sense? Jenny: (Nods.) It’s kind of like what we talked about last time—that different thoughts can fuel different feelings, which bring up more thoughts. Therapist: (Smiles.) Exactly! Now we’re going to explore how your threat system and safeness system organize your mind in very different ways. First, let’s consider a time when you’ve felt very threatened. You’ve brought up a couple of situations like that—fears about going on a social outing with friends, and being afraid that you’d be called on in class. Want to focus on one of those situations? Jenny: How about going out with friends? Therapist: Sounds good. Could you briefly describe a situation that brings up feelings of threat in you? Jenny: Sure—one happened just the other day. Some girls from my floor stopped by to ask me to go out with them this Friday night, like to eat and go to the bars, that sort of thing. Therapist: Perfect. Now let’s work our way around the spider diagram. What emotion should we put in the middle, here? Jenny: Definitely fear or extreme anxiety. Therapist: (Writes “ fear/anxiety” in the center of the circle.) Okay, so let’s start with this “felt emotion” circle. To start, it can be helpful to consider how emotions feel in the body. Jenny: When they asked, my heart started pounding, and I had troubling concentrating. It’s like the world was closing in on me. I just sort of nodded and said I’d let them know. After they left, I calmed down a bit, but I was really tense and scared. Even now, it’s hard to think about it. Therapist: Let’s talk about that—what you think about it. What thoughts come up when you’re feeling anxious about going out? Jenny: Like I want to do it, but also that I really don’t want to do it. I think that it would be fun, for any normal person, but that I would screw it up. I think of all the millions of things that could go wrong. I even have thoughts that they don’t really want me along—that they’re just inviting me so they can watch me squirm, or to have someone to make fun of. Therapist: It sounds like those thoughts may have some pretty powerful images along with them. When you’re feeling anxious, what are you imagining? Jenny: That I’ll do something stupid—wear the wrong thing, say the wrong thing, whatever—and they’ll regret bringing me. That they’ll talk about me later, making fun of me, or even decide they don’t want me around and leave me at the bar. (Appears anxious.) Therapist: That sounds terrifying. When you’re in this space, what do you want or plan to do? What do you usually do? Jenny: I just want to stop worrying about it, to stop feeling this way. So I usually back out…tell them that I remembered that I have a big exam the next week or something. Therapist: So this whole thing (gestures toward spider diagram) is organized around how terrible this could turn out, motivating you to escape the situation—which is what you would normally do? Jenny: (Pauses a bit, with sad look on her face.) Yes. Therapist: We can also notice that even remembering this threatening event organizes things in specific ways right now—feeling anxious and tense, focused on the threat. It’s almost like these experiences combine to create an anxious version of you—completely focused on the fear and anxiety. Does that sound right? Jenny: It’s absolutely right. I spend a lot of time feeling like that. Therapist: So “Anxious Jenny” has been hanging around a lot lately. Jenny: She sure has. Therapist: Let’s thank Anxious Jenny for sharing her perspective with us, and see if we can get to know what “Safe Jenny” is like. Jenny: I’d like that. I don’t know if there is a Safe Jenny, though. Therapist: Well, I’m here to help you find her.
In helping clients observe how they are organized very differently by varying emotions, it can sometimes be useful to refer to these as “different versions of the self,” noting that our bodily expe- rience, attention, reasoning, imagery, motivation, and behaviors can all be very different depending on the emotion or motive that we’re experiencing. It can seem like we’re different people when we’re caught up in these different emotions. Using terms like “Anxious Jenny” can help clients recognize that as powerful as these experiences are, this is only one version of the self, and that we can develop other, adaptive aspects of the self (paving the way for the idea of the compassionate self). This language can also help set the stage for distinguishing “Anxious Jenny” from the current, experiencing self—the self that is observing and aware of the emotion (rather than caught up in it), which ACT therapists refer to as “self-as-context.”
Now that Jenny has explored how her anxiety organizes things, let’s consider how the therapist might continue to then introduce the safeness system. When making such transitions, it’s good to do a little soothing rhythm breathing, to slow down the breath, get the parasympathetic nervous system going, and help us shift into a compassionate state of mind.
Therapist: Jenny, now that we’ve explored how the threat system organizes the mind, I think it would be good to look at how the mind is organized very differently when we feel safe. We want to get to know what Safe Jenny feels like. How does that sound? Jenny: Sounds like it’s worth a try. Therapist: Let’s start by doing a minute or so of soothing rhythm breathing. Breathing in this way can help us balance things out after we’ve been working with threat emotions. Let’s take a few moments to slow down the breath. Jenny: (Closes her eyes; slows her breathing.) Therapist: Slowing down the body…slowing down the mind. (Waits one minute.) Therapist: Opening your eyes, returning to the room. (Waits a few moments until Jenny’s eyes are open and she’s orienting.) How was that? Jenny: Better. Therapist: Good. It’s good to learn that we can move into the perspective of an emotion like anxiety, and look closely at how it’s organizing our minds, and then we can choose to shift back out of it. Soothing rhythm breathing can really help with that. Don’t worry if some of that anxiety sticks around—you’ve spent a long time learning to be anxious. Anxious Jenny has been going to the gym for quite some time. Jenny: (Smiles.) She sure has! Therapist: I’m here to help with that. Now let’s explore how feelings of safeness organize the mind and body. Have you had times when you felt completely safe and at ease— maybe when spending time with someone you felt really comfortable with? Jenny: (Thinks for twenty seconds or so.) Yes. I did have one friend in high school. Her name was Sophie. We had so much in common—she was even anxious, too. (Brightens; speech takes on a comfortable pace.) We used to do all sorts of things together. We’d spend hours talking on the phone, or sitting at a coffee shop talking. We’d go down to the beach sometimes, or just hang out wherever was convenient. I really miss those times. Therapist: That sounds wonderful. Do you see Sophie anymore? Jenny: Sometimes on holidays. We graduated, and she went to one college, and I went to another. We kept in touch really well for the first few months, and then gradually talked to each other less and less. Life gets busy, you know? Therapist: It sure does. For now, I’d like to focus on a time you were with Sophie, and felt completely safe and comfortable. Can you recall a time like that? Jenny: Yeah. There was this one time we picked up mochas at our favorite coffee shop and went down to the beach in the evening. We climbed up the lifeguard tower to watch the sunset. We just sat there, wrapped in blankets, talking for hours. It was wonderful. Therapist: That does sound wonderful. As you remember that time, imagining being back there, how did you feel? Jenny: Really relaxed, like I didn’t have a care in the world—just enjoying the coffee and the sunset over the ocean, and talking. Therapist: So it sounds like your attention was wide open—enjoying the coffee, the beautiful sunset, maybe the sights, sounds, and smells of the sea? Jenny: Yes, it was so beautiful there. I love the ocean. Therapist: I do, too. You mentioned that you and Sophie spent a lot of time talking. What did you talk about? Jenny: We talked about all kinds of things: where we wanted to go to college, and what we wanted to major in. What sort of careers we wanted to have. Boys we liked. Movies and music. All kinds of things. Therapist: Notice how it feels as you describe this. This is a perfect example of how the safeness system organizes the mind. I can just imagine you there, feeling completely comfortable. Attention open to notice all the wonderful sensations that surrounded you. Thinking open and flexible, able to think about the sort of lives you two would like to have, able to let your thoughts go wherever they took you… Jenny: It was so nice. Therapist: It is nice. Notice how the imagery—the pictures in your mind—work when you’re feeling safe. Even now, bringing up that memory feels soothing, doesn’t it? Jenny: It feels great. I miss those times. Therapist: I’d miss them, too. Then, I imagine your mental imagery was flexible and open like your thoughts—imagining what your future would be like, what you’d like to do… Jenny: Yeah. The future seemed more interesting then, like I was excited about going to college, even though it was also a little scary. Therapist: So feeling safe there with Sophie, you were able to even be somewhat excited about something that you also found a bit scary. Jenny: Yeah. Now it’s mostly just scary. Therapist: (soothingly) Yeah. (Pauses for a few moments.) But would you say that in thinking about that time, you were able to connect with a little bit of what Safe Jenny was like? Jenny: (thoughtfully) I was. Therapist: So let’s review what we’ve learned about how different emotions organize the mind. Notice that when we considered the threatening situation—friends asking you to go out—your attention, thinking, mental imagery, and motivation were all very narrow and focused on the perceived threat. All of that was focused very narrowly on fears of being embarrassed or humiliated. Jenny: (Nods consideringly.) Mmm-hmm. Therapist: And then when we brought up that memory with Sophie, all that changed. You remembered feeling safe, comfortable, and connected. Jenny: (Smiles thoughtfully; nods gently.) Therapist: Feeling safe, your attention opened wide to the things you appreciated about your surroundings, to your future, the things you wanted for your life…Your thoughts and mental imagery were flexible and open as well, as you imagined the sort of life you’d like to have. You chatted about all sorts of things. Your motivation was no longer captured by feeling like you needed to protect yourself, and you could imagine doing all sorts of things…even feeling excited about doing something that was also a little scary, like going to college. Notice how different your mind was organized from when you felt threatened? Notice what Safe Jenny was like? Jenny: It was a lot more open and free. I wish I felt like that more often. Therapist: How about we work on that? Jenny: Sounds good.
In the vignettes above, the therapist guides Jenny through an exploration of how these differ- ent emotions organize her mind. This is done in two ways—exploring how her mind was organized within the situations she is recalling, and exploring the affective reactions she experiences in the present, due to bringing up these memories. While we’re primarily focused on highlighting the former (exploring how attention, thinking, imagery, motivation, and so forth are organized during different affective states of threat and safeness), highlighting the way these memories shape current emotions helps pave the way for future imagery work, and for understanding memory as a powerful stimulus to the emotional brain.
The therapist prompts Jenny to bring up memories associated with threat and safeness, and guides her in exploring different ways these emotions organize her experience. Reflections of feeling and validating statements are peppered throughout, to deepen the affective experience and reinforce the connection between client and therapist. When Jenny begins to shift offtrack (for example, when she becomes wistful about missing “those times,” expresses regret over the loss of relationship with Sophie, or comments that now things are “just scary”), the therapist compassion- ately validates her experience and then quickly brings her back to the focus of the exploration. The therapist also attempts to create safeness within the therapeutic relationship, making statements that communicate warmth, confidence, and support: “That’s what I’m here to help you work on.” “How about we work on that?” We revisit “Anxious Jenny,” this time accompanied by “Safe Jenny,” reflecting the idea that powerful emotions and motives can organize us as different versions of the self—versions that we can understand and value, and that we can selectively choose to strengthen. This sets the stage for compassionate-self work, as we work to develop and strengthen a perspec- tive that is compassionate, kind, wise, and strong.
WHAT ABOUT SADNESS? You may have noticed that in talking about the three emotion-regulation systems, we haven’t really discussed sadness. Sadness is an interesting emotion that is challenging to categorize using the three systems, because it doesn’t easily fit. While sadness can be seen as threat-related in that it often is linked with experiences of loss or disappointment, its physiological and psychological profile is very different from other threat emotions, which involve heightened arousal, tension, and a narrowing of thinking and attention. In contrast, sadness typically involves lower levels of arousal, and sometimes involves more open thinking and attention—for example, reminiscing and reflect- ing on life’s meaning. Sadness also can serve to elicit caregiving responses from others, perhaps serving a safeness-eliciting function, and it usually involves a deactivation of drive pursuits. While research is needed to further explore the ways that sadness organizes us, I think rather than trying to simplify things by forcing it into the threat circle, we’re perhaps best served by con- sidering sadness in terms of patterns of activation, and in relation to the contextual factors (such as loss) that trigger it. From this perspective, we can perhaps see normal sadness as a state involving low-to-moderate levels of perceived threat (loss but no active danger), low drive, and moderate safeness (we feel safe enough to really connect with the experience of loss and what it means to us). This can also help us in guiding treatment interventions for clients experiencing the deep experi- ences of sadness linked with major depression, which might involve much higher threat activation (as depression often involves significant anxiety—for example, with losses that threaten one’s entire way of life) combined with very low drive and low-to-moderate safeness. In such a case, we’d want to help clients increase feelings of safeness to balance out the threat activation, but also get the drive system moving as well—as attested to by research showing the beneficial effects of behavior activation therapy with depression. For example, behavior activation around increasing positive social experiences might help to serve both of these purposes.
SUMMARY In this chapter, we introduced the three-circles model of emotion. This model serves a number of purposes in CFT. It helps decrease shame in our clients’ relationship with their emotions, as their understanding of these emotions shifts from something that is wrong with me to the realization that we all have these feelings because they helped our ancestors survive. Through this lens, they can see many of their unwanted emotions as their evolved brains’ efforts to keep them safe when threats are perceived. Rather than condemn these efforts, a compassionate approach seeks to validate, soothe, and find more helpful ways of working with these experiences. The model also helps pave the way for compassion as a way to work with suffering. We can help clients recognize self-attacking as serving to continually reactivate the threat system, and compas- sion as a way to get the safeness system working for them as they take responsibility for working with difficult feelings and life challenges. Finally, this model can serve as a sort of shortcut for developing mindful awareness of emotions. We might suggest to clients that when they are strug- gling, they could bring to mind the three circles and consider where they are in each—perhaps by quickly rating their threat, drive, and safeness on a 1-to-10 scale. As one of my graduate students (who was also a cheerleading coach) suggested, “When in doubt, circle out!” If our clients do this and observe that they are stuck in the threat system, it can be a prompt to slow down with some soothing rhythm breathing and then work with the emotion and situation using the compassionate strategies I’ll be introducing later in the book.