结论
结论
无论你是希望学习将CFT作为一套完整的治疗方法来正式实践，还是仅仅想为现有的治疗方法添加一些新工具和视角，我都希望你能从中找到有用的东西。同情提供了一种强大的工具，帮助来访克服羞耻感，并以温暖、勇气、鼓励以及致力于构建更好生活的承诺来面对他们的挣扎。
我试图将CFT组织并呈现为一系列层次化的进程和实践：在治疗关系中体现的角色；基于进化、情感神经科学、依恋理论和行为科学的人类状况的同情理解；正念意识的培养；以及有目的的同情心和发展同情的力量。当CFT处于最佳状态时，这些不同的层面会相互加深、加强和巩固。虽然我们可以选择某些实践和技术单独使用，但我鼓励你考虑所有这些层面，并思考如何将它们编织进治疗过程中。
正如我们开始时所说的那样，让我们以提醒自己入场的代价结束：如果我们想要拥有人生，我们就必须面对痛苦和苦难。我们都会面临困难、失望、挑战和悲伤。可以理解的是，我们（以及我们的来访）都不愿意面对这些事情——我们通常更倾向于转身离开，避免那些让我们感到不舒服的事物。但这不起作用，因为在围绕最小化不适来安排生活的同时，我们也关闭了通往许多能够赋予生活深刻意义的事物的大门。我们可以围绕无尽的努力去保持舒适来构建我们的生活，或者我们可以让生活追求对我们来说非常重要的目标和关系，这些能够赋予我们意义、安全感、满足感和快乐。但我们不能两者兼得。
同情给予我们一种方式，以善意、智慧和勇气转向那些让我们害怕的事情，并与之共处。当我们不再试图避免不适时，我们可以转向苦难，深入地观察它，从而理解造成它的原因和条件——甚至可能学到足够的东西来帮助改善情况。
或许最重要的是，同情涉及勇气：让心灵破碎的勇气。但事实是：无论如何，我们的心灵都会破碎。生活中有时会发生坏事，我们都必须找到应对的方法。记住，拥有一个人生的代价就是如此。问题是：当这种情况发生时，我们将怎么做？我们会封闭自己，还是开放自己？
如果我们接受这种痛苦和偶尔的心碎只是拥有精彩人生所付出的一部分代价呢？如果考虑到那个善良、智慧、勇敢、富有同情心的自我版本会怎么做呢？如果我们让自己关心他人，与志同道合的人连接起来，支持彼此在个人生活和世界上进行积极变革的勇敢工作呢？让我们继续朝着对我们重要的事物前进，帮助我们的来访也这样做，并且坚持下去。这就是同情。
Conclusion Whether you picked up this book in the hope of learning to formally practice CFT as a cohesive therapy approach, or simply wanted to add some new tools and perspectives to your existing treat- ment approach, I hope you’ve found something of use. Compassion offers powerful tools for helping clients to overcome shame, and relate to their struggles with warmth, courage, encouragement, and the commitment to build better lives. I’ve attempted to organize and present CFT as a collection of layered processes and practices: the roles embodied in the therapeutic relationship; a compassionate understanding of the human condition based in an understanding of evolution, affective neuroscience, attachment, and behav- ioral science; the cultivation of a mindful awareness; and the purposeful development of compas- sion and compassionate strengths. When CFT is at its best, these various layers deepen, strengthen, and reinforce one another. While we can choose to select certain practices and techniques and use them in isolation, I’d encourage you to consider all of these layers, and how you might weave them into the therapy process. As we began, let’s end by reminding ourselves of the price of admission: if we’re going to have human lives, we’re going to face pain and suffering. We’ll all face difficulties, disappointments, chal- lenges, and grief. It’s understandable that we (and our clients) wouldn’t want to face these things— we’d often prefer to turn away and avoid the things that make us uncomfortable. But that doesn’t work, because in organizing our lives around minimizing discomfort, we shut ourselves off from many of the things that can make them deeply meaningful. We can build our lives around endless efforts to stay comfortable, or we can make them about pursuing goals and relationships that are deeply important to us and imbue us with meaning, safeness, fulfillment, and joy. But we can’t do both. Compassion gives us a way to turn toward the things that scare us—with kindness, wisdom, and courage—and to work with them. When we stop trying to avoid discomfort, we can turn toward suffering and look deeply into it, so we can come to understand the causes and conditions that create it—perhaps even learning enough to help make things better. Perhaps most of all, compassion involves courage: the courage to let our hearts break. But here’s the thing: our hearts are going to break anyway. Bad things sometimes happen in life, and we all have to find ways to work with them. Remember, it’s the price of admission to have a human life. The question is this: What are we going to do when that happens? Will we close ourselves off, or open our- selves up? What if we accept this pain and occasional heartbreak as simply part of what it costs to have an amazing life? What if we consider what that kind, wise, courageous, compassionate version of us would do? What if we let ourselves care, connecting with likeminded others to support one another in the courageous work of making positive change in our lives, and in the world? Let’s keep our- selves pointed toward the things that are important to us, help our clients do the same, and keep going. This is compassion.