第五章:基于价值观的行为(第一部分)
第5章
以价值观为基础的行动,第一部分
在前面的章节中,我们探讨了痛苦情绪如何触发情绪驱动行为和情绪回避(完全由逃避痛苦的愿望所塑造的行为)。这两种应对反应都会加剧情绪并延长痛苦。而且这两种反应都可能导致慢性情绪障碍和情绪失调。虽然来访可能已经变得更加熟练地通过驾驭情绪波来观察和接受情绪及其引发的冲动,但他们尚未识别出替代的情绪回避和情绪驱动行为的情境适应性行为选择。
接下来的两章将涵盖EET治疗的下一个组成部分和技能——以价值观为基础的行动(VBA)。在本章中,我们将向您展示如何帮助您的来访澄清他们在不同生活领域中的价值观,并在情绪被触发时想象使用VBA。在下一章中,我们将向您展示如何通过一个强大的体验练习,在触发情境中帮助您的来访选择VBA。
EET技能目标:
- 观察 + 接受
- 价值观澄清
以价值观为基础的行动是另一种选择的基础——基于对重要的事情、来访关心的事情采取行动,而不是情绪驱动的反应。一旦来访在触发情境中澄清了他们的价值观,并学会了如何使用以价值观为基础的行动,他们将有新的、更健康、适应性的响应选项。这些替代的行为选择将为旧的、不适应的模式提供一种平衡。
VBA可以定义为将一个人的生活引向重要方向的行为,与当时感觉重要和正确的事情保持一致。因此,价值观不是目标,目标是可以通过计划完成或实现的。价值观及其在以价值观为基础的行动中的表达代表了朝着重要事物的方向或路径。例如,关系中的诚实。告诉对方未说出口的性欲望是一个可以在一次对话中达成的目标。另一方面,比如对伴侣的诚实这一价值观,无法一次性完成;每一天,这一价值观都在特定的以价值观为基础的行动中体现,如表达真实性和诚实。
换句话说,以价值观为基础的行动是将抽象的价值观转化为行为的结果。例如,支持朋友的价值观可以通过帮助朋友搬家或探望生病的人来具体表现。相比之下,情绪驱动的行为常常使来访偏离他们的价值观和基于价值观的意图。偏离个人价值观会侵蚀幸福感,并产生一系列次生问题,如抑郁、受损的关系、缺陷感、缺乏方向、糟糕的选择和无助感。
能够使用以价值观为基础的行动的第一步是澄清什么是价值观。您可以向来访描述价值观澄清的优势如下:
- 价值观指导生活朝向人们希望的方向发展。它们有助于生活围绕着真正重要的事情展开,而不是避免痛苦和追求快乐。
- 价值观提供了动力去做出艰难但必要的改变。例如,改变愤怒驱动的行为可以由善良或爱的价值观所激励。
- 以价值观为基础的行动为情绪驱动或回避行为提供了明确的替代方案。
- 价值观帮助来访做出能带来高幸福感的选择。
评估来访价值观
向来访提供《价值观澄清工作表》,并要求他们圈出自己最重视的十个价值观。
价值观澄清工作表
请浏览以下列表,并圈出你最重视的十个价值观。
- 责任感
- 准确性
- 成就
- 冒险
- 利他主义
- 雄心
- 果断
- 真实性
- 平衡
- 归属感
- 大胆
- 冷静
- 细心
- 挑战
- 愉快
- 清晰思维
- 承诺
- 社区
- 同情心
- 竞争力
- 一致性
- 满足
- 持续改进
- 贡献
- 控制
- 合作
- 正确
- 礼貌
- 创造力
- 好奇心
- 果断
- 可靠性
- 决心
- 敬虔
- 勤奋
- 纪律
- 谨慎
- 多样性
- 动态
- 经济
- 有效性
- 效率
- 优雅
- 共情
- 享受
- 热情
- 平等
- 卓越
- 兴奋
- 专业
- 探索
- 表达
- 公正
- 信仰
- 家庭
- 健康
- 流利
- 专注
- 自由
- 朋友
- 乐趣
- 慷慨
- 优雅
- 成长
- 幸福
- 辛勤工作
- 健康
- 帮助
- 圣洁
- 诚实
- 荣誉
- 谦逊
- 独立
- 创新
- 内在和谐
- 好奇
- 洞察力
- 知识地位
- 智慧
- 直觉
- 快乐
- 正义
- 领导力
- 遗产
- 爱
- 忠诚
- 有所作为
- 精通
- 功绩
- 顺从
- 开放
- 秩序
- 创新
- 爱国主义
- 虔诚
- 积极
- 实用
- 准备
- 专业
- 谨慎
- 质量
- 可靠性
- 机智
- 节制
- 结果导向
- 严谨
- 安全
- 自我实现
- 自我控制
- 自立
- 无私
- 敏感
- 宁静
- 服务
- 精明
- 简单
- 健全
- 速度
- 自发性
- 稳定
- 强度
- 结构
- 成功
- 支持
- 团队合作
- 节制
- 感恩
- 详尽
- 体贴
- 及时
- 宽容
- 传统
- 可信赖
- 求真
- 理解
- 独特性
- 团结
- 有用
- 远见
- 生命力
按领域评估价值观
现在,鼓励来访讨论他们选择的价值观及其重要性。是否有生活经历——无论是快乐的还是困难的——使来访发现了这些价值观的重要性?他们在哪些时候按照这些价值观行动并取得了积极的结果?有没有忘记或未能遵循这些价值观的时候?那时的结果是什么?
在讨论了几个高排名的价值观后,引入《价值观领域工作表》。这里的评估过程更为复杂,要求来访识别每个相关生活领域的价值和具体的价值导向行为。此外,每个领域的价值观通过两种方式进行衡量:
-
I—重要性:
- 0 = 不重要
- 1 = 中等重要
- 2 = 非常重要
-
A—行动(过去七天内实现意图的次数):
- 0 = 无行动
- 1 = 一到两次行动
- 2 = 三到四次行动
- 3 = 五次或更多次行动
这个工作表的一个关键功能是帮助来访识别那些被评价为“非常重要”但很少付诸行动的价值观。这些价值观是否因为情绪驱动的行为而被回避或放弃了?来访是否经常响应行动冲动,以至于关键价值观不再指导他们的选择?简而言之:是不是情绪而不是价值观在主导来访的生活?这通常会引发一个艰难但有益的对话,可以激励来访尝试新的方式来应对困难的情绪。当情绪驱动的行为成为成为他们想成为的人的障碍时,许多来访会问:“我该怎么办?”
价值观领域工作表
-
亲密关系
- 价值:I = A =
- 价值导向行为:
-
育儿
- 价值:I = A =
- 价值导向行为:
-
教育/学习
- 价值:I = A =
- 价值导向行为:
-
朋友/社交生活
- 价值:I = A =
- 价值导向行为:
-
身体自我照顾/健康
- 价值:I = A =
- 价值导向行为:
-
原生家庭
- 价值:I = A =
- 价值导向行为:
- I = 重要性 A = 行动:在过去七天里,你为了你的价值观采取了多少行动?
-
评分:
- 0 = 不重要 0 = 无行动
- 1 = 中等重要 1 = 一到两次行动
- 2 = 非常重要 2 = 三到四次行动
- 3 = 五次或更多次行动
-
灵性
- 价值:I = A =
- 价值导向行为:
-
社区生活/公民身份
- 价值:I = A =
- 价值导向行为:
-
休闲
- 价值:I = A =
- 价值导向行为:
-
工作/职业
- 价值:I = A =
- 价值导向行为:
-
价值:I = A =
- 价值导向行为:
-
价值:I = A =
- 价值导向行为:
- I = 重要性 A = 行动:在过去七天里,你为了你的价值观采取了多少行动?
-
评分:
- 0 = 不重要 0 = 无行动
- 1 = 中等重要 1 = 一到两次行动
- 2 = 非常重要 2 = 三到四次行动
- 3 = 五次或更多次行动
治疗师-来访对话示例:谈论价值观
这位来访在接受治疗时担心她的愤怒正在损害她的人际关系和孩子们的生活。当她感到被忽视、不尊重或被拒绝想要的东西时,就会爆发。以下对话中,治疗师首先探讨了来访的价值观,然后审视了她的情绪驱动行为如何影响了她的选择。
治疗师-来访对话示例:谈论价值观
治疗师:[向来访展示《价值观领域工作表》] 让我们先来看看这个领域:亲密关系。 在这个生活领域中,有没有一个价值观指导你想要成为什么样的人?
来访:关爱。我想对Bill表现出关爱。
治疗师:如果你要把这个价值观转化为行动——作为一种意图或基于价值观的行为——你会怎么做?
来访:我会表达对他的一些困扰的关注和兴趣——比如他的健康、工作上的困难。我会理解他很难组织起来,而不是批评他。
治疗师:这个价值观对你来说有多重要?按照0到2的评分标准。
来访:非常重要。
治疗师:好的,我们写上2。那么你在多大程度上会根据这个关爱的价值观来对待Bill呢?
来访:[沉默] 不太多。
治疗师:一周一两次?三到四次?还是上周完全没有行动?你怎么说?
来访:我觉得上周我没有很好地表现出关爱。
治疗师:[写下“0”] 有时候,我们想做的事情和实际做的事情之间会有差距。我也有这种情况。那么下一个领域,育儿呢?
来访:也是一样的,我希望自己是支持和关爱的。
治疗师:好的,如果这周你把这个价值观转化为具体行为,那会是什么样子?
来访:我会用关心的态度与他们交谈,而不是生气。
治疗师:所以你的意图是……
来访:用温柔的声音说话。即使他们不听我的话或者对我顶嘴时,也要带着爱意。
治疗师:这个价值观对你有多重要?
来访:最重要了。
治疗师:[写下“2”] 那么你多频繁地按照这个意图行事呢?
来访:当他们不听话或者顶嘴的时候?[治疗师点头] 不太经常。我基本上总是会生气并开始大喊大叫。
治疗师:[写下“0”] 所以在另一个领域里,也存在重要性和实际行动之间的差距。让我们继续看其他领域。 [治疗师和来访继续完成工作表。有些领域对来访来说根本不重要:原生家庭、灵性、休闲。有些领域的价值观中等重要:身体自我照顾(锻炼、社区生活)、在孩子学校做志愿者、学习(社区学院写作课)。最后,谈话又回到了那些价值观的重要性与实际行动频率之间存在差距的领域。]
治疗师:我们可以再回到你和Bill的关系吗?关爱的价值观很重要,但表达关心和支持、认可他在组织方面的困难却很难做到。你觉得是什么阻碍了你?
来访:当他事情做不好时,我就会很生气。而且我厌倦了听他抱怨工作。总是同样的问题,他很混乱。所以……我会生气并对他说一些重话。
治疗师:所以你的挫败感导致了愤怒,然后呢?
来访:你知道的。我们一直在讨论行动冲动。我有一种冲动要对他大喊大叫,并责怪他。
治疗师:所以大喊大叫的冲动——当你生气时的情绪驱动行为——成为了关爱价值的障碍。
来访:[看起来生气] 我不喜欢你这么说。但是……是的。
治疗师:这确实很难。看着这些让人痛苦。你愿意检查另一个领域——育儿——在那里你也觉得关爱很重要吗?
价值观领域工作表
(来访样本)
-
亲密关系
- 价值:关爱 I = 2 A = 0
- 价值导向行为:
- 表达关心和兴趣,特别是关于他组织困难的问题
-
育儿
- 价值:支持 I = 2 A = 0
- 价值导向行为:
- 当孩子们不听话或顶嘴时,用温柔和爱意与他们交谈
-
教育/学习
- 价值:学习写作 I = 1 A = 0
- 价值导向行为:
- 报名参加社区学院的写作课程
-
朋友/社交生活
- 价值:倾听 I = 1 A = 2
- 价值导向行为:
- 询问对方的情况并表现出兴趣。不要打断或评判。
-
身体自我照顾/健康
- 价值:健康的耐力 I = 1 A = 1
- 价值导向行为:
- 每周进行三次有氧运动
-
原生家庭
- 价值:I = 0 A = 0
- 价值导向行为:
-
灵性
- 价值:I = 0 A = 0
- 价值导向行为:
-
社区生活/公民身份
- 价值:志愿服务 I = 1 A = 0
- 价值导向行为:
- 在孩子的学校帮忙
-
休闲
- 价值:I = 0 A = 0
- 价值导向行为:
-
工作/职业
- 价值:支持同事 I = 2 A = 2
- 价值导向行为:
- 询问他们的项目进展如何
在困境中运用价值观
接下来,你将帮助来访识别那些经常触发强烈负面情绪的情境。目标是将这些情绪触发点与来访希望遵循的价值观/意图相匹配。首先,与来访一起头脑风暴,尽可能多地列出触发情境——大约八到十二个。
例如,来访列出了以下触发她情绪的情境:
- Bill没有完成他承诺的事情。
- Bill在工作或家里无法组织好某些事情。
- Bill看起来困惑且心不在焉。
- 我的孩子们不听我的话。
- 我的孩子们大声喧哗。
- 我的孩子们嘲笑我讲话的方式。
- 我的孩子们窃窃私语,嘲笑我认为他们需要做的事情。
- 我的老板再次说我们的部门表现不佳。
- 我的老板低头看他的鞋子,这意味着他没有听我说。
- 我的朋友谈论他们的问题——这些问题与我现在面临的完全不一样。
- 我父亲每周的电话。
- 与我儿子的老师打交道——这位老师不了解他,也不关心他的需求。
现在有了这个触发列表,询问来访在每个情境中他们希望遵循的价值观/意图是什么。通常,他们会集中在一两个关键价值观上,比如善良或诚实。如果来访难以确定关键价值观,可以问他们在这种情境下想成为什么样的人。你可以这样说:“你非常生气。X、Y 和 Z 发生了。你感到 ,而这种情绪驱使你 。注意这种冲动的力量。注意痛苦以及它如何推动你做一些事情来感觉更好,摆脱伤害。现在你有一个选择:按照你的情绪冲动行事,或者成为你想成为的人。告诉我你的选择。”
例如,来访确定了以下价值观和意图/基于价值观的行为,可以在情绪被触发时指导她:
- 善良:意识到他人的痛苦,并认可他们的挣扎
- 真诚:表达自己的感受而不责怪他人
- 关爱:支持他人而不是造成痛苦
这三种价值观成为了来访做选择的基石。它们是适应性的替代方案,以对抗她的情绪驱动的攻击性行为。
价值观实现的障碍
来访很清楚自己有多少次没有按照价值观行事。他们对此失败感到痛苦且深刻地意识到这一点。但他们可能不清楚原因。治疗中的一个关键步骤是验证这种痛苦以及转向基于价值观做选择的巨大挑战。有三个主要障碍阻碍了人们按照自己的价值观生活:
-
对当下基于价值观行动的缺乏清晰认识:
- 来访在情绪激活时,未能清晰地认识到两种选择:基于价值观的行为与情绪驱动的反应。
- 这通常是由于价值观澄清过程不完整造成的。要么来访没有充分探索自己的价值观和意图,要么这些价值观从未应用于触发情境中。
- 当面对强烈的情绪时,来访可能完全不知道该怎么做。
-
控制痛苦情绪的本能驱动力:
- 负面情绪越强烈,避免情绪和情绪驱动行为的冲动就越强。
- 来访通常在寻求治疗前已经有一段长时间试图控制困难情绪的历史。
- 但控制情绪痛苦的努力无意中导致来访离基于价值观的行动越来越远。相反,在选择的时刻,来访会挣扎于如何应对和控制情绪,而他们的价值观意识可能会消失。
-
情绪回避和情绪驱动行为在当下感觉良好:
- 情绪驱动行为在当下会带来即时的奖励,使其看起来像是更好的、更容易的选择。
- 强调给来访听,基于价值观的行动将因上述所有原因而具有挑战性。要理解,有时情绪触发点会掩盖选择的时刻,或使价值观看起来遥不可及。然而,尽管基于价值观的行动并不总是可能,但知道什么重要会增加更有意识决策的机会。
基于价值观的行动
在面对情绪触发时,只有通过识别选择的时刻,才能实现基于价值观的行动。这可以通过以下步骤来实现:
- 注意到痛苦的情绪,包括感受、想法和身体感觉;
- 观察行动冲动;
- 记住情境相关的价值观/意图;
- 决定采取行动(基于价值观/意图或情绪驱动的冲动)。
真正的选择时刻要求来访使用步骤1到3,而不是仅仅做出反应。之前所有关于情绪意识和正念接受的工作都将发挥作用——来访更善于观察感受;他们已经养成了在行动前观察和接受的习惯。
一旦识别出选择的时刻,并不能保证来访会选择基于价值观的行动。情绪驱动行为的强化仍然很强。但你可以通过使用《基于价值观行动的好处工作表》来增加动机。这个简单的练习帮助来访识别在多个领域内基于价值观行动所带来的积极结果。
基于价值观行动的好处工作表
现在你已经明确了你的价值观,并且理解了选择的时刻为你提供了一个在充满情绪的情境中做出有益决策的机会——让我们探讨一下可能的反应。回答以下关于你的价值观、意图和围绕价值观的行动的问题:
- 基于价值观的行动如何影响我与朋友和家人的关系?
- 基于价值观的行动如何影响我与配偶或伴侣的关系,或者我的居住情况?
- 当我在情绪被触发时,基于价值观的行动如何影响我的人际关系?
- 基于价值观的行动如何影响我的工作或学业?
- 基于价值观的行动如何影响我的财务状况?
- 基于价值观的行动如何影响我的健康?
- 基于价值观的行动如何影响我的长期目标?
- 基于价值观的行动如何影响我的安全和保障?
本章知识点阐述
知识点阐述
-
以价值观为基础的行动(VBA)的重要性
- 定义:VBA是一种基于个人价值观的行为方式,它引导个体朝着对他们来说重要的方向前进,而不是被情绪驱动或回避行为所控制。
-
重要性:
- VBA可以帮助个体更好地管理情绪,减少情绪驱动行为和情绪回避带来的负面影响。
- 通过基于价值观的行为,个体可以提高生活质量,增强幸福感。
-
具体实践:
- 价值观澄清:帮助来访明确他们在不同生活领域中的价值观。
- 情境应用:在情绪被触发时,鼓励来访想象并实践符合其价值观的行为。
-
价值观澄清的意义
- 定义:价值观澄清是指帮助个体明确他们认为重要的原则和信念的过程。
-
重要性:
- 价值观澄清有助于个体理解自己的核心信念,从而更好地指导他们的行为。
- 明确的价值观可以作为决策的指南针,帮助个体做出符合长期目标的选择。
-
具体实践:
- 价值观清单:提供《价值观澄清工作表》,让来访圈出他们最重视的价值观。
- 讨论与反思:与来访讨论他们的价值观,并反思这些价值观如何影响他们的生活和决策。
-
价值观与目标的区别
-
定义:
- 价值观:持久的原则和信念,代表了个体在生活中所追求的方向。
- 目标:具体的、可实现的任务或成就。
-
重要性:
- 价值观为个体提供了持续的动力和支持,而目标则是短期的具体任务。
- 通过将价值观与目标相结合,个体可以确保他们的行动既符合长期愿景,又能实现短期目标。
-
具体实践:
- 价值观导向的目标设定:帮助来访设定与其价值观相一致的具体目标。
- 持续践行:鼓励来访在日常生活中不断践行他们的价值观,即使是在面对挑战时。
-
定义:
-
情绪驱动行为与价值观的冲突
- 定义:情绪驱动行为是指由强烈情绪引发的行为,这些行为往往偏离个体的核心价值观。
-
重要性:
- 情绪驱动行为可能导致短期缓解,但长期来看会损害个体的心理健康和社会关系。
- 通过识别和调整情绪驱动行为,个体可以更好地遵循他们的价值观,提高整体幸福感。
-
具体实践:
- 情绪识别:帮助来访识别情绪驱动行为的模式。
- 替代行为:教授来访在情绪被触发时,选择符合其价值观的替代行为。
通过以上知识点的阐述,我们可以看到以价值观为基础的行动是一种有效的情绪管理方法。通过明确价值观并在日常生活中践行这些价值观,个体可以更好地管理情绪,提高生活质量。希望这些信息能为您提供有价值的见解,并在实践中有所帮助。
知识点阐述
-
价值观澄清的意义
- 定义:价值观澄清是指帮助个体明确他们认为重要的原则和信念的过程。
-
重要性:
- 价值观澄清有助于个体理解自己的核心信念,从而更好地指导他们的行为。
- 明确的价值观可以作为决策的指南针,帮助个体做出符合长期目标的选择。
-
具体实践:
- 价值观清单:提供《价值观澄清工作表》,让来访圈出他们最重视的价值观。
- 讨论与反思:与来访讨论他们的价值观,并反思这些价值观如何影响他们的生活和决策。
-
价值观的作用
- 定义:价值观是个人或组织所持有的持久的原则和信念,它们代表了个体在生活中所追求的方向。
-
重要性:
- 价值观为个体提供了持续的动力和支持,帮助他们在面对挑战时保持坚定。
- 价值观有助于个体建立一致的行为模式,增强自我认同感和自信心。
-
具体实践:
- 价值观导向的目标设定:帮助来访设定与其价值观相一致的具体目标。
- 日常践行:鼓励来访在日常生活中不断践行他们的价值观,即使是在面对挑战时。
-
价值观与情绪管理的关系
- 定义:以价值观为基础的行动(VBA)是一种基于个人价值观的行为方式,它引导个体朝着对他们来说重要的方向前进,而不是被情绪驱动或回避行为所控制。
-
重要性:
- VBA可以帮助个体更好地管理情绪,减少情绪驱动行为和情绪回避带来的负面影响。
- 通过基于价值观的行为,个体可以提高生活质量,增强幸福感。
-
具体实践:
- 情绪识别:帮助来访识别情绪驱动行为的模式。
- 替代行为:教授来访在情绪被触发时,选择符合其价值观的替代行为。
-
价值观与职业发展
- 定义:价值观不仅影响个人的生活决策,还深刻影响职业选择和发展。
-
重要性:
- 价值观可以帮助个体找到与自己理念相符的工作,从而提高工作满意度和职业成就。
- 了解个人价值观有助于职业规划,确保职业路径与个人的核心信念一致。
-
具体实践:
- 职业价值观评估:使用职业价值观评估工具,帮助来访确定他们在职业中最重视的价值观。
- 职业规划:根据来访的职业价值观,制定符合其长远目标的职业发展计划。
-
价值观与人际关系
- 定义:价值观在人际关系中起着重要作用,影响个体如何与他人互动和建立关系。
-
重要性:
- 价值观相似的人更容易建立深厚的关系,而价值观冲突可能导致关系紧张。
- 了解和尊重他人的价值观有助于建立更健康、更和谐的人际关系。
-
具体实践:
- 价值观沟通:鼓励来访在人际关系中表达和沟通他们的价值观。
- 解决价值观冲突:教授来访如何处理价值观冲突,寻找共同点和妥协方案。
通过以上知识点的阐述,我们可以看到价值观澄清是一个重要的过程,它不仅帮助个体明确自己的核心信念,还能在多个方面提升个人的生活质量。希望这些信息能为您提供有价值的见解,并在实践中有所帮助。
知识点阐述
-
按领域评估价值观的意义
- 定义:按领域评估价值观是指帮助个体明确他们在不同生活领域中的核心价值观,并评估这些价值观在实际生活中的体现程度。
-
重要性:
- 通过按领域评估价值观,个体可以更好地理解自己的行为模式与价值观之间的联系。
- 这种评估有助于识别那些被忽视或未充分实践的重要价值观,从而制定相应的行动计划。
-
具体实践:
- 价值观讨论:与来访讨论他们选择的价值观及其重要性,以及这些价值观在生活中的体现。
- 填写工作表:使用《价值观领域工作表》,让来访在每个相关生活领域中识别价值观和具体的价值导向行为,并进行评分。
-
价值观与情绪驱动行为的关系
- 定义:情绪驱动行为是指由强烈情绪引发的行为,这些行为往往偏离个体的核心价值观。
-
重要性:
- 情绪驱动行为可能导致短期缓解,但长期来看会损害个体的心理健康和社会关系。
- 通过识别和调整情绪驱动行为,个体可以更好地遵循他们的价值观,提高整体幸福感。
-
具体实践:
- 情绪识别:帮助来访识别情绪驱动行为的模式。
- 替代行为:教授来访在情绪被触发时,选择符合其价值观的替代行为。
-
价值观导向行为的实施
- 定义:价值观导向行为是指基于个人价值观的具体行动,这些行动有助于个体朝着他们认为重要的方向前进。
-
重要性:
- 通过实施价值观导向行为,个体可以更好地管理情绪,减少情绪驱动行为和情绪回避带来的负面影响。
- 价值观导向行为有助于提高生活质量,增强幸福感。
-
具体实践:
- 设定目标:帮助来访设定与其价值观相一致的具体目标。
- 日常践行:鼓励来访在日常生活中不断践行他们的价值观,即使是在面对挑战时。
-
价值观与生活领域的关系
- 定义:价值观不仅影响个体的整体生活决策,还深刻影响各个生活领域中的具体行为。
-
重要性:
- 了解和明确各个生活领域的价值观有助于个体在这些领域中做出更符合自己核心信念的选择。
- 通过在各个生活领域中践行价值观,个体可以提高生活满意度和幸福感。
-
具体实践:
- 领域评估:使用《价值观领域工作表》,帮助来访识别和评估他们在不同生活领域中的价值观。
- 行动计划:根据评估结果,制定具体的行动计划,以确保价值观在各个生活领域中得到体现。
-
价值观与情绪管理的结合
- 定义:将价值观与情绪管理相结合,意味着在情绪被触发时,个体能够基于其价值观做出更健康的反应。
-
重要性:
- 通过结合价值观和情绪管理,个体可以更好地应对情绪波动,减少情绪驱动行为。
- 价值观提供了一个稳定的参考框架,帮助个体在情绪波动时保持冷静和理性。
-
具体实践:
- 情绪冲浪:教会来访在情绪波动时使用情绪冲浪技巧,同时关注他们的价值观。
- 反思与调整:定期反思情绪管理策略的有效性,并根据需要进行调整,确保它们与个人价值观一致。
通过以上知识点的阐述,我们可以看到按领域评估价值观是一个重要的过程,它不仅帮助个体明确自己的核心信念,还能在多个方面提升个人的生活质量。希望这些信息能为您提供有价值的见解,并在实践中有所帮助。
知识点阐述
-
按领域评估价值观的意义
- 定义:按领域评估价值观是指帮助个体明确他们在不同生活领域中的核心价值观,并评估这些价值观在实际生活中的体现程度。
-
重要性:
- 通过按领域评估价值观,个体可以更好地理解自己的行为模式与价值观之间的联系。
- 这种评估有助于识别那些被忽视或未充分实践的重要价值观,从而制定相应的行动计划。
-
具体实践:
- 价值观讨论:与来访讨论他们选择的价值观及其重要性,以及这些价值观在生活中的体现。
- 填写工作表:使用《价值观领域工作表》,让来访在每个相关生活领域中识别价值观和具体的价值导向行为,并进行评分。
-
价值观与情绪驱动行为的关系
- 定义:情绪驱动行为是指由强烈情绪引发的行为,这些行为往往偏离个体的核心价值观。
-
重要性:
- 情绪驱动行为可能导致短期缓解,但长期来看会损害个体的心理健康和社会关系。
- 通过识别和调整情绪驱动行为,个体可以更好地遵循他们的价值观,提高整体幸福感。
-
具体实践:
- 情绪识别:帮助来访识别情绪驱动行为的模式。
- 替代行为:教授来访在情绪被触发时,选择符合其价值观的替代行为。
-
价值观导向行为的实施
- 定义:价值观导向行为是指基于个人价值观的具体行动,这些行动有助于个体朝着他们认为重要的方向前进。
-
重要性:
- 通过实施价值观导向行为,个体可以更好地管理情绪,减少情绪驱动行为和情绪回避带来的负面影响。
- 价值观导向行为有助于提高生活质量,增强幸福感。
-
具体实践:
- 设定目标:帮助来访设定与其价值观相一致的具体目标。
- 日常践行:鼓励来访在日常生活中不断践行他们的价值观,即使是在面对挑战时。
-
价值观与生活领域的关系
- 定义:价值观不仅影响个体的整体生活决策,还深刻影响各个生活领域中的具体行为。
-
重要性:
- 了解和明确各个生活领域的价值观有助于个体在这些领域中做出更符合自己核心信念的选择。
- 通过在各个生活领域中践行价值观,个体可以提高生活满意度和幸福感。
-
具体实践:
- 领域评估:使用《价值观领域工作表》,帮助来访识别和评估他们在不同生活领域中的价值观。
- 行动计划:根据评估结果,制定具体的行动计划,以确保价值观在各个生活领域中得到体现。
-
情绪驱动行为与价值观冲突的处理
- 定义:情绪驱动行为与价值观之间的冲突是指个体在情绪波动时采取的行为与他们的核心价值观不符。
-
重要性:
- 识别这种冲突有助于个体更好地理解自己的行为模式,并找到解决问题的方法。
- 通过解决这种冲突,个体可以更好地实现自我一致性,提高情绪调节能力。
-
具体实践:
- 反思与探讨:帮助来访反思情绪驱动行为与价值观之间的冲突,并探讨背后的原因。
- 技能训练:教授来访情绪调节技巧,如情绪冲浪,以帮助他们在情绪波动时更好地遵循价值观。
- 行动计划:制定具体的行动计划,逐步减少情绪驱动行为,增加价值观导向行为。
通过以上知识点的阐述,我们可以看到按领域评估价值观是一个重要的过程,它不仅帮助个体明确自己的核心信念,还能在多个方面提升个人的生活质量。希望这些信息能为您提供有价值的见解,并在实践中有所帮助。
知识点阐述
-
按领域评估价值观的意义
- 定义:按领域评估价值观是指帮助个体明确他们在不同生活领域中的核心价值观,并评估这些价值观在实际生活中的体现程度。
-
重要性:
- 通过按领域评估价值观,个体可以更好地理解自己的行为模式与价值观之间的联系。
- 这种评估有助于识别那些被忽视或未充分实践的重要价值观,从而制定相应的行动计划。
-
具体实践:
- 价值观讨论:与来访讨论他们选择的价值观及其重要性,以及这些价值观在生活中的体现。
- 填写工作表:使用《价值观领域工作表》,让来访在每个相关生活领域中识别价值观和具体的价值导向行为,并进行评分。
-
价值观与情绪驱动行为的关系
- 定义:情绪驱动行为是指由强烈情绪引发的行为,这些行为往往偏离个体的核心价值观。
-
重要性:
- 情绪驱动行为可能导致短期缓解,但长期来看会损害个体的心理健康和社会关系。
- 通过识别和调整情绪驱动行为,个体可以更好地遵循他们的价值观,提高整体幸福感。
-
具体实践:
- 情绪识别:帮助来访识别情绪驱动行为的模式。
- 替代行为:教授来访在情绪被触发时,选择符合其价值观的替代行为。
-
价值观导向行为的实施
- 定义:价值观导向行为是指基于个人价值观的具体行动,这些行动有助于个体朝着他们认为重要的方向前进。
-
重要性:
- 通过实施价值观导向行为,个体可以更好地管理情绪,减少情绪驱动行为和情绪回避带来的负面影响。
- 价值观导向行为有助于提高生活质量,增强幸福感。
-
具体实践:
- 设定目标:帮助来访设定与其价值观相一致的具体目标。
- 日常践行:鼓励来访在日常生活中不断践行他们的价值观,即使是在面对挑战时。
-
情绪触发情境的识别与应对
- 定义:情绪触发情境是指那些容易引发个体强烈负面情绪的情境。
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重要性:
- 识别这些情境有助于个体提前准备,采取更有效的应对策略。
- 通过将情绪触发情境与价值观相匹配,个体可以在情绪波动时做出更符合自己核心信念的选择。
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具体实践:
- 情境列举:与来访一起列出可能的情绪触发情境。
- 价值观匹配:帮助来访在每个情境中找到与其价值观相匹配的意图和行为。
- 技能训练:教授来访情绪调节技巧,如情绪冲浪,以帮助他们在情绪波动时更好地遵循价值观。
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价值观作为决策指南
- 定义:价值观作为决策指南是指在面临选择时,个体依据自己的核心价值观来做出决定。
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重要性:
- 价值观为个体提供了稳定的行为准则,帮助他们在复杂情境中做出一致且有意义的选择。
- 通过将价值观作为决策指南,个体可以提高自我一致性,增强内在满足感。
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具体实践:
- 价值观澄清:帮助来访明确他们在不同情境下的核心价值观。
- 决策反思:鼓励来访在做出决策后反思该决策是否符合其价值观。
- 行为调整:根据反思结果,调整行为以更好地契合价值观。
通过以上知识点的阐述,我们可以看到按领域评估价值观是一个重要的过程,它不仅帮助个体明确自己的核心信念,还能在多个方面提升个人的生活质量。希望这些信息能为您提供有价值的见解,并在实践中有所帮助。
知识点阐述
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价值观实现的障碍
- 定义:价值观实现的障碍是指那些阻止个体按照其核心价值观行事的因素。
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重要性:
- 了解这些障碍有助于个体更好地应对并克服它们,从而更一致地遵循自己的价值观。
- 识别障碍可以帮助治疗师设计更有效的干预措施,支持来访实现价值观导向的生活。
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具体实践:
- 价值观澄清:确保来访充分探索和明确自己的价值观。
- 情绪意识训练:教授来访识别情绪及其成分,如感受、想法和身体感觉。
- 正念接受:帮助来访发展观察和接受情绪的能力,而不是立即做出反应。
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情绪驱动行为与价值观冲突
- 定义:情绪驱动行为是指由强烈情绪引发的行为,这些行为往往偏离个体的核心价值观。
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重要性:
- 情绪驱动行为可能导致短期缓解,但长期来看会损害个体的心理健康和社会关系。
- 通过识别和调整情绪驱动行为,个体可以更好地遵循他们的价值观,提高整体幸福感。
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具体实践:
- 情绪识别:帮助来访识别情绪驱动行为的模式。
- 替代行为:教授来访在情绪被触发时,选择符合其价值观的替代行为。
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基于价值观行动的过程
- 定义:基于价值观的行动是指在面对情绪触发时,个体根据自己的价值观做出的选择。
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重要性:
- 通过实施基于价值观的行动,个体可以更好地管理情绪,减少情绪驱动行为和情绪回避带来的负面影响。
- 价值观导向的行为有助于提高生活质量,增强幸福感。
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具体实践:
- 识别选择时刻:帮助来访识别情绪触发时的选择时刻。
- 四步法:指导来访使用“注意情绪—观察行动冲动—记住价值观—决定行动”的四步法。
- 技能训练:教授来访情绪调节技巧,如情绪冲浪,以帮助他们在情绪波动时更好地遵循价值观。
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基于价值观行动的好处
- 定义:基于价值观的行动的好处是指在多个生活领域中,按照价值观行事所带来的积极结果。
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重要性:
- 了解这些好处可以增加来访选择基于价值观行动的动机。
- 通过识别这些好处,来访可以更好地理解价值观对其生活的全面影响。
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具体实践:
- 填写工作表:使用《基于价值观行动的好处工作表》,帮助来访识别在不同生活领域中基于价值观行动的积极结果。
- 反思与讨论:鼓励来访反思这些好处,并讨论如何在日常生活中更多地践行价值观。
通过以上知识点的阐述,我们可以看到识别和克服价值观实现的障碍是一个重要的过程,它不仅帮助个体明确自己的核心信念,还能在多个方面提升个人的生活质量。希望这些信息能为您提供有价值的见解,并在实践中有所帮助。
Chapter 5
Values-Based Action, Part 1 In the foregoing chapters we’ve explored how painful emotions trigger both urges to engage in emotion-driven behavior and emotion avoidance (behavior exclusively shaped by the desire to escape pain). Both of these coping responses serve to intensify the emotion and prolong suffering. And both of these reactions lead to chronic emotion disorders and emotion dysregulation. While clients may be getting more skilled at observing and accepting emotions and the urges they trigger by riding the emotion wave, they have yet to identify alternative contextually adaptive behavioral choices to emotion avoidance and emotion-driven behavior. The next two chapters cover the next EET treatment component and skill, values-based action, or VBA. In this chapter, we show you how to help your clients clarify their values across their various life domains and visualize using VBA when they are emotionally triggered. In the next chapter, we show you how to help your clients choose VBA when they are in a triggering situation using a powerful experiential exercise. EET Skill Objective: Observe + Accept with values clarification Values-based action is the basis for a different choice— acting on what matters, on what clients care about—rather than emotionally driven reactions. Once clients have clarified their values in triggering situations, and have learned how to use values-based action, they’ll have new, healthier, adaptive response options. These alternative behavioral choices will provide a counterweight to old, maladaptive patterns. VBA can be defined as behavior that takes one’s life in a direction that matters, that’s in alignment with what feels important and right for the situation. As such, values are not goals, for which a plan is accomplished or completed. Valuesand their expression in values-based action represent directions or paths toward something that matters. Let’s take honesty in a relationship as an example. A goal of telling the truth about unspoken sexual desires is something that can be achieved in a single conversation. On the other hand, the value of honesty with a partner, for example, cannot be accomplished; every day the value is enacted in specific values-based actions, such as expressing authenticity and truthfulness. In other words, values-based action is the result of turning abstract values into behavior. Having the value of being supportive to friends can be enacted or expressed, for example, by helping a friend move or visiting someone who’s sick. Emotion-driven behavior, by contrast, often carries clients away from values and values-based intentions. Straying from one’s values erodes well-being and creates a host of secondary problems such as depression, damaged relationships, a sense of defectiveness, lack of direction, poor choices, and helplessness. The first step toward being able to use values-based action is to clarify what values are. You can describe the advantages of values clarification to clients as follows: Values direct life where one wants it to go. They help life to be about what matters, as opposed to avoiding pain and seeking pleasure. Values provide motivation to make difficult but necessary changes. For example, changing anger- driven behavior can be motivated by a value of kindness or love. Values-based action provides a clear alternative to emotion-driven or -avoidant behaviors. Values help clients make choices that lead to high well- being.Assessing Client Values Provide clients with the Values Clarification Worksheet and ask them to circle their ten most strongly held values. Values Clarification Worksheet Review the list below and circle your top 10 values. Accountability Accuracy Achievement Adventure Altruism Ambition Assertiveness Authenticity Balance Belonging Boldness Calmness Carefulness Challenge Cheerfulness Clear-mindedness Commitment Community Compassion Competitiveness ConsistencyContentment Continuous improvement Contribution Control Cooperation Correctness Courtesy Creativity Curiosity Decisiveness Dependability Determination Devoutness Diligence Discipline Discretion Diversity Dynamism Economy Effectiveness Efficiency Elegance Empathy Enjoyment Enthusiasm EqualityExcellence Excitement Expertise Exploration Expressiveness Fairness Faith Family Fitness Fluency Focus Freedom Friends Fun Generosity Grace Growth Happiness Hard work Health Helping Holiness Honesty Honor Humility IndependenceIngenuity Inner harmony Inquisitiveness Insightfulness Intellectual status Intelligence Intuition Joy Justice Leadership Legacy Love Loyalty Making a difference Mastery Merit Obedience Openness Order Originality Patriotism Piety Positivity Practicality Preparedness ProfessionalismPrudence Quality Reliability Resourcefulness Restraint Results-oriented Rigor Security Self-actualization Self-control Self-reliance Selflessness Sensitivity Serenity Service Shrewdness Simplicity Soundness Speed Spontaneity Stability Strength Structure Success Support TeamworkTemperance Thankfulness Thoroughness Thoughtfulness Timeliness Tolerance Tradition Trustworthiness Truth-seeking Understanding Uniqueness Unity Usefulness Vision Vitality Assessing Values By Domain Now, encourage clients to talk about the selected values and why they’re important. Are there life experiences—either happy or difficult—whereby clients discovered the significance of this value? When have they acted on the value with positive outcomes? Were there times they forgot or failed to follow this value? What were the outcomes then? After discussing several high-ranking values, introduce the Values Domain Worksheet. The assessment process here is more complex, requiring clients to identify the value and specific values-based action for each relevant life domain. In addition, values in each domain are measured in two ways: I—Importance0 = unimportant 1 = moderately important 2 = very important A—Action (how often the intention was enacted in the past seven days) 0 = no action 1 = one or two actions 2 = three or four actions 3 = five or more actions A crucial function of this worksheet is helping clients identify values, and their corresponding values-based action, that are rated as “very important” yet are rarely acted upon. Have these values been avoided or abandoned because emotion-driven behavior is getting in the way? Are clients so often responding to action urges that key values no longer guide their choices? To put it simply: are emotions—not values—running the clients’ lives? This often leads to a difficult but rewarding conversation that can motivate clients to try new ways of responding to difficult emotions. When it becomes clear that emotion-driven behavior is a barrier to being the person they want to be, many clients will respond by asking, “What can I do about this?” Values Domains Worksheet
- Intimate relationships Value: I = A = Values-Based Action:
- Parenting Value: I = A = Values-Based Action:
- Education/learning Value: I = A = Values-Based Action:
- Friends/social life Value: I = A = Values-Based Action:5. Physical self-care/health Value: I = A = Values-Based Action:
- Family of origin Value: I = A = Values-Based Action: I = Importance A = Action: How much action did you take in the last seven days toward your value? Rate: Rate: 0 = unimportant 0 = no action 1 = moderately important 1 = one or two actions 2 = very important 2 = three or four actions 3 = five or more actions
- Spirituality Value: I = A = Values-Based Action:
- Community life/citizenship Value: I = A = Values-Based Action:
- Recreation Value: I = A = Values-Based Action:
- Work/career Value: I = A = Values-Based Action:
- Value: I = A = Values-Based Action:
- Value: I = A = Values-Based Action: I = Importance A = Action: How much action did you take in the last seven days toward your value? Rate: Rate: 0 = unimportant 0 = no action1 = moderately important 1 = one or two actions 2 = very important 2 = three or four actions 3 = five or more actions Therapist-Client Dialogue Example: Talking About Values This client came into treatment concerned that her anger was damaging her relationships and the lives of her children. Explosions were triggered when she felt ignored, disrespected, or had been denied something she wanted. The therapist, in the following dialogue, first examines the client’s values and then looks at how her emotion-driven behavior impacted her choices. Therapist: [Showing the client the Values Domain Worksheet] Let’s look at this first domain: intimate relationships. Is there a value that guides who you want to be in this part of your life? Client: Caring. I want to be caring with Bill. Therapist: And if you were to turn that value into action—as an intention, or values-based action—what would you do? Client: I’d express concern and interest about some of his struggles—his health, his difficulties at work. I’d appreciate how difficult it is for him to get organized, rather than criticize him. Therapist: How important is this value—on that 0 to 2 scale? Client: Very. Therapist: Okay, let’s write in 2. And how often do you act on your value of being caring with Bill? Client: [Silence] Not so much. Therapist: Once or twice a week? Three or four times? No action last week? What would you say? Client: I don’t think I was very caring last week.Therapist: [Writes in “0”] Sometimes there’s a gap between what we want to do and what we actually do. That’s true for me, too. What about this next domain, parenting? Client: Same thing, I want to be supportive and caring. Therapist: Okay, and if you turn that into specific behavior this week, what would that look like? Client: It would be talking like I cared about them rather than getting angry. Therapist: So your intention would be… Client: Talking with gentleness. With love in my voice. Even when they don’t do what I ask or when they get sassy. Therapist: How important is that value? Client: At the top. Therapist: [Writes in “2”] And how often do you act on your intention? Client: When they aren’t listening or talk back at me? [Therapist nods] Not too much. I pretty much always get upset and start yelling. Therapist: [Writes in “0”] So this is another domain where there’s a gap between what matters and what you find yourself doing. Let’s keep going and look at other domains. [The therapist and the client continue with the worksheet. Some of the domains don’t matter to the client at all: family of origin, spirituality, and recreation. Some had moderately important values: physical self-care (exercise, community life), volunteering at her kids’ school, learning (community college writing class). Finally the conversation circles back to domains where a gap exists between a value’s importance and frequency of action.] Therapist: Could we go back for a moment to your relationship with Bill? The value of caring wasimportant, but the intention of expressing interest and concern, or validating his difficulties getting organized, was hard to do. What gets in the way, do you think? Client: It drives me nuts when he doesn’t get things done. And I’m tired of hearing about work. It’s the same problem, he’s disorganized. So…I get upset and kind of lay into him. Therapist: So your frustration leads to anger, and then what? Client: You know what. We’ve been talking about action urges. I have an urge to yell at him and…blame him. Therapist: So the urge to yell—your emotion-driven behavior when you’re angry—is a barrier to the value of being caring. Client: [Looks angry] I don’t like it when you say it that way. But…yes. Therapist: This is hard. It’s painful to look at. Would you be willing to examine that other domain—parenting— where you felt being caring was important? Values Domain Worksheet (Client Sample)
- Intimate relationships Value: Caring I = 2 A = 0 Values-Based Action: Express concern, interest re: difficulty getting organized
- Parenting Value: Supportive I = 2 A = 0 Values-Based Action: Talk with gentleness/love when they didn’t listen or are sassy
- Education/learning Value: Learn how to write I = 1 A = 0 Values-Based Action: Enroll in community college class4. Friends/social life Value: Listen I = 1 A = 2 Values-Based Action: Ask about what’s going on, be interested. Don’t interrupt or judge.
- Physical self-care/health Value: Healthy stamina I = 1 A =1 Values-Based Action: Cardio exercise 3x week
- Family of origin Value: I = 0 A = 0 Values-Based Action:
- Spirituality Value: I = 0 A = 0 Values-Based Action:
- Community life/citizenship Value: Volunteering I = 1 A =0 Values-Based Action: Help at children’s school
- Recreation Value: I = 0 A = 0 Values-Based Action:
- Work/career Value: Support co-workers I = 2 A = 2 Values-Based Action: Ask how their projects are going Accessing Values During Distress Next, you will help clients identify frequent triggering situations where strong, negative emotions get activated. The goal here is to match these emotional triggers with a value/intention that clients wish to be guided by. Start by brainstorming with your clients as many triggering situations —eight to twelve—as you can think of.As an example, the client listed the following situations that were emotionally activating triggers: Bill doesn’t get something done that he promises to do. Bill can’t get organized around some job at work or home. Bill looks confused and out of it. My kids ignore what I ask. My kids get loud. My kids make fun of the way I talk. My kids whisper together, laughing at something I think they need to do. My boss says for the umpteenth time that our department is underperforming. My boss looks at his shoes, which means he isn’t listening to me. My friends talk about their problems—which are nothing close to what I’m facing right now. My father’s weekly call. Dealing with my son’s teacher—who doesn’t get him and doesn’t care what he needs. Now, with a list of triggers, ask clients what value/intention they want to act on in each situation. Typically, they’ll focus on one or two key values—kindness or honesty, for example. If clients are having trouble identifying key values, ask who they want to be in the situation. You can say, “You’re extremely upset. X, Y, and Z have happened. You’re feeling , and the emotion is driving you to . Notice the power of that urge. Notice the pain and how it pushes you to do something to feel better, to feel free of the hurt. Now you willhave a choice: act on your emotional urges or be who you want to be. Tell me about that choice.” For example, the client identified the following values and intentions/values-based actions that could guide her during emotional triggers: Kindness: awareness of others’ pain and validating their struggles Truthfulness: saying what I feel without blaming people for it Caring: supporting people rather than causing pain These three values became a touchstone for the choices the client made. They were an adaptive alternative to her emotion- driven aggression. Barriers to Values Clients know how often they don’t act on values. They are acutely, painfully aware of this failure. What they may not know is why. An essential step in this treatment is to validate the pain and the enormous challenge in shifting to making choices based on values. There are three huge barriers to living one’s values: A lack of clarity about values-based action in the moment. The client doesn’t clearly recognize the two choices during emotion activation: values-based behavior versus emotion-driven responses. This is often the result of an incomplete values-clarification process. Either the client hasn’t fully explored his or her values and intentions, or the values have never been applied to triggering situations. The client may have no idea what to do when faced with strong emotions. A hardwired drive to control painful emotion. The stronger a negative emotion, the stronger becomes theurge for emotion avoidance and emotion-driven behavior. Clients typically arrive in therapy with a long history of trying to control difficult emotion. But the effort to control emotional pain has the unintended and parallel consequence of carrying clients farther from values-based action. Instead, at the moment of choice, clients struggle with urges to act on and control emotions, and their awareness of values can literally disappear. Emotion avoidance and emotion-driven behavior feel good in the moment. They are also negatively reinforced. The immediate reward for emotion-driven behavior makes it seem like the better, easier choice. Emphasize to clients that acting on values will be challenging for all of the above reasons. Appreciate that there will be times when emotional triggers obscure the moment of choice, or make values seem unreachable. But while acting on values won’t always be possible, knowing what matters will increase the opportunity for more-conscious decision making. Values-Based Action Values-based action—in the face of emotional triggers—is only made possible by recognizing the moment of choice, which can be found using the following sequence: Noticing painful emotion, including the components of feelings, thoughts, and sensations; observing the action urge; remembering situation-relevant values/intentions; and deciding to act (on values/intentions or emotion-driven urges). An authentic moment of choice requires that clients use steps 1 through 3 rather than merely reacting. All the earlier workwith emotion awareness and mindful acceptance will come into play—the clients are more skilled at observing feelings; they have been developing the habit of observing and accepting before acting. Once the moment of choice has been identified, there’s no guarantee that clients will choose values-based action. The reinforcement for emotion-driven behavior will still be strong. But you can increase motivation by using the Benefits of Values-Based Action Worksheet. This simple exercise helps clients identify positive outcomes from acting on values across multiple domains. Benefits of Values-Based Action Worksheet Now that you’ve identified your values—and you understand that the moment of choice presents an opportunity to make a helpful decision about how to respond in an emotion-filled situation—let’s explore possible reactions. Answer the following questions about your values, your intentions, and your actions around your values. How does values-based action affect my relationships with friends and family? How does values-based action affect my relationship with my spouse or partner, or my living situation? How does values-based action affect my relationships when I am emotionally triggered? How does values-based action affect my work or school? How does values-based action affect my financial situation? How does values-based action affect my health? How does values-based action affect my long-term goals? How does values-based action affect my safety and security? Therapist-Client Dialogue Example: Benefits of Values-Based Action The client and her therapist explored the benefits of values- based action in the following dialogue:Therapist: Let’s look at the Benefits of Values-Based Action Worksheet. In terms of your children, the values were gentleness, caring, and love. How would acting on those values affect the relationship to your children? Client: They would feel protected. They’d see that I care rather than seeing me blow up. They wouldn’t be so wary of me, and I think I’d enjoy being with them a lot more. Therapist: [Knowing the importance of putting this in writing] Could you capture those thoughts on the worksheet? [Pause] And what about with Bill? Would a caring response to his not being organized or not getting things done have benefits in that relationship? Client: [Long pause] Yes, but I feel embarrassed to say… I think our sexual relationship would improve. He gets hurt and kinda withdraws from me. I think there would be more affection and sweetness between us instead of distance. Therapist: Let’s get that down, too. It feels important. [When the client finishes the Benefits of Values-Based Action Worksheet, a look of sadness comes over her. She reads it over a second time.] Client: I need to make some changes. Your clients now have the tools they need to identify the moment of choice, identify a VBA, and visualize using the VBA during emotion exposure as part of their skills practice outside of session. Clients will continue the practice of choosing VBA in the next session, described in the next chapter. Summary Following is a synopsis of content covered in chapter 5:Values-based action (VBA) is defined as any behavior that is in alignment with or expresses value for the context of the situation. VBA is an alternative to acting on painful emotions. Clarifying values across life domains is the first step to being able to identify VBA in the moment of choice. Lack of clarity about values; a hard-wiring to avoid pain; the habit of acting on emotion; and short-term reinforcement for acting on emotion-driven behavior, or emotion avoidance, are barriers to choosing values- based action in the moment of choice. Understanding the benefits of VBA can increase motivation to choose an action based on values in the moment of choice instead of an emotion-driven behavior.