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NUSUSK1U Author of Do What You Love, the Money Will Follow Spiritual growth ^Jhrough )=jilmReel PowerOTHER BOOKS BY MARSHA SINETAR Ordinary People as Monks and Mystics Do What You Love, the Money Will Follow Elegant Choices, Healing Choices Living Happily Ever After Developing a 21st-century Mind A Way Without Words Self-esteem Is Just an Idea We Have About Ourselves A Person Is Many Wonderful, Strange ThingsReel Power Spiritual Growth Through Film MARSHA SINETAR n d TRIUMPH™ BOOKS Liguori, MissouriPublished by Triumph™ Books Liguori, Missouri An Imprint of Liguori Publications Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Sinetar, Marsha Reel power : spiritual growth through film / Marsha Sinetar. — 1st ed. p. cm. Includes bibliographical references. ISBN 0-89243-529-1 : $9.95 —Religious aspects. Motion pictures 1.Spiritual life. 3.Motion pictures in religious education. (Psychology) 2. —Religious aspects. I. 4. Self-actualization Title BV4501.2.S4727 1993 261.57—dc20 92-44676 CIP Copyright © 1993 by Marsha Sinetar Printed in the United States of America All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted without the written permission of Triumph™ Books. First EditionIn memory of my good friend, Gordon Johnson, whose fine, wry humor I sorely miss. I would have loved to discuss these films with you, dear Gordon.Contents Acknowledgmentsix Introduction3 1Reel Power: Mine "The Gold" in Movies19 2Adopt New Stories and States of Mind37 3Awaken Inner Strength55 4Follow Virtue81 5Follow Love105 6Follow Breath129 7Exercise Your "Spiritual Eyes"151 Notes 173 vnAcknowledgments began this book in early 1991, then spent two solid years altering and rewriting it. My neighbor, Gaynor Evitts, deserves high praise and thanks for her word processing help during these many months of manuscript revision. My longtime friend, Lyn DelliQuadri, came to my rescue I with her editing expertise during the early stages of writ- ing, and I heartily thank her. I'm enormously grateful to Patricia Kossmann of Triumph Books for her optimism about this work immediately upon reading the manuscript and I'm so thankful that she liked it. I also feel strangely indebted to all those bright actors and diversely gifted moviemakers whose virtue and light shine through their films. Like fine art, poetry and music, a good movie is lyrical and can open the eyes of our hearts. IXReel PowerIntroduction I picked a look you could understand. — God (George Burns), Oh, God Whoever we are, no matter what the unique call of our life, we are meant to learn a universal rule about personal fulfillment: Our own fundamental goodness brings us life, and brings it more abundantly. In other words, our innate virtue is our strength. Conversely, our base self is a killer. It always has been. In our heart, we know all this — such discoveries seem a central aim and realization of human existence. If we're fortunate, we figure all this out on our own; the earlier the better. Sadly, most of us are experts at disowning — our powers. We cast off our virtues, imagine that others but not we have the courage or compassion that we so — crave. We identify with defeat, with hardship, with hope- lessly shallow objectives or exploitive, anxious fellows. Deep down, however, almost everyone senses that there's more to life if not in material attainments, then certainly in our most subjective, intimate experience. Despite life's varied convolutions, our most complete development as persons what I've called spiritual maturity or optimal wholeness happens when, and as, we express our de- cency. Of course this means we embrace our weaknesses — — —4 Marsha Sinetar and dark side too. But not as the dominant feature of our being. All gestures of kindness and compassion, faithful com- mitment to integrity or excellence, our heroism, tenacity, or truthfulness, any relinquishment of narrow self-interest are only some of the many positive ways by which we as- however sert our good will. These innumerable turnings reveal one inescapable fact: As we put small or subtle our best self into our acts, deep healing and satisfaction — — results. What Does "Heart" Mean? To me the word heart means more than our primary physical organ, circulating blood through our body. It sug- gests, as Webster's dictionary puts vitality, intellect, emotion thing." . . . it, "the seat of our the inner, central part of any- Our heart contains the "hidden springs of our our entire mental and moral activity, both the rational and the emotional elements." We conveniently forget this. Periodically, it helps to be reminded. Everything can around us books, poetry and art, nature, people personal life . . . 1 — — aid our recollection. The great theologian Martin Buber said it this way: you if you do not penetrate into it with active love, and if you do not in this way discover its meaning for yourself. Everything is waiting to be hallowed by Existence will remain meaningless for yourself you. 2 Apparently it is my life's call to talk of such sacred How then have I come to write a book about movies? Simply stated, motion pictures are spiritual guides things.Introduction 5 — that watch — films teach and reinforce lasting movies discerningly to life. If we open the eyes of our hearts is, spiritual truths. That they don't always (or that we don't see or demand this) is quite beside the point. Just as great, grand lessons of personhood are contained in myths, in fables and fairy tales, so could it be with film. Movies are a significant, contemporary spiritual resource, a vehicle for communicating about our shared experience of being human. With conscious selectivity, we can train our attention to penetrate into almost any story "with active love" and find lasting enrichment encoded in countless films. Most signif- icantly, the best moving pictures reveal the best qualities of our own heart. Objectively observing ourselves while look- ing at films (I call this timeless practice following breath), 3 we will notice our flaws or shadows, and our vital, life- affirming impulses. Any infusion of greater inspiration or positivity to thought, feeling, or action, any movement at all of our will toward self-acceptance, kindness, patience, 4 or charity indicates the presence of spirituality. Finding in a film that which seeds true nourishment for our soul is better than gold. With renewed inner sight, movies can transform our ordinary viewing, provide us with fodder for creative so- lutions, offer us new stories and inspiring models, and bring us into those elevated states of mind necessary for the growth we crave. These are all spiritual benefits. These revive us, bring us life. words of William Blake (who was of course speaking about human perception, not cinema), movies In the benefit us when they help us "see things as they really — The brightest films including animated stories have always inspired and encouraged us. The brightest, most spiritually aware individuals learn this by themselves. They have as Chapter One sug- are: Infinite." — —Marsha Sinetar 6 gests is — reel power: the ability to dig out, and use, whatever spiritually valuable in a movie. One such person is friend and distant neighbor, Robert Thompson. my Bob has loved and studied movies ever since he was a young boy Now he owns and operates Gualala Video, 5 one of several local video stores. Bob's store is distinctive, incomparable; you can feel this the minute you enter. What's more, Bob he knows just what sort of is a perceptive diagnostician movie you want to see. He started his video business when his private collection took over his home. — Finding the Mystical Message in Film Of spirituality and film, Bob says, "Today, movies are a significant way most people can still get the mystical message." In his way, he explains what this means: For me, there's a magic in film like Spielberg know about. — magic that people And Capra. I've never felt magic was totally under the control of the di- rector, but rather that it came from a higher source. During my life, I've looked for the message (from the Creator?) through the medium of film. this Thompson points out that a film like Zardoz hints at the presence of a "mystical message" right from the start. The opening lines ask, "Is God in Show Business too?" Apparently so. Movies are a modern church peo- ple look for their uplift from movies. Movies are also — teachers. In Batnbi we learn a large message: every time you get into trouble, The Father comes to your rescue. And E.T. also — when he points to his fore- — he's talking about — not about the sensory world. head and says, "I'll be home" spiritual reality7 Introduction you think Bob is stretching a point, bear with me. Studying movies for their mystical message empowers us. We gain insight and greater self-awareness. We begin to ap- preciate our virtues and learn to "see" with our heart If — understand the illogical aspects of human experience. We its grow to comprehend love's odd, unwieldy nature many facets alive in us. This comprehension, soft though it may be, makes us smarter, helps us integrate intuition and logic. This is, in itself, a huge practical advantage, since most of life's problems stem from having too low lack of whole thinking, the absence of a spiritual IQ what the Zen Buddhists call "a big mind, open mind," an — — inordinately polarized mentality. So much of life today is centered on problems, recovery, and the painful struggles of trying to meet the unrelent- ing demands of twenty-first-century living. Unfortunately, by dwelling only on problems, and thus failing to see our- selves and our dilemmas in a heroic, promising light, we limit ourselves. Movies elevate our sights, enlarge imagi- nation. Film, like poetry, is one of our heart's most subtle agents. It reminds us of what we know, helps us stretch and change, provides us with a sensory catalyst for creative, cutting-edge reflection. This book states that ordinary movies can enrich us with answers for creative problem-solving. We can, and probably most of us unconsciously already do, use film to incubate fresh ideas to current dilemmas. For instance, a film's story and its characters show us how to rein- vent (or "find") ourselves. Heroes and heroines (even when obviously stylized or faulty) are frequently models — blueprints for our minds. These patterns plant a sort of coded seedbed that somehow stimulate thinking beneath the level of awareness. In time, these codes sprout fruit of their own kind, ideas — for good or bad — for our life. As stated at the outset, as we identify ourselves with funda-8 Marsha Sinetar mentally good images, our soul gets nourished. This is no meager benefit: from our identifications flow the issues of our life. It has been said that the soul has but two powerful 6 if we watch faculties: its intellect and its will. We can engage both our intellect and our movies intelligently — — Movies stimulate our best intentions and our de- sire to choose on behalf of whatever is intrinsically good, releasing the negative merely by noticing it. We gain actual potency when combining this viewing method with our application of any lasting truths a movie will. gives us. We gain real power when we recognize (and our whole mind, when we blend our rational and "irrational" processes. (Figuring out a film's symbolic or deeper meanings lets us practice this just as poems, music, and literature serve us.) blending Hastily I add that this is art, not science. use) the richness inherent in — All the movies in the world can't turn our beneficent desires into effective action. Only we have the power to act as we know we should — and can. But watching movies "with the eyes of our heart" certainly helps us identify our truest aims, finest values, and noblest aspirations. Accepting Our Intrinsic Worth A good deal is said these days about denial. Usually, this means a refusal to face one's problems or shortcomings. Here is, in part, how denial seems to work: A friend's young granddaughter (age six) had chicken pox. When her grandmother went to visit, she noticed that her grand- child had completely concealed her body by wearing a blue floor-length robe and long blue rubberized kitchen gloves (the kind used for washing dishes). She had also covered all her bedroom mirrors with newspapers. In an-Introduction 9 swer to her grandmother's quizzical look, the little girl said, "I don't like seeing the spots on my hands or face." Like that child, we deny our strengths and goodness (and our shortcomings). We routinely put on, as it were, in the form of unawareness, false protective coverings — humility, or debilitating physical symptoms — to mask our affections or aggressions, and certainly this represses our potential. Defending ourselves against the dangers of our own talents and truest perceptions is far less cum- bersome than rising to the demands these place on us. The healthier we are, the more willing (and able) we are to risk removing our psyche's wraps. Movies offer an unusually safe, enjoyable way to peek our dark sides and our light. at all that we've denied Certainly films let us take a hard and frequent look at our unused powers, if we learn how to watch. No doubt, the decencies or courage we admire so much in lead characters although perhaps dormant are traits alive and well in us — — or well-concealed. Abraham Maslow's word on this is helpful: "it is pre- cisely the god-like in ourselves that we are ambivalent about, fascinated by and fearful of, motivated to and defen- sive against. This is one aspect of the basic human predica- ment, that we are simultaneously worms and gods." 7 This book aims to introduce you to a way of watching films that connects you to your higher possibilities, shows you your best impulses and virtues while you're also being entertained. You may see that you've hidden your finest at- tributes by admiringly projecting these onto your favorite heroes and heroines. The rule of thumb on this is what we love in others is present in us (if also waiting to be developed).10 Marsha Sinetar Don't Dream It — Be It I've said all this is art, not science. Like all art, the viewing method I'm suggesting will be interpreted and practiced slightly differently by each person. Like any art, the tech- nique transforms us only if we perfect ourselves through diligent practice — when we live the art that's in us or pen- etrate our daily life with active love. In other words, we must try to use our "mystical messages" to restore our full engagement with life. As we watch movies "with our heart," our mind re- ceives its images in a solitary fashion, even if we're viewing while in the company of others. After a movie is over, if we've culled its deeper spiritual lessons, a time comes when we might want to apply these new understandings in daily life. This art asks our full focus, patience, and steady self-encouragement. It is one thing to mull over inspiring ideas in isolation, quite another to express these concretely in our everyday life or relationships. For this, we must ad- mit we have potential, must refine our whole mind, and develop our good will. It is, after all, through our mind that we raise or lower our sights about how to be human; but only through our we bring our high visions to When we consciously improve our intellect and will, positive acts of will can life. we can animate our lofty ideals into tangible, actual exis- tence or clear out old, outmoded prejudices and crippling thought patterns. We don't become fully human by merely daydreaming about it. The Rocky Horror Picture Show, that cult favorite (but not one of mine), spells this out plainly: "Don't dream it, be it." Being anything, and especially being whole or spiritu- ally mature, calls for a partnership of mind and heart and will. As each chapter details, we can explore this linkage on our own, simply by raising our level of awareness asIntroduction 11 we watch movies, through informal discussions, and by further practice sessions of specific movies. One of the best things about this method of movie watching is that it's an engaging way to use leisure time much more fun than "zoning- and relate to a film's story out," as my friends call their daydreamy, passive movie- viewing. Perhaps zoning-out is a contemporary form of — managing stress. Despite the continual pressures of contemporary life, our minds are tremendously under-disciplined and under- challenged. This is one reason most of us seek escape through our common diversions or addictions. As that mental giant Sherlock Holmes well knew, it's natu- ral to crave chemical highs when one is not naturally stimulated. Holmes used cocaine when bored. Said he, in A Scan- give me dal in Bohemia, "My mind rebels at stagnation then I can dispense with arti- problems, give me work — . ficial . . stimulation." Might this be true for us? I believe so. Our life's most grand and selfless goals, exciting ones at that, appear when we acknowledge our need for stimu- lation and responsibly step out to be all that we're born to be. Purposefulness is a primary characteristic of life. Each of us yearns to discover how to use our existence mean- ingfully — how to do with life all that we know we were meant to do. Whenever something blocks our creative, ful- filling expression, then (like Sherlock Holmes) we can feel stagnant. Loss of joy and health may result. Naturally this happens by degrees. The longer we're thwarted, or the more talent we have, the greater our rebellion and sense of despair. In Raging Bull Jake LaMotta (Robert omizes the inevitable De Niro) epit- frustration, the erosion of virtue, personal power, and hope when — for whatever reason —12 Marsha Sinetar someone's overarching destiny is hindered. If we weep un- controllably while watching this film — as did a friend — we may have buried our talents, suppressed our own life. Tears, laughter, or rage are but messages from our heart that we can learn to interpret. Our most worthy challenge is to reclaim our humanity, develop our fundamental goodness and high, fine, intel- ligible aims. This is a "mystical" ambition inexplicable and enigmatic. It adds joy to the sweet mystery of our life. Growing toward our fullest expression of personhood is a private individual task and spiritual in the main. Each — one names this activity in his or her own words and tack- les it largely alone, in the safe, private corners of mind and heart — another reason why familiarizing ourselves with the motifs and patterns of our favorite films helps us grow. Movies contain a mystical message whenever their sto- ries strengthen our life's good purposes. They can remind us of our virtue, stimulate answers we're holding within ourselves, or show us what it means to be robustly and responsibly human. If we sense something fine in a film's movement and shadows, however subtle, if our imagina- tion and inner person moves in closer to our decency and authentic life, our inner eyes (or mental vision) open. Then we comprehend the potentials and rich realities of our own splendid heart. How To Use This Book To make the best use of this book, I suggest three sepa- rate readings. The first could be handled as with any other book read straight through to discover what's being said. The second time linger over the questions posed and compare your own insights with mine. The third reading —Introduction 13 could involve actually doing the journal (or discussion) ex- ercises. These are provided to deepen self-awareness and cultivate a more vivid, mindful encounter with popular film. Some readers who have never kept a journal may over- complicate the process. They can relax. There's nothing to it — nothing more esoteric than making out a grocery list. Artists, scientists, musicians, craftpersons, and home- makers routinely write down their ideas or "to do" notes. They do so not because they're hopelessly self-absorbed but because they want to capture and save valuable in- formation: their best thinking. Whether they scribble out recipes or formulas or middle-of-the-night revelations or quotes, whether they jot their notes down on napkin shreds matchbook covers, their purpose is the same: some fleeting, but possibly precious, insight. Al- or inside to save most all creative people constantly attend to their mind's inner workings in some fashion. Even the Bible tells us to "Record the vision, and inscribe it on tablets" (Habakkuk 2:2). Interpreting Your Viewing Habits and Choices — Every chapter in this book discusses movies both old and new, both generally and specifically. No book, how- ever, can say everything about a subject, and certainly nothing (no single book, lecture, or workshop) can itemize all the variables of an issue that might affect an individ- ual. The mystical message in movies will become clearer to you as you look to movies (or television, plays, opera, books, etc.) to help you • imagine new possibilities for yourself by acknowledg- ing your existing — fundamental — strength, goodness, and resourcefulness.14 • Marsha Sinetar contend with your emotions, letting these serve than thwart — your ideals, goals, — rather growth, the adven- ture you want. • improve your most intimate, inner conversations, images, and patterns of thinking, by becoming aware — especially of your subjective self- life. Think about your own film preferences and viewing Try to put this entire discussion into the con- text of your personal experiences and self-development. In Chapter Seven, I list some of my favorite films and suggest specific movies with journal (or discussion) ques- tions to stimulate your inquiry. These motion pictures may not be relevant to you. You might prefer to inter- pret how you have, consciously or unconsciously, shaped your thinking, values, and growth through other films habits. that you repeatedly watch. For instance, as a start, ask yourself: How have •used the often delicate, sometimes obvious, reality-forming images, sounds, and themes of movies to further my life's deepest needs and purposes? •What specific heroes and heroines have lastingly im- pressed me? (What meaning do I give this?) •What moods, qualities, attitudes, or values might I I wish to gain (or create) from my viewing preferences? • What inspires, moves, or challenges me in a film, par- ticularly as this moves me away from fear toward more life, • expanded awareness, or moral elevation? When do movies help me solve problems, incubate ideas, or find novel solutions? As you work with this material and as you identify your favorite movies (the ones that empower you with hope,Introduction 15 or new, vital ideas), keep notes about the patterns of your discoveries: the types of movies you prefer, your con- joy, sistent favorite characters or themes. Try to discern what these are — as metaphors — in terms of a message for your life. Movies Have Their Limits Not for a moment do I suggest that anyone substitute movie-viewing for therapy or for the nurture and support available within a competently run counseling group. On the other hand, therapists, counselors, liberal arts teachers, and parents who don't discuss popular films as they carry out their respective duties of healing, instruction, and the shaping of values sorely miss the mark of. their true func- tion. By helping those we mentor (and ourselves) manage attention, we further spiritual growth. Movies have their limits. They are not prayer (except to those few saints for whom everything is prayer). Never- theless, as later chapters show, by attending to our breath, by keeping a journal (as we watch a film), by taking stock of what we feel or think about some compelling bit of plot, dialogue, or character, we can befriend our hidden cerebrations and discover something new about ourselves. Certainly over time these practices help us guard our in- tellect, become discerning about what images, ideas, and words we invite into our heads through our eyes, ears, and attention. I can't understand why much more hasn't been made of the inherent value of movies long before now. Those who don't like to write can form a discussion group on film's spiritual message with like-minded friends. Years ago, I joined a Great Books club. I'm not a joiner, and I skipped most meetings. Yet when I did attend it was richly rewarding. As a movie-lover, I've often wondered16 Marsha Sinetar why so much of our socializing centers around excessive drinking, dining, and aimless chatter, and so little around rate, if anything in this book enlivens good old-fashioned, heartfelt conversation, I for one will movies. At any rejoice.. . . . when you're born into this universe, you're in it for a long, long time examining period is . . After each lifetime there is an You see, every second of every lifetime always recorded. And, as each one ends, we sort of look at it... examine it and then, if everyone agrees, you move forward — continue onward — [or you're sent back]. The point of this whole thing is to keep getting smarter, to keep growing, to use as much of your brain as possible you know [how much of your brain] you use? — Bob Diamond Defending Your Life — DoREEL POWER: MINE "THE GOLD" IN MOVIES The work of art proceeds from the artist according to a model existing in the mind; which model the artist discov- ers... before he produces, and then he produces as he has predetermined. — Saint Bonaventure Everyone I know loves movies. The big screen, the dark shared experience with all those anonymous heads, even the smell of popcorn are irresistible forces. I used to think that these drew us into a fragile rainbow of fantasy, let us live an enhanced reality at thirty-six frames theater, the per second. Or is it twenty-four? Whatever. Once technol- ogy was capable of mass-producing movies on videotape for our solitary delectation in front of small, private TV screens, it took only a split second for millions of us movie lovers to buy or rent not just our favorite classics but what- ever was left on the shelves. Forget big screens, shared experiences, and the fact that, at home, we pop our own popcorn. Now it's clear to me: The movie itself has power. And what real power this is. 1920 Marsha Sinetar Even an ordinary movie is potentially liberating; it need not be extraordinary in its technical, artistic, or conceptual presentation to exert influence. Our conscious mind, pro- grammed as it is by culture and the context of existence, fixes solely on what's visible. Normally, we attach our- selves to places, to creative projects or things. Attachments stupefy — render us helpless. Perhaps we're wrapped up tightly in our most limiting beliefs, muddled about our potential, or still at the effect of childish feelings and de- pendencies. To widen our scope, movies need only tell us stories that we see as ours, that give us glimpses ever fanciful — of our obsessions or — how- difficulties, or they need only bring us hope. Stories enlarge us, help resolve fears, restore us as particular, distinctive individuals with as yet unrealized dreams. Stories can activate our inner power to choose goodness, vitality, and love. Saint Paul described these higher experiential realms. He prayed (and I paraphrase here) that the eyes of our heart might become enlightened that we may know what is the hope of God's calling for us. 1 Most people, however, seem to prefer safety. They shun the exhilarating heights of their own advanced awareness. Watching films alertly gives us a way to inch toward the truth. In relative comfort we spot self-deception, remem- bering who we are at our best. Movies are often parables that retell myths. As Jung wrote, myths are not precisely fiction but rather deep, abid- ing truths about reality that humankind needs to have affirmed again and again. In these pages I suggest that movies are psychically productive even when they're obvi- ous, elementary fairy tales. A very simple story reinforces life's tough truths and therefore teaches us to endure or to apply ourselves fruitfully. Of course, all truly fine art encourages self-examination and honesty. Ancient sages and contemporary psycholo-Reel Power: Mine "The Gold" in Movies gists alike insist that music, art, 21 and drama are potent transformers of consciousness. The medium of film blends all facets of art in a uniquely riveting way. Like conscious- ness itself, him engages our senses, intellect, and heart, capturing our attention so completely that we can enter the world of self-perception. come by in the distracted, anxious rush of daily living. As we become Opportunities like this are hard to self-aware viewers, our psyche's hidden content — our peeps out at us hesitatingly, in dreams, in sudden insights, through the "Aha!" experience. This book's viewing method invites you to consider your favorite movies as spiritual guides to life not merely as heart — reveals itself, — sources of escapist entertainment. Projections of Our Heart Christ's admonition that we stop worrying about the splin- ter in our brother's eye and, instead, remove the log from our own, gives timeless weight and testimony to the phe- nomenon of projection. We imagine that others, but not we, are ridden with vice. We disassociate ourselves from our deceits and cowardice but easily fantasize that fam- ily or coworkers have magical powers to manipulate us or dangerously control our fate. We disown our life's vi- tality by this displacement not simply by failing to acknowledge our negative, self-sabotaging habits but also by never learning to transmute these qualities into vi- able, life-sustaining powers. We magnify the capabilities — of friends and strangers, positive and negative, then feel and wanting in their midst. Thus we escape the consequences of our potential and miss the mark of responsible, truthful engagement with our own experience. Film (indeed all art) lets us see ourselves anew. Movies ineffectual22 Marsha Sinetar can show us where we store our "logs." Through our in- tense, sometimes inexplicable feelings or reactions to a character or plot, we can recover our own powers for both good and evil. Our interpretation of stories is influenced by our per- sonal history, particularly our pattern of psychological disownments. All rejected, unacceptable bits of self are, in fact, untapped powers, unassimilated and thwarted tal- ents, vibrancies awaiting productive release. These castoffs are forceful enough to impair awareness, and isolate us — in a fictitious, self-invented world. Instead of accepting and expressing our feelings and ideas, we project them onto others, "visualize in the outside world those parts of [our] own personality with which [we] refuse to identify ourselves." 2 If we look at films to seek out their mystical messages, we become aware of our projections and those of the story- tellers. A movie's characters then convey a two-pronged message: the superficial issues of the plot line and the deeper ones of the character's projection. As we yearn breath and hands held tight — — for the hero to save the helpless, cowering victim, we're really rooting for our own rejected heroism, our incapacities or powerlessness. When we cheer some character's wit or in- genuity, we do so with and only because of our good store of humor and resourcefulness. We may most easily resist our fundamental good. It is usual for us to embrace our dark side (despite the exhorta- tions to the contrary by theologians, social "scientists," and — these we know something else again — educators). Guilt, shame, helplessness too well. Our inherent integrity is much more difficult for us to swallow. I reinforce this point throughout this book to help us light up our hidden vir- tue. I believe virtue is synonymous with authentic human power.Reel Power: Mine ''The Gold" in Movies 23 Authentic power is what we humans love and hate, si- multaneously crave and fear. We take two steps toward vigorous, truthful engagement with life and then take three steps back. Yet it is through our virtues that we grow responsibly, safely, and purposefully. I repeat: We project our fundamental human decency, yet decency collectively and individually, we must reclaim is what, — and soon. The challenge of human growth in modern culture of- fers precisely what it always has: the chance and obligation to explore our deepest heart, and the subsequent necessity to discover fresh, broad means by which to lighten-up, ex- pand, elevate our consciousness, cant it toward its highest realms. Our mind's shift toward the new idea or the sym- bolic and concrete affirmation of life releases energy, invites healthy rebirth. If not at once, then gradually. As we experience the radical changes of the twenty- movies seem a primary way for us to find provocatively useful "stuff": images, metaphors, and psy- chic notions to help us imagine big, creative solutions or what it might take to live our own largest humanity. If we can see the log in our own eyes and our heroism, compas- sion, and power, we can do ourselves and one another a world of good. Creative, inspired thinkers have always recognized this tie between art, spirituality, and everyday experience. As I do in these pages, a special few even discuss the spirit- ual potential in movies per se. India's Meher Baba (thought by many to be an Avatar Perfect Master, a God-realized first century, — being) considered film a significant carrier of spiritual truth. He refused to concede "fictitious cleavages in the unity of life," and never exaggerated the differences be- tween the products of daily life and the Indivisible Truth living behind all created things. This perception is a key to the power I'm describing. Despite the fact that Meher Baba spent most of his life24 Marsha Sinetar in India, in total silence and relative seclusion, he reminded — — that they had an filmmakers as well we should today important responsibility to humankind: The film should ask itself whether it is utilizing its spiritual potential to the full so that man may be helped in his search for Truth, or is merely pandering to his pleasure in the false; whether it is encouraging, or retarding youth's inner growth with an overdose of sex and crime films; and whether it is striving after wealth and fame at the cost of man's inherent thirst for the spiritual and the uplifting. 3 Meher Baba saw the obvious: that film is a uniquely potent medium. Exploring the leverage for intelligent self- transformation that movies provide, we gain tremendous strength, interior sureness. This leverage is pay dirt to the — development of our higher attributes: intuition, whole thinking, the productive use of all our var- nondual ied intelligences. We glean ourselves from the best images and forms ingested. What we see in those characters we most admire, we appreciate from the exact qualities within. Yet movies are often overlooked or denigrated, considered part of popular, as opposed to "passive" entertainment — — erudite, culture. I contend that film's mass appeal is one of its most posi- tive characteristics, making it an ideal vehicle for furthering personal growth. After all, look what happened to culture and universal literacy after the printing press made books widely available. Myths, fables, fairy tales, the parables of scripture are not elitist teachers. Rather these are populist tools, timelessly encouraging human dignity and growth. The same is true of movies. For those intellectuals who hold pop-culture in contempt, for all those whose ennui is too well-developed, psychiatrist Dr. Thomas Szasz's com-Reel Power: Mine "The Gold" in Movies 25 ment applies: "Boredom is the feeling that everything is a waste of time; serenity is that nothing is." While certain films are obviously richer, more positive, and creatively than others, when we mine a movie for its gold, far from wasting our time, its story may enrich us intelligent immeasurably. Properly watched, motion pictures give us more than merely a few hours carefree respite from our day-to-day involvements. Films can be consciousness-raising tools; their stories are personal mentors that lessen fear or illu- minate the love, virtue, and wholeness already present in our lives. For these purposes, the best films, however crude or otherwise elementary their themes, also reinforce the real- ity principle. From the reality principle we learn to grapple with life not avoid it. "Everything is waiting to be hal- lowed" by us. This is one mystical message, pure gold, hidden in all valuable stories. — To See or Not To See People frequently ask how to approach films overloaded with gratuitous sex, violence, or negativity (however they define these terms individually). One friend wondered, Suppose I'm out for the evening with ten pals all wanting to see The Texas Chainsaw Massacre or even a fine film like Bugsy. I'm forced to go along. How best to watch these? Moving pictures are encoded plays of consciousness, codes and patterns about reality. While it is not my intent to censor anyone or proselytize, the method in this book can help us discern the value of whatever reality-codes we're ingesting.26 Marsha Sinetar Movies seem to me like books or people. We're rarely "forced" to spend time with them against our will. We read our favorite books with different purposes in mind (e.g., or horrific relief, etc.) and can for diversion, comedic see any movie for varied reasons as well, sociability being — — one. With my method, we can watch movies while keeping an eye on their overall humanity or philosophy of life. We know what it's like to put down a boring book or one with overly explicit, to us distasteful, violent or sex- ual text. Putting a book down is, frankly, our existential adult choice. Common experience also tells us what it's like to visit with a friend or family member who's severely depressed, or mentally ill, and whose absorption with the dark, underbelly of life is excessive — perhaps, to us, un- wholesome. As individuals, we elect how involved and enmeshed we'll get with their thinking. Similarly, we must take notice if we regularly enjoy im- printing the images of depressed, depressing movies on our minds. It is beyond the scope of either this book or my intentions to spell out a finite, moral blueprint for your movie viewing. Not every movie is useful to further spir- itual growth; not every movie need be seen. Who watches what is an issue bound up with world- view, one's overall life posture. In Crimes and Misdemeanors, one of Woody Allen's char- on just this theme. Two brothers, a rabbi and a doctor, are arguing about how best to handle a fam- ily crisis. The rabbi reduces their battle to their differing acters reflects world-view, saying something like, We've been having this argument since we were kids. It boils down to the fact that you see no hope or moral order in the world, and I believe that the universe is full of moral order, love, and forgiveness.27 Reel Power: Mine ''The Gold" in Movies I personally immerse myself in movies whose filmmak- ers honestly believe (and support my belief) in a universe laced through and through with hope, moral order, love, and forgiveness. You can use this book's method to observe or your own world-view, to determine what you will mind's storehouse of images. welcome into your won't Movies tell us what to think about ourselves. A collab- orative art form, films represent the ideas and artistry of in order multiple psyches. We must select movies wisely not to be cast down by the imaginations of a creative team who may not be artists of the highest caliber or intention. This seems a matter for individual discernment. When the psychic projections of moviemakers uplift us, we are renewed, and we turn toward life in fresh, sur- prising ways. Whether we realize it or not, art presents us with a way to organize experience, especially as it re- lates to inner growth and problem-solving. An architect I know examines a movie's sets whenever she starts a new — — — building project. A socialite studies its costumes. A recently divorced man selects films about starting over in mid-life. There is no end to the novel information we get from film. ones we may avoid or con- Movies ask us deep questions tinually ask ourselves; they give us a chance to forget our problems while, unconsciously, we keep working on them. — Given film's transforming powers, it seems time to con- sider the mind of those who make our movies. What do filmmakers hope to teach us? What are their values, vi- sions, or inner strivings and disturbances? Do they merely crave our money? Frank Capra is not alone in wanting more. He gives us vivid, clear examples of ourselves at our best — even as we are "only human." Of his own vision, Capra once said: My films will explore the heart not with logic, but with compassion ... I will deal with the little man's28 Marsha Sinetar doubts, his causes, his loss of faith in himself, in his neighbor, in his God. And I will show the overcom- ing of doubts, the courageous renewal of faith I . . . And will remind the little man that his mission on earth is to advance spiritually. 4 . . Capra's vision was large-minded. Even lesser intellects and films contribute mightily to our varied hearts, our doubts, overcomings, and spiritual ascensions. Reel Power: Active, Conscious, Transformational Viewing Singly and collectively we have undervalued cinema as one of our era's liveliest storytellers about our own hu- manity. Unfortunately, we've inflated film's importance in other realms — like trend or opinion-setting or its various escapist options. People often attend movies to withdraw from reality, not to find clues about Ultimate Reality. Mo- tion pictures have become, for some, a kind of junk food empty, even toxic to life's healthiest impulses. When, for instance, we mindlessly watch films or television, our hyp- notic state absorbs the banal and superficial. These images corrode our imagination, draw us progressively downward into a herd mentality, or distance us from our actualizing self. To nourish daily life, the deeper things of spirit of- ten require active concentration, steady chewing-up, and thorough assimilation. — Newspapers frequently report that teenagers are occa- sionally so overstimulated by a film's violence that they break out in fights directly after (or even during) the show. We hear of adults who believe that in order to live the good life they must be as rich or physically attractive as their favorite stars. They've never defined "the good life" for29 Reel Power: Mine "The Gold" in Movies themselves, coveting instead those affectations that prom- ise fulfillment by means of a sculpted physique, a Rolls Royce, or a customized kitchen. Comparing themselves to a Madonna or Stallone they feel inadequate. The popu- lar, oft-repeated motto, "A woman can never be too thin or too rich," bears this out. People cannot digest the idea that inner joy has little to do with good looks or wealth when they feed steadily on false ideas — those that divert attention from what is decent and fine within. To find the mystical message in film we must have an active, discriminating focus. Related to the "to see or not to see" question, movies seem most helpful productive, wholesome growth) (i.e., for our when they raise aware- ness about what it means to be authentically ourselves and fully human. Put in this frame, it's easy enough to see why a te- diously grizzly Texas Chainsaw Massacre or the truly point- have "no raison d'etre" (to quote Halliwell's summation on the latter), but why a Godfather or Citizen Kane or Bugsy (with their depth and complex portrayals of human vice and torment) shed light on the demonic side of our experience. Again, not every movie intends to be a spiritual masterpiece. Some start out as mental junk. So what? Not every shred of food we eat is good for us, but still we consciously crave our share of grease and sweets now and then, and come away dizzy with delight just for the fun of it, for the sociability, the diversion. If we lack dis- cernment, if fat and sugar are all we seek (and all we eat), ah well, then that's another matter. Nature deals justly with us: as we sow, so shall we reap. If we identify with the worst in life, that's exactly what we get. So too with mental food the more nutritious our fare, the better. less Friday the Thirteenth series — — If we find in a story's content or in its symbolic cues and energies information about that which is sublime or30 Marsha Sinetar struggling in us (because we are alive, have "is-ness" — sheer being) then instead of being exploited by films, we'll align ourselves with the richest messages emanating from a screenwriter's consciousness. We can look to characters, to dialogue, and to the story's animating essence (its spirit, its attributes of virtue or hu- manity) to discover our latent courage or worth. Instead of unconsciously swallowing idealized images of popu- larly valued items or fragments of appearance, matters of we can "single out the best" human conduct and redeeming characteristics that we can find. 5 The most no- taste, ble acts and high, redeeming values in a movie align us with whatever creative intelligence exists in us. This pair- ing or alignment of spiritual projections ours and the moves us forward, however slightly, into moviemakers' restored relationship with our own animating essence. — — Stimulating Love, Virtue, and Breath Watching films in this fashion, it helps to think of our- selves as detectives, searching for The Good (defined by Kierkegaard as one thing in its essence, and like love — — the same thing in each of its diverse expressions). We pre- serve and build our power as sentient, responsible, and creatively intelligent persons when we we find, study, and on what are called Being values such as joy, • follow the love (agape) in a movie: reflect courage, truth, honesty, faithfulness, playfulness, pro- ductivity, and creativity; • follow its virtues: we identify and notice whatever fun- damental purity or life-affirming power story and in us; — exists in aReel Power: Mine "The Gold" in Movies 31 our own breath: we stay alert to our physical and emotional reactions to the story (and all its vari- • follow ables, like characters, imagery, or dialogue) so as to understand what inspires or depletes us. Later chapters develop each of these three points. For now suffice it to say that movies mirror us and invite us to go beyond the obvious. Their themes and images can pow- erfully equip us to see ourselves as we are at our worst, and at our best, or help us invent new scripts about who and lasting enjoyment we hope to be. Our power comes from finding the enduring value of truths in a movie and using our discoveries to further our growth as per- sons. Like classic fables and especially- the simpler fairy tales, this modern-day electronic art need only be sincere to — — touch us. Moreover, each story moves each person slightly differently. As individuals, we have unique psychological and spir- wage if we would experience spiritual itual battles to health and wholeness. There is gold in almost all stories, if we stay alert enough to the prospecting process to dig "Gold" means whatever profits us, usually that which is of our spiritual self. This is the hidden, mysti- cal message. As one ancient text put it, gold is "light, life, immortality ... to 'refine' this 'gold' is to burn away from our spiritual Self the dross of all that is not Self. Hence it is a 'golden' cord by which [we] human puppets are rightly it out. guided." 6 If we link some secret, holy remnant of ourselves to some shine in a story, we can better accept and activate that shred of self toward healthier expression. Our iden- tifications and projections help us locate our productive or generous traits and, eventually, we may consciously opt to exercise these. When our connections with a story have been honest, after a film is over, what was previously32 Marsha Sinetar our unconscious projection frequently rises to conscious awareness. Our angers or annoyances, our dreams or con- versations, may spotlight what we need to do or want to be to polish up a small corner of ourselves. Here is where prudent, resourceful interplay of intellect and will becomes Perhaps at first we simply focus our attention on one trait or a single unexpressed need. Our focus of attention is light. As Haverstock (Joel Mc- Crea) warns in Foreign Correspondent, "Hang on to your lights, they're the only lights left in the world!" In time, we improve an attitude or behavior in the area under examina- tion. This is precisely how self-respect and wholeness are enhanced: by living all the traits, values, and actions we know have worth. Those who crave optimal psychological health are self- creators. They are hunters, unearthing language, symbols, and meaningful contexts by which to discover, rediscover, and reveal the darkness and the sweetness of their own souls. They express themselves creatively by giving authen- tic outer shape to whatever they sense to be valid within this, while sustaining the reality that they are imperfect and flawed. Stories in film (precisely like those in books and the preliterate, oral tradition of folktales) illuminate our shad- owy, unrealized world. These give us ways and means to understand what we are avoiding, what we need or want critical. to be and do next. Effectively Using the Mind's Riches The truly intelligent are full of common goodness and prac- tical resourcefulness. As a matter of course, their minds transcend problems, playfully enjoy the problem-solving process. Such people engage fully with life, they fear less and love more. By "truly intelligent" I don't mean simplyReel Power: Mine "The Gold" in Movies 33 having a high IQ (as traditionally measured by standard tests) but rather having cultivated and integrated all one's intelligences: logic and intuition, for instance, rational and "irrational" faculties like dreams or hunches. 7 With our whole mind, we resolve paradoxes, or figure a way out of trouble when, at first, we were sure there was no way out. All these advantages, and more, are but facets of normal, creative intelligence. We love 007, Sherlock Holmes, The Thin Man, and Agatha Christie's Miss Marple and Hercule Poirot because, in part, they model our creative, resourceful brightness. The greater our awareness of the riches of our own mental capacities, the more effortlessly and spontaneously we serve our own and others' interests Otherwise, we're s miserably entrenched, stupid really — stuck decade after decade in fear or some hopeless dilemma, unable to extri- the lopsided, fragmented cate ourselves. Unintelligence results in fear, anger, victimization, use of our mind abuse, the denial of hypocrisies. This seems the primary plague of humankind. — — In Defending Your Life, Daniel (Albert Brooks) is a bor- derline case. He's on hold between life and death while days on earth are being scrutinized for signs of in- telligent life. His examiners represent the universe, which wants Daniel to have developed his mind's powers enough to move on and contribute to the next phase of cosmic his Bob Diamond (Rip Torn) is Daniel's defender. He ex- life. plains how inordinate fear prohibits evolutionary growth and cripples the mind: . . . being from earth as you are, and using as little of your brain as you do, your life has pretty much been devoted to dealing with fear. Everyone on earth deals with fear. That's what little brains do.34 Marsha Sinetar . . . fear is like a giant fog. It sits on your brain and blocks everything: real feelings, true happiness, real joy. They can't get through that fog. But you lift it and, Buddy, you're in for the ride of your life. propose that the "ride of our life" is essentially spirit- effective use of our mind's highest attributes: whole perception, creativity, intuition, honesty and compassion, courage, good humor. 8 All these unseen, spiritual faculties flow, synergistically, from our mental realms. These alone transmute fear into love, and help us I ual — dependent on the turn the negative aspects of life into more positive expe- riences and outcomes. The stories and characters of films (and naturally some more than others) inform our intel- about its own divine, creative nature. This must be why scripture warns us to "cast down every vain imagina- anything that would take us away from our own tion" good. The movies mentioned in this book demonstrate that it lect — and entirely reasonable to expect to find infor- mation about wholesome values and qualities in popular entertainment. To achieve this, we need storytellers and filmmakers with deep spiritual insight and elevated levels is desirable of awareness. Stories like Dances with Wolves, Awakenings, and Gandhi illustrate such filmmakers exist and that box- office success and inspiring stories are not alien to each other. Nevertheless, a movie that touches us profoundly may — a tender manner- some softening of anger or enchantment of choice — so easily not appeal to critics. Something little ism, a bright color, a character's change of mind, speaks to our hearts because, ultimately, our hearts are rich with untapped virtue. In Do the Right Thing Spike Lee repeated a motif — three good friends, dressed in white, seated casually in front of aReel Power: Mine "The Gold" in Movies 35 vibrant, poppy-colored wall. They're chewing the fat. Lee's choice of vivid earth tones, his cinematic kindness toward the ordinary — — the sweet familiarity of old pals sharing sparked warmth and nostalgia in me, summoning fond memories of places and friends, time spent talking of nothing and feeling at home in the world. The upshot of these uneventful times is indeed profound. Lee touches nerves of love, revives affections long forgotten. This is a gift from his heart to ours. No small matter, spiritual time — in the spiritual scheme of things. "Watch over your heart with all diligence," cautions Proverbs 4:23, "for from it flow the springs of life." Our very life takes shape from seemingly inconsequential offer- ings. When I saw Emma's Shadow9 (a fairy tale for people of all ages, about a little girl's rite of passage into compassionate love), one silent, visual moment at the end of the film Emma's reunion with her friend Malthe painful compassion in me. — — stirred deep, Emma puts her small child's forehead on Maltha's adult brow and leans on him as if for life itself. To me, her gesture communicated the highest order of what is termed agape (benevolent, self-sacrificing, vulnerable, compassionate love). helpless giving-up of self in love Emma's posture — suggests that — her this love continually surrounds us. Agape fuels our life. This love is gold. It's found right in front of us, where we don't often think to look. A movie's visual nuances may remind us of our ex- isting virtues or show us that some essential fragment of ourselves awaits rebirth through our identifications, choices, and commitments. The greater our ability to use film (instead of being used by it), the more likely it is our identification will provide further unseen steps by which we edge toward the robust inner health we want.[My grandpa] says most people nowadays are run by fear: fear of what they eat, fear of what they drink, fear of their jobs, their futures, fear of their health. They're scared to save money and scared to spend it — [His pet aversion] is the people who commercialize on fear, you know — they scare you to death so that they can sell you something you don't need — So he sort of taught us to do what we want to do, and not be afraid of anything — Alice You Can't Take It with YouADOPT NEW STORIES AND STATES OF MIND When [a movie is good it is] the result of some inner belief which is so strong that you show what you want in spite of a stupid story. 1 — Jean Renoir As Director Jean Renoir tells us, pictures are about a Our task, as spiritually inclined viewers, is state of mind. to locate, then study, movies that advance us as whole per- sons, or — as discussed, conversely — notice if we prefer perverseness (and thereby cultivate despairing, negative attitudes). All good stories, in almost any film, can improve self-understanding or show us the next steps we need to take to reach new levels of development, spotlighting the potential of our hidden strengths and values. In Chariots of Fire, Eric Liddell, a Scottish missionary, uses his running prowess to glorify God. During the trials of the 1924 Olympics, Liddell realizes that the 100-meter heat, in which he is scheduled to compete, Sunday — his Sabbath or day of rest. falls on a Liddell consciously chooses to drop out of the race. A stunned British Olympic Committee (which includes the Crown Prince of England) gathers itself in an immense, ornate ballroom to persuade 3738 Marsha Sinetar change his mind. The Committee cannot believe that their strongest and favorite runner would pull out of the race for so trivial a reason as his faith. But the young Eric to missionary's mind is made up: I'm afraid there are [no two ways out of this] ... I that's final God made countries and God makes kings and the rules cannot run on the Sabbath and — Those rules say the Sabbath by which they govern 2 is His and I for one intend to keep it that way. Just in time another athlete interrupts and resolves the stalemate by saying he'll switch places with Eric. As the Committee leaves the meeting room, the Duke of Suther- land gives thanks that Eric stuck to his guns: The "lad" ... is a true man of principle and a true ath- lete. His speed is a mere extension of his life, its force. We sought to sever his running from himself. 3 Watching Chariots of Fire we too intuitively know that Liddell's values, virtues, and his vocation (who he is as a particular person; how he lives his uniqueness) are tightly interwoven strands of his power. Liddell's conscious choice not to run against his values adds weight and credibility — the affirmative drive within our healthiest impulses — to his vitality as a human being. This "vitality of self" is a key to opening our inner eyes and thereby moving incrementally toward wholeness. Nuts serves as another example of the way a popular, quite ordinary, film might encourage growth. Nuts tells the story of a bright, powerful, and confused woman caught in a tangle of unproductive choices. The heroine, Clau- dia Draper (Barbra Streisand), is a call girl. She's accused of murder and struggling to stay sane amidst contami- nated, mixed messages from people who say they love herAdopt New Stories and States of Mind 39 but who continually undermine her humanity and wel- sexual abuse by one fare. Claudia's painful childhood — parent, alternating possessive, toxic "love" and willful ne- — disrupts her stability. Claudia has by the other never learned to communicate so that others hear her. This glect isolation, in part, keeps her half-crazed. and by all outward appearances suc- a fugitive from life. Her role as a prostitute seems a handy metaphor for her life's ills. She shuts her eyes to her pain, to the illu- sory world of illicit sex, counterfeit power, and superficial affluence. Not surprisingly Claudia is enraged. Film critic Roger Ebert described her as, "so filled with anger that the specific targets hardly matter; the whole world is her Intelligent, chic, cessful, Claudia is nevertheless a fake target." — 4 Perhaps we identify with Claudia's frustration. Only the spiritually immature expect inner peace without first engaging with, and reconciling, old simmering conflicts. Until Claudia deals truthfully with her gut-wrenching until she effectively communicates her sup- early abuses — pressed rage to her betrayers — adult joy, love, and a meaningful life will elude her. So it is with us. The movie could help those with unfinished childhood business come to terms with their own next steps. Nuts is a slick courtroom drama with somewhat card- board characters and a predictable plot. Most of us would not call it a "fine film." Nevertheless Nuts can be a decent, constructive story for those adults in re- covery, whose personal history matches Claudia's. Nuts underscores the obvious: inner development precedes all satisfactory resolution of outer conflict. Claudia's solu- tionsmay well pinpoint our own life'sglaring psychological assignments. To gain tmintelligence, our fulfill- — ment as adults we too must cultivate skillful means appropriate actions by which to acknowledge, then —40 Marsha Sinetar cast out, personal demons. This movie's merit is its fairy tale instruction: true inner peace is costly, is no cheap grace. Like all helpful tales, Nuts reinforces the idea that is an integral part of every life, a key to en- during happiness, and that we do well not to avoid it. struggle Nuts is a fairy tale for grown-ups. The movie emphasizes what Freud and, later, child psychologist Bruno Bettelheim (among others), referred to as the reality principle: Fairy tales teach youngsters to live in reality. They illuminate some- times viciously — the dangers of — unreality. Odd as it seems, this basic lesson of childhood is simultaneously an ele- mentary spiritual principle, a primal comprehension of our heart. Any movie, "fine film" or crass, that underscores this precept helps us grow more fully human — if we know how to see. Using Film as Fairy Tales Bruno Bettelheim's research on the value of fairy tales im- measurably increased my interest in both fairy tales and in film as resources for healthy adult growth. Bettelheim suggests that the best stories (i.e., those proving most pro- ductive to our long-range welfare) teach children that outer success alone cannot quiet their inner anxieties. Children, and adults too, hunger for information about what, other than sheer physical power (which most people lack) or power over others (which almost no one has) is needed to triumph in life: Fairy tales suggest that it is less impressive deeds which count ... an inner development must take place for the hero to gain true autonomy. Independence and transcending childhood requires personality develop-Adopt New Stories and States of Mind 41 ment, not becoming better at a particular task or doing battle with external difficulties. 5 In this era of unbridled anxiety over economic, social, and personal uncertainty, adults can use film to gain their bearings just as children use fairy tales: as tools to build higher, more complex levels of development; as catalysts, organizers, or soothers of their mind's irrational processes; and as teachers instructing them to face life's harsh truths. Who among us viewing Bugsy, Power, Wall Street, or Re- versal of Fortune (all diverse commentaries about wealthy, yet emotionally twisted, adults) doesn't grasp the fact that affluence, leisure time, physical attractiveness, and even superior intelligence are, by themselves, insufficient factors for harnessing either substantive gratification, creativity, or lasting joy? Fairy tales — and film as fairy tale — stress that hard work, perseverance, and human virtue are requisites for lasting personal fulfillment. Simple, instructive stories (like Dances with Wolves or Christy Brown's autobiography, My Left Foot) are spiritu- ally uplifting fairy tales (if not something larger, like myth) when they portray our dark sides and inadequacies and show us how to live with or transcend these. Seeing the film based on Christy Brown's life story or the more recent Awakenings, we feel, and somehow learn, that every human spirit is freed by its own inner depths: healthy, hopeful at- titudes, compelling vision, perseverance, good will, a love of life, or the striving to transmute misfortune into per- sonal triumph. Such movies invite us to rejoin our own dynamic interiority and show another vital attribute inner power that each of us possesses. — — Recently when addressing a college audience, I read a short excerpt from My Left Foot to emphasize that opti- mism is an inherent factor in true spirituality. The passage, in Brown's own words, described his joyful liberation upon42 Marsha Sinetar finally learning to write ter — and type — with his left foot. Af- my lecture, an audience member told me that his young, severely arthritic son had been tremendously inspired by viewing, and re-viewing, the movie. Said the father, "The movie was good therapy for him. During his darkest hours it gave him hope and courage." Directly following him was a woman who confided that simply hearing the reading of Brown's remarks shocked her into realizing that she could face (indeed, she wanted to face) her own obstacles: lack of formal schooling and a strong belief that she was "too old" to try anything new. Such desire is spiritual — our impulse to live as fully as we were meant to. Both the woman and the young arthritic boy were learning the reality principle from a movie. Through Fantasy We Study Reality Although there is no clear-cut line separating myth, fa- ble, and fairy tales, the fairy tale tends to be gentler, more optimistic, and fairly obvious in stating that our higher hu- manity requires us to meet reality as it is and as we are, right now. 6 Even the silliest films can open our eyes in this fashion and reinforce our good intentions. For example, Home Alone is a comedy about a boy whose parents ab- sentmindedly leave him home when they rush alone off to their Paris vacation. The 8-year-old finds he must protect his family home from two dim-witted burglars. He confronts his fear in an uncomplicated, hilarious way, af- ter accepting the do-or-die nature of his circumstance. His comprehension hits him all at once. We see this mere twig of a boy rush down the hall into the bathroom to cope with his abandonment. His first (apparently favorite and much repeated) solu- tion is to spray his father's deodorant under his innocent, — —Adopt New Stories and States of Mind 43 hairless little armpits. He seems to get a squirt of courage each time he borrows this symbol of masculinity from his father's adult reality. He eventually outwits his adversaries with various tricks and ploys, all artfully constructed to obstruct the two moronic robbers. The fact that all these antics are unreal actually aids our absorption of universal truths about reality. A story's im- probability often ensures receptivity to its deeper ideas. Through artful fantasies, we allow practical messages into our awareness. Too-realistic portrayals rob us of much needed filtering and inner "play." When a group of children were surveyed about why they liked Home Alone, they said the story reminded them of times when they were left alone to fend for themselves. it's possible They seemed to get a literal message that " 7 to defend your house if someone breaks in." Adults enjoy the film when their minds sense deeper universal truths in . it. . . As in Nuts, Home Alone repeats the reality principle: the key to true success is a character's inner development (e.g., wit, boldness, fortitude, etc.) and his or her ability to face at people life's challenges. Surely if we look around us we observe we admire in our families or communities — — this rule in action. More than any outer accomplishment in Home Alone (the house, as it turns out, is completely trashed by the boy's so- lutions), the little hero's subjective enhancements are what we visualize or borrow for ourselves much as children play with or use their parents' possessions — like deodorant — to reinforce their growth or their will to survive. We adults carry small children around in us, as us. If we would be authentic, autonomous, and fully functioning, we must develop these younger energies or awarenesses. Generally this means facing our fears and standing up to life's challenges. Movies are a readily available helpmate in this ongoing process of becoming. This is particularly44 Marsha Sinetar true when we know ourselves to be, in the main, effective persons, headed toward the upper reaches of a produc- Then we pursue wholesome adventure and want stories that further our advancement as capable tive, creative life. persons. Most adults experience what some pop-psychologists now call our "inner child." As we restore our highest spir- itual faculties, bring to life our vital interior processes, our creative gifts, and our unseen impulses for love and life, our mind hungers for the stimulation of fantasy. One rea- son that scriptures like the Holy Bible, the Bhagavad-Gita, and other sacred writings are enduring life companions is that these convey truth through vivid stories, earthy parables, and dramatic conflicts. New Stories for New Powers As a child, I loved to play with the workings of my mind. Early on, I discovered that thoughts were things, if un- seen. They shifted about and could be directed. Thoughts — the plastic, perme- seemed to me a malleable substance able links by which to construct daily life itself. My mind could substitute one idea for another (just like exchang- ing colorful baseball cards with my friends, but invisibly). I regularly traded in fearsome pictures for bright, engaging ones. Thoughts replaced direct experience and then some- how produced it. (Later in life, the adage "Whatever you focus on grows stronger in your life" partially explained this phenomenon.) I didn't realize until adulthood that mental play let me create new stories for myself, rehearse much-hoped-for but untried ways by which I wanted to live my life. I populated my mental world with imaginary and very real heroes and heroines. I created a loose, imprecise composite of desirableAdopt New Stories and States of Mind traits, attitudes, and outcomes. Admittedly 45 my parents' vir- tues (which were plentiful) conditioned my ambitions and perspective. — Although our home had its share of serious problems ill health, for instance, and both financial and emotional moral and ethical excellence was not lacking. upheavals Virtue, in one form or another, was a key, central value in our small family circle, as was creativity; and I craved these — diverse expressions more than food. From a wider mix of information and observances than my immediate surroundings could supply, I adopted a wider mix of future possibilities. Quite consciously I used books, movies, the lives of family friends and self-told sto- ries to add hope, new ideas, and a larger .context to my own life. (No doubt all children's natural tendency is to use their minds in this inventive way and youngsters with "street sense" all the more. They would probably manage more beautifully if not coerced away from their best instincts by the socialization process or by unthinking adults and — institutions.) I I didn't like the tales my parents' lives told, although loved them dearly. Moreover, hearing their stories — — watching them live I despaired. I wanted more life (for them and for myself), not things necessarily (and yes, I also yearned for things), but actual livingness: joy, a sphere . of creative authority or vital presence least — freedom in what of talent. I and . . — for me at sensed were my special areas What healthy person, especially in childhood, doesn't want all this? I bridled at the helplessness of youth, all the while, energetically concocting ways to competently cut new patterns from the cloth of my life. This was bold, serious work and it kept both inner and outer demons at bay. As I describe, in this and later chapters, after gain- ing a certain high-quality soundness of emotional health46 Marsha Sinetar (somewhere along the road to self-realization), it is entirely perhaps imperative to reinvent ourselves and life's circumstances for the better. Here is when fresh sto- ries help us shape the life we prefer. Ones that we create or ancient tales that we revise for our current needs seem possible — — equally useful. My childhood's mental play — admittedly at times born of desperation and at other times of joyful self-discovery — proved to me that stories unfetter life. Carolyn G. Heilbrun comes at all this better than any other author I've read. She says that it's only through stories that we learn to make up our lives: What matters is that lives do not serve as models; only stories do that. And it is a hard thing to make up stories to live by. We can only retell and live by the sto- we have read or heard. We live our lives through texts. They may be read, or chanted, or experienced ries electronically, or come to us, like the murmurings of our mothers, telling us what conventions demand. Whatever their form or medium, these stories have formed us all; they are what we must use to make new fictions, new narratives. 8 Elementary themes, not necessarily complex or serious drama, can transport us from over-intellectualized, lin- ear, unfeeling states to a softer experience of our shared human condition. Even the shortest story brings insight when viewed with objective awareness. Some idea in the author's mind communicates with some need or inquiry within ours. The Nescafe TV commercial I think — is — called "The Blind Date," a picture essay of a leathery, middle-aged cowboy who's "starting over." The story depicts a mature man's boyishness as he prepares for a date. In the openingAdopt New Stories and States of Mind 47 scenes he's polishing his boots and self-critically examining his weathered face in the mirror. His adolescent daughter enters his room, bearing comfort: a cup of steaming hot Nescafe, of course. Now roles reverse — she's his consoler and empathic cheerleader. The generations unite. Appar- ently when it comes to romance, all of us ride around in the same embarrassed boat. As a result of seeing this two-minute essay on the awk- wardness of dating (and the blessing in caffeine), I imagine many middle-aged, newly divorced or widowed people remind themselves that, once again, they must sustain a kind of youthful self-consciousness in order to satisfy With insight, self-study, and ongoing reflection, practically any story contributes its morsel to our scramble of useful ideas. Out of tidbits and trifles, we invent a more abundant life. This their higher needs for mature relationships. too is spiritual. Incubating Your Own Creative Enterprise As a young adult I persisted with sober playfulness at this restructuring of personal reality.* But many people espe- cially adults — are severely handicapped in — this matter of making up new stories for themselves. They think small and blandly. They are unsure of themselves. They have been educated away from their creative impulses. Like Claudia Draper, they can't separate fact from fiction. They live for the approval of others or have never "played" with The insights from these musings led to my formulation of Positive Structuring, the method I've outlined in my book, Developing a 21st-century Mind. 9 Briefly, Positive Structuring is a way to alter one's inner and outer realities, improve life for the better. This way is simple but not always easy. The technique has three broad phases but few other rules, and I used the broad outlines of Positive Structuring in designing the protocol of Chapter Seven's activities. This method seems an effective tool for personal change as it allows us to create new stories for the enhanced life we want.48Marsha Sinetar reality.Perhaps their inner world of spontaneous, strong feeling — hunches, dreams, — frightens them. Whatever bits the cause, their minds lack elasticity. By contrast, healthfully creative individuals of all ages and types find great, easy enrichment in their own di- verse ideas, visualizations, and mix of experiential and constructive projects. By this rich combination, artists, en- trepreneurs, gifted scientists, and probably even the "av- erage" guy down the street invent their next steps and life-solutions. Such people are, to me, spiritually gifted — especially when otherwise stable and effective. Film is a perfect vehicle for the gestation process re- quired of all such creative enterprise. Movies are but pas- sageways to our own visual, reflective, and nonconscious experiences. Cinema is fast moving, like our minds. It ini- tiates a reverie of sorts not to be confused with passivity — or hypnosis. Movies speak in pictures, symbols, fantasy — this is the language of our minds. Our daydreams, dreams and any reading, research, or turnings of ideas along a given theme let us combine not only film but any art (and all related data) into an unconscious incubation stew. The richer this melange, the more likely that we'll produce a creative synthesis of hoped-for answers. at night, Playing With Ideas and Images Many people intuitively receive much food for thought from their film-viewing. They do so without conscious on effort. Almost all my friends admit that movies help them unwind, television, video, or in theaters explore or invent answers, and identify meaningful per- sonal goals. For instance, one entrepreneur I know scoffed when thinking that I meant only "fine film" enables self- improvement: — —Adopt New Stories and States of Mind 49 That phrase "fine film" is limiting and elitist. Any movie can awaken something special in almost any that supposed cultural waste- person. Even TV land helps me. Every Sunday night, I watch reruns of that series Quincy or I look at one of the Sunday night movies to — — get set mentally for the upcoming hectic workweek. I can't articulate exactly what film I need to watch, or why, but I know it when I see it. Movies stimu- late my creativity. I watch them to regain a particular state of mind or to re-create an attitude, say courage or boldness. It's time to acknowledge how powerful this medium is in all its variations. A husband and wife team work together as business partners. They regularly save Friday nights for their movie viewing. They go out alone (minus children or friends) to an early, five o'clock show, then have a quiet dinner at a restaurant. Their habit is sacrosanct. She says, We choose movies that we both like and that stimulate our talks together afterward. This is how we unwind, get ourselves ready for the weekend or return to in- timacy and romance after a competitive, pressured week. Our friends know better than to ask us out, or intrude, on our Friday night movie. A young man who described himself as "in recovery" uses films to learn about his next steps in therapy. He said, Therapy taught me to pay close attention when I'm moved by stories, art, or a chance remark. So, for instance, when Crocodile Dundee affected me deeply made me feel simultaneously safe and invigorated I reflected on it. Dundee seems to be an idealized — — version of the father I wanted, but never had.50 Marsha Sinetar I saw I want to develop realistic aspects of the traits he [Dundee] had: an ability to be available to others, courage, self-confidence, and self-protection skills. It's a kiddie-flick. So what? I learn from everything. Another young person, shy and inhibited as a teenager, told me she used movies to improve her social adroitness. By studying movies, she taught herself how to act on dates, at parties, and on job interviews. Insights pop into awareness when we take time to day- dream. Such reveries let our mind incubate many possible aspects of our objectives. Watching movies is one way to activate the positive irrationality of our unconscious. Films legitimize our own fanciful, futuristic, or improbable sce- narios. They also provide a socially sanctioned way of what friends call zoning out — our dreamy, soft engagement with both our conscious and unconscious faculties. If, say, after researching a goal as best we can, we put aside this initial, quite logical task and do something en- tirely different, like read, swim, sleep, watch a film, then largely subterranean mental functions go to work. These combine rich assortments of this or that piece of a pos- sible answer. While we are occupied in some other way, our hidden mind fits together diverse fragments of our puzzle. From this simmering subconscious amalgam comes insight. Many men say that they get their most useful ideas when they're shaving — not when straining to find elu- sive answers. The inventor Tesla discovered a self-starting motor as he recited one of Goethe's poems and, simulta- neously, watched a sunset. Somehow the combination of hearing the poem's rhythmic phrasing coupled with seeing a red sphere settle into the horizon was a sufficient ad- mixture to trigger in Tesla's "logical-mathematical, spatial linguistic and musical mind" a blended synthesis that re-Adopt New Stories and States of Mind 51 10 The Nobel prizewinning physicist Richard Feynman thought "synesthetically" whenever he had an abstract problem to solve: suited in his invention. had a scheme, which I still use today, when some- body is explaining something that I'm trying to under- the mathemati- stand: I keep making up examples cians [come in with a terrific theorem] and they're I . all excited. . . As they're telling me the conditions ... I construct something [in my mind] which fits all the conditions. 11 My own way, which I've described in my book Devel- My best answers oping a Ust-Century Mind, matches this. come when I'm looking the other way. I like to visualize, hear, feel, — from across — as a way of constructing answers. and touch diverse bits of data varied disciplines I create a lavish mosaic of input and information. I build composites of ideas. I actually construct tangible projects (i.e., I remodel rooms, gardens, tear out walls in homes, etc.) as one favored way of manipulating abstract concepts, giving them concreteness. This activity somehow structures solutions in It is my mind. usual for one such project to stimulate multiple understandings, again crossing over numerous disciplines and issues. Stories on film are a perfect adjunct to my me- andering, idea-hatching process. Movies let me order and synthesize a kaleidoscopic assortment of unconsciously stored material. Dr. Vera John-Steiner's research into cre- ative thinking clarifies this phenomenon: . . . the thought activity of greatest importance is the pulling together into a whole — the synthesis — of bits and fragments of experience, which the thinker had previously known as separate. 1252 Marsha Sinetar Perhaps because of its animation, sound, color, special effects, and seemingly endless representations of reality, movies provoke imagination and also stir up, then sort, the symbolic codes and files within our mind. As noted, film's picture-language matches our own unconscious one. A lovely alchemy between logic and illogic results, again, if we use him selectively and with prudent, creatively in- telligent judgment. The Rig Veda states that mind is the swiftest of birds. Movies help our mental processes soar as they are meant to. To determine how films have guided your imagination, ask yourself • How have films helped me regain lost confidence or hope and what types of movies accomplish this? When have movies reminded me of the reality principle? • What films, heroes and heroines, or types of stories have mentored or guided me toward my best self and away from that in me which is destructive, hurtful, unfriendly to life? • When have movies given me lasting lessons or some positive shift of mind and heart or enabled me to relin- quish something in a way that, ultimately, opens me up to a larger, finer quality of life? • When have relationships in movies taught me some- thing about my own human connections, my life in community, my availability or, perhaps, lack of inti- macy with others? The Impulse to Transcend Life's Limits More than seeking solace for my childhood's absurdities and losses; more than wanting freedom from any restraints inherited from what has been termed a "female destiny";Adopt New Stories and States of Mind 53 more than needing to make money or win friends and influence people, I struggled — even in adolescence — with an artist's press for self-expression. Life, Truth, and God were unfolding in my skull. Does not this same im- pulse exist in each and every human skull? 13 Are we not all artists of a sort — straining to transcend life's limited forms and obstacles to express something fragile, lovely, and mysterious? Nikos Kazantzakis compares the force and power of this a great Cry which we call urge to a "gigantic breath God." 14 He says that all humanity is tormented by this Cry: "Were it not for this, our world would 'rot into inertness — " and sterility.' 15 It sometimes happens, especially if we've been hurt or oppressed, that we suppress our bid for life. For instance, — some children and adults feel guilty for wanting more more love, more virtue, more life. If this is so, then the study and exercise of virtue, suggested in the following means of restoring pages, is the best perhaps the only our dormant spiritual nerves and holy, neural pathways. — — To study virtue from a textbook could, for some, be dry as dust. Movies, on the other hand, offer plentiful, exciting lessons, all the more palatable since these are embedded in generally splendid entertainment. Films are rich sources for learning about virtue about life itself. — and Our own decency lets us, once more, hear and openly heed our inner, silent Cry. Kazantzakis is a comfort, suggesting that when we call out in despair, " 'Where can I go? I have reached the pinnacle, beyond is the abyss.' . . . the Cry [will] answer, T am beyond. Stand — our inmost mind and — the conceptions needed to stand up, be up!' " When movies give our heart eyes and ears certain: we held these fine sufficiencies within, all along.You know what the secret of life is? thing. . . . one thing: just one You stick to that and everything else don't mean [anything]. [What's the one thing?] That's what you got to figure out. — Curley City SlickersAWAKEN INNER STRENGTH Those who wished to understand [Zen] came to the master, but the latter had no stereotyped instruction to give, for this was impossible in the nature of things. The point was ...not to understand what came to them from the outside, but to awaken what lies within themselves. The master could not do anything further than indicate the way to it... there were not many who could readily grasp the teaching — D. T. Suzuki, The Training of the Zen A client of mine (whom I'll call Jane) Buddhist Monk said Tootsie stimu- lated her own humor and native playfulness. Jane was not referring to matters mystical, just describing how fresh in- sight revived her dying career. Jane, a talented, assertive woman, was naturally effervescent, a born leader. She felt stymied by her management's empty promises of job ad- vancement. Jane presented her concerns to her manager, the vice president of her division, who seemed put off by her forthrightness. "He told me that I should be patient, a good corporate soldier." Around this time, Jane saw Tootsie, "Not for any deep, psycho-spiritual reasons," she added later, "just for fun." Something about the movie haunted her. 5556 Marsha Sinetar Hoffman's character was so vital and alive. I hated the female lead. In her, I saw myself: a simp; passive, weak, and infuriating. As I watched, resentment bubbled up. I'd been such a "loyal corporate lieutenant," I'd buried the real me. Tootsie's feisty nature showed me what I used to be and want to be: myself bold, inventive, and — unafraid. The following week, Jane's dreams vividly highlighted her apparently suppressed desire to be and achieve more. In one dream, Jane was cleaning all her windows: "I needed to see out as far and as clearly as possible." In another, she found lost coins, rare stamps, and other precious valuables ("...my own worth and power, I'd say"). Subsequent dreams contained humorous sequences of her maneuvers around company red tape and pomp. One morning she woke up laughing, "My dreams that night were a hoot! Something in me obviously enjoys a challenge." Jane's consciously digested admixture of film, dreams, and personal reflection resulted in regained dynamism. She quickly corrected her work concerns. and my sense of humor. Tootsie gave me a jolt. My dreams showed me that I have I'd lost direction leadership options if I keep my eyes open. Instead of being a passive, dress-for-success book- end, now I say what's on my mind. My memos are hilarious; some of them even get answered in the same tone. For better or worse, I'm visible again and certainly less paralyzed. Whenever fear subsides, whenever alienation lessens, we approach our own special genius. This genius is unique, our most virtuous self — that state of mind and heart whenAwaken Inner Strength 57 we experience, as Thoreau described it, "life nearest to the bone and sweetest." Our dreams, fantasies, and desires invite us into these unknown reaches, our private inner landscape. As Jane indicates, so do fears and frustrations. Although we're end- lessly entreated to this secret, shadowy region, it is usually closed to our conscious mind. When and as we are ready, from real life, literature, from myth and art help us uncover our own concealments. Cinema animates this prompts holistic insight, lets us examine what covert life otherwise we suppress or fear as alienating and forbidden. Who knows why we prefer one movie over another? As with books of a type (mysteries, spy thrillers, or historical novels and nonfiction), when a filmmaker's imagination connects with some favorite phantom of our own, magic happens. When we were children, and still capable of make-believe, we simply entered various pretended realities with a kind of sideways knowing. stories — Dismantling Resistance Let's look at Henry Hobson, that selfish, closed-minded widower in the 1953 British film, Hobson's Choice. Henry He hopes to marry off two, but self-servingly believes that Maggie, his eldest, is "beyond marrying age." She's thirty. She has spunk and self-styled assertiveness. The movie's sharply defined darkness, not just its classic black and white tones has three vivacious daughters to support. but also Maggie's lack of contrition when facing her fa- ther's tantrums, her keen mind and her ability to work and — — love productively creatively evoke shared memory Maggie's quest for freedom and dignity reveals a common human experience far beyond my ability to articulate. Maggie is bright and efficient. She's become Hobson's58 Marsha Sinetar domestic, his business manager and — for all practical pur- his substitute wife. Temporarily she's boxed in poses yet never servile. Insensitive and coarse, Hobson (Charles Laughton) insults and exploits Maggie as his due. He can't — imagine any man finding her attractive but won't let her go. Lack of imagination and total absence of empathy, in- sight, and delicacy are only some of Hobson's intellectual deficits. He's bright, but his affective IQ is nil. The ambitious, enterprising Maggie knows exactly what When she asserts herself and finds a hus- band, Hobson becomes enraged. Maggie opposes him on all fronts and succeeds. Hobson cannot swallow the ob- vious: His world order has collapsed. People (represented by Maggie) are no longer his private property. Only with illness, as death's door opens, does Hobson's mind turn grudgingly toward affection and new possibilities for life. Many of us are Hobson. We too live under the sway of biased, obsolete, or rigid thinking. We thwart and abuse the Maggies around us if they aren't tough enough to stop us. In the 1800s, Hobson's choice was whether to exist har- moniously with others. Today we face (and often resist) precisely the very same option. It can help us scrutinize she wants. our unyielding nature (or applaud our heroic tenacity if we're like Maggie). Nearly too late, Hobson learns his rigidity is life- threatening. For one thing, it discourages acceptance of self-and-other, an active, "let-it-be" posture. For another, his closed mind is loveless; engages in circular intel- frequently an escape hatch for any real lectualizing — communication. As the bullheaded Henry Hobson demonstrates, an ar- reinforces what is the old view chaic, narrow mind psychically unhealthy. Yet somehow, to us, a narrow mind may seem self-protective. Our tendencies to do battle with — — our relatives, our petty irritations, or foot-in-the-mouthAwaken Inner Strength 59 diseases distance us from people, keep us safe (if also un- happy and, like Hobson, alone). Here again, bit by bit, memorable movies like Hobson's Choice dismantle tough walls of resistance if we watch with an open inner eye and personal connectedness. Studying Melodrama Melodrama is ripe with possibilities for spiritual or psy- chological self-study and discussion. Author Marcia Landy suggests that melodrama follows life. It reveals a "constant struggle for gratification and equally constant blockages to its attainment." 1 Self-actualizing adults tend to function through their personal melodramas — not always, but usually. It is not that these individuals don't feel or suffer, but they actively work at living against the tide of their unproductive, mech- Like Maggie, they're aware of and move toward what they need, value, and want. This knowledge adds tremendous power to anistic, or life-avoiding strategies. — — their behavior. Self-actualizing adults strive for objectivity. They aspire to extend their limits and break through what has been called "hallucinations of imprisonment." Maggie could believe her father's opinion of her — could adopt his biases against her. Instead, she boldly ventures forth, creates her own life as do all heroes of mythic proportions. The contemporary film Cross Creek teaches us about this real achievement. The movie takes a soft, reflective look at personal, creative transformation. It is supposedly a story about author Marjorie Rawlings' writer's block, after which she wrote The Yearling. 2 Mary Steenburgen plays the refined novelist relocating from sophisticated city life to a backwoods southern everglades. She's gentler than Mag- gie; her obstacles differ, yet not entirely. She knows she60 Marsha Sinetar must stimulate and strengthen her literary powers, add power to writing that is bogged down with excessive ro- mance and too little authenticity. Here too, a central figure shows us vision, demonstrates inner calling, a sense of what she must do to live fully. During the months of her self-imposed isolation we watch the delicate Steenburgen living, serious and monk- like, in a tiny spartan cabin. She maneuvers around deso- late marshlands in a leaky boat, gets distracted by romance and volatile, intimate friendships, yet plods ahead with her writing. She functions. Knowing what she is, and what she must do, helps her. Over the course of this story, as fear and self-doubt lessen, we see a genuinely fine writer come into being. Despite rejected manuscripts, dwindling funds, and emotional upheaval, Steenburgen persists. She tames her unproductive nature and finds creative rebirth as a re- sult. The reality principle here is that, with strong intention, we too can renew our creative sensibilities regardless of — circumstances, predisposition, or conflicts. To grow spiritually, we must build capability. Perhaps we lack the requisite character, physical strength, tenacity, or intention to achieve our goals. We may quit (or col- lapse) under the weight of normal day-to-day pressures. We may waffle about our ambitions and, variously, stand in our own way by skirting any true commitment. This is life-avoidance, our recoil from responsibility. Ill health, mounting expenses and unpaid bills, job frustrations or marital problems can easily derail any of us. If we allow it. Even social slights and subtle insults are sufficient trig- gers, causing our dispirited switch of loyalties toward the negative. Then, instead of our long-range, most meaning- ful life-purposes, we concentrate on our bad feelings or bruised egos. Everyone knows what it means to be undisciplined in their use of energy or talent. This tendency keeps us me-Awaken Inner Strength diocre, suffering and responding in a slavish, 61 unfocused manner. In my low moments, when I'm stubbornly re- sisting work, growth, or denying some unnameable fear, movies like Cross Creek or Hobson's Choice resonate with even if familiar overtones. Once I recognize the truth All dissolves. this is a mat- my bogus stuckness foggily — — ter of degrees. The question each somehow eventually asks (and no doubt answers, if only silently) is, "To what, over the course of my life, have I been faithful? What predictably gets my time, attention, and love?" Understanding Your Identifications Until it nearly kills him, Henry Hobson serves his lesser self — comfort, manners, and possessive sensuality reign. Perhaps, like Henry, so do we. When asked what we really want, we answer, "I don't know." As the renowned psy- chologist Fritz Perls once taught, "I-don't-know" usually means "I-won't-tell." When we cannot, or will not, develop the tools to move beyond what is now popularly and too glibly called our wounded inner child, we forfeit our inherent potential. We continue to hurt, to blame parents, work supervisors, or friends for obstacles that block our success. But we are the barrier. We exchange potential inner strength for a tortured existence. We substitute the words "virtue," "character," or "personal responsibility" with the despondent concepts and vocabulary of self-defeat and misery, defining our- selves with symptomatic phrases like "chronic fatigue," "abuse," and "burnout." Whatever our individual story, virtually all our actions and discussions erode confidence. We abuse ourselves, are subservient to a Hobson-like, inner spirit. This adds to our victimization, ineffectiveness and, ultimately, our sadness.62 Marsha Sinetar We live desperate — but not necessarily quiet — lives. Our inner Maggie adopts "our Henry's" verdict, forever. One can hardly turn on the news or read a popular magazine without discovering new horror stories about adults who suddenly remember their parents as addicts, abusers, or rapists. Such exposes reveal an ongoing, overt battle, a warring eternal tour deforce between the Maggies and the Henrys of the world. Acknowledgment of abuse is generally a big step forward for anyone. To listeners, a little verbalization of this goes a long way. With wholeness comes discernment: We can learn when to stop talking. I'm reminded of a bright, attractive colleague who was roundly rejected from his social and business circles. His "wounded child" narratives overshadowed all other con- — true or — were simply tedious. This individual's unquench- versation. These sad, self-involved confessions not able thirst for attention and understanding (apparently forever out of reach) eroded his ability to relate or func- tion effectively. Unlike the movie's Maggie, this person's real life became a sorry public melodrama. Our melodramas also silently thwart our talent and ful- fillment. We need not utter one word for others (and us) to see we're hurting and unfulfilled. That we need someone else to explain why life is so unfair or miserably hurtful obvious when our need is constant. Facial expressions, mannerisms, tone of voice, and body language can give is testimonies to pain. Both men and women frustrate their "inner Maggie's" bid for power. It is a mistake to think only women submit to domination. In this matter of silent, sweet suffering, 3 movies have too long painted women as patient, long-agonizing victims. However glamorous female stars seem otherwise, their roles in film, theater, and literature illustrate what it takes to pine away in style. (Even the phrase "growing old grace- fully" is meant, I think, exclusively for women, tinged withAwaken Inner Strength 63 expectations of how, ideally, women should age; God for- bid they get fat, get wrinkles, or otherwise "let themselves go.") Inner Strength Requires Positive Identification Until recently only the rare film empowered humanity's feminine energies. Rather, "real men" (e.g., John Wayne or Arnold Schwarzenegger) created the fun, excitement, and adventure by taking charge of life or saying "yes" to dreams and achievements. This historic disrespect for feminine power and ac- complishment deprives both men and women. Formerly, women lacked stories from which to gain true potency. Even today, women must be diligent hunters to find movies that strengthen them inwardly. Children, the aged, and all minorities are similarly shortchanged, defined as less than heroic, fully virtuous, or whole. (In this, there are embarrassingly few inspired, inspiring films starring mi- norities from which to draw examples. This is a national disgrace.) Whether we study contemporary prime time televi- sion or review classic films, female leads primarily bravely display loving, suffering tendencies. stoics, victims, When women play or weepers, they accept life's blows, and turn mostly to men for their solutions, protection, or their creative inspiration. In TV's Dallas, Dynasty, or the daytime soaps, beautiful, dominant females compete and preen for the attention, ap- proval, and financial support of powerful, achieving men. Not until the late eighties (e.g., Cagney & Lacey or L.A. Law) did TV viewers find accomplished women function- ing as a matter of fact not after surmounting some grave tragedy, not after shooting their abusing lovers or spouses, —64 Marsha Sinetar but rather as a natural, commonplace aspect of their overall characters. Traditional stars (like Bette Davis, Joan Crawford, Greta Garbo, Jane Wyman) taught us how to bear up under the strain of insults, rejection, or repressed inner potential. To — be loved, women practically had to be saints and or- namental ones at that. Occasionally, a Mae West, Myrna Loy, or Katherine Hepburn playfully, assertively, demon- strated competence and spirited independence, but not as the norm. After all, The Thin Man series featured the shrewd prowess of a male detective. His droll, helpful wife and darling dog were but amusing sidekicks. Only recently have strong, functioning female detec- tives appeared on prime time television (e.g., Jessica Fletcher, Murder She Wrote) and in the movies. Viewed unconsciously, these older films jaundice our self-opinion. Pam Cook's fine article in Imitations of Life suggests that, in movies, the woman's viewpoint has been depicted as paranoid, hysterical, or hallucinatory: The woman's ability to see is frequently questioned; she may be literally blind (Magnificent Obsession) or blinded by desire (Spellbound), or lost in a world of shadows and uncertainty (Rebecca, Suspicion). Her de- sire is often presented as a symptom, resulting in mental and physical illness (Joan Crawford in Pos- sessed, Bette Davis in Dark Victory) so that her body becomes an enigma, a riddle to be read for its symp- toms rather than an object of erotic contemplation. This hysterical body is inaccessible to the male pro- tagonist, often a doctor or psychiatrist who fails to understand it adequately, to explain it, or to cure it (e.g., Three Comrades). Thus it threatens to slip out of male control, and the only solution is frequently the heroine's death. 4Awaken Inner Strength 65 Hallucination, as I mean it, is a human, not a gender, problem. Stories about uncontrolled hysteria, the mental or physical symptoms obstructing vital, expressive life, or heroes or heroines with wild, incomprehensible desires turn both men and women into slaves. These undermining themes encourage hallucinations and weaken us. The last chapter examines several side issues of this problem, ask- ing you — the reader — to determine your point of view on the matter. We all have our share of unexamined and erroneous ideas. Some of us think that we can't talk to anyone about our problems. Both men and women swallow or internal- ize their feelings. Others overtalk their concerns. Men and women of all ages and backgrounds routinely drive people away by dominating or controlling them. With wholeness and understand comes our ability to express fear, sad- ness, and anger. We listen to ourselves and others. We join the give-and-take of life or make sense out of what is now irrational. Over time, we effectively resolve negative feel- ings and get on with the deeper, more meaningful and fulfilling purposes of existence. This is what it means to function. Movies as dissimilar as Alice Doesn't Live Here Any More, The Dollmaker, Norma Rae, A Chorus Line, or — — Birdman of Alcatraz can help us understand the costs of purposefulness. Friends of mine lost their only child in a tragic accident. Unsuspectingly, I phoned the husband, whom I'll call Tim, at his office one Monday morning to discuss some busi- I could hear that Tim's voice was strained. When I asked him what was wrong, he sobbed openly and told me about the accident. Tim's unvarnished grief was conta- gious. In short order I was crying too. For many months, whenever we spoke, Tim talked about his daughter and about what he and his wife were doing to recover. As he spoke he wept, saying, "getting this out" eased his tor- ness.66 Marsha Sinetar ment. Tim went to the office every day felt — not because he obligated: I'm not functioning at 100 percent capacity. But I need to be here. People and my job keep me sane. Day-to- day friendships help me deal with this loss. Somehow I'm gaining strength to face old wounds that need tending. Within a relatively short time, Tim and his wife felt bet- Rather than force himself to work for duty's sake, Tim used his workplace and his colleagues for his own ends. He did this automatically without guilt or shame for having a human need. Admission of dire pain was Tim's ter. — — way of connecting to the human community. This helped him heal and get along during a time of suffering. This the ability to reach out for what we need too is what it means to function, to live against the tide of unproductive — — patterns. By contrast, compulsive perfectionists stoically press on through loss or grief. They suppress their feelings. They've learned to be tough. Often "tough" means treating them- selves and others inhumanely. They feign stability or hold back tears and generally reject overtures of human warmth. Others so exaggerate their problems' dramatic content that they too avoid reality. Their feelings say, "I'm so special, my discomfort is so excruciating, that everyone must hear each nuance and fascinating detail of what I feel." This is narcissism at its zenith: self-involvement so rich and ruthless that it can, and does, snuff out life. A tour of the world's mental hospitals and prisons quickly shows us the extent to which improper, unproduc- tive self-expression or rationalization and unreality defeat human potential. Hard work insufficient for optimal — sheer effort — alone is mental health. We all need high,Awaken Inner Strength 67 perhaps heroic goals (and a little actual success) to be happy. True life stories about effective people let us iden- tify productively with others' struggles and triumphs. We project our own worries onto the characters or, in some vicarious way, try to solve our problems along with the heroes. We must not, however, misinterpret this to mean that a movie will settle our inner turmoil or fix some weighty concern once and for all. If it helps at all, it is under the surface of awareness, beneath our indirectly clear, — thoughtful considerations. It is a sure sign of maturity when we finally reconcile ourselves to the fact that our deepest problems are rarely solved. Generally, we learn to live with these as happily as possible, sustaining the tension that comes from knowing that we don't know exactly what to do. Carl Jung stressed that the purpose and meaning of problems reside in our "working on them incessantly," not simply in finding so- if we imagine that we've found the one and only right answer, "the more 5 likely we'll have lost something." lutions. This alone revitalizes us, and Precisely because of their animating, sensually imitative quality, motion pictures teach us — — as do myths, legends, and fairy tales how to grow up in this way, how to accept what can't be changed while nevertheless court- ing self-mastery and meaningful ambition in all joy and gratefulness. Cinema invites our own creative synthesis of insights and responses. Pictures replicate and then spur a universal play of consciousness. For instance, timelessly, humankind has puzzled over primordial inquiries: should we to stay with something or leave it? what should we do about such- and-such? what is the meaning of life and death? These and if questions whirl about in our collective awareness they are any good, movies surface and address these ideas. —68 Marsha Sinetar To be stimulated in this fashion is no small advantage, as any artist or creatively aware person knows. To revise our life's script from a frustrating melodrama to a mature, resourceful victory, we might judiciously (and over time) immerse ourselves in stories about others who prevail over adversity. If we watch a movie like Hobson's Choice or Cross Creek as individuals who are larger than a particular age, cultural or racial group, any good tale can be instructive. No single picture contains all our answers (or even most of them). Almost any decent movie raises our unresolved questions. Admitting we are double-minded is the first step to seeding our answers. Again, Bettelheim's remarks about the usefulness of fairy tales are easily applied to him. He explains, in part, how the " seeding" of maturity works: leaves all decisions up to us, includ- The fairy tale ing whether we wish to make any at all. It is up to us whether we wish to make any application to our life from a fairy tale, or simply enjoy the fantastic events it tells about. Our enjoyment is what induces us to re- spond in our own good time to the hidden meanings, as they may relate to our life experience and present state . . . of personal development. . . . identification with [The Three Little Pigs] teaches that there are developments — possibilities of progress from the pleasure principle to the reality principle, which, after all, is nothing but a modification of the former. 6 [italics mine] In exactly this fashion, cinema helps us reconcile the tensions in our present circumstances, so that, in our own good time (i.e., sonal realities possibly decades), we modify our per- for the better — move from victims toAwaken Inner Strength 69 self-actualizers or passive to active causal agents of our own life. We also project our forbidden hostilities and inner con- We can flicts onto the screen while actors battle their foes. examine fictional solutions for insight into real problems. By choosing to identify with substantive, virtuous charac- ters (whether in fiction or real life) or with inept, evil, or impoverished types, we mold our psyches. Exemplars of Personal Power In The Color of Money a tough, tired-out and streetwise billiard champion, "Fast Eddie Felson" (Paul Newman), makes a comeback by managing his mind and his emo- tions. full, "I'm back," he grunts contentedly, returning with determined focus to the business of his life. We all know what he means. — an exuberant, up- Not only Fast Eddie but Vincent and all those characters as- and-coming young player — piring to win at big-money, professional pool exemplify They possess a tight, disciplined mind and a pool-hall brand of grace under pressure. These active personal power. qualities flow from pure, objective awareness. Whether we hope to succeed in billiards, the corporate board room, or family life, objectivity is essential. Fresh, uncontaminated insight, the lucid interplay of interior and exterior cues, activate our most basic spiritual impulse: our wish that life in us surpass itself. The work of integrat- ing fragmented, perhaps despairing or unconscious, bits of ourselves into full awareness is both psychological and spiritual. When handled well, this emotional homework re- sults in such improvements as enhanced communication skills and bolstered self-esteem. These traits enable us to grow toward true autonomy.70 Marsha Sinetar Form Character; Forget "Perfection" Films' sumptuous world of images, sound, and move- ment provides constant, steady commentary about human joy, struggle, and triumph. These lead us through a soli- tary, reflective pilgrimage to our deepest heart. Here we are reacquainted with our own falsehoods, truths, and as- pirations. Whenever films give our mind much needed and has always been fine stimulus to express what is — — and intelligent within, they carry the mystical message. The movies discussed in this book suggest that char- acteristics like courage, perseverance, and moral decency are demonstrable qualities in all sorts of people, are largely spiritual traits contributing to our "character." Maggie and Fast Eddie Felson are each distinctive — entirely unlike each other. Nevertheless, they share in common a lavish humanity. — Maggie and Fast Eddie are also imperfect just like us. Although tainted by all the varied emotions and frailties of our species, they possess virtue and nobility of character — that special amalgam of traits equaling valor, honest re- pute, and an elevated moral constitution. To me their goals seem ordinary. One wants a happy marriage. The other wants to score at pool. What's extraordinary is not their aims but the heroic manner in which they pursue them. We too can grow in confidence and self-respect as we sacri- form good character or learn to strive effectively ficially toward our ambitions. This means we reach for not an artificial, egoistic perfection. personal excellence Movies of every sort illuminate virtue and spotlight the moral elevation inherent in our own souls. When we root for the brave underdog, it is, in part, because we are coura- geous or have love. When we cry with characters who've been hurt, it is in part because we empathize with suffer- ing, are compassionate and even saintlike. We resist these — — —Awaken Inner Strength 71 tender feelings in ordinary life, steeling ourselves against our own or others' vulnerabilities. Films produced mind- fully, under the impress of directors' and actors' highest spirits, slice us open with knife-like sharpness, revealing our essential goodness. Frank Capra knew this. He was particularly aware of virtue when making films like Mr. Smith Goes to Wash- ington or his classic It's a Wonderful Life. (Perhaps this is why his movies soften hardened hearts.) Even that beacon of sophistication, The New Yorker, concedes about Wonder- ful Life: "In its own icky, bittersweet way, it's terribly effective." 7 We know that Jimmy Stewart's character is fictional. most of us emotionally engage with him, feel some stirring of renewed hope, love, or self-confidence. A brave, Still, heroic performance like Stewart's lifts our spirits, reminds us of our own capacity for truthfulness, bravery, or human affection. This recollection restores power with life — if — can infuse us we stay open. Positive Identifications Build Strength All virtues and vices are somehow already ours, although some are dormant within our consciousness. It is easier to embody a trait if we can clearly visualize it. This en- visioning is our primary means of learning any complex social skill, like walking and talking, like lying or telling the truth. Watching others demonstrate a quality, we imag- ine ourselves doing so. Over time, imagination dominates our will and intellect. No matter who we are, it is personally very expensive to express virtue in everyday life. Without concrete exam- ples we can't even comprehend the extent of these costs. Yet films help our imagination calculate the personal risks.72 Marsha Sinetar Jesus Christ's rule of thumb on this is so down to earth, so simple: "Which of you desiring to build a tower, doth not first sit down and count the costs whether he have wherewith to complete it?" (Luke 14:28). When our parents, teachers, or mentors have not dem- onstrated virtue, movies can be helpful ersatz guides. Certainly we need much repetition and encouragement to exercise our decency. We require virtuous models, particu- larly if we weren't loved properly — since all of us have a capacity for cowardice or evil. The nightly news bears this out. Paraphrasing Olivia de Havilland in The Heiress, when we've been taught by masters we can indeed be very cruel. I have suggested previously that as we identify with genuinely wholesome people, we construct the scaffold- ing for our own authenticity. 8 The live, admired model is a blueprint for our mind. Wholeness always demands that we be faithful to new and raised standards of thought and behavior. For optimal personal growth, we must also come to terms with any number of what may now seem foreign or dangerous attributes. Stories and respected role models are guides that impart information for the enhanced goals or conduct we want. If we are honest observers, we realize that virtue and "good character" coexist with human imperfections. Despite our flaws we begin to feel deserving of our dreams. So comes courage to continue. No one develops good character without tolerating frus- tration or casting their nets into the dark waters of the unknown. As we envision leaving our comfort zones, it is consoling to find examples of people whose clear spirits are temporarily, like ours, "puddled by something, [wran- gling] with inferior things, object." though great ones are [their] 9 Here is when an invigorating saga, perhaps like Serpico, reassures us that others know what we're experiencing.Awaken Inner Strength 73 (Serpico, Al Pacino, has inspired me more than once.) The — a street-smart, flawlessly hon- opera-loving policeman — stubbornly defines integrity wiry, know-it-all Serpico est, and good character. We first see Serpico at his graduation from officer's training school. There he sits, bright eyes and mind intent on the commencement speaker's message about police virtue. To be a police officer means to believe in the law, to en- force it impartially, respecting the equality of all men and the dignity and worth of every individual. Every day your life will be on the line. Also your character. You need integrity, courage, honesty, compassion, courtesy, perseverance, and patience. Not to worry: Serpico possesses all these traits. More file, — he loves this idealized pro- and Mom and Apple Pie and the NYPD archetypal important, he is a Believer heroics. Instinct tells us Serpico is potentially a super cop. What we don't yet know about him is what we don't yet know about ourselves: Will he have what it takes when the going gets really rough? (Will we?) Can he live his highest virtues? (Can we live ours?) How much nobility of charac- ter is required to surmount the exigencies that life dishes out? Before he gets his answer, Serpico of safety and friendship, and is stripped bare he's nearly crucified by a profoundly corrupt law enforcement system. His own tough expectations almost do him in as well. Serpico is an life instructor. He endearing if sometimes irritating shows us how to "wrangle with inferior things" though great ones are our object. — Worded as exactly as memory permits. —74 Marsha Sinetar Shocks of Recognition Strengthen An impeccable performance like Pacino's rudely awakens us to the reality principle. If we immerse ourselves in his story, empathically lose ourselves in it, the harsh require- ments of our life reassert themselves. We may discover that we want to meet these rough demands. Or not. Properly offended by what we see on the screen, we could summon new energies with which to face our own trials. The training of Zen monks involves many shocks to the students' minds and bodies. Disciples are hit on the back and about the head if they doze off in meditation. 10 These slaps bring the attention back to reality. In time, aspi- rants' minds leap to greater understanding and, for some, spiritual awakening. So it is with us. Westerners seeking spiritual advancement along gen- tler lines could well consider boosting their minds' leaps of comprehension by pondering the images, symbols, and cues of those qualities that make up character of all kinds. Movies like A Chorus Line, Babette's Feast, The Heiress, A Man for All Seasons, Malcolm X, Raging Bull, and Serpico can provide diverse, much needed jolts. Babette's Feast makes obvious in lush, intelligent terms that high intellect blends purity of reason and emotion. To use the vocabulary of Defending Your Life, Babette is not a "little brain," although her goodness is uncomplicated. De- cency (not logic, not sophisticated debating skill) promotes both her survival and her healing. Ultimately it is Babette's virtue (multifariously ex- pressed as generosity, kindness, patience, hope, love) that displays her humanity and rescues her from living a vic- tim's life. As Babette's Feast illustrates, virtue is not what we do to impress others. It is what we do to preserve — our personal aesthetic, the delicate our sacred values symmetry of our own life, and thus our heroism.Awaken Inner Strength I 75 recommend Babette's Feast as an entry point for an initial cinematic reflection on virtue, personal strength, or wholeness and A Man for All Seasons for the summation and apex of inquiry into the full flowering of charac- ter. Both of these films are, to me, seminal works about the upper reaches of character development, where ma- ture spirituality resides. These movies majestically display the luminous, at root unfathomable, and infinitely vari- able nature of human goodness. As such, each story speaks no matter how jaded we may powerfully to our intellects have become. These movies offer clues (from our collective shared unconscious) that spirituality presses us to reach up as Kazantza- courageously for final integration. The cry kis termed our impulse for life and wholeness reasserts — — — itself, despite difficulties and realistic, painful costs. From Saint Thomas More's life force, from the original author's unconscious, come new structurings and illogical, inspired precepts about how life — our own included — yearns to surpass itself. Neither Babette's Feast nor A Man for All Seasons is a chilly, dogmatic lecture or a self-righteous, pharisaical rule- — and would add Malcolm X or the virtue Godfather series — simply prove above — humanity, vulnerability not in our resides in our our book. These movies I that, all, idealized performances, our puny efforts toward perfec- Each movie is a graduate school course on how decent people (to me, larger-than- life heroes) express compassion, courage, integrity, and generosity. Such study is essential if we would be self- respecting heroes in our own eyes. tion, or in our cherished logic. "Coppola's Godfather series is myth, not fairy tale, and certainly too vast a trilogy to discuss briefly. This is one of those masterpieces that, like A Man for All Seasons, deserves our exclusive attention. For a start, read The Godfather Films by John R. May. 1176 Marsha Sinetar Your Meanings Bring Strengths A story's value is easily ruined if others outline its meaning too specifically. This is certainly true of movies. Films with rich personal relevance may not conform to meanings that others find in them. Our own understandings are intimate — the ones we most need or that context of our Nor must we avoid para- for doxes, contradictions, or inconsistencies. These too — we comprehend their special messages — can feed our minds partners to our particular virtues this life. if with healthful insights. I love TV's Mystery Science Theater 3000, Ruby Wax, and The Simpsons but was never moved to see The Last Tempta- tion of Christ (although I'm a Scorsese fan). Friends puzzle over this. Similarly, when I was little, I resisted much seri- ous drama yet loved cartoons, comic books, and movies that my refined, urbane parents thought of questionable value. As in close friendships and love affairs, opposites attract. With stories, truly there is no accounting for taste. Nor need we justify our choices. The French proverb "The heart has reasons that our reason does not understand" explains this. We may love horror films or crass detective tales but loathe violence. We could easily admire certain adventur- — 007? Moriarty? Dirty Harry? Thelma and ous characters but not want to Louise? Auntie Mame? Mrs. Miniver? emulate their obviously fanciful lives. Even children understand that some famous heroes are unreal (e.g., the Tin Man or the Lion in The Wizard of Oz; the wicked stepmother in Disney's version of Cinderella; or the Ninja Turtles in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles). Still these might help viewers accept some negative energy (like fear or cowardice) or bring to light long forgotten ambi- tions, loves, desires, or a longing to be decent. Thus film — heroes can promote the reconciliation of feelings integralAwaken Inner Strength 77 to wholeness. For this to happen, we must avoid passive, indiscriminate viewing. Reflecting on the movies that you love, you might ex- plore how these may have helped you accept your flaws or develop your inherent strengths. For example, ask your- self • What movies encourage me to get out of my own way, intensify my love of life, or remind me that I want to become more brave, more robustly authentic? • What stories typically promote my healthy function- ing (despite unpleasant circumstances or negative self- feelings)? What movies shock me into realizing that what I thought were imperfections were really virtues in disguise? flaws • What movies enable me to embrace my — accept myself as am, warts and I all? What films stimulate self-awareness or help me feel what I am feeling here and now: anger, fear, hope- lessness, resentment? Do movies ever renew my optimism or determination? If so, which ones accom- plish this? • — What positive personal traits like healthy resolve or good humor in the face of unfriendly attack resurface — as I watch selected movies? (Do these films ever stir me to take myself more seriously in some way or remind me that I want to develop some specific virtue?) • What kinds of heroes or heroines do I routinely and predictably admire? Do they embody typically "mas- culine" or "feminine" energies? Does my attraction provide information about my own inherent weakness or still-hidden strengths? This sort of quiet, ongoing reflection seems a natural partner to self-knowledge. Whether we prefer the stories78 Marsha Sinetar in movies or the theater or gravitate to those in literature or some other art form like dance or poetry, by learning how to strengthen ourselves through stories we wake up, come alive, if only gradually.4 Don't be too sure I'm as crooked as I'm supposed to be. Sam Spade The Maltese Falcon 1FOLLOW VIRTUE To him that hath, shall be given. And he already hath who has found the riches of his own nature. To find these riches is the first step All other things will be added. And to find those riches, use well every talent you possess. Then whatever comes, just be glad. For all things respond to the call of rejoicing; all things gather where life is a song. 2 — Christian D. Larson An entrepreneur I'll call Bill used his addictions as subtle entertainments. Bill loved a good chase. Women fas- cinated him if they resisted his charms. Gambling and the fine art of thin-ice brinkmanship were Bill's other favorite hobbies. He enjoyed barely escaping financial crises and time-pressures. With high animation and lively displeasure, Bill com- plained of a falling-apart world: a pending divorce and possible loss of custody of his children. But his zest and, more, his obvious pleasure in relaying all of this betrayed him. When I suggested that these excitement addictions might be his unexamined way of avoiding life's respon- sibilities, Bill laughed. His entire being delightedly recog- nized (and responded to) the truth. He admitted that The Chase was stimulating: "Married women and those who play hard-to-get are fun. I doubt that monogamy could be as revitalizing." I asked Bill to 8182 Marsha Sinetar watch Alfie in this same light. Alfie (Michael Caine), a Cockney womanizer of the first order, is an accomplished hunter of the fair sex. And proud of it. Unfortunately, not until it's too late does he realize that his life is barren. He lacks love and true fulfillment. By gradually revising his identifications, Bill discovered that work, off-hours' pleasures and particularly relation- ships were only superficial gambits. Like Alfie, he had traded life's true satisfactions for fleeting excitements. Bill was merely skimming indolently over the surface of his ex- istence. Were he to tackle something deep enough to satisfy his sharp mind, Bill might find sufficient challenge for a lifetime. Yet, such objectives sorely test any of us. In this chapter we explore what it means to risk our all, to fail, to perhaps just average. To some be seen for what we are this is intolerable. To all it calls for virtue. Each of us grasps life's crucial spiritual issues in our own complex fashion. Terms like "personal power" or "virtue" are fraught with positive, negative, and cultural innuendos. One friend confessed to me that, initially, she — was irritated by my use of the word virtue: I'd never call anyone virtuous — that's so self- righteous and evangelical sounding. The most I'll give them is that they've done a virtuous act. Perhaps you also interpret the word as essentially judg- mental or as tinged with religious overtones. Skeptics and the sophisticated are suspicious: No virtuous person ex- ists; everyone is corrupt or corruptible; saints are motivated by self-interest. Those less cynical may still consider virtue an abstraction lacking concrete, practical relevance to daily life. Cynicism and boredom, a preference for evil or for the dark underbelly of experience, and the refusal toFollow Virtue 83 take anything seriously are easy ways to block feelings and avoid the tender, painful poignancies of caring, striv- ing, or knowing that something essentially decent lives within ourselves. Early in life, I discovered that almost all my schoolmates joked to break the tension of their own discomfort after seeing a serious movie. They seemed compelled to do the same when someone in the group disclosed a particularly sharp vulnerability. Too many films portray such crude reactions: Heroes are uninvolved with others' suffering; they poke fun at the vul- nerabilities or tendernesses of the helpless. Thus we learn how to deny our own fragilities, our purposeful objectives or our enthusiasms. These movies seem to be the products of mind-numbingly cynical (or unintelligent) directors and producers. Author Tom O'Brien in describing such crass work says, "... a deliberately cool refusal to go deep or to credit in- sights of facades mind or feelings or heart — aids and abets all — to play only at those already strong tenden- cies in the entertainment world to . . . avoid depth." 3 Motion pictures supposedly made for teenagers or young children often lack depth. The entertainment world reflects us. There is a def- between our collective, psychic impov- erishment (at best an immaturity of conscience) and the superficiality of most movies. As individuals, we too skirt the mature, enduring values of life. We want quick fixes, and in the poet Rilke's words "the easiest side of the easy." We too approach life with spiritual and psycholog- ical dryness. Certainly we diminish our own humanity when failing to use all and derail our personal power the means at our disposal to develop, then express, our inite correlation — — fundamental goodness. Even average films talk of what it means to be involved in the tug of war between the abstract concept of vir-84 Marsha Sinetar tue and its concrete acts. Heroes and heroines in cartoons, comedies, and of course in most dramas vacillate between cynical and humane assessment of themselves and the world. In Ramblin' Rose, Lilies of the Field, Pretty Woman, Wall Street, and The Americanization of Emily, we find par- ticularly strong examples of the way ordinary people confront and express virtue. These movies can shed light on our own struggles to be decent or reveal what we value. Virtue Is Power Virtue, our fundamental strength and goodness, is no clear- cut black-and-white affair. — Its expression is complicated its particular plot, actors, conflicts, by our life's script and the richness, or special texture, of our and events — unique nature. Some of us are deeper than others. If so, then our intellect and heart craves cultivation when we fail to exercise courage, truthfulness, or some other obvious sign of respect for life. Developing these, we'll grow ro- no matter how hard life may bust, authentic, and joyful then otherwise become. More often than not, such quali- ties are forged in the crucible of our conflicts, losses, and — temptations. In Lilies of the Field, Homer Smith (Sidney Poitier) is an itinerant carpenter, traveling through New Mexico. He happens on a group of German nuns, living in the middle of nowhere. They are new to America, speak little Eng- lish, and see in Smith an answer to their prayers. The nuns need someone strong and capable to build a chapel for them. After much resistance, Homer Smith finally surrenders to the nuns' vision. Slowly this small, odd band of holy for- eigners becomes Smith's ersatz family. Although we senseFollow Virtue 85 Smith is basically a decent, well-meaning fellow, over the course of this tale he achieves substantive virtue. He yields to the requirements of the job, accepts great responsibil- ities — even those that aren't really his, and repeatedly turns the other cheek when insulted. Faithfully Smith stays his course, keeps his commitments. However much he yearns to quit, he persists with the building project amidst often inhospitable, exploitive nuns and a community that — because — Smith also becomes more complete as a of his virtue challenges him. The chapel gets finished and person. Toward the movie's end, as Homer Smith oversees the finishing touches being added to the new structure, we're watching a man who seems to have responsibly finished a key chapter in his life. He is larger, more truly himself, and somehow fulfilled. Smith's character has been shaped by his loving efforts and by the affection that has grown between himself and the nuns. The simple territory of this tale depicts how virtue assumes a human shape and proportion. The reality prin- ciple is repeated: Our inherent positive qualities are gained largely through struggle, hardship, and mature dedication to something larger than ourselves. This is an evolving, unending matter. The movie Wall Street shines a subtler light on human goodness. Here virtue is less obvious. We must look long and hard (beyond the primary characters' debased lust for money and things) to find it. The film is played out on a wide, contemporary landscape where money and power tempt, corrupt, and eventually betray Bud Fox, an ambitious young stockbroker. Unlike the more patient Smith, Fox (Charlie Sheen) is in a frenzy to ex- change his working-class heritage and values for those of Wall Street. He aims at a glitzy, mid-eighties' defini-86 Marsha Sinetar tion of success. Fox is speedily seduced by a charming robber baron. His mentor, Gordon Gekko (Michael Dou- glas), has the Midas touch, and Fox willingly tarnishes his own innocence during his short, stressful apprenticeship in avarice. Wall Street's images tempt us as much as power and wealth entice Bud Fox. The movie inundates us with sym- bols of luxury, chic and all those fabulous things money can buy: lavish penthouses; designer suits, state-of-the-art kitchens, luxury cars; leather and chrome corner offices; power over others. We too may covet these. We may even hope Fox makes it big (who doesn't want the American dream of success?). But Fox can't have phenomenal suc- cess without phenomenal personal costs. Neither can we. The reality principle returns. Fox pays for success with his virtue and his relationship with his father, whom he adores. Ultimately Fox's basic de- cency wins out when he must choose, once and for all, his loyalties. (Of course, the fact that he gets caught in an ugly, insider-trader scam helps him see the light.) Many of us are impaled by our own ambitions. Perhaps we're working toward conflicting goals. Or we're torn be- tween opposing ways of behaving: We want success, yet much as we need air. need virtue and love Working Girl, Big Business, and The Secret of My Suc- cess are other contemporary films that likewise, in comedic — fashion, reveal the pitfalls of excessive ambition. Stories about people who must struggle to behave decently can illuminate our answers or show us why we're hurting. While a movie does not give us the solution to our prob- lems, a good tale sticks with us, highlights various options, lets us feel our truths and virtues (which we may otherwise ignore).Follow Virtue 87 Virtue Is Uncomplicated Nor need we make this too complex. Even young chil- dren know what virtue is: The Simpsons' little Lisa Simpson and her mother, Marge, are virtuous. It's obvious; it's sim- ple. Their kind, all compassionate natures, their generosity, do demonstrate a basic sweetness, that they say and self-respect, regard for other people. Homer Simpson knows what truth and virtue are, yet his flesh seems particularly weak. Homer can't behave as his conscience dictates. He usually struggles very little and gives in easily to temptation. (Just like us?) Then there's Bart: and he's a whole other story. Bart voices our universal contrariness and acts out our danger- ous, disruptive desires. Bart has a demon living in him (fairly close to the surface of his awareness). Bart gleefully throws marbles on the floor when he knows someone in authority is about to walk by. Perhaps that's why we laugh: a demon lives in us too. Author and ethical theorist Jonathan Jacobs suggests that virtue is "the most complete operation" of our powers of personal agency. Practicing virtue is uniquely enjoy- able because it makes our life intelligible and affords us "maximal exercise" of causality: ...persons typically enjoy and find worthwhile the exercise of their agency. Its most complete operation, virtue, yields the richest and most stable type of en- joyment the more fully one's causality determines actions and dispositions, the more fully able the agent is to understand [these]. Being moral can make a deci- sive contribution to having a coherent, lucid personal . narrative. . . 4 Our virtue is our finest, most trustworthy means of experiencing the vibrancy of personal power. The greater88 Marsha Sinetar our direct expression and direct experience of virtue, the higher is our quality of life, health, joy, and inner peace. Movies can help us touch this inner core, this life-source, although of course they cannot provide experience itself. Most motion pictures made for children (e.g., the old Charles Dickens's classics or the recent Disney hit, Beauty and the Beast) animate the value and practical benefits of virtue. They can induce insight in people of all ages. Movies cannot whisk us into a state of permanent we ourselves must activate intelli- gent imagination and develop our own courage, honesty, goodness. For that, resourcefulness, and patience. agement about his A friend expressed discour- inability to actualize his long-term goals. Desperate to succeed (he's studied every available self-help program), he can't seem to erase the imprint of childhood's pain and helplessness. "The people around me — my parents, old friends — were and are habitually negative. I've not had encouraging, uplifting mentors to help me pry loose from self-defeatist tapes." His focus is off kilter. Few of us have had ideal, nurturing parents. (A prob- able reason why almost everyone idealizes other people's childhoods while decrying their own.) The reality princi- ple is clear: We must pry our own attention loose from self-defeating tapes. In real life, no one does this for us. Films can prod us on, providing frameworks for produc- ways to be and behave. Alice Doesn't Live Here Any More or Breaking Away tug at any existing emotional um- bilical chords of viewers of all ages and backgrounds. No tive matter how simplistic the picture, our psychic wrench- when we're still unhealthfully wrapped choking on?) deathly old scripts or suffo- cating ties. Conscious assent to wholeness requires an altered world-view, a shift of both our focus and our hardest ingis upin (and behavior.89 Follow Virtue Motion pictures are contemporary mythologies, mod- ern versions of folk and fairy tales. Like scriptures of every culture, these aid our sorting-out process; they let us commune with something alive and healthy in us that persistently cries for release. This primal, underground communion activates positive and life-supporting values, ideals, and remedies, deleting past defeats and impotence from memory. As scripture teaches, all other things are added to what- ever images we store in our minds. Therefore we would do best to saturate our awareness with themes of hope, vir- tue, and triumph. Perhaps one reason that serial movies like Star Trek, The Terminator, Lethal Weapon, and the Rocky sequels are so captivating is that these help millions feel vicariously powerful. In an era when growing uncertainty, fear, and helplessness are pandemic, films that reconnect us to our positive, personal powers may be healthy and necessary. Virtue As "No-Strife" you observe your own nature when you are perfectly calm and happy, you will find what I call "no-strife." This perfect balance seems an extraordinary zone of peace a perfect detachment, open to all. This is, I suspect, our most If — virtuous state: the point of entry to so perfect a humility — and love that we are at one time both full and empty aware of all-encompassing, incomprehensible mystery, yet unaware of "self." — There are times when we feel complete, desire/ess we have everything we could possibly want. At the same time our egocentric or social self disappears in a kind of per- fect harmony or humility. For example, people often say that when they release their hold on some weighty prob-90 Marsha Sinetar lem, they find peace of mind and total acceptance of the inevitable. This peace is no-strife. When we fill with wonder at our insignificance within the general scheme of a mysteriously grand and wondrous universe, this too is no-strife. Perhaps we're looking out over the edge of the Grand Canyon, or scuba-diving, or walking along a white-sand shoreline, bordered by miles of aquamarine ocean: At such times self-consciousness sub- sides and awareness shifts. We are present. Our fs-ness is enhanced. Initially, we think little of ourselves; then we don't think of ourselves at all. "We" disappear. This too is no-strife. Peter Sellers' character in Being There embodies no-strife, only in a caricatured fashion. He plays Chauncey Gar- dener a simple gardener, abruptly ousted from his job if — at a secure, protected estate — who becomes a national celebrity because of his uncomplicated, organic philosophy. It is unfortunate — for my descriptive purposes as well as for the formation of collective consciousness — that Gar- dener is an intellectual and emotional cripple. Few films properly illustrate no-strife, perhaps because there is noth- ing dramatic about this state of being: Gardener charms us because he just is. No-strife is an experiential instant in time as well as an impetus to ongoing transfiguration. For most adults, living in industrialized countries, even the notion of a moment of such perfect calm and happiness seems out of reach.* Many people cannot conceive of inner peace and are far from able to observe this state to discover for themselves what, if any, benefits it might deliver. They are so thoroughly scattered by overcommitments to work, money, or family it that merely considering a slower pace depresses them — seems so unattainable. The film Grand Canyon beautifully depicts this state at its conclusion.Follow Virtue 91 No-Strife Takes Practice The Buddhist precept "what you do, do that" is a key ground rule behind the various practices used to enter the silence of no-strife. Academic our mind's inner calm training and high achievement, however beneficial, do lit- tle to help us gain no-strife. No-strife demands less (not added) mental commotion and far fewer (not more) com- — plicated theories. In this, The Terminator way out of trouble — is — who blasts his passe. We best approach pure awareness by practice, not by Shunryu Suzuki, a spiritual descendent of the great Soto Zen lineage, enumerates the discipline of such intellect. a practice. It involves •mindful concentration on everyday tasks (not simply courting the peak or ecstatic instant) •single-minded "right-effort" that does away with ide- alized over-exertions and prideful ambition •selfless, non-attached giving •constancy, present-centered emptying and an available, here-and-now focus • practice (rather than intellectual debate). 5 Our upsets, opinions, illusions, and pet fictions distract us from who we truly are. These block our promise, keep us struggling and servile. Our diversions are, shall we say, stimulation agents — the powers we employ to keep our- selves emotionally stirred up. Internal noise or agitation is the commotion of human life. The great Hasidic scholar Martin Buber wrote that these preoccupations confuse us with a thousand memories and "interrupt every pure, beautiful astonishment" of exis-92 Marsha Sinetar tence. 6 As we relinquish commotions we step into a new consciousness of enhanced spirituality. Sister Lee Agnes, an author and spiritual retreat leader, wrote in A Taste of Water that she is happiest when not thinking about herself. Ordinary people not just make- believe characters in movies can practice this: — — [When I forget myself] I have no anxiety about the past, no present worry, no anticipation about the fu- ture. I am simply in the very flow of life. This is when I really enjoy life. 7 We practice no-strife whenever we concentrate fully on a task, an object, or the present moment. Some call this "mindfulness." In time and with persistence we forget our- selves. As we consciously exercise clear, non-judgmental thinking, or — as Homer Smith did — press through hard- ship so persistently that, as individuals, we are elevated, our choices invite feelings of gratefulness. We experience increased poise or a sort of dynamic gladness about what we've accomplished. These are quiet satisfactions, deep fulfillment, not hubris or self-pride. Such directions stem from a mature personal completion — a true integration of our core self into every level of our being — final integration with the deep things of existence. People who write to me about my book on right liveli- hood say that when working on tasks suited to their minds and bodies (or, conversely, when they transcend ill-suited jobs), they feel on the one hand strong and innately power- ful, and on the other, as if they have lost themselves. They become completely one with vanish into the activity — whatever they're doing. However brief, time spent in such self-forgetfulness in- troduces keen, sharp thought processes. We appreciate life in all its varied forms. We see that we are life, expressedFollow Virtue 93 diversely. Pain, grief, thoughts of limitations or actual dif- ficulty dissolve. Our usually contentious nature rests. We Chauncey Gardener, we are simple, quiet, because we have everything. Another movie giving us a look at varying facets of no-strife is Harvey, a classic comedy about Elwood Dowd (James Stewart) whose drinking buddy and constant com- lack nothing. Like panion is Harvey, a giant, invisible white rabbit. Dowd is a generous, sweet-tempered, middle-aged bachelor who enjoys his drink a bit too much. Dowd exists in a gentle reality ("I've wrestled with reality for 35 years, and I'm happy, doctor. I've finally won out over it."). 8 By every account Dowd is content and unflappable. He even his befriends everyone and genuinely likes people enemies, such as his older sister, Veta (Josephine Hall), who is plotting to have him certified insane. Whatever else we think of Dowd (especially in this age of anti- alcoholism), we could do worse than adopt his serene, communal philosophy of life: — . we sit in the bars Harvey and I have things to do ...have a drink or two and [soon we're talking to everyone]. We came as strangers [but we don't leave that way]. 9 No-Strife: Bit by Bit Into Being Brother Lawrence, an uncomplicated monastic who lived in the 1600s (and who sounded very Buddhist when say- ing he felt that "useless thoughts spoil all"), admitted that specific contemplative techniques did not help him con- trol his prayers. Physical mortifications also seemed to him quite pointless. Instead Brother Lawrence devoted himself to God during his normal daily chores, leaning on God for94 Marsha Sinetar the tiniest efforts required to accomplish household chores like cooking and cleaning. Lawrence forgave himself for his failings whenever his mind strayed. Then, with what he called "little internal adorations" he came, bit by bit, into mystical union with God. "Lord," he prayed, "I cannot do [this task] unless thou enablest me." 10 His modest practice let him empty himself of all self-serving efforts. This is what it means to practice a vir- tue: In the most usual, non-spectacular circumstances we ourselves create the means by which we build our decency. — The contours and context of our life relationships, work, talents are employed to exercise whatever is good in us. As we practice no-strife, we discover that what feels "bad" may contribute to our greatest good. We notice what we're doing. The shy person consciously reaches out to — others. Extroverts learn to hold their tongues. These are growthful choices although these actions disturb initially. For instance, a harsh attack on our egotistical tenden- cies can prod us to reclaim our objective attention, bring us back to our practice. This is precisely when an ordeal can become a consolation, a blessing in disguise. Paradoxically, the path to no-strife often begins with more trouble, not As we watch our emotions and our body's language, discomfort can point the way to our growth. less. Gurdjieff, a legendary Russian mystic, often imposed conscious labor and intentional suffering on his follow- ers. One of his maxims was that we should do what it hates. By it he meant our usual, conventional self, that in us which craves comfort, approval, and safety. Gurdjieff be- lieved that hardship prolonged life when it awakened us to our uncontrollable habits and separated, self-abusive way of being. He taught his disciples to "freeze" their habitual pos- tures when, for instance, they were gardening, walking, By holding other poses for long stretches of or dancing.time, they could observe both body and mind and their "very stupid, painful, erotic, fantastic thoughts, feelings, and sensations." Thereby his students jolted themselves into recognition of what they really said or did to them- selves. Gurdjieff often achieved the same ends by assigning seekers to jobs they detested. No-strife also releases 11 new energies. Whereas uncon- scious habits and feelings erode hope and can weigh us down, our clear unencumbered awareness frees up life's vi- tality. We feel lighter, happier, and at ease in our own skins. Movies offer us heroes and heroines who grow "lighter, happier and at ease in their own skins." Their acts and attitudes are virtuous and brave. These carry the mystical message. Virtue and Search for Meaning Among several provocative themes in Educating Rita, the search for meaning is key. Rita's quest for knowledge and a more refined life suggests that personal direction revital- izes our life. Rita (Julie Walters) is a bright young woman, desperate for a college education. Having a blue-collar her- itage, her husband and her father hate the fact she's trying to improve her lot. When Rita enrolls in an independent study program in English Literature, her tutor (Michael Caine) finds he's revitalized by this Pygmalion project. He willingly helps Rita undergo a predictable metamorphosis (and he changes in the process). She learns superbly. Yet the reality principle exhorts — neither Rita nor her tutor grow without grave self-scrutiny and, again, steep personal costs. In one scene, Rita is having a drink with her family at a local pub. Music blares loudly; everyone in the place is singing, drinking beer, and generally having a grand time.96 Marsha Sinetar Rita notices her mother sitting quietly amidst the raucous crowd, tears streaming down her face, and asks why she's crying. Her mother admits despair: "I can't help feeling that maybe I could have found a better song to sing for my life." Often virtue is a force in us longing for more life, bet- ter life, elevated morality, or something noble, pure, and lovely currently beyond us. Our basic decency frequently asks us to exercise our good will, to sacrifice comfort as we know it, for far off, invisible goals representing our per- sonal aesthetic. 12 In aiming for these we can easily despair, question our motives, doubt ourselves, perhaps hate our- selves for hurting those from whom we sense we must pull away. Whatever our age, gender, or background, Educating Rita reminds us that courage, boldness, and risk-taking are absolute requirements of a virtuous life. It is not enough to merely think positively: Eventually, we must behave decently, bravely, positively. Overarching life purposes also become obvious as we leave our familiar setting to express new interests or tal- ents. While engrossed in a challenging career, while danc- ing, singing or painting, or involved in charitable projects, just when we for- we know our best self. It is then that we find what we've searched get or lose ourselves for: our goodness, competence, or some deep, sweet joy. — — John Muir's exquisite sentiments reveal exactly this. Muir, an intimate of no-strife, cultivated this virtue in his own, organic, meandering way: would rather stand in what all the world would call an idle manner, literally gaping with all the mouths of soul and body, demanding nothing, fearing noth- ing, but hoping and enjoying enormously. So-called sentimental, transcendental dreaming seems the only I97 Follow Virtue sensible and substantial business that one can engage in. 13 To manage our attention, as did Muir, means emptying ourselves of our usual fretting, gossiping, or restless ways. Observant and attentive to some high, organizing goal or healing element within, we begin to release strife. Thus are we fortified. Whether we commit to higher education, selfless ser- vice, or to a creative project; whether, like Muir, we adore nature or (as Brother Lawrence, Gurdjieff, Martin Buber, and Meister Eckhart) devote ourselves more directly to God, virtue a wholly new and transfiguring aware- ness deepens us and ultimately simplifies life. — — Virtue Sees the Folly in "Success" In Resurrection, heroine Edna McCauley (Ellen Burstyn) dis- covers, after a near-death experience, she hasenormous healing powers. People flock to her seekingrelief. She quickly becomes a celebrity. The large-hearted McCauley wants to cure everyone, but soon finds herself entrenched in hype and religious conflict. Her success introduces her to a pressure-cooker existence. Ultimately, her own crisis stimulates her wish for a quiet, devotional life, though she is far from traditionally religious. McCauley's notability — — an excess of worldly "success" and her own enlight- enment makes her want a self-forgetful life. This same path is sought by all whose compulsive achievement like — McCauley's — — begets inner wholeness. Material success is folly if it separates us from our virtue. Some of us, like Edna McCauley, are so enmeshed in the business of daily life that we may need to be shocked into doing less. What begins as trauma can end in rare bless-98 Marsha Sinetar ings if we follow virtue — persist in its expression. Heart attacks, or bouts with other serious illnesses, financial bur- dens, or rejection by those we love can force us back to basics, to pay attention to our life. No-strife helps us focus by simply asking us to re- spond appropriately to whatever is needed here and now. We stick to washing the kitchen floor despite our bore- dom. Without complaining, we paint the fence or water our lawn. We listen to a friend who needs to talk. This practice has few rules or fixed conditions; no smart systems theories help us. We just give ourselves to whatever we are doing. Practicing no-strife does not mean denying stress. Rather we enter fully into the heart of life. Moonstruck s theme, along these lines, reminds us that the world can trip us up in other ways. Cher plays a young widow who nearly marries the wrong man for all the right reasons. It's time for her to remarry. She wants a home and security. Her fiance (Danny Aiello) is stable and reliable. Logic tells her this will be a "successful mar- riage." When she falls passionately, head-over-heels in love — another person with her fiancees brother (Nicolas Cage) life until love awakens him the hero- who's hiding from ine finally summons up the courage to reach for what she needs. All the major characters in this story mother (Olympia Dukakis), and Cage — — Cher, her — assert themselves uniquely in the name of love. There are virtues here. And lessons. Movies like Moonstruck also talk to us about the down- side of carrying excessive emotional baggage. We may have been only dimly aware that some of our problems really have nothing to do with us, but we have nonetheless as- sumed responsibility (and guilt) for them. In a flash of insight we can gain new objectivity. However slight, this lets us put much needed emotional distance between some-Follow Virtue 99 one else's limitations and our own feelings. We stop taking responsibility for another's upset. (This is no-strife.) Our perspective shifts toward greater equanimity and balance. Perhaps all that changes is our attitude, but something within alters toward greater joy or lightness. In time, we could even gain the audacity to quietly con- front others, saying something like, "You seem to have a problem with this. How will you handle it?" When we hear ourselves voicing plain-spoken objections to unneces- sary extraneous turmoil, we know we are becoming more responsible for our own life. This too is virtue. If we cease owning other's unhappinesses, we learn what cheerful individuals have always known: It is pos- sible to step out of the way of someone else's misery and avoid leading a dejected life ourselves. Ironically, emotional distance generates the very insights this we want, from which enhanced and workable solutions soon flow. Such heightened awareness and lessened melodrama also build true interpersonal skills: authenticity, effective and diplomacy (not to be confused with sarcasm or manipulation). self-disclosure, By learning the art of taking care of our own needs, we grow socially adroit. In itself this rare quality im- proves our chances of being heard. Characters like those in Agatha Christie's Miss Marple (played by almost anyone), Mr. Belvedere (Clifton Webb), Auntie Mame (Rosalind Rus- sell), the butler in Arthur (John Gielgud), or Black Widow (Debra Winger) reveal the myriad disguises such adroit- ness could take. It simply makes good sense, is productive, practical, and liberating to teach others how we wish to be treated. This means setting limits for others in how they deal with us and responsibly taking the consequences. Movies can — teach us "how." —100 Marsha Sinetar Virtue: Releasing Fear Stimulants Fear-thoughts can be intense stimulants. We frighten our- selves in our own individual ways. Almost all of us have worried about the things we dread: financial ruin, health problems, or some other potential horrors. With these chronic, anxious notions we prop ourselves up when we're bored or unchallenged. We may use anxiety to motivate ourselves toward greater worldly achieve- ments or reinforce our masochism and thus keep ourselves off balance. We excite ourselves with such thinking to spice up an otherwise dull and meaningless existence or to prevent ourselves from sloughing off. Students who wait until the last minute to write a term paper often frighten themselves into last-minute studying. Children use horror (e.g., tales of ghosts and scary to me, obscenely violent stories like Friday the Thirteenth) as — — a means to outgrow their fears. (So do adults.) Movies that pit good against evil are fairy tales helping young people face their worst nightmares. Steven Spielberg's contempo- rary classic E.T. is wildly popular with children, in part because of Spielberg's genius at sustaining tension between good and evil in fresh, surprising ways. Almost any movie (even television sitcoms) can help both children and adults desensitize themselves to terroris- tic inner visions by their repeated immersion in the fictions of the very thing feared. Humans rarely tire of fanciful sto- ries that let them face loss, the unknown, hardship, fears of abandonment, anger, and punishment. In our minds we re- hearse and resolve a thousand events that never take place in actuality. Such rehearsal invites growth. *We must thank Spielberg for so generously reframing the relationship between humans and extraterrestrials toward loving, peaceful friendship. E.T. and Close Encounters of the Third Kind amount to a seed-change in consciousness of no small value.Follow Virtue 101 Some people depend on panic for excitement. A friend calls this being a "crisis junkie." She says she's met her fair share of them. No doubt, so have we. Many corporate executives exhibit this tendency. Movies about virtuous people could lead us back to an ordinary, uneventful life. To crisis junkies like Bill (men- tioned earlier) or Alfie or us, the humanizing goals of vir- intimacy, commitment, or personal transparency tue — — represent a dangerous choice. Full engagement with a vocation or a person (in friend- ship, marriage, or parenting) requires a slow, tedious in- vestment of steady effort. This obligation puts anyone at risk. Your Favorite Films, Your Own Virtue As noted, virtue adopts numerous disguises. Yet uniformly it mysteriously extends our reach, permits our exercise of personal agency and power. Movies can show us our unique path into this effectiveness. In The Big Picture, Kevin Bacon plays a young director who (much like Bud Fox of Wall Street) is unwholesomely seduced by the glitzy prospects of fame, money, and working at what he loves making movies. After experiencing costly emotional best and financial losses from unsuccessfully filming other peo- — ple's stories, Bacon finally risks directing a picture he's had in his mind. In the film's last scene, his colleagues are amazed, their faces full of wonder and childlike appreciation as they view his finished film, his personal vision. We too may be protecting a fragile, private vision or have some odd but lovely idea about how life might be at its best. Were we to express this beautifully, it too could in- spire others. More importantly, by expressing our vision102 Marsha Sinetar gracefully, we would simultaneously cultivate our own virtue. When considering how to best express what Goethe termed your "acts of initiative and creation/' it helps to reflect on open-ended questions like these: • What movies predictably renew my vigor, personal power, and willingness to move beyond myself as I am now? What virtues must I develop in order to accomplish this? • What movies make me hunger for more life, better life, an expanded ability to express some elevated ethic or something I value (but think is out of reach)? • How have films helped me identify the seeds of success something I thought at first to be " failure "? Have any movies ever helped me through sadness, personal crisis, or moved me from turmoil to some semblance of in regained stability or inner peace (no-strife)? If so, what were they? Can I find a pattern in these? • What movies would I want my children (or the children of future generations) to view as they develop their life's values and significant purposes? (Try to sense out of your list to determine make how these have affected your own life for the better.) • What movies would I want shown, studied, and dis- cussed in, say, a prison or rehabilitation center and why? (// you like your list, consider sending it, and a copy of this book, to your local state prison official or drug reltabilitation center.)-:/<:-:; .-., 1Q3 Nat aft at anoev of CEwmse, but5 It's amazing! The love inside — You — Sam Ghosts take it with you.FOLLOW LOVE In the end, though, the solution is Love... And love, it seems to me, implies the realization that perhaps already those subject to us know our failings very well, and ac- cept them with love, and would not dream of holding them against us, because they know these things do not matter. That is the great consolation: in the joy of being known and forgiven, we find it so much easier to forgive everything, even before it happens. — Thomas Merton, The Hidden Ground of Love Wholeness is a fuzzy, ambiguous concept — hard to define or quantify. Perhaps this explains why the psycho- logical literature so thoroughly details mental illness, yet so obviously lacks words for a notion like wholeness. Wholeness means robust psychological health, the growth toward authenticity and personal power. We grow whole as we become aware, assimilate and integrate our buried, rejected, unconscious, or fractional selves. The pro- cess is unending; self-acceptance and respect for others are natural byproducts of such robustness. We also learn to love, to forgive, and to commit to something — it almost doesn't matter what. Whole people are not necessarily docile, accommodat- even "well-adjusted." They don't live according to national polls or popular norms. They are not passive ing, or 105106 Marsha Sinetar nice-guys, constantly smiling or accommodating us. They actively belong to themselves, strive to be uniquely their own. This is not an easy achievement. Without love agape; compassion; genuine regard for self and others wholeness eludes us. — — In To Kill a Mockingbird, small-town lawyer Atticus Finch (Gregory Peck) assumes the defense of Tom Robinson, a black man accused of raping a white woman. We know this plot spells trouble for everyone concerned. The quiet, self- possessed lawyer is intellectual, a somber philosopher, a widower living with his children in a rural, Depression-era southern town. Atticus Finch takes on the unpopular case despite sensing that a vengeful community and would- be lynch mob could harm him, his two children, and his client. The movie (adapted from author Harper Lee's provides one model of the self-actualizing temperament. Atticus Finch shares many traits with other classic novel) self-actualizing persons, among which are •a superior perception of reality •an increased acceptance of self, others, and nature •increased spontaneity and solution-orientation (as op- posed to being problem-centered) •increased detachment and autonomy (greater resistance to enculturation, the opinions of others, etc.) • democratic character structure (including improved in- terpersonal relationships and increased identifications with the human species) 1 Models for Wholeness and Love You may be reading this book because you are at a turning point in life: changing jobs or relationships or recuperatingFollow Love 107 from a setback or illness. Perhaps you realize you're living working at jobs that wear you out because they're too easy, or associating with people far below your ability level — whose influence is unproductive or negative. It's possible that you are one of several million adults in this country who have too many problems and too little joy. It takes hard work to become more of a human being — emotionally healthy and fully integrated. This is especially true for those hoping to express their mature spirituality. Meister Eckhart's lines, "... working and becoming are the same. When the carpenter stops working, the house stops becoming," put our efforts in proper perspective. Research on dysfunctional behavior suggests that wholesome, non-addictive conduct is linked, as suggested earlier, to meaningful self-expression. The healthier we are the more likely it is that we forfeit self-involvement in order to function. When we do our daily chores in an aware, creative, and conscientious way, we tend to remain in control of ourselves in other areas. The reverse is also true: If we slough off insignificant tasks or obligations, this is often a sign that negative self-feelings or tendencies lurk be- neath our awareness. Later, we may "shoot up" — binge on food, drink, or other habitual dependencies. In other words, our normal behaviors mirror our feelings. And vice-versa. Our simplest acts predict our futures. These improve (or undermine) our self-opinions. As we grow whole, our conduct demonstrates that health. Atticus Finch's example broadens our understanding about what attitudes and acts are required of us as responsible adults. Finch's choices and his demeanor reveal love: for life, for his children, for certain freely-chosen sacred principles that, to him, give meaning. He is, in all respects, a virtuous individual who embodies strong regard for values such as justice, life108 Marsha Sinetar and compassion. It is not too much to say that his own and others' as a fact of life. However charming we think we are, with- out wholeness we feel, along with Waldo (Clifton Webb) in fairness, Finch accepts human frailty — — my case, self-absorption is completely justified, I have never discovered any other subject so worthy of my Laura, "In attention." Love: Accepting Shadows and Uncertainty Dr. Carl Rogers, the distinguished American psychologist, writing early in the human-potential movement, relied on Kierkegaard's phrase, "To be that is," self which one truly when describing the aims of those with psychological health. This means such people learn to welcome whatever is authentic in themselves — their flaws and virtues, their strangeness and strengths, the big and little shadows of their secret self. Even when these dark energies are less than flattering to an idealized self-image, a maturely loving person suc- ceeds in resolving the paradox, feels warm regard for self and others. Atticus Finch reveals just this type of maturely loving person: His inner stance bears close inspection. Rogers also observed that, as his healthiest clients neared wholeness, they actively strived for autonomy. They enjoyed answering life's big questions for themselves (e.g., "Who am I?" "What do I value?" "What are my life's goals?" "What's my purpose?"). Again, Atticus Finch models this self-sufficiency. Like Finch's character, Carl Rogers' most robust clients, when whole, struggled to outgrow their facades and pretensions. They sought inde- accepted their feelings, pendence and were self-loving — for better or worse. Non-judgmental self-acceptance is but a prelude to theFollow Love 109 wholeness we want. Otherwise it could provide an excuse to continue unproductive or even morally wrong behav- ior. For instance, we might say to ourselves, "So I cheated that fellow. That's OK, I accept that I'm a cheater." For peo- ple seeking self-realization, the point of self-acceptance is merely the first step in new growth. By practicing virtue we cross over significant thresholds of authenticity. We begin using all our inclinations and sub- selves as partners in actualizing our life. The previously "too-sensitive" individual soon finds that his sensitivity is a higher intelligence of sorts, an important interpersonal an adaptive mechanism that helps him screening device discern what others need, want, or communicate. The "too- aggressive" person realizes that she uses her dominance to exert control. If she redirects this dominance into enthusi- asm she has an energy with which to lead, influence, or — — express life. Expressing these formerly rejected bits of self produc- we grow whole. A host of new inner resources become available to us. We embrace our buried traits or unacceptable energies and turn these toward our creative tively, ventures. If we can just accept the fact that we're fearful, compulsive, or conceited, eventually we can stop undercut- ting ourselves and learn to serve life with these very forces (instead of doing ourselves in with them). Almost any trait can be used to further our best self if we make it a faithful servant to our good. An aspect of this phenomenon is revealed in the first Karate Kid movie, another strong fairy tale reinforcing the reality principle. In The Karate Kid, Ralph Macchio plays Daniel, a teenager who's the new kid on the block. Daniel is hounded by a gang of neighborhood toughs and must fight to survive. As good fortune has it, a wise, all-knowing mentor (Noriyuki "Pat" Morita) befriends Daniel and pa- tiently instructs him in the fine art of directing all his110 Marsha Sinetar energies at a single still point — in this case, his opponent's face. In his splendid Film Guide, movie critic Leslie Halli- well admits that this movie's "... huge commercial success in the U.S. remains mystifying." 2 People usually like a film when they see themselves in it. Most of us long to harness our mind's deeper powers. We intuitively know there's more to us than meets the eye. Like Daniel, almost everyone is plagued by fears or nameless anxieties. Our contemporary culture provides us with a sobering obstacle course: rapid change, economic uncertainties, and the added demands of new personal roles may seem like bullies. Any of these problems can do us in if we're un- incompetent fighters. Then too, Daniel's enviable relationship with his teacher is archetypical of the loving, good parent/child union that everyone wants (and that al- skilled, most no one has). Through trusted, enlightened friendship Macchio's character grows stunningly, expertly capable of focusing his inner powers against all outer foes (instead of being crippled by these). I repeat: We can view even simple films as stories about deeper, human issues and qualities rather than identify with these narrowly as race, culture, or gender narratives. A movie about any small subculture can be studied in its larger, universal context. This is fortunate since few movies exist with the images and metaphors to help di- verse viewers — minorities, the elderly, etc. — develop their uniqueness. For instance, we can watch Baby Boom as a humorous portrayal of comedian Diane Keaton coming to her senses as a whole person Initially, — not simply as a woman. Keaton's character is a fast-track, self-reliant executive, obsessed with success. She's working herself into an early grave. When she inherits a baby, Keaton is a typical Supermom who tries to keep everything going111 Follow Love smoothly. For this single parent, there aren't enough hours in the day to efficiently tend to the hearth and the corporate profits. Alas, realistically, her boss faults her when family demands lower her finesse and productivity. When Keaton retires to a picturesque farm, as work pressures subside, her ever-more vibrant, entrepreneurial powers are unleashed, and she becomes a self-made mil- lionaire in yet this second arena. Author Tom O'Brien 3 called Baby Boom "nearly worthless," but fatigued execu- tives everywhere (and not just women) will identify with as in life Keaton. The reality principle in this movie — — is that we hurt ourselves when trying to make everyone happy. A movie must be specific if abstract, it is to reach us. Overly preachy stories are thin, charmless affairs. Still, while watching movies about women executives or male bartenders, we can translate particulars into broad-gauged terms, "read" a film as we do poetry or novels, find meta- phors and symbols of good and evil, joy or frustration, success and failure in any plot. This is not complicated not at all like suffering through a dreary homework assignment. Rather, this con- version from individual to universal elements is an auto- matic, empathic reflex of spiritually mature minds. Chil- dren easily accomplish this. prac- City Slickers is most obviously a man's film — — men's movement picture: Three ordinary guys, friends since boyhood, experience a kind of early, middle- aged crisis en masse. Mitch (Billy Crystal) is nearly forty and depressed about it. ("Did you ever reach a point in your life where you say to yourself, 'This is the best I'm ever going to [look, feel, and do] and it ain't that great'?"); Phil (Daniel Stern) loathes his loathsome wife ("If hate were people, I'd be China."); and Ed (Bruno Kirby) is like a rat in a macho-man's maze obses- tically a —112 Marsha Sinetar sively chasing women and wild adventure to prove his worth. They decide that an interlude at a dude ranch (what else?) will pump the vigor and meaning of youth back into their dying veins, and they head off for two weeks in Arizona to ride the range. Their plan succeeds, but only because they themselves regenerate their own competence and power as whole persons, "penetrate their daily life with active love." Each man overcomes fear, regret, and feelings of inadequacy by resurrecting his vision and by striving to achieve it. It is sheer nonsense to assume that only men of a certain powerless or frightened. Everyone feels helpless age at times. Futility and despair are our shared human con- feel dition. Kafka, Castaneda, Kierkegaard, — and Nietzsche this one among other geniuses — continually wrestled with theme in their writings. Psychiatrist Dr. Erich Fromm suggests that most of us are too psychically weak to sustain awareness of such de- spair. We hide our truths from ourselves because it is far too threatening for us — "as average normal persons" — to acknowledge such desperate feelings. Therefore, we look the other way, attempt to escape what Kierkegaard called our "sickness unto death." We submit to strong leaders (e.g., as in Fascist countries), we conform compulsively (e.g., as in America's Wall Street culture), or run off with pals to dude ranches: [This helplessness] is covered over by the daily rou- tine of [the average person's life], by the assurance and approval he finds in his private or social relations, by success in business, by any number of distrac- tions, by "having fun," "making contacts," "going places." But whistling in the dark does not bring light. Aloneness, fear and bewilderment remain. 4113 Follow Love Humor is one way to spot our own despairing feelings. What we laugh at in others illuminates traits usually hov- ering about within — beneath the surface of awareness. If we experience exaggerated feelings (like anger, disgust, re- coil) about others, or somehow feel vulnerable as we watch a movie, this too may say that we are close to identifying some hidden, shadowy, rejected aspect of ourselves. 5 For all their flaws and flatness, Baby Boom and City Slickers gaily rub our noses (once again) in reality: Less is more. You can't serve two masters. If you focus lovingly, even personal power and your life's most cher- the recovery of passionately on a single dream, any thing's possible — ished purposes. Wholeness requires commitment, steady focused inten- tion, and pluck. It asks us to examine what we want or what previously we've avoided. Carl Rogers believed that as we grow healthy we assume responsibility for our actions and relinquish our need for safety, fixity, and closure, cultivating a sort of flowing life-process, "an in- and tegrated process of changingness." 6 Like Curley in City Slickers or like eventually Mitch, Ed, and Phil Macchio's and Keaton's characters, this means we willingly step out into our projects and goals without guarantees of — — success. Love Means "No Free Lunch" The internationally recognized author and psychoanalyst Dr. Alice Miller stresses that genuine emotional well-being is costly. If we truly explore our childhood's pain, we admit into awareness the uncut, unedited version of our young lives. We might discover, upon looking, that childhood was a time of powerlessness, manipulation, or abuse. Becoming114 Marsha Sinetar aware of these buried hurts is only a first step to cultivating the mature love that undergirds psychological well-being. Most people fear looking at their pasts, and therefore deny much that is sad, vulnerable, angry, or abusive. For robust mental health we must acknowledge any remain- ing rage, helplessness, desire for revenge, and sorrow over betrayals. Although as adults we may still long for loving, wise parental attention, most of our parents were not generously attentive like Atticus Finch. Our parents had problems of their own. They may have been infantile, or otherwise poorly equipped, to deal with their problems (or with us). As we grow whole, we forgive them totally forget. Mourning seems essential It is — even if we don't — not recrimination or blame. cathartic to grieve for lost, lonely years or our own lies. These behaviors, like self-acceptance, restore aliveness and regenerate humanity but are not instant, easy accom- plishments. A superior level of mental health gives us the courage to face the past, to forgive, to feel what we feel at present, and to get on with life effectively. Only then do we proceed with the work of our own au- thentic life. This too calls for courage and personal power. Miller reminds us there is always more to do: [After therapy has been completed] it is up to the pa- tient whether he wants to live alone, or with a partner; whether he wants to join a political party, and if so, his life story, his experiences and what which one he has learned from them will all play a role in how he will live. It is not the task of the analyst to "social- ize" him or to "bring him up" (not even politically, for every form of bringing up denies his autonomy), nor . . . to make friendships for him affair. 7 — all of that is his ownFollow Love 115 A loving, trusted relationship (as found in The Karate Kid); a warm, enduring marriage; deep and constant affec- tion for a child, friend, or family member — all these and much more can work therapeutic magic. At first, healing comes by being loved, by having a good, stable, selfless parent (e.g., Atticus Finch). Eventually, it is not so much the love we get that reconciles us, makes us whole, but rather the love we give. A New Leaf tenderly illustrates how this transformation and turn-about happens to one ambitionless, self-indulgent man (Walter Matthau). In this story, a loveless, aging bach- elor has squandered his considerable inheritance on sports cars, custom clothes, and riotous living. Desperately afraid to work, Matthau plots to marry a rich woman so as to murder her for her money. ("I don't want to share things, I want to own them all by myself.") Enter Elaine May, a botanist — his intended victim. and kindly but totally inept. Although brilliant, the stereotypically absentminded professor is so She's generous socially regressed, so clumsy, she can't dress or feed her- self correctly. May's character is also a pushover for her thieving hired help. As the two move awkwardly through an assortment of newlywed experiences, we watch Matthau growing up. Love works its mysterious alchemy in his psyche. From the start his wife trusts and adores him. Both individuals benefit from this. Long months of caring for her somehow touch Matthau too. Paternally, he inspects his wife each morning before she goes to work. He cuts off dress tags that hang from her new clothes, or wipes bits of egg yolk from the corners of her mouth. Soon he's expertly organizing her financial affairs and firing her disreputable household staff. Respon- sibility (i.e., one of love's disguises) strengthens Matthau. He finds talents and skills he never knew he had.116 Marsha Sinetar In addition to its "work improves your character" theme, this sweet tale underscores another reality principle: Compassionate love (given or received) softens the stoni- est heart. Love raises self-esteem (both May and Matthau bloom) and seeds lasting emotional health. By movie's end, an endearing scoundrel is reformed. (He's even agreed, with May's steady [maternal?] encouragement, to become a history professor.) True love is established and the pair live happily ever after. Solitude and Autonomy In Living Happily Ever After I suggested that three criti- cal factors help us accept an otherwise unacceptable past. These allow us to investigate our personal history with ob- jectivity, and, eventually, to build solid mental health. First, we need positive self-value. Certainly this quality, over time, can come with competent, caring therapy or (for some) with prudent self-study. Second, learning resourcefulness leverages what we currently know into new, untried areas of effort. Finally, we need a strong drive toward autonomy. None of this is a quick-fix. Too many of us lack and want encouraging support sys- tems. We have not found a mentor like Miyaji in The Karate Kid or a model of tough authenticity like Curley (City Slick- We may feel alone and vulnerable. Yet a hallmark of wholeness is that we want to proceed on our own. We relish ers). our independence. Autonomy and aloneness (not to be confused with rebellious loneliness) are purifying elements, much sought- after luxuries we instinctively crave as we move toward self-realization. Much of this coming into our own as authentic persons entails our doing "psychological home-Follow Love 117 work," as outlined above, like the dismantling of old myths. Here is when we need inspiring new stories, language, and symbols as metaphors and frameworks for our healing or moving-on. Stories that provide us with heroic motifs and patterns reveal ways to re-create life's adventure and then live this with a renewed mind. 8 Thanks to the VCR, one new aid to self-knowledge is the great library of videotape movies so easily available. When love is the sub-text of the tales that we ponder, both our unacceptable and acceptable features are easier to embrace and express. All this (the undoing of previous fictions, the emer- gence of skills, the finding of our true purposes — the whole enchilada) demands patience, tolerances, and self- compassion. The gaining of vibrant personal power comes not from hurdling over some single, finite obstacle. Nor does such power increase if we try to "know ourselves" in merely a conceited narcissistic way. Reel Power entails watching movies in an objective cog- itating way, with objective self-criticism. We're disentan- gling ourselves from illusions, making sense and meaning out of our lives, learning how best to live, and finding out to what one, superordinate thing we would devote our life — how to invest our life with active love. Life's big questions include determining our overarch- ing purposes: Where do we fit into the scheme of things? How do we productively relate to others? What do we hold sacred? And what on earth (or out of it) do we believe? Movies viewed reflectively, talks with trusted friends about some of these issues, short-term therapy or spiritual direction can help us find our own answers. This means we'll know the kinds of heroes and heroines we have in us or the story that we want to live. Slowly, slowly, as118 Marsha Sinetar Gertrude Stein wrote, "the history of each one comes out of each one." We elevate our self-opinion as we recast ourselves in healthier, lovelier, or more courageous roles. (I can't fathom why educators and community activists haven't yet uti- lized the good lessons in movies when attempting to elevate youngsters' self-esteem.) This recasting of life, this heroic retelling of our own story serious, is engaging work. Undertaken over time (perhaps over a lifetime) it builds self-respect. Dr. Thomas Szasz's remark that "self-respect gen is to the body" 9 is to the soul as oxy- that as we step forward we begin living "the good means into virtuous self-creation, life." The "Good Life" I rather like Paul Tillich's description of the good life: "life 10 Contrast his definition with willing to surpassitself." the notion of thegood life as conventionally transmit- ted by highly glamorized stories about worldly success, like the movie Wall Street or the popular TV show, Rich and Famous. Wall Street posits a phi- losophy of fulfillment gained through chic and glamorous images, the rewards of amorality and ruthlessness em- bodied in the smarmy stock manipulator, Gordon Gekko. His line "greed is good" I heard often quoted by corpo- rate colleagues who apparently adopted this new frame to justify their own voracious appetites for wealth and Lifestyles of the power. Judith Williamson, writing in New Statesman, com- pared Wall Street to a slick business tabloid, calling it an "extraordinary eroticisation of money in this sexually troubled era."Follow Love 119 The financial flow-chart is the center-fold pinup; look- ing good is for impressing clients not lovers; keeping fit is about performance at the office, not in bed. 11 Of course, economic security may help us initially to achieve emotional security. I do not suggest otherwise. Ex- traordinary busyness, however, is a diversion that only makes us strangers to ourselves and erodes true self- mastery. Films can be guideposts along our way to deter- mining how much is too much activity. Babette's Feast, To Kill a Mockingbird, and Emma's even City Slickers teach that personal power Shadow engagement with life's stren- vigorous, conscious demands uous passages. Experience obliges us to develop strength of character, not pumped-up bank accounts. Ultimately, only faithful self-surrender to our life's highest purposes em- power us. Bud Fox discovers this for himself when his bid for approval by Gordon Gekko results in personal — — ruin. If our aim is to "retrain" ourselves; if we want to function effectively; if we yearn for self-realization in our vocational or relational life; if we would outgrow anger, sadness, depression, isolation, or despair, then as Tillich suggests, our life — as we now know — must surpass it must express its truths. This too is love. comes not merely when we recover from childhood's blows and disenchantments but as we actively penetrate our daily realities with our talents, creativity, and the full potency or truth of our own humanity. Not an easy agenda. Not necessarily a "happy" objective. Big Daddy's itself, It — — (Burl Ives) speech in Tennessee Williams' Cat on a Hot Tin Roof tells it as it is: Truth is pain and sweat and paying bills and making love to a woman that you don't love any more. Truth120 Marsha Sinetar is dreams that don't come true and nobody prints your name in the paper until you die. 12 Self-loathing Resists Personal Power and Wholeness When we don't want to understand something, we re- sist and withdraw energy and attention from it. The topic of human power ting issue (i.e., personal power) — an issue we fear. is often an upset- We tend to shy away from those truths that say we can be or do more as individuals. Those who loathe themselves, the weak, do not like the fact that they can be strong. Our weaknesses and inepti- tude let us remain safe, cozily tucked away in our familiar shells. Notice the way many of us thwart ourselves just as we start to make progress in our lives. We get bored and quit the very task or employment that handsomely rewards us. We become bashful or flustered at compliments or even the thought of our own merit. We seek excitement in the wrong places — from courting the approval of powerful people to indulging in extramarital affairs, gambling, or other allur- ing but negative digressions. In this, we all have feet of clay. It was, I believe, Gandhi who said that people seek rules and regulations to guide every iota of conduct because they don't want to behave responsibly, as they already know or, at the very least, they should. He meant we dodge the inconvenience of our high, fine impulses by delay asking "how" to develop these. Our virtue is our truest power, and wholeness draws it out of hiding. While films like Gandhi and The Auto- — — biography of Miss Jane Pittman are much like hagiographyFollow Love 121 (one-sided chronicles of saintly persons), they nevertheless provide powerful vignettes that show how virtue enables potent self-expression. Abraham Maslow wrote that most of us struggle against the knowledge of our personal greatness. I agree. The thought of displaying inordinate pride or self-confidence may be more distasteful to some of us than honest admis- sion of our strengths or the living out of our "beautiful, brave tendencies." 13 Many of us here learn to deny that we have beauti- brave tendencies. Our parents may have been stingy ful, with praise, cautioning, "Don't tell that child he /she's done that'll result in swellheadedness." (I frequently well meet business executives who crave compliments but who cannot bring themselves to commend anyone, least of all themselves. Surely they were raised in such miserly — environments.) Almost all of us experience strong inner forces that can (if we consent) separate us from bold, virtuous self- affirmation. For instance, we attach ourselves to toxic forms of work or to the wrong friends or family members. We eat or drink more than is healthy. We squander precious time and attention to compulsive worry and imprint the most banal images on our awareness from soap operas on TV or violent films, undermining ourselves with base and negative ideas. We are fortunate when the pinpricks of conscience awaken us to what the American philosopher John Elof Boodin called a "hidden instinct for unity." 14 No less a man than Saint Augustine was grateful for inner discom- forts. These ultimately turned his life around and led him to spiritual completion: Thou rouse me, that I should be ill at ease, until Thou wert manifested ...by inward goads didst122 to Marsha Sinetar my inward sight ... by the smarting anointings of healthful sorrow was [I] from day to day healed. 15 As in the films described in these chapters, "healthful sorrows" arrive in varied forms: illness, divorce, the pain of some public humiliation or error. Like Augustine we too can be thankful for any goad that helps us see we've strayed from our life's true purposes. Our despair becomes an opportunity in disguise. We can use whatever comes along in the service of self- realization, no longer striving for grandiose objectives or merely to be comfortable. Whatever our station in life, with character we discover that who we are has nothing to do with either pain or pleasure. This, taught the Zen mas- ter Ying-An, is much like perfecting an art like archery: "... eventually you reach a point where ideas are ended and feelings forgotten, target." and then you suddenly hit the 16 Virtue Empowers Us I'm not alone in stressing that, from the earliest of times, those who live their authenticity are threatening to others. 17 Individuals who follow the dictates of their conscience are generally ridiculed or rejected (or worse) during their own life. Later, they may be hailed as heroes. Sir Thomas More, to cite one example, lost his life when he would not bless his king's marriage (Henry VIII). More was beheaded for his act of conscience. A Man for All Seasons clarifies the hazards of making waves. More was acknowl- edged a saint, we must not cut ourselves off from him by believing that he was prissy or somehow inhumanly Despite the fact that ultimatelygreat. He is our brother — a true kindred spirit. Of him, playwright Robert Bolt generously says, Thomas More, as I wrote about him, became for me a man with an adamantine sense of his own self. He knew where he began and where he left off, what area of himself he could yield to the encroachments of his enemies, and what to the encroachments of those he loved What first attracted me was a person who could not be accused of any incapacity for life, who indeed seized life in great variety and almost greedy quantities, and who nevertheless found something in himself without which life was valueless and when — that was denied him was able to grasp his death. In the final scenes, a to discuss the 18 commoner enters center stage beheading with gathered the towns- people. He's also addressing us, his audience, saying, — Are you breathing? It's nice, isn't it? It isn't difficult to keep alive, friends ... just don't make trouble or, if you must make trouble, make the sort of "I'm breathing . . . — trouble that's expected." 19 Finding what makes life worth living is risky business. we know we must seek it. Other- wise we will hate ourselves for our avoidance. If we don't, life will be valueless. Here is when virtue (what Western It implies that once scripture terms "fruits of the spirit": patience, charity, gen- tleness, and, most importantly, love) strengthens us for the long, heroic haul. Virtue allows us to dare to define what our life must be. Virtue bolsters us. And not a few do find their highest pur- poses, even with the obvious risks. Nothing has changed. — the leathery, tough cowboy stereo- — a virtuous man: He's committed. Jack Palance) ICurley type of City Slickers is124 Marsha Sinetar ing, even though he's without family or friends. That's why his example inspires the three lost friends. As in More's day, the majority prefer the safety of not knowing and stay out of trouble by remaining dull to what, in them, is life, has meaning, gives value. (Frankenstein's remark "I've been cursed by delving into the mysteries of life!" may be our own secret point of view.) A Man for All Seasons energizes and empowers us (when we're ready) precisely because it tells us of someone strong enough to express his truths, his moral goodness, purity, and fine, clear intention. As Galatians 5:23 puts it, "against such things there is no law." Nothing in this world prevents our cultivating such power and nothing in this world can stand in our way once we possess it. Heroic stories of mythological proportions help construct our faith in this and build strength where we are weak. A Greek word for virtue — dunamis — exactly encom- passes the concept of wholeness I'm attempting to convey: Virtue is personal, divinely inspired power. 20 We know we are empowered when we're able to stay the high ground, our consciously chosen life's course, despite obstacles. In Mark 5:25-34, we read that a woman who had been hemorrhaging for twelve years was instantly healed merely by touching Jesus' cloak. The woman approached Jesus in a crowd. From all we know she hadn't spoken to or been noticed by him. Yet when she touched him he knew imme- — — power went forth from him (v. 30). Her presence was known to Jesus only after this force was drawn out of him. Again, in the Gospel of Luke (6:19 and 8:46), virtue and diately that virtue power are used interchangeably. Here too, Jesus addresses another huge throng. Everyone flocks around him, want- ing to be healed of disease or cleansed of their "unclean spirits" by the power (or virtue) that flows from him. More-over, Jesus tells the healed that it is Follow Love125 their faith thathas special drawing powers; it attracts or pulls power from God. Stories heal. Their teachings can awaken inner strength, nobility, and self-value. Myths and fables ignite and dig- nify life. Our favorite movies are emblematic of ideas we need and value for this enrichment to happen. While en- gaged with these, we sense what we are at our best and comprehend what we must do to act on what we know is real and meaningful. Your viewing patterns pinpoint the traits or images you intuit you need. Think back to the movies and books that you love (or to historical or family folk tales, etc.). Which heroes and heroines do you most admire? Which tragedies, dramas, or comedies evoke self-loyalties or compassion? Gradually your characteristic, unique interpretations, and your personal relationships with stories might come to light by mulling over questions like these: • What stories stimulate my awareness and expression of added dignity, goodness, or other specific virtues? • When, if ever, has a particular movie moved me to some improved action? (If several movies have pos- itively impressed you, describe the type or tone of these.) • What can I learn about myself (or my life) from films that are turn-offs, inordinate feeling which sadden me or fill me with — perhaps so much emotion that I cannot continue watching? (Note: Don't force yourself to sit through movies that you don't like. Instead, try to discover what irritates, angers, or bores you. Keep in mind that your inquiry is personal; you don't need to justify, explain, dislikes.) or even understand all your likes and126 • Marsha Sinetar What movies encourage my best sides, make me "a bet- ter person" — kinder, more considerate, or friendlier toward others? What sorts of films negate my finer qualities, fill me with fear, anger, or ignoble tendencies? Which of these films do I naturally choose and what do I sense this means? • How might I "use" movies to develop my virtues, to strengthen what I already know is worthwhile and pos- itive in myself? Might I find a few like-minded friends with whom on a regular basis I might meet and discuss the self-development aspects of movies?[Before you learn to punch] better learn balance. Balance is key. [If] balance good, Karate good. [If] Karate good, everything good. [If] balance bad, better pack up and go home. Miyaji The Karate KidFOLLOW BREATH It is not wise to rush about. Controlling the breath causes strain. If too much energy is used, exhaustion follows. This is not the way of the Tao. — Lao Tsu Businessmen tell me that after attending a few Lamaze with their pregnant wives they manage every- day stresses better. One young man said that after the breathing classes he grew self-aware, saw that in highly charged, competitive situations like corporate meetings or even when alone watching football games, he'd clench his jaw and fists. classes I'd hunch up my shoulders and crouch over. I didn't at all. By staying conscious of my really breathe breathing, I've lessened a lot of unnecessary strain. This chapter explores an effortless practice that pro- motes self-awareness. I call it following breath. It involves the imperceptible, objective observation of that inmost car- rier of life: our breath. By quietly noticing our breath as we watch movies (or, for that matter, do anything else), we slowly learn what most Lamaze practitioners 129130 Marsha Sinetar know: Our own breathing is a fine teacher about our Following breath is a technique that sta- bilizes us when we're off center. This is good news, since all the world's sages and cultures agree: Equanimity emotional groundedness is our healthiest, most potent states of mind. — — condition. While the phrases following love and following virtue im- ply ways to study a movie's spiritual content, following breath suggests a manner of being, a mode of height- ened awareness that lets us experience ourselves, keeps us present. In time we may want to transfer this practice to other activities, like high-risk meetings at the office or routine family discussions. Practiced properly, this delicate, discerning process shines light on tensions and avoidances, and gradually reestablishes us in right relationship with ourselves. Physiological Fine-tuning Breath is our most intimate stress detector — a high- frequency, physiological fine-tuning device that amplifies our body's slightest changes. Breath's language is subtle and responsive. Its rhythms alert us to anything faintly out of the ordinary; disruptive thoughts and feelings, minute external sounds, add movements. Our breath tells us when our energies turn into fear or excitement (two closely re- lated states) or when anger, sorrow, and even pleasurable emotions like joy or profound love move through our body's intricate passageways. Breath is an organic, living miracle. — the primal Our breath is us, consciousness itself source of what the ancient Tao Te Ching calls "the ten thou- sand things." The Bible's creation story bears this out. The Book of Genesis says that the Lord God made humans and131 Follow Breath breathed into them the breath of life, after which "man became a living being." 1 Breath is the obvious causal link between mind, body, and life. This is why following breath and restoring health- easy, deep, natural makes practical good ful breathing — — sense. Usually we're unaware of our breathing. Perhaps this is as nature intended it. Yet, when we don't know what we feel or where in our physiology our breath, energy, and emotions sit, we've taken things too far. Beginning few realize that it is dan- gerous (perhaps forbidden) to know and express their full range of emotions. Gradually, off-centeredness and result. Numbness becomes our funny breathing patterns in infancy, all but a fortunate — — preferred state of being. This is also when various denials and projections begin. By pushing our feelings and insights deep down into unawareness we anesthetize ourselves. We stuff our nat- ural fear and curiosity (two completely spontaneous reac- tions of all sensitive, creative children) into some hidden, secret place. Over the years, with constant repetition, we forget what we've done with these, disassociate ourselves from our own perceptions and experience, and in the process, learn to distrust ourselves. Our nameless, "illogical" fears, our disgusts and avoid- awe and admiration of ances, as well as exaggerated selected others (e.g., parents, teachers, bullies, sports and popular heroes, movie stars) provide clues about our pro- jections. A common sense, rule-of-thumb is that the more intense our fear, hate, or idealized opinion of someone or something, the more likely it is that we've placed some self-rejected power onto another. The renowned psychoanalyst Dr. Karen Horney be- lieved that children's submissive reactions (also their non- responsiveness) send clear messages to adults, namely, "I132 Marsha Sinetar repress myself because I need you." Conversely, young- sters who protest or who express strong emotional reaction court trouble (e.g., strenuous battles with authority fig- own more of their power and breathe better than youngsters who bottle up frustrations, irritations, ures); they and their softer, sweeter sides. Childhood submissiveness demands unhealthy self-restraint. To live in society we need personal control, must in- ternalize social rules, learn politeness, the art of accom- modating others. Submissiveness is excessive self-control, the counterproductive, cripplingly severe suppression of feelings, opinions, or values. We overdo control if we believe ourselves to be inade- quate. We then behave like wooden blocks, think we can't make a difference in our own life, subdue our voices, hold back exuberance, energy, ideas, and our breath. These we bind up somewhere in our body as tension, anxiety, awk- wardness, or chronic pain. This strangleholds our natural intelligence, particularly creativity. We can see repressions in our dominant, persistent moods — apathy, our chip-on-the-shoulder attitude or se- vere resistances, especially toward authority figures or our best interests, or in our constant cheerfulness. Our pervad- ing disposition carries a message. The always-tidy, perky woman or the ever unctuous nice-guy generally give away power, as do introverts who try to live according to artifi- cial rules-of-togetherness, or extroverts who tiptoe quietly around the expectations of others. In all likelihood we trust our manner of emotional re- straint, however it's fashioned, while feeling ashamed of our spontaneous instincts. We may believe the former are helpful, strategic allies. True, these did protect us when we were tiny, helpless beings, most in need of love, approval, and security. Since we're still alive, our various defenses did contribute to our early life's "success."Follow Breath 133 In our psyches, we may have encoded rules like, "Be nice — it's safer," or "My repressions pay off." In part, this explains why it's so frightening for some of us to voice our true opinions or to protest (even when — logically — as adults we know we have every right to express ourselves, that there's nothing to fear). As we dissolve those learned responses that thwart our spontaneity, express appropriate aggression, or release stored feelings of laughter or sad- ness, we increase competence and our power as authentic, whole persons. On this issue F. S. Perls wrote frequently: The awareness of and the ability to endure unwanted emotions [was] the conditio sine qua non for a success- ful cure [i.e., of neurosis]. This, and not the process of remembering [i.e., one's traumas or disturbed past] forms the via regia to health. 2 In simple English this means spiritual health depends on owning our own power. much that we've buried, particularly our unassimilated experience. One hallmark of neurosis is that we forgo self-consciousness for self- awareness. 3 When self-conscious we project our eyes and Following breath unearths minds outward, as it were, into others' ways of seeing and thinking. We exchange our values, self-expectations, stan- dards, and opinions for theirs. As if in a giant Mother-May-I game, we stop reaching for our deepest goals if others don't approve. Then we forget our ambitions, lose sight of life. People who can't figure out how to spend their leisure time or who wonder what careers to follow often suffer from this malaise. Following breath increases our endurance of the previously unendurable: once hard to accept self-affirming ideas (e.g., that we are competent, causal agents of our life). We slowly reintegrate into our self- or world-view.134 Marsha Sinetar Not for a moment do I suggest that merely watch- ing films, in and of itself, solves long-standing problems. Nevertheless, the stuff of our repressions and impercep- tions does become the unfinished psychological business of adulthood. To see clearly, we must regain fresh, uncon- taminated, whole sight4 — receive realities that exist beyond our programmed prejudices. Movies, and our breath's var- ied reactions to their messages, can show us our biases and can pinpoint the way to our healings. Initially, we simply stay present and alert. One way to accomplish this is to follow our breath. We watch our responses with interested detachment. Given what we know about society's enculturation pro- cess, gaining whole-sight is not easy. Diane Cappadona's article, "The Art of Seeing," describes seeing as a trans- formative discipline. We're made new through vital, vi- sual encounter. 5 Noting how our perception is shaped by previous experience, Cappadona suggests we consider Kierkegaard's story: Once upon a time, there was a man. As a boy he was strictly brought up on the Christian religion. He had not heard much about what other children commonly hear, about the little child Jesus, about the angels, and suchlike. On the other hand, they showed him all the more frequently the Crucified, so that this picture was the only one he had, the only impression of the Saviour. Although only a child, he was already an old While following breath does little to train the intellect's (i.e., does not help us compare visual nuances in film to the compositions and symbols in classic art), the sight — can potentially de- technique is subjectively revealing velop pure awareness, that "ideal condition of the psycheFollow Breath 135 that ... is the aim of meditation and [which is] the source of a healthy individual." 7 One friend told me that when she saw Danny Glover's portrayal of an evil manipulative man, she stopped breath- ing: I was amazed at my reaction to Glover. Apparently I'd adopted this habit [of holding my breath] in child- hood when a sick, sinister relative cared for me. The movie brought back all my terror. Following breath spontaneously improved matters. Every time she noticed herself holding her breath, she would naturally sigh or yawn, thereby drawing into her diaphragm much-needed oxygen. Her friend Jay watched the same movie alongside her, yet experienced no such problem. She described Jay's reactions: He yells at the screen whenever he's agitated. I real- ized for the first time how healthy this is. All during the movie, whenever Glover's character seemed espe- cially cruel or mean-spirited, he'd spout off. Plus, Jay didn't understand why the family in the story allowed the cunning Glover to remain in their home so long. I never questioned that — just passively accepted Glover's presence. Ask "Who's Projecting What?" Studying a movie in this fashion, we learn much about our own tendency to relate lopsidedly to circumstances, to see people through a rigid, judgmental, emotional filter, and as Jung described projection "without possibility — of doubt." —136 Marsha Sinetar A close study of a popular film like Thelma & Louise helps summarize all this. On the face of it, this female buddy film is simply an updated, feminized version of the traditional all-male fable. We've all seen bonding, coming- of-age adventure films or mystery thriller classics (e.g., Easy Rider, The Sting, Lethal Weapon, even Diner and Rain Man) that paired males whose mutual affection deepened during the saga and was endearing. As with the films listed in Chapter 7, Thelma & Louise lets us observe the mind, or consciousness, with which we watch movies. 1. Before viewing: Familiarize yourself with the plot, the characters, to get a sense of your immediate reaction to the story. Thelma (Geena Davis) is a naive, long-suffering Ar- kansas housewife. She has tolerated her crude, truly despicable husband as long as possible. (Watch for the signs of her progressive victimization. The precursors are all there: Darryl, her idiotic husband, ignores and discounts He scolds her like a child, bullies, and intimidates her.) Their domestic interactions may trigger heavy feel- her. ings — irritation, helplessness, or anger, depending on your predisposition. As you watch, notice your breathing, espe- cially when Thelma pretends not to notice. What happens in you as she suppresses her rage? How do you feel later, when, predictably, Thelma erupts violently? What is your response to Susan Sarandon, her waitress friend? Is she healthy, prudent, and intelligent? Does she seem a realist to you? Are you disappointed when their "weekend vacation spirals downward into an alter- nating hellish nightmare and black comedy? How do you feel when Sarandon's control unravels? 2. While watching: Try to locate love's energies, and virtue, as these deepen your interest in the characters. (Each film differs in its handling of such qualities; just137 Follow Breath as each day offers us varied expressions of love and virtue.) Do you experience Thelma and Louise as two women "learning to take charge of their lives . . . exercising what in the past have been male prerogatives on the screen"? 8 whose Or, are they simply brazen, lawless adolescents, enraged retribution at male abuse is a vicious, self- an overreaction to past traumas and present indulgence — inadequacies? Do you feel their choices demonstrate inism"? 9 Are "toxic fem- charming misdirections of lovely, sensual women ("ebullient," as one reviewer termed it) sowing a tediously large quantity of their acts just the farcical, repressed wild oats? You may think this movie is a comedy, full of quaint, folksy characters and dialogue. Two friends of mine said they enjoyed this movie only after they stopped looking for a deep message. This may be your sense too. Janet Maslin, writing in The New York Times considers the film's ending invigorating: ... its heroines, during the course of a few brief but wildly eventful days, crystallize their thoughts and ar- rive at a philosophical clarity that would have been unavailable to them in their prior lives full charge of their lives and their missteps. . . . they take full responsibility for 10 Within the context of what you're told about these friends, do you see their final solution as bold heroism or "philosophical clarity"? As the trapped two smile bravely at each other, hold hands, and choose an explosive death (over what they sense to be certain imprisonment in jail or spent in their former, lesser existence), interpret this as love? — life do you138 Marsha Sinetar Or do you wonder if they aren't really sadomasochists? (One reviewer writes, "The movie is astonishing because its heroines are so relentlessly, hopelessly stupid.") 11 After viewing: Consider how, or if, the movie 3. adds value to your humanity. What did you learn? What stays with you? Are there lessons or insights here that you'd hope your child would carry away? As noted earlier, I tried to imagine how anyone (man, woman, or child) might act if they were in the same cir- cumstances as Thelma & Louise and yearned to be heroic, virtuous, a fully human or free. I took the film's ending seriously, and didn't like it. The heroines' Americanized seppuku (hara-kiri) left me (as well as the last image: a freeze-frame of the women's blue convertible) up in the air. Were these women tough, would-be independent warriors or confused self- saboteurs? Writing in Chronicles, Janet Scott Barlow felt the ending shrunk its heroines, made them: visually incidental to the effect of an automobile More than once the suspended over a canyon supposedly worldly wise Louise says to the flea- brained Thelma, "You get what you settle for." Ain't it the truth. That should be the slogan of moviegoers weary of films filled with tiny women. 12 . . . . . . Seppuku is a noble human act, an art of high intention, a fully thought-out choice supporting a tight web of single- minded, heroic acts. The hero's death means to forward some consistent, philosophical idea. 13 For instance, Gary Cooper's solitary confrontation with the outlaws in High Noon forces an examination of conscience. Would we like the townspeople whom Cooper represents as sheriff back away from violence or bullies? For what do we stand, — — sacrifice, risk all, if anything? High Noon, suggests Ann-139 Follow Breath Janine Morey, is "a film about the efficacy of individual and community action, the efficacy of violence and force the positions of to uphold peace and non-violence, and women and men in the working out of such questions It what price is necessary for self-respect asks [us] what 14 it is we think we will answer to and for." The gifted Japanese writer Yukio Mishima (who at forty-five, in 1970, dramatically plunged a sword into his . . . . . . . . . abdomen in public) wrote that the business of the samurai is the business of death. Our task is a curious, uncertain one. On the surface it is harsh, but to me it seems a task very like a poem. There is nothing so important to us as purity. Here [at we live as if in a scientific labora- we are conducting an experiment in purity, with this training camp, tory], an eye to the uncertain future. 15 Hara-kiri is laced through and through with sadistic- masochistic overtones. Fanatic love, need for surrender and death, the experience of inner peace as tedious, un- endurable boredom, the endless self-punishing disciplines (designed to train mind, body, and will to "choose death when faced with a choice between life and death"), all these, as John Nathan, Mishima's scholarly, empathic bi- ographer writes, are precursors to calling oneself samurai. Like Mishima, the samurai requires "an alternative to that . . . lifelessness of peace." This alternative, typically, is symbolized by the sword. Mishima's private papers ro- manticize and eroticize death, another sadomasochistic trait. We feel no pain. This is the death of bliss. Yet as we move the sword lodged so firmly in our flesh we hear the sobbing behind us of our men who have followed us into battle Our generalissimo descends from his140 Marsha Sinetar white horse and stands on the snow dyed scarlet with our young blood. At his feet lie our bodies now about to die. As we move toward death our majesty salutes us. 16 Masochists also project their power. They give away their potential for magnificence to cruel, dividuals. (Mishima wrote, "In all dominating in- honesty, I am fasci- nated with Hitler ... [he] was a political genius, but not a hero ... I feel one hundred times more sympathetic to Mussolini... 17 ,, ). Thelma puts her vile spouse in the driver's seat of ultimately looks to Thelma for an- swers. Did Thelma and Louise drive over the cliff because of a similar inability to tolerate peace? Did their desire her life; Louise — — for death build during their stimulating ously horrendous — if simultane- — ordeal? Did these two confront their demons, as do authentic heroes, say, Sheriff Will Kane in High Noon? Questions like these are unending and stim- ulate self-study through discussion and personal journal work. It certainly isn't necessary to delve into a movie's subplots and intricacies, unless we're disquieted by some scene — for better or worse, as were many who reacted turbulently to Thelma might explore its & Louise. If you did, too, then you related psychological or social issues more thoroughly. For instance, is this movie about heroism or the maso- chist's mode of communication that invites trouble? Even when another individual (particularly controlling types) are merely unresponsive or expressionless, masochists imagine the other is angry. They also reject their own fury. People who eroticize surrender, who find greater thrill in relinquishment of life than in working patiently through its dull, tough rigors are often overeager to please. NotFollow Breath surprisingly, as Thelma 141 & Louise reveals, the unwillingness to express what we feel or need breeds rage. Dr. Natalie Shainess, a psychiatrist specializing in such communication disorders, explains the machinations of this phenomenon: Continual self-abasement certainly breeds anger and resentment, and while the masochistic person guards vigilantly against any display of these feelings, occa- sionally they erupt. The docile, yielding accommoda- tor can, every so often, lash out in a hostile fashion. At a glance this may be seen as an improvement over her ordinarily immutable submissiveness. In fact, it is no improvement at all, for her anger is usually expressed inappropriately and ends up causing her just as much trouble as her subservience. 18 Or more trouble than before. Masochists put "giant masks" on people, as poet Robert Bly conceives the pro- He outlines the unfolding drama when women project their negative patriarchal powers onto men who won't live cess. up to that role: What if [those others] fail to be a negative patri- arch? What to do then? She might, unconsciously . . . of course, overdraw her checking account, lose bills, dent the fender, feel victimized, act like a little girl. That may turn him into a tyrant again. Or she may go to a feminist meeting to be revved up. Hopefully someone there will explain that even men's kindness are a subtle part of their oppression. When she gets home he has the patriarch mask on again. 19 We can view Thelma & Louise variously: They're either desperado-heroines or knee-jerk masochists, or something else. Louise has enormous potential for heroism. She's deep, and thoughtful, and possesses an inherent dignity.142 Marsha Sinetar She's wise and responsible. Louise has overcome signif- icant personal pain. Yet she subverts her power, relin- quishes her life's control to the giddy Thelma. In one scene, Louise meticulously instructs Thelma about carefully guarding her money. Louise addresses Thelma as one might a youngster with questionable judg- ment. Louise waits until she has Thelma's full attention. She speaks slowly and carefully. Seemingly Louise knows who she's dealing with. "You're holding our future in your hands," she cautions meaningfully, giving Thelma her life's savings. Thelma fulfills her friend's worst prophecy. She leaves Louise's entire bankroll in plain sight, on top of a dresser (they're staying at a cheap motel), then invites in a sexy stranger for a few hours' sensuous frolic in bed. Then Thelma leaves him alone, unattended, in the room, while she casually strolls over to the motel cafe to tell Louise, over a leisurely breakfast, all about her "good sex." (In- credibly, Thelma does all this after hearing her drifter-lover brag about his prowess as an armed robber.) Even a ten-year-old child could predict the inevitable disastrous consequences of such choices. Neither Dirty Harry, B. L. Stryker, nor the Terminator would ever sink so low. One reviewer states that without these twists there would be no story and no excitement. Yet heroic women have appeared in typically "men's roles" and disproved this. Genevieve Bujold, Jamie Lee Curtis, Jane Fonda, Theresa Russell, and Debra Winger respectively in their various doctor, cop, lawyer, hooker, detective roles, and even the more fragile, impish Goldie Hawn in her per- formances (as hooker, poor-rich-girl, or victim) manage to raise pulses and capture audience attention despite their obvious shrewdness and charismatic or cerebral power. Thelma and Louise stubbornly demonstrate the repetitive-compulsive behaviors of masochists (male or fe-Follow Breath 143 male; this neurosis has no gender). Watching the two friends unsuccessfully analyze their predicament, noticing that they possess zero negotiation skill, give no thought to the fact that they're fleeing a non-crime (they're told this repeatedly, but choose not to hear), one assumes they lack desire to reconcile conflict with words, language, or rational thought. These attributes are all facets of human power, — — for all this supposed "liberation" something they're missing. Seen in this light, Thelma & Louise tells us of a wasted life and potential. The steep price they willingly pay for their "freedom" and female bonding, the exquisitely senseless interlocked, symbiotic nature of their response to each other, is another characteristic of unhealthy coupling. Dr. Shainess underscores the disturbing irrational de- pendency of all such pairings: The absorbing, all-encompassing . . . sadomasochistic- masochistic connection [is] illustrated in Ingmar Berg- man's film Wild Strawberries. A doctor picks up a couple as he is driving along a road. Once in the car, the couple ignores the fact that anyone else is present, continuing the horrendous argument they were in the midst of when the doctor stopped for them. All social amenities are displaced, all notions of proper social con- duct obliterated by the couple's obsessive need to continue to struggle. 20 [italics mine] With Thelma & Louise, one eventually asks, "Who's projecting what?" As we examine our varying responses (especially the intense ones), we can construct bridges of understanding between a story and our psyches. Here is where it helps — outraged, anxious, — we never will objectively to stay centered. If we're off balance closed-minded, or opinionated144 Marsha Sinetar see the images, ideas, or attitudes that sit on the screen of our own mind. The quieting-down method I outlined in A Way Without Words is useful in preparation for reflective movie-viewing. The technique measurably improves alertness, receptivity to new ideas, and normalizes our breath. It paves our way to better absorb the content of any story, is both simple and methods I've studied over some thirty years of comparing classical meditation significant, a distillation of ancient practices. We can easily apply the process to our study of movies — to let us experience our visual encounters. An Experiment in Balance In preparation for each viewing session, consider your present disposition, posture (i.e., your body's attitude), and the way you're sitting. Let your attention move effortlessly, without strain, first to your body, then to your breath, until becomes breath. Simply in- consciousness joins breath hale and exhale naturally. Don't add anything extra; just — pay attention. Follow your breath in this innocent, watchful way for a few minutes. Notice any tension or holding. Let your breath travel into these spots, as you grow aware of them. To release tension you may experiment with "breathing into" any part of your body that feels strained. Never force your breath. Your gentle attention is sufficient to spontaneously deepen and correct your breathing if it's constricted. Expe- rience your condition without inner criticizing or comment. If you notice yourself judging or narrating, simply listen to the tone of your inner dialogue. Objectively "follow judgment" as you follow breath. If you've brought any worries to your film-viewing ses-Follow Breath 145 sion, consciously lay these aside. (You can always get them again later, after the session.) During this quieting-down some find (or create) their own private thought- time, language: pictures, symbols, or cues by which they inform themselves of their own biases or questions. 21 One man told me he asked his mind to remind him whenever he was holding his breath: This works. I watch movies and I'm aware as my chest tightens up with tension. Paying attention is all it takes to release the stress. Ironically, I'm getting more out of a film this way. The method has shown me my over reactions. I use it at work and when I'm listening to my kids. As soon as you're calm and centered, start watching a movie. (If you go to a theater, just recollect yourself un- obtrusively before giving your attention to the screen.) If and as you're able, notice your breathing from your inner vantage point — your subtle, always-present witness or intuitive core. After a while, this becomes automatic. Observe how your inmost energies and breath are af- by the movie's images, ideas, conversations, and characters especially when these throw you off balance, take you away from your self-possession. In all likelihood, a film's stimulants separating you from your inmost self are similar to whatever unbalances you in daily life. Laughing also stimulates deep breathing. When we're at ease, breathing is organic; it happens without control or interference. The Buddhist saying, "Life breathes us," explains this experience. Following breath improves com- prehensions of what breath says to us. For example, I've met numerous adults who, prior to working with their fected — breathing, think of their anger (and other emotions) in stereotypical, childish ways.146 Marsha Sinetar They believe anger always expresses itself in combative or hostile expression or that only sadness gives rise to tears. After sensitizing themselves to the unique patterns of their own breathing, they notice that their anger turns inward, releases itself through apathy, loss of caring, or diminished purposefulness, or in overeating or bizarre sleeping habits. Anger generates tears (as can joy or grief), and voice shifts. I've heard both men and women say or posture that, as self-awareness deepens, they discover their eyes predictably water from bottled-up rage or overflowing happiness (two watery terms). Tears are just one of our body's signals that its energies need to express. Instead of internalizing our feelings, we can learn to be active agents of our excitements. Following breath shows us how to use words, voice, body language, and our overall communications skills appropriately. The nuances of move- ment and expression become messengers to release stress or pent-up emotion. The more we inhibit our breath, the more unaware we are of our habitual blocks to concentration, and, corre- spondingly, the greater our overall resistance toward learn- ing and new experiences. The angry kid in the classroom who doesn't hear the teacher illustrates the connection between growth, learning, and constricted breathing. Deep, healthful breathing assists the body's balance and our learning. Recollecting our shared early experi- ence almost all of us know why every good kindergarten teacher insists that five-year-olds rest, or calm down, before changing from one learning activity to another. Correcting the "Dummy-Reflex" Some self-collection seems in order prior to, and during, any study session or film viewing. We must make proper,147 Follow Breath full contact with a circumstance or we gain no value from — engage our- it. Unless we "put our teeth" into the matter we selves with it, chew it up aggressively, assimilate it cannot fully tackle the thing at hand. 22 — A disturbing facet of today's educational system (and our excessively passive movie and TV viewing habits) is that these don't teach us to fully engage with tasks. We use phrases like "veg out" or "zone out" to describe how we handle (or attempt to manage) stress. We frequently pride ourselves on doing several things at once. We eat, talk on the car phone, and drive. We exercise, read the newspaper, and watch TV. When friends visit, the TV or stereo usually housed at center stage of the liv- blares on. Moreover we want something for ing room nothing, expect our food, answers, and monetary or career — — success instantly. F. S. reflex" Perls contended — try many adults adopt a "dummy- to get something for nothing, without any real expenditure of effort. The dummy-reflex seriously impedes our "development of personality." 23 We never appreciate the validity of the reality principle: that we must actively ap- propriate benefit from persons or situations in order to gain something of lasting value. As we watch movies, our mystical messages (or spirit- ual insights) arrive when we pay attention to the story and to ourselves, actively learn to "see," work to understand, chew up whatever we receive. By experiencing ourselves as able, causal agents of our learning, we discover we're changing the structure of events. We're effectual discerners able to distinguish between our pro- fully capable of — jections, fantasies, and discomforts and the actual realities around us. The alternative vegging or zoning out, adopting a dummy-reflex means that we never transform ourselves or elevate our spiritual sights through vital encounter — —148 Marsha Sinetar with our direct experience. Following breath seems one uncomplicated curative to our all-too-human tendency to become robotic, wooden, and sleepy (bored) while reading, watching TV or while in the presence of others.7 This may seem to you melodramatic, but indulge me, please, I like melodrama. — Quintanilla The Conspirators^EXERCISE YOUR "SPIRITUAL EYES" ...the spiritual art, the most difficult of the arts .. .is an in- visible, hidden art which is understood only through purity of heart — Saint John Cassian While I wrote this book, a few editor friends previewed my manuscript with lively interest. They all described their favorite movies, urging me to list my own "top fifty" — the movies I've watched for spiritual or inspirational value. It seems easy enough to enumerate two or three hundred movies that I've enjoyed, but outlandish to limit myself to just fifty. This seems like being asked to exclude a huge and colorful assortment of friends from some personally signif- icant celebration. Nevertheless, I've generated a grouping (minus comedies, musicals, and foreign films), for both fol- lowing love and following virtue, adding a few subjective remarks about my preferences. I've listed only pictures that don't tire me, even af- ter embarrassingly frequent vie wings. I make no neat, mechanical separations between "love" and "virtue" as I watch. These two qualities pop out at me; hopefully their corresponding attributes flow together (as do mind 151152 Marsha Sinetar and body) into one, seamless essence. For the purposes of discussion and exercise, however, the distinction seems useful. Love & Virtue: My "Favorites" Love is so much more than romance, more than personal, "special" affections. Love sparks love. Love motivates. Love reminds us of life's intrinsic worth and stimulates our "yes-response" to people, to adventure, to existence. Love is frequently indirect. It beckons us unexpectedly from any and all surprising, hidden corners. Love has unobtrusively saved my life too many times to mention. Years ago, I suffered keen, personal loss when a dear friend died. Grieving badly, unable to sleep, one early morning I took a drive along Malibu's Pacific Coast High- way — a long stretch of freeway that for miles parallels the sea. Mine was one of but a few lonely cars in sight. Nor- mally I happily anticipate sunrise drives along the ocean, but not this wretched dawn. I am only half aware of the water's leaden, cold pres- like me. Suddenly, at ence. Sky and sand are dreary gray — the farthest edge of the horizon, I spot a hot, crimson dot — bold and captivating. Red-Dot speeds toward me, piercing through my misery as it approaches. In the twinkling of an eye, reality shifts. Sharp, strong color and beauty (in this case, impeccable design — Red-Dot turns out to be a sleek, 940 Porsche, a car I've long desired) punctures my morose preoccupations. pure tones and master craftsmanship draw me, appreciatively, into the moment, remind me of e.e. cum- mings's lines, "I who have died am alive again today, and this is the sun's birthday." Immediately I am cheered Bright, — even jovial.Exercise Your "Spiritual Eyes" 153 When, like racy red sports cars, some nuance in a film restores our joy, cuts through our deadness, or reflects our feeling that we want to be and do more, that's love. Love always stimulates life. I'm a sucker for Capra, Spielberg, Scorsese, and Hitch- cock films. I love old black-and-white pictures, corny relics about angels, heaven, romance, and life-after-death. I crave comedy (including hokey slapstick), spy movies, suspense- ful courtroom dramas, and mysteries (especially those that take place on trains, ships, and in glamorous hotels). I never watch evil or sadistic movies that manipulate and exploit our basest instincts or that seed our fear and, when it's a video, I fast-forward through the gore. I loathe films with predictable, explicit violence (generally against help- less women), redundant car chases, and victimization of forgive me "docudrama." the weak. And, I detest — — I'm thankful for all those actors whose depth, intelli- gence, and humanity shine through their performances, and I'm touched and inspired by their gifted interpreta- tions of a character. Fine actors inject their own life into the most banal or lifeless plot. Who can forget the poetic impact of artists like Jean Arthur, Ingrid Bergman, Humphrey Bogart, Charles Co- burn, and Clifton Webb? Marlon Brando, Michael Caine, Robert De Niro, John Gielgud, Alec Guinness, Walter Matthau, Al Pacino, and Laurence Olivier somehow affect me as did Red-Dot. Similarly, actors like the following have consistently been for me clear, bright truth-tellers: Fred AstaireSean ConneryKevin Bacon Alec BaldwinBilly CrystalHector Elizondo Willem Dafoe Daniel Day-Lewis Danny DeVito Michael Douglas Richard DreyfusSally Field Ann Bancroft Klaus Maria Brandauer Genevieve Bujold Ellen Burstyn Robert Duvall Clint Eastwood Larry Fishburne Andy Garcia James Garner Richard Gere Mel Gibson154 Marsha Sinetar Danny Glover Melanie Griffith Kevin Kline Burt LancasterRalph Richardson Molly Ringwald Gene Hackman Tom Hanks Ed HarrisAngela LansburyTheresa Russell Charles LaughtonWinona Ryder Robert LoggiaBarbara HersheyMyrna LoyDustin Hoffman Anthony Hopkins Holly HunterJohn MalkovichSteve MartinSusan Sarandon Maggie Smith James Stewart Meryl Streep David Suchet Joe Mantegna Jeremy Irons Glenda Jackson James Earl Jones Tommy Lee Jones Raul Julia Diane Keaton Harvey Keitel Ben Kingsley Bette MidlerEmma Thompson Jack NicholsonMeg Tilly Nick Nolte Gregory PeckRip Torn Rosie PerezChristopher Walken Joe PesciDenzel Washington Sigourney Weaver Debra Winger Michelle Pfeiffer Sidney Poitier William Powell Peter Weller And this just begins my list. So many other actors are, to me, love-in-action, pure energy Their consciousness and presence "breathes into our nostrils the breath of life." Movies that repeatedly speak to me of love: LighterHeavier •An Affair to Remember•The African Queen •Arsenic and Old Lace•Biloxi Blues •Bagdad Cafe •Beauty and the Beast (1991) • The Bells of St. Mary'sthe Hood •Boyz •The Breakfast Club •The Bridge on the River Kzvai •Big•Casablanca • The Bishop's Wife •The Butcher's Wife •Defending Your Life •Drop Dead Fred • Enchanted April •Fantasia (1940) •Ferris Bueller's Day Off •The Ghost and Mrs. Muir •Going My Way •Heaven Can Wait (1978) N •Cinema Paradiso •Close Encounters of the Third Kind •Dances with Wolves •Educating Rita •84 Charing Cross Road •Grand Canyon •Hannah and her Sisters •High Noon •Kramer versus KramerExercise Your "Spiritual Eyes" LighterHeavier •Here Comes Mr. Jordan (1941)•Mask •It Happened One Night•Midnight Cowboy •Murphy's Romance • Norma Rae Wonderful Life •Life with Father •It's a •Mr. Belvedere (series) •Mr. Smith Goes to Washington •Notorious •Places in the Heart •Miracle on 34th Street•Rain Man •Moonstruck •Oh, God!•Stanley •Parenthood•Jin Men •Roman Holiday•To Kill a Mockingbird •2001: A Space Odyssey •The Secret Life of Walter Mitty • When Harry Met Sally 155 & Iris *The Thirty-Nine Steps • Whistle down the Wind To follow virtue, I search out movies about uncommonly gifted, competent, or noble characters. I want to see char- acters grow in their daring or courage, the skill or nobility of their response, the dignity and depth of their being. The heroes' development is central to me, as is their cerebral cunning and purity of heart. I love movies about creatively intelligent people. For me, virtue flourishes in the Sherlock Holmes' series (those featuring Basil Rathbone and particularly the recent Brit- ish productions starring Jeremy Brett). Miss Marple, of the Agatha Christie mysteries, is a charmer; I especially adore Joan Hickson's Marple and Margaret Rutherford's (although I've heard Agatha Christie didn't much care for Rutherford's portrayal). Andy Garcia shines with heroic promise in just about all his work; the Thin Man movies (with William Powell and Myrna Loy) and Hitchcock classics predictably give us vir- tuous lead characters. David Suchet, as the "new" Hercule Poirot, has genius. These heroes aren't cloying, pretentious, or self-righteous about their decency. They're just smart, tenacious, impeccable.156 Marsha Sinetar Movies that repeatedly speak of virtue: LighterHeavier •Adam's Rib•Absence of Malice •Alice•Agnes of God •All About Eve •Amadeus •Auntie Mame •Barton Fink•Anatomy of a Murder •Beverly Hills Cop•Birdman of Alcatraz •The Big Easy • Born Yesterday•Black Widow •Chariots of Fire•Broadcast News • The Devil and Miss Jones•Do the Right Thing •Diner •The Dirty Dozen •Down and Out in Beverly Hills •The Enchanted Cottage•The French Connection • Gandhi •Gentleman's Agreement •The Godfather (I, II, III) •Homicide •Howard's End •A Fish Called Wanda •Flashback •The Freshman •The Gods Must Be Crazy •Good Morning, Vietnam •Goodbye Mr. Chips •The Great Escape •The Hero •Legal Eagles •Local Hero •Mr. Deeds Goes to Town •Other People's Money •Rear Window •Risky Business •Saving Grace •Sherlock Holmes (series) •The Shoes of the Fisherman •Sister Act •The Thin Man (series) •Babette's Feast • The Boys from Brazil •Internal Affairs •Judgment at Nuremberg •The Maltese Falcon •Malcolm X •A Man for All Seasons •The Manchurian Candidate •Mississippi Burning •An Officer and a Gentleman • One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest •Raging Bull • Resurrection •Serpico •Stalag 17 •Streets of Gold •Suspicion •The Ten Commandments Men • Tootsie• Twelve Angry • Wall Street•The Verdict • We're No Angels•Witness for the Prosecution •You Can't Take It with You157 Exercise Your "Spiritual Eyes" Mine a Movie's "Gold": Further Reflection Suggested Viewing: • Emma's Shadow Metronome Produktions A/S •The Karate Kid Columbia/Delphi II •Hobson's Choice British Lion /London Initially it helps to watch these movies (all three or any one of them) while practicing to follow love, virtue, and the three previously mentioned keys to mining a film's gold. This triune focus is our organizing device. This opens our spiritual eyes. To recap raises consciousness breath — — what was outlined earlier: First, follow a movie's love. Notice whatever exists of com- passion or generosity toward self and others. Attend to the film's higher "Being" values — joy, creativity, humor, courage, honesty, etc. These too flow from love. Next, follow the virtue. Be aware of, and trace, any basic decency, purity, or personal power as these develop in a character. In the movies listed above, virtue is easy to spot. Many of these films portray archetypical images of good and bad; they define these in absolute terms. This is, in fact, one way that movies like fairy tales are useful. They clearly depict love, virtue, success, and failure; their sto- ries develop our desire for whatever is good, but without directly preaching. Throughout, follow your own Be sensitiveto what's happening to your lungs, chest, or throat.Do nothing more — just stay breath. alert to your own breathing. Normally, when calm and centered, our breathing is steady and uneventful.158 Marsha Sinetar To understand your own pattern of emotional com- changes in your breath as you watch films (or do anything else for that forts or distresses, attend to the subtle matter). This is, by itself, a classical spiritual discipline, practiced in some fashion by the old desert fathers and Zen masters alike. The point of such interior watchful- ness is to develop the virtue of discrimination, the among the virtues/' as it was named by " queen Saint John Cassian. 1. Before Viewing In a notebook and in your own words, jot down some of the ways that movies may have been — or still are — like fairy tales for you. If you're uncertain about this, wait until you've seen Emma's Shadow, a Dutch movie complete with subtitles. This motion picture is a fairy tale containing all the essentials of those simple yet highly instructive stories that have been, throughout history, handed on to chil- dren to guide them through life: a testing by and an escape from trouble; help obtained from unusual peo- ple, animals, or events; exciting, unpredictable adventures; the chance to develop self-awareness, virtue, and inner resolve. Consider what role, if any, fairy tales and stories in gen- eral (e.g., myths, parables, family legends, etc.) played in your early character formation. For example: •What were your favorite stories when you were young? •As a child, were you open or closed to fiction's so- called "irrational," illogical elements? • Did your family (i.e., those significant adults whom you admired or feared) encourage or belittle your en- joyment of drama, make-believe, or story times?Exercise Your ''Spiritual Eyes" • 159 What contribution did movies make to the richness of your imagination or fantasy world when you were little? 2. While Viewing Identify love's energy as it develops in a plot or char- acter and as it deepens your interest in a movie. This task becomes easier if you pay attention to your breathing. For instance: • When do you predictably hold your breath or choke back tears or sigh? • What scenes, comments, or crisis points seem too much to bear or are overly disturbing? How do you interpret this? •What does your body seem to be saying to you? •When "attending to love," can you identify forgiveness, compassion, or mature, selfless love (not necessarily the obvious romantic or lustful affection) as these surface in a character and in you? We see that Emma is a decidedly larger human being, despite her youth, after Malthe enters her life with caring, familial involvement. What inner turns do you sense ex- pand Emma's and Maltha's humanity? She seems older at the end of the film, but not because of time having passed. Similarly, as trust and bonds of affection deepen among various characters in The Karate Kid and Hobson's Choice, they all change for the better. Following love, we notice everyone (i.e., men, women, children; rich and poor; edu- cated and illiterate) grows kinder, more self-confident and courageous. Love always influences for the better. Considering love's healing properties, reflect on your own life. Perhaps you are single, newly divorced, wid-160 Marsha Sinetar owed, or separated and believe that you can only express love through traditional or formal arrangements: in mar- riage, through existing community ties or clubs or with own age and social circle. You may be friends of your and think you're "too old" to build new relation- ships. Maybe you're a teenager who feels that romance and passion is all there is to love. In what ways does Emma's Shadow enlarge your perspective about love? retired 3. After Viewing Think about how others have added value to your humanity. Consider: • Have you been supporting (placating?) someone who's abusive, who deprives you of love and life, or who dominates, thwarts, or suffocates you? • How might you correct this gently, productively? (Do you need professional help?) • How willing are you to think more deeply about these questions, perhaps improving yourself wherever possi- ble in some small, responsible way? • How open are you to influencing the good in someone else's development, say a friend, neighbor, or a child? • what specific indi- viduals have helped mobilize your virtues or added to If not directly, then from a distance, your overall well-being? •Have you ever thought of thanking them? •In short, what might you do (i.e., what are you willing to do) to "follow the love" in your own life in small, nevertheless significant, ways? • Watching any or all of these movies, how did your sensibilities on this matter broaden?Exercise Your "Spiritual Eyes'' 161 How might your quality of life improve if you found ways to apply a more universal, spiritual definition of love to your life's choices? Awaken Inner Strength: Further Reflection Suggested Viewing: • Babette's Feast Panorama /Nordisk/ Danish Film Institute Virtue asks us to observe what we do and why. At times, it also demands we watch ourselves disintegrate (actually relinquish all that's dear) without knowing precisely why. Virtue clings to abiding, undergirding trust. As we see ourselves go toward the abyss, trust- says, "I — the self within myself, the living heart behind my social mask — will be reborn again, at a future point in time if not right here and now." All this means activating our good will and our personal agency so fully, so intentionally, that ulti- mysteriously unify ourselves with mately we affirm life — all of life. By cultivating love and inner strength, we grow secure enough to manage this, our primary human assignment. Whatever else we may accept as life tasks, awakening inner strength is first. Babette's Feast, directed by Gabriel Axel (from author Isak Dinesen's story), is set in a nineteenth-century con- text as far removed from our affluent Western life as is the North Pole from the South. Yet we can empathize with these characters — both minor and major — because they We know them as we know ourselves — are exactly like us. kindred spirits, part of the human species. When we meet Babette she is devastated, a refugee who's lost everything: family, financial security, social162 Marsha Sinetar standing, and home. Her gentleness, her steadfast, unas- suming dignity teach us that something vital hidden power — still — some quiet shines in her. Babette's virtue is obvious and universal. She breathes life into the scriptural injunction that those who would make themselves last. She validates the Buddhist be wisdom: first We live happily indeed, though we call nothing our own! We shall be like bright gods, feeding on happiness. 2 Movie critic Richard Schickel reminds us that true artists need so little to get along: time, solitude, a bit of cash to buy supplies, supportive friends. He partially explains Babette's poise and bearing, suggesting that their source is in her "extraordinary talent/' Babette has more — she possesses spiritual maturity: ...how rarely artists themselves confront their diffi- The whine of self-pity, the bombast of self-aggrandizement, the low moan of tragedy are the notes most often heard from [creators on the subject of their lives]. 3 culties in an engaging spirit. As suggested, each of us has an Inner Artist whose ener- gies and intelligence fund our talents, virtues, and spiritual renewal. As with Babette, these can empower our rebirth. 1. Before Viewing Consider what the word "wholeness" means to you. Try defining it precisely. Or describe it generally in your journal without leaning too heavily on others' words or opinions. 2. While Viewing Take notes (if you're so inclined) about those scenes, symbols, colors, characters, and conversations or feelingsExercise Your "Spiritual Eyes" that touch you. 163 Reach into your significant viewing in- stances to discern the nature of your emotional reactions. • What do these scenes tell you? (Not "why" do you feel as you do, but rather what does your subjective life say to you?) • When — during what scenes — do you hold your breath? •What does your breath say to you when you hold it? •How did your breath alert you — tell you what you felt? you watch. Don't settle what your private, interior movements, your turnings of spirit seem to communicate. Stretch into your responses as for trivial answers. Discover 3. After Viewing Note your reaction to the story, its characters and con- clusion. • How do all these facets resonate with your values, personal outlook, your goals and life as a whole? • • What, if any, elements of wholeness does Babette em- body in your eyes? How do some of the other characters affect you: i.e., in what ways do their personal power, virtue, and general conduct touch you for better or worse? — • What, if any, new appreciations for your life's lit- earthly delights did you gain from watching this movie? In what ways does pleasure relate to spiritu- tle ality? • What place does celebration have in your life? To what extent does your ability to celebrate contribute to your pleasures and emotional healing?164 • Marsha Sinetar In the last part of the movie, Babette asks to pay for the dinner party out of her own funds. To what extent do you identify with her need to give of herself or use her talents (art; perhaps things) to transform life? • How do you explain the increase of gaiety, warmth, af- fection, and general extrovertedness of the guests at the feast? A sample, ongoing commentary from one individual's journal could encourage you to write about your own responses: • I'm overwhelmed by the degree to which the lack of gaiety, beauty, and celebration robs us of life. • Without some form of human, earthly love we die. Lit- tle wonder that the town's elders in this movie are so full of rancor and melancholia. Without joy, even our I am thankful that the two sisters talents drain away. had each other. • . . My appreciation for my own simple, tangible delights is renewed: my rose garden, those old blue and white dishes that I found at auction, my good health, and friends with • whom to savor all these "things." The particulars of life seem highly charged with mean- ing now. I'm hooked into some overriding purpose. not since my I've not experienced this for some time youth. It's not things, but the love behind them that (no wonder the Lord pronounced counts for so much "all that He had made as very good"). — . • I . . cry when the two angelic-faced but parched sisters show Babette how to cut up that dried flatfish. Those dead, dry cods show what happens to life when we for-Exercise Your "Spiritual Eyes" 165 get to express our joy. Joy is unlike pleasure: It bubbles up inside me all the time, if I pay attention • I breathe easier as Babette finds the means to add small, inexpensive delicacies, like yellow onions, to the fam- ily's daily meals. This scene brings the first ray of hope that life will forge its way through grim, false piety — eventually. Movies like Babette's Feast, The Godfather series, Mal- colm X, A Man for All Seasons deserve our reflection, journal notes, and advanced study or discussion (for in- stance, in college courses) during which we devote ample time to significant dialogue, mythical scenes, and archety- pal symbols. Not every film needs — or deserves — such scrutiny. Probably most movies can be spiritually rewarding even if we merely ask ourselves a few general questions while watching. The next two exercises illustrate this point: We can gain spiritual insight even when viewing "superfi- cially" when relaxing, when we're with friends, without — much effort. Note that the next two viewing exercises omit the struc- tured questions, as with the "before-during-after" journal or discussion process. In all likelihood, most people will continue to watch their favorite movies while relaxing with family or friends. Perhaps journal-keeping or formal conversation is inappro- priate in these settings. There's no reason to be rigid or doctrinaire about all this. It is possible to be self-monitoring without ceremony. Viewing questions for the following films are listed in- formally — after general overview. One could entertain these in any number of ways, either before, during or after watching the movies.166 Marsha Sinetar Follow Virtue: Further Reflection Suggested Viewing: Grand Canyon • Twentieth Century Fox •Being There Lorimar/North Star/CIP •Lilies of the Field UA/ Rainbow Compare and contrast each main character's embodi- ment of virtue: generosity, inner peace (no-strife), or cour- age. How do the movies' main characters portray virtue, as you understand the word? Consider the questions I offer, capturing whatever you watch. Remember to notice your breathing (even if you aren't keeping notes). It is most productive to view these movies as soon as possible after reading the related insights or emotional information that surfaces as chapter. you decide to keep your journal available while you're watching, you can record strong or sudden re- sponses during specific scenes. Over time, the pattern of and your own favorite way of watching these scenes can richly inform you of what really matters to movies If — — you. The beauty of renting a videotape is that you can replay memorable scenes, thereby studying not only the scene but also your impressions of it. If you discuss these themes with a group of like-minded friends, it is often best if everyone reads the relevant chap- ter material right before viewing the film (e.g., the same day, night, or week of your meeting, as is done in BookExercise Your "Spiritual Eyes" 167 Clubs) so that follow-up discussions can focus on virtue per se and not ramble on. It is no more necessary to share your most personal, emotional reactions to a movie than it is to tell everyone your intimate dreams. In all cases, let your own instincts and mature good judgment be your censor and guide. (If you notice a tendency to "tell all/' to set yourself up for the unwanted advice of others, or to exploit your private life for use as social small talk, this too is an occasion for 45 further study and self-correction!) Possible Questions for Journal or Discussion Grand Canyon: The opening scenes introduce several characters who are trying to control their fear. Reflecting on your own anx- ieties (the way you typically avoid risks or stave off dread), is there anything you learned from these heroes and heroines? If not, how would you have changed their reactions to their contemporary experiences? (e.g., hav- ing car trouble in a strange downtown neighborhood in any major urban area; living amongst warring gang mem- bers, etc.) How do you explain the fast friendship between the two heroes (Glover and Klein)? Have you ever been im- mediately drawn to someone from another culture? What happened? Could you let yourself "go with" your feel- ings of instant rapport? Did you talk yourself out of that relationship? What's your explanation of the film's ending? How do you interpret the final scene and what does it say about possible ways to reconcile the fears, distrusts, and apprehensions of your own life?168 Marsha Sinetar Being There: Keep in mind that this is a comedy and meant to depict life's truths in a stylized (perhaps artificial) manner. How fully do you relate to, or enjoy, Sellers' character? If you don't, why not? Does his state of mind seem desirable to you? One person said, "In some ways, Sellers' role illustrates an innocence and simplicity that I admire. Then again, he's so dispassionate that all normal human responses are missing: He has no sexual drive, no self-interested in- stincts." To this individual, Sellers' character was a turn-off. In what ways is this "no-strife" as you interpret it? Lilies of the Field: At some point, the hero, Homer Smith, becomes unthreat- ened by the loss of wages and moves beyond his own self-interests when building the chapel for the nuns. As you view this movie, what do you think sways him to return to the nuns' compound after he initially leaves? On occasion, have you abandoned your own plans or goals to care for others in a similar generous way? Drawing on your life's experience, have you helped others to such an extent that increased love, generosity, gratefulness (i.e., for just being alive), or deep job satisfac- tion resulted? In what ways was your experience growthful for you? To what extent would riences again? you hope for such expe- How did these events cultivate your finest impulses or let you reach a point, like Smith, where you surrendered to your best qualities? • Reflecting further on the virtue called "no-strife," and considering the social issues each film depicts, what usual social stresses cause you to get overexcited,Exercise Your "Spiritual Eyes" 169 stressed, or perhaps burned-out, thus separating you from inner peace? As you review your own inclinations, how might a development of added virtue bolster your ability to master your inner disturbances? Considering virtue in general, what virtues seem natu- ral to you? Which virtues seem just beyond your reach? How might you use selected movies to open your inner eyes to your own fundamental decencies (or to learn how to encourage these in others — for instance, a young child)? Follow Love: Further Reflection Suggested Viewing: • Defending Your Life Warner • To Kill a Mockingbird U-I Both contemporary and old classic films can be master teachers about love. Viewing these two dissimilar movies together (or approximately at the same time) allows us to "follow the love." In particular, these stories may shine a spotlight on our own early life when love was (or was not) available to us in nurturing, life-supporting doses, or help us recall how fear (or other negatives) intrudes on our ability to love. We need not keep a journal to grow. Simply letting a movie's honest themes and lessons wash over us seems sufficient to reawaken our particular truths.170 Marsha Sinetar In To Kill a Mockingbird, Gregory Peck's portrayal of small-town lawyer Atticus Finch is, among other things, a story of the "good father." Finch is steady, firm, and em- pathic. He's warmly loving. His character could spur glad or sorrowful memories as we consider our own childhood, reminding us of what we did and did not receive from our parents. Similarly, although a wholly different type of movie, De- fending Your Life explores how fear thwarts life, limits our very capacity to love or to take risks on behalf of what we know to be our good. How do these movies restore your memories of your own diverse, loving sensibilities? Alone, or with friends, review your childhood with its unique coloration of trau- mas and charm. How did you learn to run from, or relate to and love, others? Create your own mental-movie about the high points of your parents' example and their expectations of you: How did these shape your current ability to press through difficulty, or move beyond fear, or love others? Both of these movies (and countless others with a sim- evolved degree of complexity) seem rich enough to stimulate memory of what was or to generate mythic what it might be, images about how life could be better ilarly — at its best. Considering movies in this self-reflective way, we learn to see. Over time and with practice we could even develop discernment. (I suspect this depends on the skill of the person who's watching.) The Growth of Discernment Good movies are, paradoxically, at once both gentle and forceful. Just like books, their stories can absorb us fully yetExercise Your "Spiritual Eyes" 171 let us be. Motion pictures engage our "active-passivity" — that doing/nondoing function of mind required for all cre- ative thinking (and especially for invention's incubation phase). 6 7

Movies are amazingly polite, nonintrusive hosts. They never make us speak (as we watch, we needn't move our vocal chords one iota), and they let us daydream amiably. Walker Percy describes this precise phenomenon (from a decidedly different vantage point) in his superb novel The Moviegoer: Now and then my friends stop by, all gotten up as young eccentrics with their beards and bicycles, and down they go to the Quarter to hear some music and find some whores and still I wish them well. As for me, I stay home... and turn on TV. Not that I like TV so much, but it doesn't distract 'me from the won- der. That is It is why I can't go to the trouble they go to. distracting, and not for five minutes will I be distracted from the wonder. 8 Amen. Film stimulates our nonconscious realms de- lightfully. It offers the mind a chance to recreate (and what a relief this is, considering the frantic world we're in). Thus does mind spin 'round freely in its infinite orbs. As it goes, it seizes this or that surprise or unexpected treasure from its hidden reserves. If we remain alert to these happen- ings, remain alert and conscious of mind's playful turnings, discernment grows. We bring our insights and observations from this sort of conscious film- vie wing into everyday life. Certainly this seems one reasonable goal. The steps suggested through- out these chapters are but easy, mindful techniques that add to objective self-awareness. The Zen saying, "what you do, do that," applies as172 Marsha Sinetar much to film-viewing as it does to anything else, say chop- ping wood and carrying water. Moreover, the stories of our — our losses and gains, our vices and virtues — seem — as members of an — enduring human family by being open other people's lives universal. We remember who we are to stories. Such openness also stirs discernment, being as it is akin to honesty. Eventually discernment turns to wisdom. Saint John Cassian (mentioned earlier) wrote frequently about human virtue. To him, and other early desert fathers, discernment was "the most difficult" of all spiritual arts. Its cultivation required persistent discipline. It still does. In all these centuries nothing much has changed. Why should we not use film, selectively, as yet one more way to grow strong in this art of arts, to help ourselves become — toward ourselves and others? Refined objective awareness — that rare blend of judg- ment, rational prowess, heightened perception, the integra- a benchmark of our spiritual tion of intuition and logic — truthful and empathic is maturity. We don't gain discrimination power from books or experts or college degrees. Life itself is our teacher. Everything placed in our path can help us assimilate, and learn from, direct experience so that, ultimately, wis- dom results. Certain films — like certain lovely people, glorious works of art or music, and special instances of — seem a grace expressly given for our edifica- Movies are now our shared, celluloid tradition of storytelling and encouragement. As we stay fully conscious while eating hamburgers or listening to our child complain of school bullies or view- prayer tion. ing movies; as we apply ourselves faithfully to whatever we do, discernment blossoms. Following love, virtue, and our own breath, we enter the sacred, luminous present. This in itself is the gift — real power, life itself.Notes Introduction

1. W. E. Vine, Expository Dictionary of New Testament Words (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 1952), p. 537. Martin Buber, The Way of Response (New York; Schocken Books, 1966), p. 136.
2. While editing the final draft of this manuscript, I read Charlotte Joko Beck's fine book Everyday Zen (San Francisco: HarperCollins, 1989), in which she too uses the phrase, fol- lowing the breath. The term is not original with me. Beck, an accomplished Zen teacher, also suggests other words: "It doesn't matter what our practice is called: following the breath, shikan- taza, koan study; basically we're all working on the same issues: 'Who are we? What is our life? Where did we come from? Where

do we go?' It's essential to living a whole human life that we have some insight." (p. 9). 4. Marsha Sinetar, A Way Without Words (Mahwah, NJ: Paul- ist Press, 1992). Gualala Video (707-884-1050) carries, on standard VCR, al- most all the films I mention in this book. (I should add that I've not discussed movies released after early Spring, 1992.) 5. 6. Ananda K. Coomaraswamy, The Transformation of Nature in Art (New York: Dover Publications, 1934). 7. Abraham Maslow, Toward a Psychology of Being (New York: D. Van Nostrand Co., 1962), p. 58. 173174 Notes to Pages 20-46 1: Reel Power 1.Ephesians 1:18 2.Fritz Perls, Ego, Hunger and Aggression (New York: Vintage Books, 1969), p. 157. 3. Meher Baba, Path of Love (New York: Samuel Weiser, 1976), p. 99. 4. Robert Lauder, lence" in Image "It's a Wonderful Life: Divine Benevo- & Likeness, ed. John R. May (Mahwah, NJ: Paulist Press, 1990), p. 136. 5. Ananda Coomaraswamy, The Transformation of Nature in Art (New York: Dover Publications, 1934). 6. Ananda Coomaraswamy, What Is Civilisation? (Great Bar- rington, ME: Lindisfarne Press, 1989), p. 10. 7. Marsha Sinetar, Living Happily Ever After (New York: Villard Books, 1990). 8. Ibid. Video rights to Emma's Shadow are controlled by Fox Lorber Associates, 419 Park Ave. South, New York, NY 10016. 9. 2: 1. Adopt New Stories and States of Mind Jean Renoir in Film Makers on Film Making, vol. 2, ed. by Joseph McBride, American Film Institute (Los Angeles: J. P. Tarcher, Inc., 1983), p. 44. 2. W. J. Weatherby, Chariots of Fire (New York: Dell/Quick- silver Books, 1981), p. 139. 3. Ibid., p. 142. Roger Ebert, Roger Ebert's Movie Home Companion (New York and Kansas City: Andrews & McMeel, 1990 ed.), p. 450. 5. Bruno Bettelheim, The Uses of Enchantment (New York: Vantage Books ed., 1977), p. 142. 4. 6. Ibid. Marion, M. Holmberg, "Home Alone" TV Guide vol. 39, August 17-23, 1991, no. 33, #2003, p. 7. 7.J. 8.Carolyn G. Heilbrun, Writing Woman's Ballantine Books, 1958), p. 37. Life (New York:Notes to Pages 47-74 9. 175 Marsha Sinetar, Developing a 21st-century Mind (New York: Villard Books, 1991). 10. John Briggs, Fire in the Crucible (Los Angeles: Jeremy P. Tarcher, 1990), p. 168. 11.Ibid. 12.Vera John-Steiner, Notebooks of the Mind (New York: Harper & Row, 1987), p. 185. 13. I came upon the notion of personal revelations and life- impulses rattling around "in our skulls" in some ancient text, but can't remember where. The phrase speaks to me, and so I've used it. 14. Nikos Kazantzakis in The Choice Is Always Ours, ed. by D. Phillips, E. Howes, L. Nixon (Wheaton, IL: Re-Quest Books 1977), p. 32. 15. Ibid. 3: 1. Awaken Inner Strength Marcia Landy, editor, Imitations of Life (Detroit: Wayne State University Press, 1991), p. 14. 2. Halliwell's Film Guide, 7th ed. (New York: Harper & Row, 1989), p. 234. 3. Natalie Shainess, Sweet Suffering (New York: Wallaby Books/Pocket Books, 1984). 4. Pam Cook, "Melodrama and the Women's Picture" in Imitations of Life, ed. by Marcia Landy, p. 254. 5. Joseph Campbell, ed., The Portable Jung (New York: Pen- guin Books, 1971 ed.), p. 12. 6. Bruno Bettelheim, The Uses of Enchantment (New York: Vintage Books, 1973), p. 48. 7.Halliwell's Film Guide, p. 527. 8.Marsha Sinetar, A Way Without Words (Mahwah, NJ: Paul- ist Press, 9. 1992). Chapter 4 discusses this in detail. D. Phillips, E. Howes, L. Nixon, ed., The Choice Is Always Ours (Wheaton, IL: Re-Quest Books, 1977), p. 166. 10. D. T. Suzuki, The Training of the Zen Buddhist Monks (New York: Globe Press Books, 1934).176 11. Notes to Pages 75-110 John R. May, "The Godfather Films " in Image & Likeness (Mahwah, NJ: Paulist Press, 1992). 4: Follow Virtue 1. HalliweU's Film Guide, 7th ed. (New York: Harper & Row, 1989), p. 640. 2. Christian D. Larson, Just Be Glad (New York: Thomas Y. Crowell Co., 1912), p. 64. 3. Tom O'Brien, The Screening of America (New York: Contin- uum, 1990), p. 179. 4. Jonathan A. Jacobs, Virtue and Self-Knowledge (Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice Hall, 1989), pp. 3, 4. 5. Shunryu Suzuki, Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind (New York, Tokyo: Weatherhill, 1975). I have added italics. 6. Martin Buber, Ecstatic Confessions (San Francisco: Harper & Row, 1985), p. 3. 7. C. J. A. Lee, T. Hand, A Taste of Water (Mahwah, NJ: Paulist Press, 1981), p. 19. 8.HalliweU's Film Guide, p. 448. 9.Ibid. Brother Lawrence, The Practice of the Presence of God (Old Tappan, NJ: Spire Books/Fleming H. Revell, 1980 ed.). 10. 11. J. G. Bennett, Is There "Life" on Earth? (New York: Stonehill, 1973). 12. Marsha Sinetar, Elegant Choices, Healing Choices (Mahwah, NJ: Paulist Press, 1988). 13. Peter Browning, ed., John Muir: In His Own Words (Lafay- ette, CA.: Great West Books, 1988), p. 25. 5: Follow 1. Love Abraham Maslow, Toward a Psychology of Being (New Jersey: D. Van Nostrand Co., 1962), pp. 23-24. 2. HalliweU's Film Guide, 7th ed. (New York: Harper 1989), p. 562. & Row,Notes to Pages 111-124 177 3. Tom O'Brien, The Screening of America (New York: Contin- uum, 1990), p. 69. 4. Erich Fromm, Escape From Freedom (New York: Avon, 1969 ed.), p. 155. 5. Zweig & Abrams, ed., Meeting the Shadow (Los Angeles: Jeremy P. Tarcher, 1991). 6. Carl Rogers, On Becoming a Person (New York: Houghton Mifflin, 1961), p. 164. 7. Alice Miller, Drama of the Gifted Child (New York: Basic Books, 1981), p. 164. 8. Marsha Sinetar, Living Happily Ever After (New York: Villard Books, 1990). 9. Thomas Szasz, The Second Sin (New York: Anchor Books, 1974). 10. Paul Tillich, Courage To Be (New York: Yale University Press, 1952). 11. Judith Williamson, "Man For Our Season/ vol. 116, no. 2980, 7 New Statesman, May 6, 1988. 12. HalliwelTs Film Guide, p. 182. 13. Abraham Maslow, Toward a Psychology of Being (New York: D. Van Nostrand Co., 1962), p. 45. 14. E. John Elof Boodin, in The Choice Is Always Ours, D. Phillips, Howes, L. Nixon, ed. (Wheaton, IL: Re-Quest Books, 1977), p. 135. 15. Saint Augustine, The Confessions (New York: Collier Books, 1961), p. 104. 16. Thomas Cleary, Zen Essence (Boston: Shambhala, 1989), p. 66. 17. Marsha Sinetar, Ordinary People (Mahwah, NJ: Paulist Press, 1986). 18. as Monks and Mystics Robert Bolt, A Man for All Seasons (New York: Scholastic Book Services, 1968 ed.). 19.Ibid. 20.W. E. Vine, Expository Dictionary of New Testament Words (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 1952).178 Notes to Pages 131-147 6: Follow Breath 1.Genesis 2:7. 2.Fritz Perls, Ego, Hunger and Aggression (New York: Vintage Books, 1969), p. 179. Italics in original. 3.Ibid. 4.Marsha Sinetar, Developing a list-Century Mind (New York: Villard Books, 1991). 5. Diane Cappadona, "Art of Seeing" in Image & Likeness, John R. May, ed. (Mahwah, NJ: Paulist Press, 1992), p. 104. 6. Ibid. 7. Claudio Naranjo and Robert E. Ornstein, On the Psychology Meditation (New York: Penguin, 1971), p. 81. of Maslin, Film View: "Thelma and Louise," Sunday 8. Janet edition, The New York Times, Sec. 2, p. 11, Col. 1, June 16, 1991. 9.Ibid. 10.Ibid. Janet Scott Barlow, "The Incredible Shrinking Chronicles, March, 1992, pp. 18-20. 11. 12. Woman," Ibid. William Scott Wilson, trans., Hagakure: Book of the Samurai (New York: Avon Books, 1979). 14. Ann-Janine Morey, "High Noon; On the Uncertainty of Certainty" in Image & Likeness, John R. May, ed. 15. John Nathan, Mishima (Boston /Toronto: Little, Brown, 13. 1974), p. 226. 16. Ibid., p. 212. 17.Ibid., p. 252. 18.Natalie Shainess, Sweet Suffering (New York: Wallaby Books/Pocket Books, 1984), p. 64. 19. Robert Bly, Little Book of the Human Shadow (New York: Harper & Row, 1988), p. 32. 20. Natalie Shainess, Sweet Suffering, p. 103. 21. Marsha Sinetar, Developing a 21st-century Mind. 22. Fritz Perls, Ego, Hunger and Aggression, p. 179. 23. Ibid.Notes to Pages 150-171 179 7: Exercise Your "Spiritual Eyes" 1. Halliwell's Film Guide, 7th ed. (New York: Harper & Row, 1989), p. 219. 2. D. Howes, E. Phillips, L. Nixon, ed., The Choice Is Always Ours (Wheaton, IL: Re-Quest Books, 1977), p. 400. 3. Richard Schickel, "Dining Well Is the Best Revenge/' Time, vol. 131, no. 10, March 7, 1988. 4. Marsha Sinetar, Elegant Choices, Healing Choices (Mahwah, NJ: Paulist Press, 1988). 5. Natalie Shainess, Sweet Suffering (New York: Wallaby Books/Pocket Books, 1984). 6. Vera John-Steiner, Notebooks of Mind (New York: Harper & Row, 1987). 7. Marsha Sinetar, Developing a Ust-Century Mind (New York: Villard Books, 1991). 8. Walker Percy, The Moviegoer (New York: Ivy Books, 1990 ed.), p. 35.About the Author From her remote coast, Marsha forest Sinetar home along the Northwest manages strongly to influence contemporary thought about optimal adult functioning. A bestselling, internationally recognized author, educa- tor, and corporate psychologist, Sinetar heads her own advisory firm (Santa Rosa, CA) and human resource currently serves as Visiting Professor, Leadership Studies at Gonzaga University in Spokane, WA. One of the foremost exponents of the practical value Marsha Sinetar is a sought-after whose books are increasingly used worldwide in a wide variety of professional settings (universi- ties, therapy groups, and spiritual direction programs). Her published books include the acclaimed Do What You Love, The Money Will Follow; the grassroots best- seller, Ordinary People As Monks and Mystics; Developing a Ust-Century Mind; and, more recently, A Way Without of self-actualization, lecturer Words. Of Reel Power, Sinetar 's latest contribution to the arena of wholesome spiritual growth, the prolific author says, "Film, like poetry, is one of our heart's most subtle agents By helping those we mentor (and manage attention, we further spiritual growth." ourselves)$9.95 Psychology/Film "Provocative and challenging j j "Reel Power is a welcome addition to the rapidly growing list of books that take movies seriously. Marsha Sinetar's highly readable and exceptionally clear book seems to be a contribution unique in that it not only comments on values and insights that are present in some films but also suggests ways that films can be used therapeutically and even spiritually to foster personal growth. Readers will find Reel Power not only informative but provocative and challenging. [Those] who love cinema may be pleasantly surprised by Marsha Sinetar's explanation of the power of film to heal us and nourish our journey through life. "I am hoping that this book will reach many who may have given up on movies and convince them to take another look." —ROBERT E. LAUDER author of God, Death, Art and Love: The Philosophical Vision of Ingmar Bergman "Movies mirror us and invite us to go beyond the obvious. Their themes and images can powerfully equip us to see ourselves as we are at our worst, and at our best, or to help us invent new scripts .All the movies in the world can't turn about who we hope to be. action. Only we have the power into effective our beneficent desires to act as we know we should— and can. But watching movies 'with the eyes of our heart' certainly helps us identify our truest aims, finest values, and noblest aspirations." —MARSHA SINETAR . . ISBN 0-89243-529-1 50995> 8 TRIUMPH™ BOOKS Liguori, Missouri 780892"435296