12 通过家庭作业和体验活动巩固成果

第十二章

通过家庭作业和体验练习巩固改变 生活的真正秘诀在于完全投入到你此时此刻正在做的事情中。不要称之为工作，而要意识到它就是游戏。 ——艾伦·瓦茨

“今天在会谈中你为我所做的非常有力。你‘放下心墙’的方式——即使是在焦虑的情况下，我仍能通过你的眼神感受到你的联系。我觉得这需要很大的勇气和信任才能迈出这一步。”

“是的，我对此感到非常自豪。我觉得自己在做一件很久以来一直不敢做的事情。”

“我很高兴能在这里与你在一起。我想知道，在我们今天的最后十分钟里，本周在你的生活中是否有其他场合可以像这样放下心墙？也许不像你对我做的那样100%放开，但至少10%或30%？你知道我的意思吗？”

“是的，绝对明白。我想到的是周三有一个志愿者小组会议。有一个新成员，一个我之前只见过几次的人，但我听说了很多关于他的好话。我已经开始预想我会感到非常不安全并且封闭起来。我希望尝试对他更多地放下心墙。只是真实地表现自己。”

在这个片段中，治疗师强化了来访在会谈中取得的进步，但她没有止步于此，而是建议来访将这种行为带到外部世界。这是家庭作业的一种形式，也是本短章的一个主题。在FAP中，家庭作业是规则5（支持泛化）的工具。我们在本章还介绍了一小部分可能对FAP有用的体验练习。我们将这两个主题结合在一章中有几个原因。首先，许多体验练习适合作为家庭作业任务。其次，好的、功能上协调的家庭作业任务和体验练习具有一个共同的特点：它们提供了一个有效的情境来引发CRB2，并且为这种行为提供强化的结果。我们鼓励您以这种方式思考它们，作为发展功能性思维的进一步实践。

家庭作业

家庭作业通常是治疗的重要工具。在FAP中，它是遵循规则5（支持泛化）的工具。规则5涉及提供一种手段，将会谈中的行为改变转移到来访生活中的其他情境。从这个意义上说，家庭作业只是一个提示或框架，用于在特定情况下做某些事情。

一般而言，每次会谈都会布置家庭作业。这一指导原则根植于行为疗法的基础之上。治疗的目标是改变来访在生活中如何运作。家庭作业是为了使改变的过程变得有意识、积极和策略性。同时，家庭作业不必明确集中在行动上。它可以针对广泛的行为：注意、反思、思考、感受以及采取行动。

个性化家庭作业

家庭作业应根据来访的行为目标和情境进行个性化。这可能意味着调整我们提供的某个练习，或者从头设计家庭作业任务。您可以放弃僵化的家庭作业活动格式（例如，“你必须这样做，因为手册上是这么说的”），而是灵活关注功能性问题：“本周对这位来访来说什么会有效？” 最简单的家庭作业就是在会谈之外练习CRB2。例如，对于本章开头片段中的来访，家庭作业就是简单地练习勇敢自我披露的行为，当自然机会出现时首次在会谈中进行。来访识别出一个她想要练习CRB2的自然环境（基于上下文理解，治疗师和来访都相信来访可以在该环境中成功），但她也有即兴发挥的自由。或者，家庭作业可能包括进行非常具体的对话，并以特定方式开展，甚至可以从准备好的脚本开始。

重要的是要在结构和灵活性之间找到正确的平衡。当来访拥有创建家庭作业过程的所有权并被鼓励将其适应他们所面临的情况及似乎有效的方式时，家庭作业通常最为有效。请记住，有时建立信心和技能以做出这样的调整需要时间。相反，当来访以机械的方式接受机械的任务时，如果这些任务似乎没有达到预期的改变，或者不清楚如何将任务适应实际情况，他们更有可能放弃。一个结构化的任务应该针对来访需要结构的非常具体的情境；或者它应该能够在独立于情境的情况下完成（例如，简单填写一份工作表）。当来访能够成功利用这种灵活性时（即使有些挑战；例如，如果来访正在学习在不确定条件下做出决策的行为，她可能会稍感不适，但完全有能力忍受这种不适），则应给予灵活的任务。

最后，请记住，布置家庭作业是治疗过程的另一个方面，在此过程中可能会引发一系列CRB（或T1s和T2s）。这不仅适用于布置家庭作业，也适用于来访是否以及如何完成它。在整个治疗过程中，对家庭作业任务进行反馈并修订以使其更加集中和有效是很重要的。

综合考虑这些因素，以下是一些可以帮助您和您的来访在家庭作业方面保持正轨的问题。

家庭作业是否可行且现实？

一般来说，一个来访无法完成的高强度、重要的任务并不如一个他们实际上能够完成的更温和的任务有用。家庭作业是否针对了重要的行为目标？如果家庭作业没有挑战来访尝试新事物，那么它也不是特别有用。家庭作业应该是可行的，但同时也应该针对最重要的行为，并推动来访尝试新的事物。家庭作业的结果应该是某种新东西。

来访对家庭作业的承诺（或缺乏承诺）是CRB吗？

对于某些来访来说，遵守家庭作业是CRB1——这是过度承诺和需求表达不足模式的一部分，这种模式往往会导致挫败感和倦怠。对于这些人来说，布置家庭作业可以提供一个情境，在这个情境中他们被邀请练习CRB2，即做出实际的承诺并直接表达他们的需求。对于其他来访来说，未能完成家庭作业是重要的CRB1，尽管这当然可能反映了他们在同意不切实际的承诺之前表达需求方面的类似缺陷。

你是否以一种能增强来访掌握能力的方式合作完成家庭作业？

来访应该积极跟踪家庭作业哪些有效哪些无效，而不仅仅是是否完成了作业。同样，理想情况下，他们将在设计和反馈家庭作业方面变得更加自主，反映出自我管理技能的提高。

请记住，家庭作业没有按你或来访的预期进行并不意味着“失败”。它仍然可以提供宝贵的学习机会。其中，“失败的家庭作业”提供了观察和参与来访如何应对挫折并从中学习的机会。

FAP中的三种常见类型的家庭作业

在本节中，我们将介绍三种标准类型的FAP家庭作业：保持行为日志、参与特定对话以及在会谈之外与治疗师联系。

保持行为日志

行为日志的概念很简单：在日记中，来访记录下两次会谈之间与治疗目标相关的活动。使用任何适合特定来访的形式：日记、结构化的表格、电子表格等。

许多潜在有用的靶向行为都可以通过这种方式进行跟踪，包括进行脆弱的自我披露、表达情绪、提供或请求反馈、提出要求或表达需求，或者接近重要的冲突或分歧。当然，您也可以根据案例概念化来瞄准更具体的背景或行动。

行为日志的一个常见焦点是风险；事实上，我们经常要求来访保持一份“风险日志”，在其中记录人际风险。在FAP中，承担风险意味着接近那些来访可能会避免的人际情境；这并不意味着从事鲁莽或破坏性的行为。风险是有策略性的。也就是说，有意识地实践承担风险将涉及偶尔的“失败”，即没有得到预期的结果。因此，鼓励来访进行这类风险承担通常既包括体验风险的好处，也包括学会以新的方式应对和回应失败或失望。从更大的角度来看，承担风险的功能超越了即时结果，因为来访在追求目标或价值观的过程中，即使遇到障碍或失败的可能性也要继续前进。

对于某些来访来说，追踪风险恰恰是错误的家庭作业。例如，过于冲动、缺乏对其行为适当性的认识，或者不太可能得到积极反应的来访不应该追踪风险。对于这些类型的来访，可能更好的做法是保持一个“影响日志”（我认为自己对他人的影响是什么？）来培养看到他人视角的能力。行为日志可以用来跟踪任何符合案例概念化和CRB2的行为，从“爱他人日志”到“自我关怀日志”再到“自豪时刻日志”。我们倾向于追踪CRB2（改进）而不是CRB1（问题行为），因为一般而言，追踪改进更为吸引人。

除了使行为改变可见并为您提供响应进展的机会外，日志还为来访提供了一个窗口，揭示其日常生活中可能未注意到的行为特征：缺乏情绪、过分关注负面事件、避免重要关系或问题等。来访写日志的方式也可以揭示CRB。

参与特定对话

一次重要的成功对话可以对一段关系的发展轨迹产生巨大的积极影响。例如，与朋友讨论一个长期回避的问题，与伴侣讨论生育孩子的想法，与难以相处的家庭成员规划假期，给伴侣关于他饮酒的影响的反馈，或者在工作中要求加薪或改变工作重点，都可能极大地改变来访的生活。作为治疗师，我们处于帮助来访制定并参与这些对话的理想位置。

这项多层次家庭作业的第一步是识别一个关键对话。然后与来访一起努力，使对话能够成功进行。准备是关键。有时来访需要带到对话中的言语或语气已经在治疗关系中作为CRB2发生了。在这种情况下，指示就是“像你在那次对话中对我做的那样去做”。有时需要一段时间来塑造CRB，直到您和来访都确信他会成功。

您也可能需要以更直接的方式准备来访，以在会谈中的工作与对话本身之间建立桥梁。例如，您可以共同创建一个30到60秒的开场白脚本来开始对话。您可能还需要以更指导性的方式来指导来访对话的重要方面，比如记得验证对方的感受或不要指责对方。记住，语气和肢体语言有时比所说的话更重要。注意对话的环境也是有益的；例如，根据什么最有效，您可能希望建议某些对话采用电子邮件或书面形式，而不是面对面交流，反之亦然。（电子邮件通常是学习的好基础，因为它提供了精心制作信息的机会。）

有些治疗师对提供如此高度指导性的关于如何参与对话的指导感到犹豫。然而，当来访缺乏有效沟通的技能而对话又必须发生时，直接教授所需技能可以非常有帮助，而且比等待来访自行发现这些技能更为高效。当然，有许多不同的资源可用于社交技巧和沟通培训，包括心理学、自助和商业相关书籍。您可以利用这些资源来培训自己，也可以根据情况推荐来访使用它们。（作者们特别喜欢苏珊·斯科特2002年的著作《激烈的对话》。）

与治疗师在会谈之外的联系

虽然FAP家庭作业通常侧重于来访与重要人物之间的互动，但在某些情况下，选择涉及在会谈之外与治疗师互动的家庭作业可能是有帮助的。技术的发展使得这种联系变得更加容易。然而，有两个重要的注意事项：首先，显然，用于治疗目的的任何技术都应遵守相关法律以及您的专业和组织指南。其次，这种联系不应超出治疗师的界限，并且任何CRB1或T1都应得到处理。（这种做法反映了辩证行为疗法中的技能辅导元素。）

抛开这些注意事项不谈，在会谈之外与治疗师的联系可以是为来访提供一个额外桥梁的战略方式，将治疗与日常生活连接起来。它让治疗师有机会在行为发生时和发生地以强化的方式作出回应。例如，考虑一位正在努力注意并接近快乐时刻的来访；他的家庭作业可能是注意到让他开心的事物并拍照，然后通过短信即时发送给治疗师。治疗师随后可以根据案例概念化或她的指导方针做出适当的回应。另一个例子是一位正在与疏离感作斗争的来访，她的家庭作业可能是在感觉到疏离时立即向治疗师发送一封简短的电子邮件（“我现在感到很疏离。”），从而在疏离的时刻创造联系。

体验练习

本章的其余部分提供了一些体验练习的小样本，这些练习可以作为实施FAP五条规则的有效工具；或者它们可以用作家庭作业，为会谈中的工作铺平道路。我们建议将其视为适应模板或创建特定于来访的练习或家庭作业的灵感来源。在使用这些具体练习之前，有一些事情需要考虑。

保持练习的相关性

在FAP社区中，关于体验练习是否具有临床价值一直存在一些争论。批评者的主要担忧是，练习是一种奇怪或人为的情境，脱离了正常的人际互动，因此，通过练习塑造的行为无法真正转移到其他情境中。换句话说，它们是无关紧要的。甚至更糟的是，他们认为练习实际上可能会造成伤害；例如，某个练习可能会鼓励强烈的情感披露，如果在职业会议中复制这种行为，将会是一场灾难。还有一个更普遍的担忧是，使用结构化的练习可能会不知不觉地使治疗师偏离功能性调谐——即意识到来访当下正在经历什么以及他们的需求。换句话说，治疗师可能会更加关注练习的目标，而不是来访本身。

尽管这些都是合理的担忧，但FAP的核心在于以一种功能上协调的方式使用任何治疗工具，包括练习，嵌入到一个有效的工作分析中，并致力于将在当下塑造的行为转移到来访生活中的相关情境中。如果治疗师牢记这一方向，体验练习（或其他任何治疗方面）的“非自然”性质实际上可以发挥几个有用的功能。其中一个功能是，练习有时提供了一种便捷的方式来引发某种行为，这种行为在自然情况下可能不会发生，但在特定情境下会非常有效。例如，考虑一个可以从练习给予和接受赞赏中受益的来访。在这种情况下，您可能会引入“分享赞赏”的练习（我们稍后会介绍）：“为了练习积极的联系，让我们在每次会谈结束时互相交换赞赏。这也是让我知道今天我们的工作对你来说最重要或最有效的地方的好方法。我们轮流分享一两个赞赏怎么样？你愿意先开始吗？”

在这种情况下，练习本质上是一种指令性和激发性的干预（根据规则2）。引发的方法和练习本身可能有些不自然；例如，来访不太可能在其他情境中直接收到交换赞赏的请求（尽管这实际上是一个非常有用的人际策略）。然而，练习中塑造的行为（给予和接受赞赏）可以在多种现实生活情境中发挥作用。

选择有用的练习

选择练习时应使用与FAP中选择任何干预措施相同的职能分析。您应该问自己的主要问题是，这个练习如何能为特定来访引发CRB2？不同的练习倾向于对不同的来访引发不同的CRB2。反过来，一旦目标CRB2被引发，确保它得到强化，无论是在练习本身中还是在之后的反馈中。

有时，提前与来访讨论练习将引发什么以及来访在练习中应关注什么是很有用的。例如，根据特定来访的案例概念化，您可以提出以下问题之一：

• 您如何以对自己有意义的方式参与这项练习？
• 如果练习引发强烈情绪，您如何保持与自己和他人的联系？
• 在练习过程中，您如何更加意识到并接受出现的任何感受？
• 当练习中出现任何情绪时，您想怎么做？
• 您希望如何在本次练习的背景下探索情感话题并分享它们？

然后，在反馈练习时，帮助来访评估他们的体验，目标CRB2是否被引发，以及由此产生的体验是什么。

具体练习

以下部分简要描述了FAP治疗师常用的特定练习或一般类型的练习。最后三个练习邀请更深层次的反思，因此它们更常被作为家庭作业布置。然而，每个练习的关键部分是在会谈中分享和处理这些工作。

有意分享

来访通常会在会谈开始时描述（或发泄）自上次会谈以来发生的事件。有意分享练习提供了一种结构化的方式来安排这种分享，并在过程中鼓励CRB2。为了实施这项练习，邀请来访在每次会谈开始时，以正念、简洁（一到五分钟）的方式更新他们在过去一到两天内的体验，重点描述他们经历的具体情绪。例如，“我醒来时对我的演讲感到焦虑。不过，它进行得非常好，之后我感到自豪——兴奋。然后我收到一条消息，说一个亲爱的朋友病得很重。我感到震惊。然后非常难过……” 如果有助于增加互惠和联系，你也可以提供一个简短的个人更新。

这个练习常常引发的CRB1包括：分享过多；分享不足；提供的情感描述过于肤浅、混乱或极简；避免讨论更具情感的情境；略过重要的体验；或者未能记住或关注重要事件。有时，在来访说话时提示他们专注于情感是有用的。其他时候，等到来访说完再给予反馈更为有效（例如，“我注意到你倾向于从情感上偏离，转向讲故事。你注意到了吗？”）。

有意分享练习也可以在其他关系中实践，尽管来访不需要表明他们正在做练习，而是可以以更加自然的方式交谈；但是，他们应该保持对自己情感的关注。来访通常会惊讶于当他们采用这种焦点时，他们与他人的连接程度会发生多大的变化。

分享赞赏

在分享赞赏练习中，预留时间——例如在每次会谈结束时——进行有意识的赞赏交换。这可能对那些难以接受他人同情或赞赏，或难以请求赞赏的CRB1来访特别有价值。

你可以邀请来访先说或后说。对于你的部分，分享你在会谈中欣赏来访所说或所做的某件事，或是你总体上欣赏来访的某些方面：

• 我很感激你让我放慢速度，听我说，并帮助我更清楚地看到我需要做什么。
• 我很感激你如此开放地分享了你感到不确定或脆弱的事情。我很感激你让我清晰地看到了你。
• 我很感激你现在在生活中所付出的努力。

当然，赞赏只是可以分享的一种反馈类型。如果与来访的CRB相关，针对建设性批评或请求满足需求可能是有用的；例如，代替交换赞赏，你可以问：“我们今天怎样才能让这次会谈更好？”

定时写作练习

定时写作可以在会谈中使用，也可以作为家庭作业布置。在这个练习中，来访被给予一定的时间，比如三分钟，来写下脑海中浮现的一切，而不加审查。根据来访的CRB选择主题。你可以要求她写你们在治疗中正在解决的特定主题（例如，她感到羞耻的事情、对亲密的恐惧，或对父母的感受）。或者，你可以让她写任何她想写的东西。除了时间限制和任务是书面形式而不是口头表达外，这个练习类似于自由联想，目的是表达在典型社交条件下可能更难接触和表达的感受和想法。换句话说，定时写作任务通常是关于激发脆弱的披露。

为来访提供一些开头语句可能会有所帮助。这里有一些建议，当然你也可以使用其他句子：

• 我很难过……（或者我很受伤……）
• 我很生气……
• 我想念……
• 我松了一口气……
• 我很感激……
• 我抱歉……（或者我后悔……）
• 我希望我有……
• 我希望[某个重要的人]有……
• 我原谅[某个重要的人]……
• 请原谅我……
• 我从未告诉[某个重要的人]……
• [某个重要的人]从未告诉我……
• 从我与这个人的关系中学到的是……
• 我将永远记得……（或者我永远不会忘记……）
• 我

个人生活史

您可以将个人生活史练习——即我们在第6章中提供给您的那个练习——作为家庭作业布置给来访。（许多FAP治疗师会将此练习作为标准的家庭作业，安排在治疗的首次会谈之前或之后。）通过分享他们的故事，来访可以揭示很多关于他们的历史以及与脆弱披露相关的潜在CRB。重要的是要对这个练习的要求保持敏感；对于某些来访来说，这可能会非常强烈——甚至难以想象。根据来访的需要和当前对脆弱性的容忍度，调整您要求的披露程度或细节。

编制清单

编制特定类型体验的清单类似于撰写个人生活史。例如，您可以邀请一个似乎背负着大量未处理悲伤的来访，写一篇专注于失去经历的历史。这可以是激发脆弱披露的一种有用方式，同时处理悲伤和失去的经历。您可以请来访考虑以下示例：

• 从你最早的记忆到现在，有哪些（大或小的）损失让你印象深刻？
• 什么让你感到悲伤、心碎，或者在你的生活中留下了空缺？
• 你的生活中缺少了什么？
• 你认为哪些损失现在应该或能够引起你的反应，但实际上没有？
• 告别对你意味着什么？

其他有用的清单包括成就、亲密关系、感激之情以及羞耻经历。

培养联系

对于一些来访来说，与一个重要的人培养联系可以是一个有用的家庭作业任务。首先，来访需要确定他希望更亲近的具体对象；然后询问那个人是否愿意进行一次对话（或者可能是每周或每月重复的对话），以在情感层面上分享和连接。这里有一些来访可能提出的问题：

• 过去一周里，你遇到的最好的事情是什么？
• 在过去的一周里，什么时候你觉得最接近我？为什么？
• 在过去的一周里，什么时候你觉得离我最远？为什么？
• 你对未来有什么期待或兴奋的事情吗？
• 你最近担心或忧虑的事情是什么？
• 你最近对什么感到感激？为什么？
• 有没有什么话你不想对我说或不愿意传达给我？如果有，是什么？
• 在过去的一周里，你对我有什么欣赏的地方？
• 在过去的一周里，你对自己有什么欣赏的地方？
• 你还有什么想告诉我的吗？

最初，你可以先让来访与你互换回答这些问题，然后再与其他人的实际作业。

总结

• FAP中的家庭作业支持来访在会谈之外的日常生活中泛化CRB2。
• 家庭作业的设计基于功能性思考。家庭作业创造了一个在目标情境中引发目标行为的情境。
• 常见的家庭作业任务包括行为日志、参与特定对话以及在会谈之外与治疗师建立联系。
• FAP中的体验练习，如同家庭作业一样，旨在引发并提供强化CRB2的机会。

知识点阐述

1. 功能性行为改变（CRB2）

   • 定义：CRB2是指那些有助于解决问题或改善个体生活质量的行为变化。
   • 重要性：CRB2是FAP（功能性分析心理治疗）的核心，通过促进这些行为，可以有效提升个体的心理健康和人际关系质量。
   • 具体实践：
     • 识别CRB2：观察并记录来访在治疗过程中出现的积极行为变化。
     • 强化CRB2：通过正向反馈和支持，鼓励来访继续这些行为。
     • 扩展CRB2：将这些行为扩展到日常生活中，以实现更广泛的功能性改变。

2. 家庭作业在FAP中的作用

   • 定义：家庭作业是FAP中用于支持泛化的工具，帮助来访将在治疗会谈中学习到的行为变化应用到日常生活中的其他情境。
   • 重要性：家庭作业使行为改变的过程更加主动和策略化，有助于来访在实际生活中实践新的行为模式。
   • 具体实践：
     • 个性化家庭作业：根据来访的具体情况和目标定制家庭作业，确保其相关性和有效性。
     • 平衡结构与灵活性：家庭作业应既有一定的结构，又允许来访根据实际情况进行调整。
     • 反馈与调整：定期讨论家庭作业的完成情况，并根据来访的反馈进行调整，以提高其针对性和效果。

3. 体验练习在FAP中的应用

   • 定义：体验练习是让来访在实际情境中体验和实践新的行为模式，从而加深理解和掌握。
   • 重要性：体验练习提供了真实的实践机会，有助于来访更好地内化所学内容，并在实际生活中运用。
   • 具体实践：
     • 选择合适的练习：根据来访的需求和目标选择合适的体验练习。
     • 创造安全的环境：确保体验练习在一个安全和支持的环境中进行，以减少来访的恐惧和不安。
     • 引导和反馈：在体验练习过程中提供适当的引导，并在完成后给予反馈，帮助来访总结经验教训。

4. 家庭作业和体验练习的共同特点

   • 定义：无论是家庭作业还是体验练习，都旨在提供一个有效的情境，以引发和强化CRB2。
   • 重要性：两者都是FAP中重要的工具，通过实践帮助来访在实际生活中实现行为改变。
   • 具体实践：
     • 功能性思维：鼓励来访用功能性思维来看待家庭作业和体验练习，将其视为进一步发展的实践。
     • 持续反馈：在整个治疗过程中，不断对家庭作业和体验练习进行反馈和调整，以确保其有效性。

通过这些知识点，我们可以更好地理解如何在FAP中使用家庭作业和体验练习来促进功能性行为改变。家庭作业和体验练习不仅有助于来访在实际生活中实践新的行为模式，还能帮助他们内化所学内容，并在长期中实现持续的改变。这些内容不仅有助于治疗师更有效地开展工作，也能帮助来访在治疗过程中获得更好的体验和支持。

知识点阐述

1. 家庭作业的可行性与现实性

   • 定义：家庭作业应是来访能够完成并且具有实际意义的任务。
   • 重要性：确保家庭作业的可行性有助于提高来访的参与度和成就感，从而促进治疗效果。
   • 具体实践：
     • 评估可行性：在布置家庭作业前，考虑来访的实际情况和能力，确保任务是可以实现的。
     • 设定合理目标：目标应既有挑战性又能被来访接受，以激发他们的积极性。
     • 灵活调整：根据来访的反馈和进展，适时调整家庭作业的内容和难度。

2. 家庭作业的目标指向性

   • 定义：家庭作业应针对重要的行为目标，推动来访尝试新的行为模式。
   • 重要性：明确的目标可以帮助来访集中精力，专注于改变的关键领域。
   • 具体实践：
     • 确定核心行为：识别来访需要改进的主要行为。
     • 设置具体任务：为每个核心行为设计具体的任务，确保来访能够实践并逐步改善。
     • 持续跟进：定期检查家庭作业的效果，确保来访在正确的方向上取得进步。

3. 来访对家庭作业的承诺与CRB

   • 定义：来访对家庭作业的态度和行为可以反映其内在的心理状态和行为模式。
   • 重要性：了解来访对家庭作业的承诺程度有助于治疗师更好地理解来访的需求和动机。
   • 具体实践：
     • 识别CRB1：注意来访在家庭作业中的过度承诺或需求表达不足等行为。
     • 引导CRB2：鼓励来访在家庭作业中表现出更加真实和直接的行为。
     • 强化正面行为：通过正向反馈支持来访在家庭作业中的积极变化。

4. 家庭作业与来访自主性

   • 定义：家庭作业不仅是治疗师布置的任务，也是来访自我管理和成长的机会。
   • 重要性：增强来访的自主性有助于他们更好地掌控自己的治疗过程。
   • 具体实践：
     • 鼓励自我反思：让来访主动记录家庭作业的进展和感受。
     • 提升自主设计：逐渐让来访参与到家庭作业的设计过程中，增加他们的参与感。
     • 定期反馈：与来访讨论家庭作业的成效，共同调整未来的任务。

5. 家庭作业中的风险与收益

   • 定义：家庭作业中的风险是指来访在尝试新行为时可能面临的挑战和不确定性。
   • 重要性：适当的冒险可以帮助来访突破舒适区，获得新的经验和成长。
   • 具体实践：
     • 设定安全边界：确保来访在尝试新行为时不会面临过大的风险。
     • 提供支持：在来访面对挑战时给予必要的支持和指导。
     • 处理失败：教导来访如何从失败中学习，将其视为成长的机会。

6. 特定对话的家庭作业

   • 定义：特定对话的家庭作业是指来访在现实生活中与他人进行的重要对话。
   • 重要性：成功的对话可以显著改善人际关系，促进个人成长。
   • 具体实践：
     • 选择关键对话：与来访一起确定需要进行的关键对话。
     • 准备对话：帮助来访准备对话内容，包括言语、语气和非言语行为。
     • 模拟练习：通过角色扮演等方式进行对话演练，提高来访的信心和技能。
     • 后续反馈：在对话后与来访讨论体验，总结经验教训。

通过这些知识点，我们可以更好地理解如何在FAP中有效地使用家庭作业，以促进来访的行为改变和个人成长。家庭作业不仅是一种工具，也是一种教育和自我管理的过程，通过合理的设置和执行，可以帮助来访在实际生活中应用所学知识，实现持久的变化。这些内容不仅有助于治疗师更有效地开展工作，也能帮助来访在治疗过程中获得更好的体验和支持。

知识点阐述

1. 与治疗师在会谈之外的联系

   • 定义：在会谈之外与治疗师的联系是指通过技术手段（如短信、电子邮件等）进行的沟通，以支持来访在日常生活中的行为改变。
   • 重要性：这种联系可以帮助来访在实际情境中实践新的行为模式，并获得即时的支持和反馈。
   • 具体实践：
     • 遵守法规：确保所有通信方式符合法律法规及专业标准。
     • 设定界限：明确与来访沟通的时间和频率，避免过度接触。
     • 强化行为：利用这些联系机会来强化来访在日常生活中表现出的积极行为。

2. 体验练习的相关性

   • 定义：体验练习旨在通过模拟或特定活动来引发来访的行为变化，使其能够在现实生活中应用。
   • 重要性：有效的体验练习能够帮助来访在安全的环境中尝试新行为，并逐步将这些行为融入日常生活。
   • 具体实践：
     • 功能性分析：选择与来访的具体情况和目标相关的练习。
     • 自然性与功能性：即使练习本身可能显得不自然，其目的是为了在真实情境中产生有用的行为。
     • 预先讨论：与来访讨论练习的目的和期望，确保他们理解并准备好参与。

3. 选择有用的练习

   • 定义：选择合适的体验练习需要基于对来访的具体情况和目标的深入理解。
   • 重要性：正确的练习可以有效地引发目标行为，并为来访提供学习和成长的机会。
   • 具体实践：
     • 目标明确：确定每个练习的具体目标，确保它能够引发所需的CRB2。
     • 个性化设计：根据来访的需求和偏好定制练习内容。
     • 反馈与调整：在练习结束后进行反馈，评估效果，并根据需要调整未来的练习计划。

4. 体验练习的反馈

   • 定义：反馈是体验练习的重要组成部分，它帮助来访理解和内化他们在练习中的体验。
   • 重要性：通过反馈，来访可以更好地认识自己的行为模式，并学会如何在未来类似情境中应用所学。
   • 具体实践：
     • 评估体验：讨论来访在练习中的感受和体验。
     • 确认行为：确认目标行为是否被引发，并讨论其影响。
     • 总结经验：帮助来访总结从练习中学到的经验教训，并制定行动计划。

通过这些知识点，我们可以更好地理解如何在FAP中有效地使用与治疗师在会谈之外的联系和体验练习，以促进来访的行为改变和个人成长。这些工具不仅有助于治疗师更有效地开展工作，也能帮助来访在治疗过程中获得更好的体验和支持。通过合理的设置和执行，可以帮助来访在实际生活中应用所学知识，实现持久的变化。

知识点阐述

1. 有意分享

   • 定义：有意分享是一种结构化的练习，来访在会谈开始时简要报告过去一到两天内的重要情绪体验。
   • 重要性：通过这种练习，来访可以学会如何更好地表达自己的情感，同时增强与治疗师的连接。
   • 具体实践：
     • 设定时间限制：确保来访在有限的时间内（如一到五分钟）完成分享。
     • 聚焦情感：引导来访专注于描述具体的情绪，而不是单纯讲述故事。
     • 即时反馈：在来访分享后，提供即时反馈，帮助他们识别并改进分享中的问题。

2. 分享赞赏

   • 定义：分享赞赏是指在会谈结束时，来访和治疗师互相表达对对方的感激之情。
   • 重要性：这种练习有助于建立积极的互动模式，促进来访的自我价值感和治疗关系的质量。
   • 具体实践：
     • 轮流分享：来访和治疗师轮流分享彼此的赞赏。
     • 真诚表达：确保赞赏是真诚的，基于具体的观察和感受。
     • 扩展至其他情境：鼓励来访在日常生活中的其他关系中也实践分享赞赏。

3. 定时写作练习

   • 定义：定时写作是一种在限定时间内自由写作的练习，来访可以无拘束地表达内心的想法和感受。
   • 重要性：这种练习可以帮助来访探索和表达深层的情感，特别是那些平时难以表达的情感。
   • 具体实践：
     • 设定时间：通常设定三分钟左右的时间。
     • 选择主题：根据来访的治疗目标选择合适的主题。
     • 提供开头语句：给出一些开头语句，帮助来访启动写作过程。
     • 后续讨论：在写作完成后，与来访讨论他们的作品，帮助他们理解和处理其中的情感内容。

通过这些具体的练习，FAP治疗师可以有效地帮助来访在情感表达、人际互动和个人成长方面取得进步。这些练习不仅能够增强来访与治疗师之间的连接，还能帮助来访在日常生活中应用所学技能，从而实现持久的行为改变。此外，这些练习强调了情感的真实性和深度，使来访能够在安全和支持的环境中探索和表达自己。通过持续的实践和反馈，来访可以逐步提高自己的情感表达能力，并在现实生活中建立更加健康和有意义的人际关系。

知识点阐述

1. 个人生活史

   • 定义：个人生活史是一种让来访详细描述其生活经历的练习，包括重要的事件、情感体验和个人发展。
   • 重要性：通过这个练习，治疗师可以深入了解来访的背景和潜在的心理问题，帮助识别与脆弱披露相关的CRB。
   • 具体实践：
     • 敏感性：认识到这个练习可能对某些来访来说是非常情绪化的，因此需要根据来访的承受能力调整要求。
     • 逐步深入：可以从较为轻松的话题开始，逐渐引导来访探讨更深层次的情感体验。
     • 反馈和支持：在来访完成练习后，提供反馈和支持，帮助他们处理可能出现的情绪。

2. 编制清单

   • 定义：编制清单是指来访记录特定类型的经历，如失去、成就、亲密关系等。
   • 重要性：这种练习有助于来访识别和处理特定的情感体验，特别是那些长期被忽视或压抑的情感。
   • 具体实践：
     • 选择主题：根据来访的具体情况选择合适的主题。
     • 引导反思：通过一系列问题引导来访反思和探索这些经历。
     • 情感处理：帮助来访处理清单中涉及的情感，尤其是那些可能导致脆弱披露的部分。

3. 培养联系

   • 定义：培养联系是指来访与一个重要的人建立更深层次的情感联系。
   • 重要性：这种练习有助于增强来访的人际关系，提高他们在现实生活中应用所学技能的能力。
   • 具体实践：
     • 选择对象：帮助来访确定一个他们希望更亲近的人。
     • 对话设计：提供一系列问题，帮助来访与对方进行有意义的对话。
     • 情感交流：鼓励来访在对话中表达真实的情感，并倾听对方的感受。
     • 反馈和调整：在来访完成对话后，讨论他们的体验，并根据需要调整未来的对话计划。

4. 家庭作业的作用

   • 定义：家庭作业是指在治疗会谈之外为来访布置的任务，旨在帮助他们在日常生活中应用和巩固所学技能。
   • 重要性：家庭作业可以帮助来访将治疗中的学习成果转化为实际行为，促进长期的行为改变。
   • 具体实践：
     • 功能性设计：确保家庭作业的设计符合功能分析的原则，能够在目标情境中引发目标行为。
     • 多样化任务：根据来访的具体需求和目标，设计多样化的家庭作业任务。
     • 反馈和强化：在下一次会谈中，与来访讨论他们的家庭作业完成情况，并提供适当的反馈和强化。

通过这些具体的练习和家庭作业，FAP治疗师可以有效地帮助来访在情感表达、人际互动和个人成长方面取得进步。这些练习不仅能够增强来访与治疗师之间的连接，还能帮助来访在日常生活中应用所学技能，从而实现持久的行为改变。此外，这些练习强调了情感的真实性和深度，使来访能够在安全和支持的环境中探索和表达自己。通过持续的实践和反馈，来访可以逐步提高自己的情感表达能力，并在现实生活中建立更加健康和有意义的人际关系。

C H A P T E R 12 Solidify Change with Homework and Experiential Exercises This is the real secret of life—­to be completely engaged with what you are doing in the here and now. And instead of calling it work, realize it is play. —­Alan Watts “What you did with me in session today was so powerful. The way you ‘dropped the wall’—­and yet I could see you staying in contact with me, even with your anxiety, through your eye contact. I have the sense it took a lot of courage and trust to take that leap.” “Yes. I feel really proud about it. I feel like I’m doing something I’ve not let myself do for so long.” “I’m glad to be here with you. And I’m curious, as we come into our last ten minutes today, are there places in your life this week, with other people, where it could be useful, or powerful, to drop the wall in a similar way? Maybe not 100 percent like you did with me. But maybe 10 percent? Or 30 percent? Do you know what I mean?” “Yes, absolutely. What comes to mind is, I have a volunteer group meeting on Wednesday. There’s a new member, a guy who I’ve only met briefly before, but I’ve heard so many good things about him. I’ve already been anticipating feeling really insecure and closed up. I’d like to try dropping the wall some more with him. Just being real.” In this vignette, the therapist reinforces the progress the client makes in the session, but, rather than stop there, she suggests the client take this behavior to the outside world. This is a form of homework, one of the topics of this short chapter. Homework in FAP is a tool for rule 5 (support generalization). We also present a small set of experiential exercises in this chapter that might be useful in FAP. We’ve combined these two topics in one chapter for a few reasons. First, many expe- riential exercises are suitable as homework assignments. Second, good, functionally attuned home- work assignments and experiential exercises are defined by a common quality: they provide an effective context for evoking CRB2 and for receiving reinforcing consequences for that behavior. We encourage you to think about them in this similar way, as further practice in developing func- tional thinking. HOMEWORK Homework is often a crucial therapy tool. In FAP, it’s a tool for following rule 5, support generaliza- tion. Rule 5 is about providing a means for transferring in-­session behavior change to other con- texts in the client’s life. In that sense, homework is simply a cue or framework for doing certain things in certain situations. As a general rule, homework is assigned every session. This guideline is rooted in FAP’s founda- tion in behavior therapy. The goal of therapy is to change how clients are functioning in their lives. Homework is about making the process of change deliberate, active, and strategic. At the same time, homework need not be overtly focused on action. It can target a broad range of behaviors: noticing, reflecting, thinking, feeling, as well as taking action. Individualizing Homework Homework should be individualized to the client’s behavioral goals and contexts. This might mean adapting one of the exercises we offer, or it might mean designing homework assignments from scratch. You can let go of rigid formats for homework activities (as in, “You’ve got to do it this way because that’s what the manual says”) and instead flexibly attend to the functional question “What will work for this client this week?” The simplest homework is to practice CRB2 outside of session. As an example, for the client in the opening vignette of this chapter, the homework is simply practicing the behavior of courageous self-­disclosure, first undertaken in session, when opportunities to do so naturally arise. The client identifies a natural setting where she wants to practice CRB2 (and based on contextual under- standing, the therapist and client together are confident that the client can be successful in that context), but she also has freedom to improvise. Alternatively, the homework could entail having very specific conversations and conducting them in a very particular way, perhaps even starting with a prepared script. It’s important to strike the right balance between structure and flexibility. Homework is often most effective when clients own the process of creating it and are encouraged to adapt it to the situations they face and in ways that seem to work. Keep in mind that sometimes it takes time to build the confidence and skills to make such adaptations. In contrast, when clients take on rote assignments in a rote way, they’re more likely to give up when the assignments don’t seem to achieve the desired change or it’s not clear how to adapt the assignment to reality. A structured assignment should be targeted to a very specific context in which the client needs structure; or it should be able to be completed independently of context (for example, simply filling out a work- sheet). A flexible assignment should be given when the client will succeed with that flexibility (even if it is somewhat challenging; for example, if the client is working on the behavior of making deci- sions under conditions of uncertainty, she might be slightly uncomfortable but perfectly capable of enduring the discomfort). Finally, remember that assigning homework is another aspect of the therapy process, in which a range of CRB (or T1s and T2s) might be evoked. This applies not just to assigning homework, but also to whether and how clients complete it. Throughout the therapy process it’s important to debrief about homework assignments and revise them to be more focused and effective. Integrating these considerations, here are some questions that can keep you and your clients on track in regard to homework. Is the homework feasible and realistic? As a general rule, an intense, important assignment that clients don’t complete isn’t as useful as a more modest assignment that they will actually do. Does the homework address important behavioral targets? Homework that doesn’t challenge clients to try something new isn’t particularly useful either. Homework should be feasible but should also target the most important behaviors and push clients to try new things. The outcome of homework should be something new. Is the client’s commitment (or lack of commitment) to the homework CRB? For some clients, compliance with homework is CRB1—­part of a pattern of overcommitment and underexpression of needs that tends to create frustration and burnout. For them, assigning homework can provide a context in which they are invited to practice the CRB2 of making realistic commitments and being direct about their needs. For other clients, failure to follow through on homework assignments is an important CRB1, though this may, of course, reflect similar deficits in expressing their needs prior to agreeing to an unrealistic commitment. Are you collaborating on homework in a way that builds the client’s mastery? Clients should actively keep track of what does and doesn’t work in regard to homework, not just whether they did it or not. Similarly, ideally they will become increasingly autonomous in designing and debriefing their homework, reflecting increased skill at self-­management. Keep in mind that homework that doesn’t turn out the way you or the client thought it would isn’t necessarily “failed” homework. It can still provide invaluable learning. Among other things, “failed homework” provides an opportunity to see and engage with how the client responds to setbacks and learns from them. Three Common Types of FAP Homework In this section we present three standard types of FAP homework: keeping a behavior log, engaging in specific conversations, and connecting with the therapist outside of session. KEEPING A BEHAVIOR LOG The concept of a behavior log is simple: in a diary, clients track behaviors relevant to therapy goals between sessions. Use any format that works for a given client: a journal, a structured form, a spreadsheet, and so on. Many potentially useful target behaviors can be tracked in this way, including engaging in vul- nerable self-­disclosure, expressing emotions, offering or requesting feedback, making requests or expressing needs, or approaching significant conflicts or disagreements. Of course, you can also target more specific contexts or actions in keeping with the case conceptualization. One common focus for behavior logs is risk; in fact, we often ask clients to keep a “risk log” in which they keep track of interpersonal risks. In FAP, taking risks means approaching interpersonal situations that clients might otherwise avoid; it doesn’t mean engaging in reckless or destructive actions. Risks are strategic. That said, engaging in a deliberate practice of risk-­taking will involve occasional “failures” in the sense of not getting the desired results. Therefore, encouraging clients to engage in this kind of risk-­taking typically involves both experiencing the benefits of risks, as well as learning to cope with and respond to failure or disappointment in new ways. In the bigger picture, the function of risk-­taking extends beyond immediate results as clients engage in an overarching practice of pursuing goals or values despite the chance they might encounter obstacles or failure. For some clients, tracking risk is exactly the wrong homework. For example, clients who are too impulsive, tend to lack awareness of the appropriateness of their behavior, or are unlikely to experience a positive response should not track risks. For these kinds of clients, it might be better to keep an “impact log” (What impact do I think I have on others?) to build skill with seeing other perspectives. Behavior logs can be used to track any behavior that fits the case conceptualization and CRB2, from a “loving others log” to a “self-­care log” to a “proud-­moments log.” We tend to favor tracking CRB2 (improvements) over CRB1 (problem behavior) because it is generally more appetitive to track improvements. Besides making behavior change visible and providing you the opportunity to respond to prog- ress, the log provides a window into the client’s daily life, potentially revealing features of his or her behavior you might not otherwise notice: absence of emotion, an excessive focus on negative events, avoidance of important relationships or issues, and so on. The way the client writes the log can also reveal CRB. ENGAGING IN SPECIFIC CONVERSATIONS Success in a single important conversation can have a massive positive impact on the trajectory of a relationship. For example, talking about a long-­avoided issue with a friend, discussing the idea of having children with a partner, making plans for the holidays with a difficult family member, giving feedback to a partner about the impact of his drinking, or asking for a raise or change of focus at work can dramatically alter a client’s life. As therapists, we are perfectly situated to help clients craft and engage in these conversations. The first step of this multilayered homework assignment is to identify a crucial conversation. Then work with the client toward the goal of making the conversation happen in a successful way. Preparation is key. Sometimes the words or tone that the client needs to bring to the conversation will already have happened in the therapy relationship as CRB2. In that case, the instruction is to “do what you did with me in that conversation.” Sometimes it takes a while to shape up the CRB before you and the client are confident he will be successful. You may also need to prepare the client in more direct ways to create a bridge between in-­ session work and the conversation itself. For instance, you might collaboratively create a thirty-­to-­ sixty-­second script for an opening statement to begin the conversation. You may want to coach the client in important aspects of the conversation in a more didactic way, such as remembering to vali- date or not casting blame. Remember that tone and body language are sometimes more important than what is said. It can also be useful to attend to the setting of the conversation; for example, depending on what will work best, you may want to suggest e-­mail or written form for some con- versations rather than face-­to-­face, or vice versa. (E-­mail is often solid ground for learning because it provides the opportunity to really craft a message.) Some therapists are hesitant to provide such highly directive guidance about how to engage in conversations. However, when clients lack the skills to converse effectively and yet a conversation needs to happen, teaching the needed skills directly can be extremely helpful and more efficient than waiting for clients to discover the skill for themselves. There are, of course, many different resources available for training in social skills and communication, including books related to psy- chology, self-­help, and business. You can use these resources to train yourself. You can also recom- mend that clients use them as appropriate. (Susan Scott’s 2002 book Fierce Conversations is a favorite of the authors.) oasis-ebl|Rsalles|1490488867 CONNECTING WITH THE THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF SESSION Although FAP homework often focuses on client interactions with significant people, in some contexts it may be helpful to choose homework that involves interacting with the therapist outside of session. Technology has made this kind of connection immensely easier. However, two impor- tant caveats are in order: First, and obviously, any technology used for therapy purposes should comply with relevant laws and your professional and organizational guidelines. Second, it’s impor- tant that this kind of contact not exceed the therapist’s limits, and that any CRB1 or T1 be addressed. (This practice mirrors the skill coaching elements of dialectical behavior therapy.) Caveats aside, out-­of-­session contact with the therapist can be a strategic way to provide the client an additional bridge between therapy and daily life. It gives the therapist an opportunity to respond in reinforcing ways to behaviors when and where they happen. For instance, consider a client who’s working on noticing and approaching moments of happiness; his homework assign- ment might be to notice and take pictures of things that make him happy and then send the pic- tures to his therapist in the moment via text message. The therapist can then respond as befits the case conceptualization or her guidelines. As another example, the homework for a client struggling with disconnection might be noticing her disconnection in the moment and then reaching out to her therapist with a short e-­mail (“I’m feeling disconnected now.”), thereby creating connection in moments of disconnection. EXPERIENTIAL EXERCISES The remainder of this chapter offers a small sample of experiential exercises that can be useful vehicles for implementing the five rules of FAP in session; or they can be used as homework assign- ments that set the stage for in-­session work. We recommend viewing them as templates for adapta- tion or as inspiration for creating client-­specific exercises or homework. Before we turn to the specific exercises, there are a few things to consider prior to using them. Keeping Exercises Relevant There has been some debate in the FAP community about experiential exercises—­specifically, whether they’re clinically useful. The main concern of detractors is that exercises are a weird or artificial context detached from normal interpersonal interactions, and because of that, behavior shaped by exercises can’t really transfer to other settings. In other word, they’re irrelevant. And, even worse, they argue that exercises may actually do harm; for instance, an exercise might encour- age intense emotional disclosure that would be disastrous if replicated in a professional meeting. There’s also a more general concern that using structured exercises could insidiously lead thera- pists away from functional attunement—­that is, being aware of what clients are experiencing and need in the moment. In other words, the therapist might become more concerned about the goal of the exercise than about the client. Although these are valid concerns, at its core FAP is about using any therapeutic tool, including exercises, in a way that’s functionally attuned, embedded in a working functional analysis, and ori- ented toward transferring behavior shaped in the here and now to relevant settings in the client’s life. If therapists keep that orientation in mind, the “unnatural” nature of experiential exercises (or any other aspect of therapy, for that matter) can in fact serve several useful functions. One is that exercises sometimes offer an expedient way to evoke a behavior that might not otherwise occur naturally but would function well in a given situation. For instance, consider a client who would benefit from practicing giving and receiving appreciation. In this case, you might introduce the exercise “sharing appreciations” (which we present shortly): “In the service of practicing positive connections, let’s end each session by exchanging appreciations. This is also a good way to let me know in the moment what’s most important or effective about what we did today. How about if we take turns and share one or two appreciations each. Would you like to go first?” In this case, the exercise is essentially a directive and evocative (in the sense of rule 2) interven- tion. The method of evoking, and the exercise itself, can be somewhat unnatural; for example, it’s unlikely that clients will receive direct requests to exchange appreciations in other contexts (although this is actually a very useful interpersonal strategy). However, the behavior that’s shaped in the exercise (giving and receiving appreciation) can function well in a variety of real-­life contexts. Selecting Useful Exercises The same functional analysis that guides the selection of any intervention in FAP should be used to choose exercises. The primary question to ask yourself is, how can this exercise evoke CRB2 for a given client? Different exercises tend to evoke different CRB2s for different clients. In turn, once the target CRB2 is evoked, ensure that it’s reinforced, whether it be within the exercise itself or while debriefing the exercise afterward. Sometimes it’s useful to discuss with the client in advance what the exercise will evoke and what the client should focus on in the exercise. For example, depending on a given client’s case conceptualization, you might ask one of the following questions: How can you engage in this exercise in a way that’s meaningful to you? How can you remain connected with yourself and others if the exercise elicits strong emotion? How can you be more aware and accepting of whatever feelings come up for you during the exercise? What do you want to do in the presence of any emotions that come up during the exercise? How do you want to explore emotional topics and share about them in the context of this exercise? Then, when you debrief exercises, help clients assess what they experienced, whether the target CRB2 was evoked, and what they experienced as a result. Specific Exercises The following sections briefly describe specific exercises, or general types of exercises, com- monly used by FAP therapists. The last three exercises invite deeper reflection, so they are more often assigned as homework. A critical part of each one, however, is sharing and processing the work in session. INTENTIONAL SHARING Clients often begin sessions by describing (or venting about) events that happened since the last session. The intentional sharing exercise offers a way to structure and contain such sharing and to encourage CRB2 during the process. To put this exercise into action, invite clients to begin ses- sions with a mindful, succinct (one-­to-­five-­minute) update about what they experienced over the previous one to two days, with a focus on describing specific emotions they experienced. For example, “I woke up feeling anxious about my presentation. It went really well, though, and after- wards I felt proud—­excited. Then I got a message that a dear friend is really sick. I felt stunned. Then really sad…” If it seems helpful for increasing reciprocity and connection, you can offer a brief personal update as well. Common CRB1s evoked by this exercise include sharing too much; not sharing enough; offer- ing descriptions of emotion that are thin, confusing, minimal, and so on; avoiding the discussion of more emotional situations; skimming over significant experiences; or failing to remember or attend to significant events. Sometimes it is useful to cue the client to stay focused on emotions as he’s talking. At other times it’s more effective to wait until the client is finished before offering your feedback (for example, “I noticed that you tended to drift away from emotions and toward story- telling. Did you notice that?”). The intentional sharing exercise can be practiced in other relationships as well, though clients don’t need to signal that they’re doing an exercise and can instead talk in a more natural way; however, they should remain mindful of their emotions. Clients are often surprised by the amount of change they experience regarding the level of connection to others they feel when they adopt this focus. SHARING APPRECIATIONS In the sharing appreciations exercise, set aside time—­for example, at the end of each session—­ for the deliberate exchange of appreciation. This may be particularly valuable for clients with CRB1s related to difficulty accepting compassion or appreciation from others or asking for appreciation. You can invite the client to go first or second. For your part, share something the client said or did in the session that you appreciate, or something you appreciate about the client in general: I appreciate the way you slowed me down, listened to me, and helped me see more clearly what I need to do. I appreciate how open you were in sharing things you felt uncertain or vulnerable about. I appreciate that you let me see you clearly. I appreciate how hard you are working in your life at this point. Of course, appreciation is just one type of feedback that can be shared. If relevant to the cli- ent’s CRB, it may be useful to target constructive criticism or asking for a need to be met; for example, instead of exchanging appreciation you could ask, “How could we have made the session better today?”

TIMED WRITING EXERCISES Timed writing can be used in session or assigned as homework. In this exercise, clients are given a set amount of time, such as three minutes, to write whatever comes to mind without cen- soring. Choose the topic based on the client’s CRB. You can ask her to write about a specific topic that the two of you are addressing in therapy (for example, what she feels shame about, the fear of closeness, or feelings toward a parent). Alternatively, you can ask the client to write about whatever is on her mind. Other than a time limit and the task being written rather than oral, the exercise is a lot like free association, with the aim being to express feelings and thoughts that may be more difficult to contact and express under typical social conditions. In other words, the timed writing task is often about evoking vulnerable disclosure. It can be helpful to provide stem phrases for clients to work with. Here are a few suggestions, though of course you can use others: I’m sad that… (or I’m hurt that…) I’m angry that… I miss… I’m relieved that… I’m grateful that… I’m sorry about… (or I regret…) I wish I had… I wish [someone significant] had… I forgive [someone significant] for… Please forgive me for… I never told [someone significant] that… [Someone significant] never told me that… What I learned from my relationship with this person is… I will always remember… (or I will never forget…) I want [someone significant] to know… If only I could…

LIFE HISTORY You may assign the life history exercise—­the same one we gave you in chapter 6—­as home- work for your clients. (Many FAP therapists assign this exercise as standard homework in prepara- tion for or immediately following the first session of therapy.) By sharing their stories, clients reveal a lot about their history as well as potential CRB related to vulnerable disclosure. It’s important to be sensitive to the demands of this exercise; it may be incredibly intense—­even unthinkable—­for some clients. Adjust the level of disclosure or detail you ask for based on the client’s needs and current tolerance for vulnerability. COMPILING AN INVENTORY Compiling an inventory about a particular type of experience is similar to writing a life history. For example, you might invite a client who seems to be carrying a lot of avoided grief to write a history focused on experiences of loss. This can be a useful way to evoke vulnerable disclosure alongside the processing of sadness and the experiences of loss. You might ask clients to consider one of these examples: From your earliest memories to the present, what are the losses (big and small) that you’ve endured in life that stand out to you? What has made you sad, broken your heart, or left a gap in your life? What has been missing in your life? What losses do you think should or could evoke a response in you now but don’t? What do good-­byes bring up for you? Other useful inventories include accomplishments, close relationships, appreciation, and shame- ful experiences. NURTURING CONNECTION For some clients, nurturing connection with an important person can be a useful homework assignment. First, the client needs to identify a specific person he’d like to be closer to; then he asks that person if she’d be willing to have a conversation (or perhaps a conversation that repeats weekly or monthly) to share and connect on an emotional level. Here are some potential questions the client might pose: What was the best thing that happened to you this past week? When did you feel closest to me this past week? Why? When did you feel most distant from me this past week? Why? What are you excited about or looking forward to doing in the near future? What are you concerned or worried about? What have you recently felt grateful for? Why? Is there anything you’re avoiding saying or communicating to me? If so, what is it? What have you appreciated about me this past week? What have you appreciated about yourself this past week? Is there anything else you want to tell me? Initially, you might ask clients to answer these questions with you reciprocally before doing the assignment with others. SUMMARY • Homework in FAP supports the generalization of CRB2 in the client’s daily life outside of session. • Homework design is based on functional thinking. Homework creates a context that evokes target behavior in target contexts. • Common types of homework assignments include behavior logs, engaging in specific conversations, and connecting with the therapist outside of session. • Experiential exercises in FAP, like homework, are designed to evoke and provide an opportunity for reinforcing CRB2.