26. 促进行动

促进行动

通过使用前几章中描述的咨询技巧，一个人可以从他们的困扰状态中走出来，进入一个更舒适的情绪空间。如果能够实现这一点，那么他们在短期内显然已经从咨询过程中得到了帮助，对某些人来说，这已经足够了。然而，对其他人来说，他们的情绪困扰可能是由于不健康的行为或根深蒂固的生活状况造成的。对他们来说，除非采取行动帮助他们做出选择并采取行动改变这些不健康的行为或生活状况，否则情绪困扰很可能会再次出现。

正如我们在上一章中解释的那样，有时一个人会感到困顿，无法做出决定或采取行动。就好像他们的思想和情感阻碍了他们前进。当这种情况发生时，尤其是对于新手咨询师来说，有一种诱惑，试图鼓励、说服或以其他方式推动他们做出决定并付诸行动。

你有没有经历过当你试图说服某人做与他们以前不同的事情时，他们会表现出抵抗？我们人类有点像谚语中的驴子。有人推拉我们得越厉害，我们越倾向于抵抗！因此，如果我们希望帮助寻求我们帮助的人做出选择并采取行动改变，我们必须抵制试图推动他们做出决定和采取行动的诱惑，而是使用不同的策略。

作为综合咨询师，我们认为在尝试帮助人们克服阻止他们改变行为或状况的障碍时，可以从格式塔疗法理论的一个特定方面中学到东西。关于如何处理这些障碍或抵抗的相关理论，Zinker（1978）和最近的Clarkson和Cavicchia（2014）做了很好的描述。Zinker通过使用意识圈来说明咨询中发生的改变。

格式塔意识圈

在讨论意识圈之前，我们想提醒读者，作为综合咨询师，我们相信咨询中的变化过程通常如第16章所述，并在第135页的图16.1中所示。在这个过程中，我们首先强调情感，然后是思想，最后是行为。格式塔治疗师则不同，他们同时处理身体体验、情感感受和思想，因为他们非常重视这些方面的相互联系。他们通过提高人们对身体体验、感受和思想的意识来工作，因为这些方面相互连接。作为综合治疗师，我们也提高对感受和思想的意识，但我们通过使用本书前面描述的各种咨询技巧来依次进行。与格式塔治疗师不同，我们倾向于在使用直接影响思维的策略之前先处理情感。即便如此，意识的概念是非常有用的。

现在我们已经指出了格式塔治疗师和综合咨询师工作方式的不同，让我们来看看格式塔意识圈。这个圈描述了如何通过提高个人的意识来帮助他们澄清问题、探索选项并做出未来的决定。图26.1显示了Zinker的格式塔意识圈的一个修改版本。如图所示，人们通常在情绪困扰时寻求咨询。这是他们在意识圈上的觉醒点，情绪被不愉快地唤醒。咨询师的任务是帮助他们沿着圈移动，达到满意或休息的状态。这是通过提高他们对自己整个情况的意识来实现的。作为综合咨询师，我们所做的工作是积极倾听对方讲述他们的故事，帮助他们接触自己的情感，然后帮助他们澄清自己的想法。通过这样做，我们提高了他们对自己内部体验和对情况的认知的意识。

觉醒阶段

在觉醒阶段，情绪困扰的人无法清晰聚焦，他们对自己的世界有一个模糊混乱的图景。就好像他们正在看一片被过多树木和灌木丛生的森林。他们无法清晰地看到任何一棵树，而是被一个模糊和令人困惑的图景所淹没。在这种状态下，他们的能量耗尽。他们将无法看到自己的选项，因此几乎没有希望采取任何行动来改变自己的状况。

提高意识以动员能量

如果一个人想要感觉更好，他们需要动员自己的能量，以便能够建设性地解决他们的问题。咨询师可以通过提高他们对自己内心体验的意识来促进这种能量的动员。作为一名培训中的咨询师，如果你已经掌握了前几章中描述的技能，那么你就具备了完成这项任务的工具。通过使用这些咨询技巧，你必然会提高他们对自己当前情况的情感感受和思想的意识，因此他们在寻求改变时会变得更加有活力。

沿着意识圈移动

有时，一旦意识提高，一个人会轻松地沿着意识圈移动。使用之前的比喻，树木繁茂的森林将成为背景，一棵树的轮廓将清晰地显现出来。这个人的困惑将消失，他们将自然地沿着圈移动，做出选择，采取行动，进入满意或休息的状态。在生活中，我们不会停留在休息状态，如果这样做了，我们可能什么也做不成。我们所做的是一次又一次地沿着意识圈移动。

图26.1 格式塔意识圈

阶段	描述
动员能量	通过提高意识来动员能量，使个体能够积极解决问题。
意识	个体开始意识到自己的内心体验、情感和思想。
选择	个体在意识提高后，能够清晰地看到自己的选项。
行动	个体采取行动，实施选择的方案。
觉醒	个体处于情绪困扰的状态，需要咨询师的帮助来提高意识。
休息或满意	个体达到满意或休息的状态，问题得到解决。

需要额外帮助采取行动的人

有些人会反复利用咨询过程，使他们能够在不满意的生活状况中继续存在而不改变。有时在咨询过程中，看起来他们像是在一遍又一遍地重复播放同一盘磁带。当他们这样做时，他们可能会进一步陷入绝望和无助。这些人如果要带来有意义的生活变化，可能需要特定的帮助来促进行动。另外，有些人即使决定了他们想要做什么，也会发现自己无法向前采取行动，不是因为心理障碍，而是因为他们没有必要的技能或信心来执行他们希望采取的行动。这些人可能从额外的帮助中受益。本章的其余部分将讨论帮助那些没有必要自信或个人资源来制定和实施行动计划的人的方法。

显然，咨询师接管个人采取行动的责任是没有帮助的。这样做会强化个人的无助感，并使他们认为每次设定新目标时都需要帮助。有帮助的是让个人学会如何组织、计划和执行决策，以便将来他们能够自己做这些事情。帮助一个人学习的好方法是与他们一起前行，并在他们努力实现一个重要目标时与他们合作。然后，如果愿意，你可以与他们一起探讨实现目标的过程。个人可以识别出对他们最有用的过程，以便在实现未来的目标时使用。

虽然每种情况都不同，但有一些基本步骤可以帮助人们采取行动以实现目标。这些步骤列在以下行动计划中。

行动计划

做好心理准备。

确定目标。

确定实现目标的第一步。

具体化实现目标的第一步。

决定如何执行第一步。

获取执行第一步所需的技能。

决定何时执行第一步。

执行第一步。

为自己执行第一步而奖励自己。

重新评估整体目标。

我们现在将按照上述顺序详细讨论这些步骤。为了使练习更具意义，我们将考虑一个具体例子：一位与青少年儿子关系失调的父亲。

心理准备

这在本章的前面部分已经讨论过。咨询师提高个人的意识，使他们能够克服障碍并做出决策。

确定目标

假设我们例子中的父亲已经决定他想要改善与儿子的关系。对许多人来说，确定这样的目标就足以促进行动，咨询师的工作也就结束了。对其他人来说，则需要进一步的帮助。

确定实现目标的第一步

对某些人来说，改善与儿子关系的目标可能过于宽泛和不具体。他们可能不清楚如何实现这一目标，因此积极的行动不太可能发生。这样的人可能需要确定实现目标的第一步。这第一步需要切实可行，以便个人更可能因成功而受到激励，而不是因失败而气馁。

咨询师可能会问：“你打算如何着手改善与儿子的关系？”也许父亲会回答：“嗯，我想先和他谈谈，但这很可怕，因为我们已经有几个月没有说过任何愉快的话了。”

显然，在这一点上，咨询师会将焦点从预期的行动转移到提高个人对与儿子交谈的恐惧的意识上。如果这不做到，个人可能会被行动所阻碍。

具体化实现目标的第一步

一旦确定了实现目标的第一步，就需要将其具体化，使其明确具体而不是模糊不清。例如，“我想和我儿子谈谈”这句话非常笼统。这次谈话的价值可能取决于谈话的目的和谈话内容。咨询师的问题如“你想对儿子说什么？”和“你希望通过这次谈话实现什么？”可能会获得更具体的信息，如“我想告诉他我为什么对他这么生气，这样我就可以把那些垃圾抛开，开始以积极的方式与他相处”。

决定如何执行第一步

这个决定需要考虑提议行动的可能后果。例如，上一段中的陈述“我想告诉他我为什么对他这么生气……”表明这个人打算以一种可能导致进一步疏远而不是和解的方式与儿子对峙。在这个时候，咨询师可以进行一些角色扮演，让个人体验作为预期信息接收者的感受。

获取执行第一步所需的技能

个人可能需要获取新技能才能有能力有效地执行第一步。在我们当前的例子中，咨询师可能会指导个人使用“I”语句，并进行进一步的角色扮演，以确定个人打算对儿子说的话可能产生的影响。

决定何时执行第一步

有时，当人们不得不执行不愉快的任务时，他们会以时间不合适为借口推迟他们决定要做的事情。你会这样做吗？我们认为大多数人都会这样做，延迟行动往往会导致没有行动。我们发现，如果我们对提议的时间做出了明确的决定，通常更容易执行我们的计划。我们认为对许多人来说也是如此，因此与寻求帮助的人探讨时间问题是有用的。这可能会导致更多的意识提升——回到意识圈！

执行第一步

无论个人是否执行了第一步，这都不重要。如果他们执行了，他们可以为此感到高兴；如果没有，他们可以从这个过程中学到东西。个人可以再次接触他们的内在体验，发现是什么阻止了他们执行第一步，从这种意识中可以做出新的决定。

为自己执行第一步而奖励自己

你是否会低估你的成就？我们有时会这样做，但我们越来越擅长为我们做得好的事情感到自豪。我们注意到，许多人在成功完成困难任务时未能给自己积极的信息。我们建议在咨询时，你可能会希望鼓励那些寻求你帮助的人通过正面概述他们的成就来对自己感觉良好。一个因执行第一步而得到适当奖励的人更有可能继续做出积极的决策并付诸实施。

重新评估整体目标

通常，当一个人在某个方向上走了一段路之后，他们会意识到最初设定的目标已经不再被需要。这显然是可以的，但个人随后需要重新评估他们的整体目标。

结论

在本章中，我们讨论了促进行动所需的技能。一般来说，如果你使用之前学过的咨询技能，并记住在这里关于意识圈的发现，你很可能成功地帮助个人采取适当的行动，以带来有意义的生活变化。此外，当明确一个人在没有更多具体帮助的情况下无法前进时，上述行动计划可以使用。

学习总结

直接推动选择或行动很可能会失败并增加情绪困扰。

为了最大化选择或行动的可能性，提高对障碍的意识。

在考虑改变时的一个主要两难问题是选择“保持现状”还是“做些不同的事”。

保持现状涉及已知的痛苦。

做些不同的事涉及未知的痛苦和结果。这是有风险的！

行动计划对某些人有帮助。

行动计划涉及为行动做准备、设定具体目标以及为采取第一步设置奖励。

参考文献和进一步阅读

Clarkson, P. & Cavicchia, S. 2014, Gestalt Counselling in Action, 4th edn, SAGE, London.

Ivey, A.E., Ivey, M.B. & Zalaquett, C.P. 2015, Influencing Client Actions and Decisions, in A.E. Ivey, et al.

Zinker, J. 1978, Creative Process in Gestalt Therapy, Vintage, New York.

本章知识点阐述

进一步阐述知识点

促进行动的重要性

短期帮助：
- 对于一些人来说，通过咨询帮助他们从困扰状态中走出来，进入一个更舒适的情绪空间，已经足够了。
- 但是，对于其他人来说，情绪困扰可能是由于不健康的行为或根深蒂固的生活状况引起的。如果不采取行动帮助他们改变，情绪困扰可能会再次出现。

避免推动：
- 新手咨询师常常有冲动试图推动当事人做出决定和采取行动，但这往往会适得其反。
- 人们在被推动时往往会更加抵抗，因此咨询师应该使用不同的策略，帮助当事人自主做出选择。

格式塔意识圈的应用

意识的提升：
- 通过提高个体对自己内心体验、情感和思想的意识，可以帮助他们更清晰地看到自己的问题和选项。
- 综合咨询师通过积极倾听、帮助当事人接触情感和澄清思想，逐步提高他们的意识。

动员能量：
- 个体在意识提高后，会感到更有能量和动力去解决问题。
- 咨询师可以通过各种技巧帮助当事人动员能量，例如情感支持、认知重构等。

选择与行动：
- 个体在意识提高后，能够更清晰地看到自己的选项，并做出选择。
- 通过采取行动，个体可以逐渐摆脱困扰，进入满意或休息的状态。

循环过程：
- 生活中，个体不会一直停留在满意或休息的状态，而是会不断沿着意识圈移动。
- 这个循环过程帮助个体持续成长和改进，解决新的问题。

总结

通过使用综合咨询技巧，咨询师可以帮助当事人从困扰状态中走出来，进入一个更舒适的情绪空间。对于那些情绪困扰由不健康行为或生活状况引起的人，咨询师需要帮助他们提高意识，动员能量，做出选择并采取行动。格式塔意识圈提供了一个有用的框架，帮助咨询师理解和指导这个过程。通过提高意识，个体能够更清晰地看到自己的问题和选项，从而做出更明智的决定并采取行动。这个过程是一个循环，帮助个体不断成长和改进。

沿圈前进的障碍

不幸的是，大多数人不会自然且轻松地沿着意识圈移动，而是会卡住，如前所述。这是因为他们在前进的过程中受到内部情感和心理约束的阻碍。这些障碍通常发生在图26.2所示的选择或行动之前。如果一个人在这两个地方之一被阻塞，咨询师往往会集中精力鼓励他们做出选择或采取行动。这种咨询行为通常是无益的，因为它可能会施加压力，给当事人带来更大的困难。与其帮助当事人做出选择或采取行动，推动选择或行动通常会使他们进入更高程度的情绪唤醒状态（见图26.2中的箭头）。

处理障碍的前提

如果你想帮助一个人做出选择或采取行动，那么一个前提条件是帮助他们充分探索、理解和处理可能阻碍他们在圈上前进的任何障碍。图26.3中的简单两难模型识别了一些常见的阻碍选择和行动的障碍。一个做出决定并采取行动改变生活的人首先要应对自己的感受，然后应对他人的反应。这通常很困难，特别是如果这些决定或行动令他人不满。此外，如果一个人做一些新的事情，那么他们就承担了风险；可能会有未知的后果，这些后果可能是痛苦的。继续过着现在的生活，尽管有已知的痛苦，但不做改变，可能比冒险做一些新的、不同的事情并面对未知的痛苦更容易。考虑到这一点，很容易理解为什么一个人的选择和行动可能会被内部恐惧和焦虑所阻碍，包括以下几点：

无法处理自己的感受

无法应对他人的反应

担心后果

担心过去不良经历的重演

不适当的“应该”、“必须”和“应当”的干扰

担心会失去某种舒适或有益的事物

缺乏执行所需行动的技能

图26.2 推动选择或行动的影响

阶段	描述
能量动员	通过提高意识来动员能量，使个体能够积极解决问题。
障碍	内部情感和心理约束阻碍了个体的前进。
推动	咨询师推动个体做出选择或采取行动，可能会适得其反。
休息或满意	个体达到满意或休息的状态，问题得到解决。

图26.3

两难模型 EASY HARD 已知的痛苦 -----------------> 未知的痛苦他人的反应新行为可能的积极结果自己的感受现状两难 <保持现状--------- 1I ------------------做些不同的事>

处理障碍

每当一个人被阻塞，无法做出选择或采取行动时，抵制推动他们这样做的诱惑，而是返回到意识圈上的意识点。特别是要提高他们对障碍的意识，鼓励他们探索被阻塞和无法前进的感觉。鼓励他们意识到在无法决定或行动时的内部体验。问他们被阻塞时的感受，让他们表达相关的情感。然后探讨导致障碍的思绪。

目标：

帮助个人探索和处理阻碍他们做出决定和采取行动的因素。

他们是否害怕自己的感受（例如，如果他们做了自己想做的事，可能会感到内疚），或者他们是否害怕冒犯他人？

可能还有其他原因。

通过关注阻碍决策的因素，个人可能会发现他们有另一个更重要的问题需要面对。

记住：

你越是推动一个人做出选择或采取行动，他们就越可能被阻塞。

如果你希望帮助他们前进，最好的方法是提高他们对阻碍决策的因素的意识，让他们充分探索并处理这些障碍。

适合帮助个人探索障碍的问题：

请告诉我，当你思考这个决定[或采取这个行动]时，你在情感上有什么体验？

当你思考这个选择[或采取这个行动]时，你意识到自己内心发生了什么？

在体验那种情感时，你有哪些思绪？

总结：

作为咨询师，使用你学到的咨询技巧来提高个人对障碍的意识并帮助他们克服障碍，他们很可能会自发地沿着意识圈移动，做出选择并采取必要的行动以实现目标。

然而，对某些人来说，仅靠这种方法是不够的。有些人会停滞不前，无法做出决定，在这种情况下，告诉他们停滞是可以接受的，如前一章所述。

对其他人来说，需要帮助他们通过采取行动来实现目标。

进一步阐述知识点

沿圈前进的障碍

内部情感和心理约束

许多人在前进过程中会遇到内部情感和心理约束，这些约束会阻碍他们沿着意识圈自然移动。这些障碍通常出现在选择或行动之前，可能导致个体停滞不前。

推动的负面影响

咨询师如果试图推动个体做出选择或采取行动，可能会适得其反。过度推动会增加个体的压力，使他们进入更高程度的情绪唤醒状态，反而更难以做出决策或采取行动。

处理障碍的前提

探索和理解障碍

帮助个体充分探索和理解阻碍他们前进的障碍是关键。通过提高个体对障碍的意识，可以帮助他们更好地应对这些障碍。

常见障碍

无法处理自己的感受

无法应对他人的反应

担心后果

担心过去不良经历的重演

不适当的“应该”、“必须”和“应当”的干扰

担心会失去某种舒适或有益的事物

缺乏执行所需行动的技能

处理障碍的方法

提高意识

回到意识圈上的意识点：帮助个体提高对障碍的意识。

鼓励个体探索被阻塞和无法前进的感觉，表达相关的情感。

探讨思绪

探讨导致障碍的思绪：帮助个体理解自己的内在冲突。

通过提问，引导个体深入思考和表达自己的感受和想法。

目标

帮助个体探索和处理阻碍他们做出决定和采取行动的因素。

识别并解决潜在的内部恐惧和焦虑，帮助个体找到前进的动力。

适合的问题

请告诉我，当你思考这个决定[或采取这个行动]时，你在情感上有什么体验？

当你思考这个选择[或采取这个行动]时，你意识到自己内心发生了什么？

在体验那种情感时，你有哪些思绪？

总结

通过使用综合咨询技巧，咨询师可以帮助个体充分探索和理解阻碍他们前进的障碍。提高个体对障碍的意识，帮助他们克服内心的恐惧和焦虑，是促进行动的关键。通过适当的方法和技巧，个体更有可能自发地沿着意识圈移动，做出选择并采取必要的行动以实现目标。然而，对某些人来说，仅靠这种方法是不够的，需要更多的支持和帮助。

学习总结

沿圈前进的障碍
- 内部情感和心理约束：阻碍个体前进的内部情感和心理约束。
- 推动的负面影响：过度推动会增加个体的压力，反而更难以做出决策或采取行动。

处理障碍的前提
- 探索和理解障碍：帮助个体充分探索和理解阻碍他们前进的障碍。
- 常见障碍：
  - 无法处理自己的感受
  - 无法应对他人的反应
  - 担心后果
  - 担心过去不良经历的重演
  - 不适当的“应该”、“必须”和“应当”的干扰
  - 担心会失去某种舒适或有益的事物
  - 缺乏执行所需行动的技能

处理障碍的方法
- 提高意识：帮助个体提高对障碍的意识。
- 探讨思绪：帮助个体理解自己的内在冲突。
- 目标：帮助个体探索和处理阻碍他们做出决定和采取行动的因素。
- 适合的问题：引导个体深入思考和表达自己的感受和想法。

参考文献和进一步阅读

de Shazer, S. 1985, Keys to Solution in Brief Therapy, W.W. Norton & Company, New York.

O'Connell, B. 1998, Solution Focused Therapy: Helping People with Problems to Succeed, Allen & Unwin, St Leonards, NSW.

Berg, I.K. & Miller, S.D. 1992, Working with the Problem Drinker: A Solution-Focused Approach, Norton, New York.

进一步阐述知识点

需要额外帮助采取行动的人

反复利用咨询过程：
- 有些人会反复利用咨询过程，使他们在不满意的生活状况中继续存在而不改变。
- 这样的人可能会进一步陷入绝望和无助，需要特定的帮助来促进行动。

缺乏技能或信心：
- 有些人即使决定了他们想要做什么，也会发现自己无法向前采取行动，不是因为心理障碍，而是因为他们缺乏必要的技能或信心。
- 这些人可以从额外的帮助中受益，以增强他们的技能和信心。

行动计划

做好心理准备：
- 提高个人的意识，使他们能够克服障碍并做出决策。
- 通过心理咨询帮助个人准备好心理状态，为行动做好准备。

确定目标：
- 明确具体的目标是促进行动的关键。
- 对于有些人来说，确定目标就足以促进行动，但对于另一些人来说，需要进一步的帮助。

确定实现目标的第一步：
- 第一步需要切实可行，以便个人更可能因成功而受到激励，而不是因失败而气馁。
- 咨询师可以通过提问帮助个人具体化第一步，例如“你打算如何着手改善与儿子的关系？”

具体化实现目标的第一步：
- 将第一步具体化，使其明确具体而不是模糊不清。
- 通过具体化，个人可以更清楚地了解他们需要做什么，从而更容易采取行动。

决定如何执行第一步：
- 咨询师可以帮助个人制定具体的行动计划，确保他们知道如何执行第一步。

获取执行第一步所需的技能：
- 个人可能需要学习新的技能或提高现有技能，以执行第一步。
- 咨询师可以提供资源和支持，帮助个人获取必要的技能。

决定何时执行第一步：
- 选择合适的时机执行第一步，以提高成功的可能性。

执行第一步：
- 个人实际执行第一步，迈出改变的第一步。

为自己执行第一步而奖励自己：
- 通过奖励自己，增强个人的成就感和自信心。

重新评估整体目标：
- 在执行第一步后，重新评估整体目标，根据实际情况调整计划。

总结

通过使用行动计划中的步骤，咨询师可以帮助那些没有必要自信或个人资源来制定和实施行动计划的人。这些步骤不仅有助于个人克服障碍，还能帮助他们建立信心和技能，从而在未来能够独立地制定和实施行动计划。通过具体化和逐步推进，个人更有可能实现他们的目标，带来有意义的生活变化。

进一步阐述知识点

决定如何执行第一步

考虑可能后果

在决定如何执行第一步时，需要考虑提议行动的可能后果。例如，如果一个人打算告诉儿子为什么对他生气，这可能会导致进一步的疏远而不是和解。

角色扮演

咨询师可以通过角色扮演帮助个人体验作为预期信息接收者的感受。角色扮演可以帮助个人更好地理解对方的反应，从而调整自己的行为。

获取执行第一步所需的技能

新技能

个人可能需要获取新技能才能有效执行第一步。例如，使用“I”语句（即以“我”开头的陈述）可以帮助个人更好地表达自己的感受，而不是指责对方。

进一步的角色扮演

咨询师可以通过进一步的角色扮演帮助个人确定他们打算对儿子说的话可能产生的影响。这有助于个人在实际执行第一步时更加自信和准备充分。

决定何时执行第一步

时间选择

有时，人们会以时间不合适为借口推迟不愉快的任务。明确的时间决策可以帮助个人更容易地执行计划。

避免拖延

拖延行动往往会导致没有行动。与寻求帮助的人探讨时间问题，可以帮助他们克服拖延，采取行动。

执行第一步

行动的重要性

无论个人是否执行了第一步，这都不重要。执行了第一步，可以感到高兴；没有执行，也可以从过程中学习。

自我反思

个人可以再次接触他们的内在体验，发现是什么阻止了他们执行第一步。从这种意识中可以做出新的决定，继续前进。

为自己执行第一步而奖励自己

认可成就

许多人在成功完成困难任务时未能给自己积极的信息。咨询师可以鼓励个人通过正面概述他们的成就来对自己感觉良好。

增强动力

适当奖励自己可以增强个人的成就感和自信心。这有助于个人继续做出积极的决策并付诸实施。

重新评估整体目标

目标的变化

当一个人在某个方向上走了一段路之后，可能会意识到最初设定的目标已经不再被需要。重新评估整体目标是必要的，以确保个人的方向正确。

灵活性

重新评估目标可以帮助个人保持灵活性，适应新的情况和需求。

总结

通过使用上述步骤，咨询师可以帮助个人克服障碍，采取适当的行动，以带来有意义的生活变化。这些步骤不仅有助于个人克服心理障碍，还能帮助他们建立必要的技能和信心，从而在未来能够独立地制定和实施行动计划。通过具体化和逐步推进，个人更有可能实现他们的目标，带来积极的生活变化。

学习总结

决定如何执行第一步
- 考虑可能后果：考虑提议行动的可能后果。
- 角色扮演：通过角色扮演帮助个人体验作为预期信息接收者的感受。
- 获取执行第一步所需的技能：
  - 新技能：个人可能需要获取新技能。
  - 进一步的角色扮演：帮助个人确定可能产生的影响。

决定何时执行第一步
- 时间选择：明确的时间决策可以帮助个人更容易地执行计划。
- 避免拖延：与寻求帮助的人探讨时间问题，帮助他们克服拖延。

执行第一步
- 行动的重要性：无论是否执行了第一步，都可以从中学习。
- 自我反思：个人可以再次接触内在体验，发现阻碍因素。

为自己执行第一步而奖励自己
- 认可成就：通过正面概述成就来对自己感觉良好。
- 增强动力：适当奖励自己可以增强成就感和自信心。

重新评估整体目标
- 目标的变化：重新评估目标以确保方向正确。
- 灵活性：保持灵活性，适应新的情况和需求。

参考文献和进一步阅读

de Shazer, S. 1985, Keys to Solution in Brief Therapy, W.W. Norton & Company, New York.

O'Connell, B. 1998, Solution Focused Therapy: Helping People with Problems to Succeed, Allen & Unwin, St Leonards, NSW.

Berg, I.K. & Miller, S.D. 1992, Working with the Problem Drinker: A Solution-Focused Approach, Norton, New York.

26 Facilitating action By using the counselling skills described in the previous chapters* a person can be helped to move out of their troubled state and into a more comfortable emotional space. If that is achieved, they have clearly been helped by the counselling process in the short term, and for some people that is sufficient. However, for others, their emotional distress is a consequence of either unhelpful behaviours or entrenched life situations. For them, unless action is taken to help them make choices and to take action to change their unhelpful behaviours or life situations, emotional distress may well recur.

As we explained in the previous chapter, sometimes a person will feel stuck and unable to make a decision or move forward into taking action. It is as though they are blocked from moving forward by their thoughts and emotions. When this happens there is a temptation, particularly for new counsellors, to try to encourage, persuade or in some other way push the person into making a decision and into putting that into action.

Have you ever experienced resistance from someone when you have tided to persuade them to do something different from what they have been doing? We human beings are rather like the proverbial donkey. I he more someone pushes or pulls us, the more we tend to resist! Consequently, if we are to enable a person who seeks our help to make choices and to follow through by taking action to change, then we must resist the temptation to try to push them into making decisions and taking action, and instead use a different strategy'.

As integrative counsellors we believe that we can learn from one particular aspect of Gestalt Therapy theory when we are trying to help people to overcome blocks which are preventing them from changing their behaviours or situation. The relevant theory regarding how to deal with such blocks or resistance was admirably described by Zinker (1978) and more recently by Clarkson and Cavicchia (2014). Zinker illustrated the change that occurs in counselling through the use of an awareness circle.

THE GESTALT AWARENESS CIRCLE Before discussing the awareness circle we would like to remind readers that as integrative counsellors we believe that the process of change in counselling generally occurs as described in Chapter 16 and illustrated in Figure 16.1 on page 135. In this process we tend to firstly emphasise emotions, then thoughts and then behaviours. Gestalt therapists work differently, as they address somatic experiences, emotional feelings and thoughts simultaneously, because they place a strong emphasis on the interconnectedness of these. They work by raising awareness of a person’s bodily experiences, feelings and thoughts as they connect with each other. As integrative therapists we also raise awareness of feelings and thoughts, but we do this sequentially through the use of the various counselling skills described earlier in this book. Unlike Gestalt therapists, we tend to address emotions prior to using strategies that are more directly targeted at influencing thinking. Even so, the concept of awareness is an extremely useful one.

Now that we have identified the differences between the way a Gestalt therapist and an integrative counsellor work, let’s have a look at the Gestalt awareness circle. 1 his circle describes the way that raising a person’s awareness can enable them to clarify their problems, explore options, and make decisions about the future. A modified version of Zinker’s Gestalt awareness circle is shown in Figure 26.1. As shown, people generally come for counselling when they are emotionally distressed. That is when they are at the arousal point on the awareness circle, with their emotions unpleasantly aroused. The counsellor s task is to enable them to move around the circle towards satisfaction or rest. This is achieved by raising their awareness of their whole situation as it is. As integrative counsellors, what we do is actively" listen while the person tells their story", enable them to get in touch with their emotions and then enable them to clarify their thoughts. By doing this, we raise their awareness of their internal experience and their perceptions of their situation. We will now discuss the awareness circle in some detail, starting at the point of arousal.

THE AROUSAL STAGE In the arousal phase, the emotionally disturbed person is unable to focus clearly, and sees a confused picture of their world. It is as though they are looking at an overgrown forest, choked by too many trees and much undergrowth. They are unable to see any one tree clearly, but instead are overwhelmed by a blurred and confusing picture. In this state, their energy is depleted. 1 hey will be unable to see their options, and will therefore have little hope of taking any action to change their situation.

Figure 26.1 Gestalt awareness circle Mobilisation of energy AWARENESS Choice Action Arousal Rest or satisfaction

RAISING AWARENESS TO MOBILISE ENERGY If the person is to feel better, they need to mobilise their energy so that they can work constructively to resolve their issues. The counsellor can facilitate this mobilisation of energy by raising their awareness of their inner experiences. As a trainee counsellor, if you have mastered the skills described in the previous chapters, then you have the tools required to do this. By using these counselling skills you will inevitably raise the person’s awareness of their emotional feelings and thoughts regarding their situation as it is, and consequently they will become more energised in seeking change.

MOVING AROUND THE AWARENESS CIRCLE Sometimes, once awareness is raised, a person will move with ease around the awareness circle. To use the previous analogy, the overgrown forest of trees will become a background against which the clear outline of one tree will emerge. 1 he person’s confusion will disappear and they will move naturally around the circle into making a choice, taking action and coming into a state of satisfaction or rest. In life, we do not stay in a state of rest, and if we did we would probably achieve nothing. What we do is move around the awareness circle again and again.

BLOCKS TO PROGRESS AROUND THE CIRCLE Unfortunately, most people don’t move naturally and easily around the awareness circle but instead get stuck, as discussed previously. This occurs because they are blocked in the process of moving forward by internal emotional and psychological constraints. Such blocks often occur, as shown on the circle in Figure 26.2, before choice or action. If a person is blocked in either of these places, it is tempting for the counsellor to focus on encouraging them to make a choice or to take action. Such counsellor behaviour is usually very unhelpful, as it is likely to be pressuring, creating greater difficulties for the person. Instead of achieving the counsellor’s goal of helping the person to make a choice or to take action, pushing for choice or action usually returns them to an even higher state of emotional arousal (see the arrows in Figure 26.2).

If you want to help a person to make a choice or to take action, then a prerequisite is to enable them to fully explore, understand and deal with any block which might be impeding progress around the circle. Some common blocks that inhibit choice and action are identified in the simple dilemma model in Figure 26.3. A person who makes decisions and takes action to change their life has to cope firstly with their own feelings and then with other people’s reactions. This is often difficult, particularly if the decisions or actions displease others. Also, if a person does something new, then they take a risk; there may be unknown consequences, and these could be painful. It may be easier to go on living as now, with no changes and with known pain, rather than to take a risk and do something new and different with its unknown pain. Considering this, it is easy to understand how a person’s choices and actions may be blocked by internal fears and anxieties, including the following: inability to deal with own feelings inability to cope with the reactions of others fear of consequences fear of a repetition of past bad experiences the intrusion of inappropriate ‘should s’, ‘musts’ and 'oughts’ fear that something comfortable or rewarding will be lost lack of skills to cany out the desired action.

Figure 26.2 The effect of pushing for choice or action Mobilisation of energy Block PUSH Rest or satisfaction choices and actions may be blocked by internal fears and anxieties, including the following: inability to deal with own feelings inability to cope with the reactions of others fear of consequences fear of a repetition of past bad experiences the intrusion of inappropriate ‘should s’, ‘musts’ and 'oughts’ fear that something comfortable or rewarding will be lost lack of skills to cany out the desired action.

» Figure 26.3 Dilemma model EASYHARD known pain--------------- > unknown pain other people's reactions NEW BEHAVIOUR possible positive outcome own feelings AS NOW DILEMMA <DO--------- AS NOW 1I------------------ DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT >

DEALING WITH BLOCKS Whenever a person is blocked and unable to make a choice or take action, resist the temptation to push them into doing so, and instead return to the awareness point on the circle. In particular, raise their awareness of their block and encourage them to explore how it feels to be blocked and unable to move forward. Encourage them to become aware of what they are experiencing internally when they experience their inability to decide or act. Ask them how it feels to be blocked and allow them to express the relevant emotions. Then explore their thoughts that contribute to the block.

1 he eoal is to enable the person to explore and deal with what is blocking them from making a decision and taking action: are they afraid of their own feelings (for example, they might feel guilty if they did what they wanted), or are they afraid of offending others? I here may be other reasons. Also, it is possible that, by focusing on what is blocking the decision, the person may discover that they have another more important issue that needs confronting.

Remember, the more you push a person to make a choice or to take action, the more blocked they are likely to become. If you want to help them to move on, the best way of achieving this is to raise their awareness of, and focus on, whatever is blocking their decision-making so that they can fully explore this block and deal with it. Suitable questions to help a person explore the block are as follows: . 4 4 B K B. 4 4 K B. 4 4 I B B. 4 4 B. B. 4 4 A B. B. 4 4 fa B.44BB. B. 4 4 B. B. 4 Tell me what you are experiencing emotionally as you think about making this decision [or taking this action]. What are you aware of happening inside you when you think about making this choice [or taking this action]? As you experience that emotion, what thoughts do you have? If you, the counsellor, use the counselling skills you have learnt to raise a person’s awareness of and work through their block, they are likely to move spontaneously around the awareness circle, to make choices and to take the necessary action to achieve goals. However, for some people this approach alone is not sufficient. Some people will stay stuck and unable to make a decision, in which case let them know that it is OK to be stuck, as explained in the previous chapter. For others, help is required to enable them to follow through by taking action.

THOSE WHO NEED ADDITIONAL HELP TO TAKE ACTION Some people will repeatedly use the counselling process to enable them to continue to exist in unsatisfactory life situations without change. Sometimes in the counselling process it appears as though they are replaying the same tape over and over again. When they do this they may well sink further into despair and hopelessness. Such people may need specific help in facilitating action, if they are to bring about meaningful changes to their lives. Also, there are some people who, after deciding what they want to do, find themselves unable to move forward into action, not because of psychological blocks but rather because they do not have the necessary skills or confidence to carry out the action they wish to take. These people may benefit from additional help. The rest of this chapter deals with ways of helping people who do not have the necessary confidence or personal resources to make and implement action plans oil their own. Clearly, it is not helpful for a counsellor to take over a person’s responsibility for taking action. By doing that, the counsellor would reinforce the person’s sense of helplessness, and lead them to believe that they needed assistance each time new goals were to be aimed for. What is helpful is for the person to learn how to organise, plan and execute decisions so that in the future they are able to do these things for themselves. A good way of helping a person learn is to travel along with them, and to work with them as they struggle with the issues involved in achieving one important goal. 1 hen, it you wish, you can explore with them the processes used in achieving their goal. The person may then identify those processes that were most useful to them so that they can use them in achieving future goals. Although every situation is different, there are some basic steps that can be useful in enabling people to take action to achieve goals, t hese steps are listed in the following action plan.

ACTION PLAN 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Make psychological preparation. identify the goal. Identify the first step towards goal achievement. Concretise the first step towards goal achievement. Decide how to carry out the first step. Acquire the skills to carry out the first step. Decide when to carry out the first step. Carry out the first step. Reward self for carrying out the first step. Reassess the overall goal. We will now look in detail at these steps in the order presented above. To make the exercise more meaningful, we are going to consider the specific example of a father who has a dysfunctional relationship with his teenage son. PSYCHOLOGICAL PREPARATION This has been dealt with earlier in this chapter. T he counsellor raises the person’s awareness, to enable them to work through blocks and come to a decision.

IDENTIFYING THE GOAL Imagine that the father in our example has come to the decision that he wants to work on improving his relationship with his son. For many people, identifying such a goal would be sufficient to facilitate action, and the counsellor’s work would be over. For others, further help is needed. IDENTIFYING THE FIRST STEP TOWARDS GOAL ACHIEVEMENT For some people, the goal of trying to improve a relationship with a son would be too broad and non-specific. It might not be clear how the goal could be achieved and consequently positive action would be unlikely to occur. Such 7................................. a person may need to identify the first step towards achieving the goal. This first step needs to be realistically achievable, so that the person is likely to be rewarded by success rather than discouraged by failure.

1 he counsellor might ask, ‘How are you going to set about improving your relationship with your son?’ Maybe the father would respond, ‘Well, I’d like to start by having a talk with him, but that’s scary, because we haven’t said anything pleasant to each other for some months? Clearly at this point the counsellor would move the focus away from the contemplated action and return to raising awareness of the person’s fear of talking with his son. If this were not done then the person might be blocked from action.

CONCRETISING THE FIRST STEP TOWARDS GOAL ACHIEVEMENT Once the first step in goal achievement has been identified, it needs to be concretised, so that it is clear and specific rather than vague. For example, the statement Td like to have a talk with my son’ is very general. The value of such a talk is likely to depend on what the purpose of the talk is, and what the content of the conversation is likely to be. Questions by the counsellor such as ‘What do you want to say to your son?’ and ‘What do you hope to achieve as a result of this talk?’ might yield more specific information, such as '1 want to tell him why I am so angry with him, so that I can get that garbage out of the way and start relating to him in a positive way’.

DECIDING HOW TO CARRY OUT THE FIRST STEP This decision needs to take into account the likely consequences of the proposed action. For example, the statement in the paragraph above, ‘I want to tell him why I am so angry with him ...’, suggests that the person intends to confront his son in a way likely to lead to further alienation rather than reconciliation. At this point the counsellor could usefully carry out some role-plays to allow the person to experience what it would be like to be the recipient of the intended message.

ACQUIRING THE SKILLS TO CARRY OUT THE FIRST STEP l he person may need to acquire new skills to be able to competently carry out the first step. In our current example the counsellor might coach the person in the use of T statements, and cany out further role-plays to determine the likely impact of what the person intends to say to his son.

DECIDING WHEN TO CARRY OUT THE FIRST STEP Sometimes when people have to cany out unpleasant tasks they will delay doing what they have decided to do by using the excuse that the time is not right. Do you do that? We think that most people do, and delayed action often results in no action. We find that for us it is usually easier to cany out what we plan if we have made a clear decision about the proposed timing. We think that it’s the same for many people, and it’s therefore useful to explore the issue of timing with the person seeking help. 1 his may result in more awareness raising - time to get back to the awareness circle again!

CARRYING OUT THE FIRST STEP Whether or not a person carries out the first step is unimportant. If they do, they can feel good about that; if they don’t, there will be some learning from the process. The person can once again get in touch with their inner experiences to discover what stopped them from carrying out the first step, and from that awareness a new decision can be made.

REWARDING THE SELF FOR CARRYING OUT THE FIRST STEP Do you ever minimise your achievements? We sometimes do, but we are getting better at taking pride in what we do well. We have noticed that many people fail to give themselves positive messages when they succeed in performing difficult tasks. We suggest that when you are counselling you might like to encourage those who seek your help to feel good about themselves by positively outlining their achievements. A person who is properly rewarded for carrying out the first step is more likely to continue making positive decisions and carrying them out.

REASSESSING THE OVERALL GOAL Often when a person has gone some way in one direction, they will realise that the goal originally targeted is one that is no longer desired. That is clearly OK, but the person will consequently need to reassess their overall goal.

IN CONCLUSION In this chapter we have discussed the skills involved in facilitating action. Generally, if you use the previously learnt counselling skills and remember what you have discovered here about the awareness circle, you are likely to be successful in helping the person to take appropriate action to bring about meaningful changes in their life. Additionally, the action plan described above can be used when it is clear that a person is unable to move forward without more specific help.

Learning summary Pushing directly for choice or action is Likely to fail and increase emotional distress. To maximise the possibility of choice or action, raise awareness of blocks. A major dilemma when contemplating change concerns the choice between 'to do as now' or 'to do something different'. Doing as now involves known pain. Doing something different involves unknown pain and outcomes. It's risky! Action plans can be helpful for some people. Action plans involve preparation for action, setting a specific goal, and having a reward for taking the first step.

References and further reading Clarkson, P. & Ca vicchia, S. 2014, Gestalt Counselling in Action, 4th edit, SAGE, London. Ivey, A.E., Ivey, M.B. & Zalaquett, C.P. 2015, Influencing client actions and decisions, in A.E, Ivey, Zmkcr, J. 1978* Greatiuc Process in Gestalt Therapy, Vintage, New York.