26. 促进行动

本章知识点阐述

26 Facilitating action By using the counselling skills described in the previous chapters* a person can be helped to move out of their troubled state and into a more comfortable emotional space. If that is achieved, they have clearly been helped by the counselling process in the short term, and for some people that is sufficient. However, for others, their emotional distress is a consequence of either unhelpful behaviours or entrenched life situations. For them, unless action is taken to help them make choices and to take action to change their unhelpful behaviours or life situations, emotional distress may well recur. As we explained in the previous chapter, sometimes a person will feel stuck and unable to make a decision or move forward into taking action. It is as though they are blocked from moving forward by their thoughts and emotions. When this happens there is a temptation, particularly for new counsellors, to try to encourage, persuade or in some other way push the person into making a decision and into putting that into action. Have you ever experienced resistance from someone when you have tided to persuade them to do something different from what they have been doing? We human beings are rather like the proverbial donkey. I he more someone pushes or pulls us, the more we tend to resist! Consequently, if we are to enable a person who seeks our help to make choices and to follow through by taking action to change, then we must resist the temptation to try to push them into making decisions and taking action, and instead use a different strategy'. As integrative counsellors we believe that we can learn from one particular aspect of Gestalt Therapy theory when we are trying to help people to overcome blocks which are preventing them from changing their behaviours or situation. The relevant theory regarding how to deal with such blocks or resistance was admirably described by Zinker (1978) and more recently by Clarkson and Cavicchia (2014). Zinker illustrated the change that occurs in counselling through the use of an awareness circle. THE GESTALT AWARENESS CIRCLE Before discussing the awareness circle we would like to remind readers that as integrative counsellors we believe that the process of change in counselling generally occurs as described in Chapter 16 and illustrated in Figure 16.1 on page 135. In this process we tend to firstly emphasise emotions, then thoughts and then behaviours. Gestalt therapists work differently, as they address somatic experiences, emotional feelings and thoughts simultaneously, because they place a strong emphasis on the interconnectedness of these. They work by raising awareness of a person’s bodily experiences, feelings and thoughts as they connect with each other. As integrative therapists we also raise awareness of feelings and thoughts, but we do this sequentially through the use of the various counselling skills described earlier in this book. Unlike Gestalt therapists, we tend to address emotions prior to using strategies that are more directly targeted at influencing thinking. Even so, the concept of awareness is an extremely useful one. Now that we have identified the differences between the way a Gestalt therapist and an integrative counsellor work, let’s have a look at the Gestalt awareness circle. 1 his circle describes the way that raising a person’s awareness can enable them to clarify their problems, explore options, and make decisions about the future. A modified version of Zinker’s Gestalt awareness circle is shown in Figure 26.1. As shown, people generally come for counselling when they are emotionally distressed. That is when they are at the arousal point on the awareness circle, with their emotions unpleasantly aroused. The counsellor s task is to enable them to move around the circle towards satisfaction or rest. This is achieved by raising their awareness of their whole situation as it is. As integrative counsellors, what we do is actively" listen while the person tells their story", enable them to get in touch with their emotions and then enable them to clarify their thoughts. By doing this, we raise their awareness of their internal experience and their perceptions of their situation. We will now discuss the awareness circle in some detail, starting at the point of arousal. THE AROUSAL STAGE In the arousal phase, the emotionally disturbed person is unable to focus clearly, and sees a confused picture of their world. It is as though they are looking at an overgrown forest, choked by too many trees and much undergrowth. They are unable to see any one tree clearly, but instead are overwhelmed by a blurred and confusing picture. In this state, their energy is depleted. 1 hey will be unable to see their options, and will therefore have little hope of taking any action to change their situation. Figure 26.1 Gestalt awareness circle Mobilisation of energy AWARENESS Choice Action Arousal Rest or satisfaction

RAISING AWARENESS TO MOBILISE ENERGY If the person is to feel better, they need to mobilise their energy so that they can work constructively to resolve their issues. The counsellor can facilitate this mobilisation of energy by raising their awareness of their inner experiences. As a trainee counsellor, if you have mastered the skills described in the previous chapters, then you have the tools required to do this. By using these counselling skills you will inevitably raise the person’s awareness of their emotional feelings and thoughts regarding their situation as it is, and consequently they will become more energised in seeking change. MOVING AROUND THE AWARENESS CIRCLE Sometimes, once awareness is raised, a person will move with ease around the awareness circle. To use the previous analogy, the overgrown forest of trees will become a background against which the clear outline of one tree will emerge. 1 he person’s confusion will disappear and they will move naturally around the circle into making a choice, taking action and coming into a state of satisfaction or rest. In life, we do not stay in a state of rest, and if we did we would probably achieve nothing. What we do is move around the awareness circle again and again. BLOCKS TO PROGRESS AROUND THE CIRCLE Unfortunately, most people don’t move naturally and easily around the awareness circle but instead get stuck, as discussed previously. This occurs because they are blocked in the process of moving forward by internal emotional and psychological constraints. Such blocks often occur, as shown on the circle in Figure 26.2, before choice or action. If a person is blocked in either of these places, it is tempting for the counsellor to focus on encouraging them to make a choice or to take action. Such counsellor behaviour is usually very unhelpful, as it is likely to be pressuring, creating greater difficulties for the person. Instead of achieving the counsellor’s goal of helping the person to make a choice or to take action, pushing for choice or action usually returns them to an even higher state of emotional arousal (see the arrows in Figure 26.2). If you want to help a person to make a choice or to take action, then a prerequisite is to enable them to fully explore, understand and deal with any block which might be impeding progress around the circle. Some common blocks that inhibit choice and action are identified in the simple dilemma model in Figure 26.3. A person who makes decisions and takes action to change their life has to cope firstly with their own feelings and then with other people’s reactions. This is often difficult, particularly if the decisions or actions displease others. Also, if a person does something new, then they take a risk; there may be unknown consequences, and these could be painful. It may be easier to go on living as now, with no changes and with known pain, rather than to take a risk and do something new and different with its unknown pain. Considering this, it is easy to understand how a person’s

Figure 26.2 The effect of pushing for choice or action Mobilisation of energy Block PUSH Rest or satisfaction choices and actions may be blocked by internal fears and anxieties, including the following: inability to deal with own feelings inability to cope with the reactions of others fear of consequences fear of a repetition of past bad experiences the intrusion of inappropriate ‘should s’, ‘musts’ and 'oughts’ fear that something comfortable or rewarding will be lost lack of skills to cany out the desired action.

» Figure 26.3 Dilemma model EASYHARD known pain--------------- > unknown pain other people's reactions NEW BEHAVIOUR possible positive outcome own feelings AS NOW DILEMMA <DO--------- AS NOW 1I------------------ DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT >

DEALING WITH BLOCKS Whenever a person is blocked and unable to make a choice or take action, resist the temptation to push them into doing so, and instead return to the awareness point on the circle. In particular, raise their awareness of their block and encourage them to explore how it feels to be blocked and unable to move forward. Encourage them to become aware of what they are experiencing internally when they experience their inability to decide or act. Ask them how it feels to be blocked and allow them to express the relevant emotions. Then explore their thoughts that contribute to the block. 1 he eoal is to enable the person to explore and deal with what is blocking them from making a decision and taking action: are they afraid of their own feelings (for example, they might feel guilty if they did what they wanted), or are they afraid of offending others? I here may be other reasons. Also, it is possible that, by focusing on what is blocking the decision, the person may discover that they have another more important issue that needs confronting. Remember, the more you push a person to make a choice or to take action, the more blocked they are likely to become. If you want to help them to move on, the best way of achieving this is to raise their awareness of, and focus on, whatever is blocking their decision-making so that they can fully explore this block and deal with it. Suitable questions to help a person explore the block are as follows: . 4 4 B K B. 4 4 K B. 4 4 I B B. 4 4 B. B. 4 4 A B. B. 4 4 fa B.44BB. B. 4 4 B. B. 4 Tell me what you are experiencing emotionally as you think about making this decision [or taking this action]. What are you aware of happening inside you when you think about making this choice [or taking this action]? As you experience that emotion, what thoughts do you have? If you, the counsellor, use the counselling skills you have learnt to raise a person’s awareness of and work through their block, they are likely to move spontaneously around the awareness circle, to make choices and to take the necessary action to achieve goals. However, for some people this approach alone is not sufficient. Some people will stay stuck and unable to make a decision, in which case let them know that it is OK to be stuck, as explained in the previous chapter. For others, help is required to enable them to follow through by taking action. THOSE WHO NEED ADDITIONAL HELP TO TAKE ACTION Some people will repeatedly use the counselling process to enable them to continue to exist in unsatisfactory life situations without change. Sometimes in the counselling process it appears as though they are replaying the same tape over and over again. When they do this they may well sink further into despair and hopelessness. Such people may need specific help in facilitating action, if they are to bring about meaningful changes to their lives. Also, there are some people who, after deciding what they want to do, find themselves unable to move forward into action, not because of psychological blocks but rather because they do not have the necessary skills or confidence to carry out the action they wish to take. These people may benefit from additional help. The rest of this chapter deals with ways of helping people who do not have the necessary confidence or personal resources to make and implement action plans oil their own. Clearly, it is not helpful for a counsellor to take over a person’s responsibility for taking action. By doing that, the counsellor would reinforce the person’s sense of helplessness, and lead them to believe that they needed assistance each time new goals were to be aimed for. What is helpful is for the person to learn how to organise, plan and execute decisions so that in the future they are able to do these things for themselves. A good way of helping a person learn is to travel along with them, and to work with them as they struggle with the issues involved in achieving one important goal. 1 hen, it you wish, you can explore with them the processes used in achieving their goal. The person may then identify those processes that were most useful to them so that they can use them in achieving future goals. Although every situation is different, there are some basic steps that can be useful in enabling people to take action to achieve goals, t hese steps are listed in the following action plan. ACTION PLAN 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Make psychological preparation. identify the goal. Identify the first step towards goal achievement. Concretise the first step towards goal achievement. Decide how to carry out the first step. Acquire the skills to carry out the first step. Decide when to carry out the first step. Carry out the first step. Reward self for carrying out the first step. Reassess the overall goal. We will now look in detail at these steps in the order presented above. To make the exercise more meaningful, we are going to consider the specific example of a father who has a dysfunctional relationship with his teenage son. PSYCHOLOGICAL PREPARATION This has been dealt with earlier in this chapter. T he counsellor raises the person’s awareness, to enable them to work through blocks and come to a decision.

IDENTIFYING THE GOAL Imagine that the father in our example has come to the decision that he wants to work on improving his relationship with his son. For many people, identifying such a goal would be sufficient to facilitate action, and the counsellor’s work would be over. For others, further help is needed. IDENTIFYING THE FIRST STEP TOWARDS GOAL ACHIEVEMENT For some people, the goal of trying to improve a relationship with a son would be too broad and non-specific. It might not be clear how the goal could be achieved and consequently positive action would be unlikely to occur. Such 7................................. a person may need to identify the first step towards achieving the goal. This first step needs to be realistically achievable, so that the person is likely to be rewarded by success rather than discouraged by failure. 1 he counsellor might ask, ‘How are you going to set about improving your relationship with your son?’ Maybe the father would respond, ‘Well, I’d like to start by having a talk with him, but that’s scary, because we haven’t said anything pleasant to each other for some months? Clearly at this point the counsellor would move the focus away from the contemplated action and return to raising awareness of the person’s fear of talking with his son. If this were not done then the person might be blocked from action. CONCRETISING THE FIRST STEP TOWARDS GOAL ACHIEVEMENT Once the first step in goal achievement has been identified, it needs to be concretised, so that it is clear and specific rather than vague. For example, the statement Td like to have a talk with my son’ is very general. The value of such a talk is likely to depend on what the purpose of the talk is, and what the content of the conversation is likely to be. Questions by the counsellor such as ‘What do you want to say to your son?’ and ‘What do you hope to achieve as a result of this talk?’ might yield more specific information, such as '1 want to tell him why I am so angry with him, so that I can get that garbage out of the way and start relating to him in a positive way’. DECIDING HOW TO CARRY OUT THE FIRST STEP This decision needs to take into account the likely consequences of the proposed action. For example, the statement in the paragraph above, ‘I want to tell him why I am so angry with him ...’, suggests that the person intends to confront his son in a way likely to lead to further alienation rather than reconciliation. At this point the counsellor could usefully carry out some role-plays to allow the person to experience what it would be like to be the recipient of the intended message.

ACQUIRING THE SKILLS TO CARRY OUT THE FIRST STEP l he person may need to acquire new skills to be able to competently carry out the first step. In our current example the counsellor might coach the person in the use of T statements, and cany out further role-plays to determine the likely impact of what the person intends to say to his son. DECIDING WHEN TO CARRY OUT THE FIRST STEP Sometimes when people have to cany out unpleasant tasks they will delay doing what they have decided to do by using the excuse that the time is not right. Do you do that? We think that most people do, and delayed action often results in no action. We find that for us it is usually easier to cany out what we plan if we have made a clear decision about the proposed timing. We think that it’s the same for many people, and it’s therefore useful to explore the issue of timing with the person seeking help. 1 his may result in more awareness raising - time to get back to the awareness circle again! CARRYING OUT THE FIRST STEP Whether or not a person carries out the first step is unimportant. If they do, they can feel good about that; if they don’t, there will be some learning from the process. The person can once again get in touch with their inner experiences to discover what stopped them from carrying out the first step, and from that awareness a new decision can be made. REWARDING THE SELF FOR CARRYING OUT THE FIRST STEP Do you ever minimise your achievements? We sometimes do, but we are getting better at taking pride in what we do well. We have noticed that many people fail to give themselves positive messages when they succeed in performing difficult tasks. We suggest that when you are counselling you might like to encourage those who seek your help to feel good about themselves by positively outlining their achievements. A person who is properly rewarded for carrying out the first step is more likely to continue making positive decisions and carrying them out. REASSESSING THE OVERALL GOAL Often when a person has gone some way in one direction, they will realise that the goal originally targeted is one that is no longer desired. That is clearly OK, but the person will consequently need to reassess their overall goal. IN CONCLUSION In this chapter we have discussed the skills involved in facilitating action. Generally, if you use the previously learnt counselling skills and remember what you have discovered here about the awareness circle, you are likely to be successful in helping the person to take appropriate action to bring about meaningful changes in their life. Additionally, the action plan described above can be used when it is clear that a person is unable to move forward without more specific help. Learning summary Pushing directly for choice or action is Likely to fail and increase emotional distress. To maximise the possibility of choice or action, raise awareness of blocks. A major dilemma when contemplating change concerns the choice between 'to do as now' or 'to do something different'. Doing as now involves known pain. Doing something different involves unknown pain and outcomes. It's risky! Action plans can be helpful for some people. Action plans involve preparation for action, setting a specific goal, and having a reward for taking the first step. References and further reading Clarkson, P. & Ca vicchia, S. 2014, Gestalt Counselling in Action, 4th edit, SAGE, London. Ivey, A.E., Ivey, M.B. & Zalaquett, C.P. 2015, Influencing client actions and decisions, in A.E, Ivey, Zmkcr, J. 1978* Greatiuc Process in Gestalt Therapy, Vintage, New York.