23. 探索两极

探索对立面

当我们说人类个性极其复杂时，我们是在陈述显而易见的事实，因为确实如此。尽管它非常复杂，但用易于理解的模型来描述人类个性有助于我们概念化人类行为的各个方面。我们使用的任何模型肯定会过于简化，但即便如此，模型仍有助于我们更全面地了解自己以及寻求我们帮助的人。在本章中，我们将考虑两个特别有价值的模型，这些模型有助于我们理解人类个性中不同部分的存在，以及通过咨询提高人们对自身对立面的认识。这些模型也可以非常有用，如果我们向寻求帮助的人解释这些模型，并以一种能够帮助他们改变和感觉更舒适的方式使用它们。这两个模型是：

1. 冰山模型
2. 对立模型

冰山模型

一个很好的隐喻来说明人类个性中的对立面是冰山，如图23.1所示。冰山漂浮时，大部分都在水面以下，无法看见。人类也有些类似。当你了解一个人时，你会看到他们个性的一部分。你会看到那些处于水面上的部分。还有其他部分也是那个人的个性，但你看不到这些部分，因为它们潜藏在水面以下。甚至当事人自己也不太可能完全意识到所有这些潜藏的部分。冰山有时会翻滚，当它翻滚时，之前潜藏的部分就会露出来。有时，隐藏的部分会意外地出现在人们面前，就像冰山翻滚时露出的部分一样。有时候是其他人对所看到的东西感到惊讶，有时是当事人自己感到惊讶。

人类情感中最常谈论的对立面是爱和恨。你有多少次听到有人谈论爱恨关系？你可能从自己的经验中意识到，爱恨关系确实存在。如果我们有强烈的爱的能力，那么很可能我们也具有恨的潜力。当然，我们可能会否认自己有恨的能力。想象一下，冰山顶部写着“鸽子”，所有人都能看到，而“恨”则深藏在海下，无法看到。危险在于，有一天冰山会翻滚，而“恨”的一面会在一段时间内成为唯一可见的部分。我们一次又一次地看到，一对情侣相爱后关系破裂，原本的爱情不是被中性的情感取代，而是被恨所替代。

敌意和友谊位于冰山的对立面。有时，如果我们对某人非常生气，我们的敌意会阻止我们原谅他们并友好对待他们。宽恕和接受与愤怒和敌意位于冰山的对立面。如果冰山翻滚，使愤怒成为最上面的部分，那么宽恕就会被埋在海底。

否认“负面”情绪

我们中的许多人从小就被教导否认父母、老师和其他重要人物认为的负面情绪。父母常常把愤怒归入这一类，并告诉孩子不要生气，而是要冷静下来。同样，有些父母告诉孩子不要哭泣，教他们否认痛苦和受伤的感觉。刻板印象中，这种家长行为通常针对男孩，他们可能会被告知“男孩不哭”。结果，许多孩子学会了认为愤怒和痛苦的感觉是负面情绪，并开始否认这些情绪，说“不，我不生气”，即使他们实际上非常生气，或者“不，我不痛”，即使他们确实感到疼痛。

压抑自我一部分而导致的常见痛苦例子是由压抑的愤怒引起的抑郁。作为咨询师，我们发现许多抑郁症患者无法表达他们的愤怒。通常，当我们建议他们可能对某个做了错事的人感到愤怒时，我们会遇到否认：“不，我不生气，我只是难过”，他们会说。然而，随着咨询关系的建立，他们开始更充分地表达自己。过了一段时间，随着愤怒开始浮现，抑郁也会开始缓解。最初，愤怒几乎不会被表达出来，而且会用“挫败感”等温和的词语来描述，但逐渐地，它会获得动力。这种情况越多发生，抑郁就越会消退。

同样，压抑的愤怒可能会阻碍一个人宽恕的能力。有时，一个有高道德标准的人会因为想宽恕某人但发现自己无法做到而感到困扰。然而，一旦他们能够接触并完全体验对想要宽恕的人的愤怒，他们通常就能让冰山翻滚，体验到宽恕。

有趣的是，如果我们完全接受并承认自己的愤怒，那么我们更有可能以建设性的方式处理它，而不是以破坏性的方式表达它。通过承认我们的愤怒，它往往会自发消失或减弱强度，取而代之的是一种更舒适的体验。然而，重要的是要认识到我们有愤怒的潜力，并承认这种潜力，而不是假装它不存在。一旦承认了，我们就可以选择如何处理它。

冰山模型在咨询中的有用性

有时，如果咨询师向寻求帮助的人描述冰山模型，并解释人类内部具有体验一系列情感和行为的能力，其中一些是对立的，这可能对寻求帮助的人有益。通过这种方式，可能有助于扩大他们的自我意识，并接触被压抑的情绪。

对立模型

取自格式塔疗法的对立模型在某些方面类似于冰山模型，但有一个重要的区别。像冰山一样，格式塔疗法认识到每个个体在情感、态度、信念和行为中存在对立面。这被视为正常的人类状态。在格式塔对立模型中，这些对立面被视为分离的两极，除非完全接受和整合，否则会导致内心的冲突和困惑。而在冰山模型中，假设任何时候只有一极会潜藏，格式塔模型强调整合对立面，使两者都能在“此时此刻”被完全拥有，并根据个人的选择自由访问。

对立模型的有用性

对立模型的用途

对立模型有助于一个人接受并拥有他们最初认为是不希望的或负面的品质或情绪。作为咨询师，我们可以告诉一个人，对于每一个所谓的积极或希望的情感、态度、信念、行为或品质，正常的人类也可能有相反的情感、态度、信念或品质。这是正常的，因此是可以接受的。这样的思考可以解放一个人，使他们能够处理所有的情感、个人品质、特质和属性。

使用格式塔疗法的咨询方法，过程涉及整合对立面，使任何两个对立的极点被视为连续体的两端，而不是彼此独立且分离的。然后，对立面可以被接受为共存的自我部分。这使得个人能够识别并拥有任何两个对立的极点，并且能够在它们之间的连续体上自由移动到更舒适的位置。因此，个人通过认识到他们可以选择在任何一个极点或连续体上的任何中间点，从而获得赋权。通过这种认识，他们可能能够增强他们希望增强的自我部分，并相应地成长。例如，一个以前认为自己胆小的人可能认识到自己内在有能力变得坚定。认识到这一点后，他们可以选择沿着连续体——从胆小到坚定——移动到适合他们在特定时间和特定情况下的位置。

接受自我内的对立面

对我们所有人来说，认识到并接受对立面存在于我们作为人类的内心是很重要的。如果我们想增强某种特定的品质，那么我们需要接受并处理其对立面。为了对自己诚实，我们需要能够说：

• “我有能力去爱和恨”
• “我有能力生气，也有能力宽恕”
• “我有能力宽容，也有能力不宽容”
• “我有能力慷慨，也有能力吝啬”
• “我有能力乐观，也有能力悲观”
• “我有能力热爱生活，也有能力成为扫兴的人”
• “我有能力轻松愉快，也有能力严肃认真”
• “我有能力信仰宗教，也有能力怀疑我的宗教价值观和信念”

为了在内心感到整合和舒适，我们需要接受自己的所有部分，而不仅仅是那些社会认可并与成为“好人”一致的部分。

人们为何寻求咨询

人们经常来咨询是因为他们无法接受自己的一部分。似乎他们的一部分已经沉入海底，再也看不见，也无法被承认。潜藏的部分不断想要浮出水面，而内心有一种斗争在防止冰山翻滚。自然，这样的人在试图保持自己的一部分潜藏并否认那些真正想被承认的部分时，会感到极大的不适。

帮助一个人整合对立面

有多种方法可以帮助一个人整合自我内的对立面。我们可以通过使用冰山模型来帮助他们识别并拥有自我内的对立面。或者，我们可以利用一种基于角色扮演的主动体验方法，这种方法源自格式塔疗法和心理剧。这种方法在第27章中有描述。

学习总结

• 人类性格中的对立面：人类的性格中有对立面或对立的情感。通常我们试图展示更可接受的对立面，但有时对立的极点会浮现。
• 接受隐藏的部分：如果我们能够接受自己隐藏的部分，那么我们将更好地处理这些部分，并加强其对立面，如果我们愿意的话。
• 体验性的角色扮演方法：可以帮助寻求帮助的人接受并整合对立面，使他们感觉更好。

进一步阅读

• Clarkson, P. & Cavicchia, S. 2014, Gestalt Counselling in Action, 4th edn, SAGE, London.
• Houston, G. 2003, Brief Gestalt Therapy, SAGE, London.

本章知识点阐述

进一步阐述知识点

冰山模型

隐喻的使用

冰山的比喻

冰山大部分隐藏在水面以下，象征着人类个性中许多未被意识到的部分。通过这个比喻，人们可以更容易地理解自己内心深处的情感和行为。

动态变化

冰山会翻滚，象征着人们内心的情感和行为会随时间和环境的变化而变化。这种动态变化有助于人们认识到自己的多面性和复杂性。

情感对立面

爱与恨

爱和恨是人类情感中最常见的对立面。一个人可能同时具备强烈的爱和恨的能力，但这些情感可能在不同的时间和情境中表现出来。

敌意与友谊

敌意和友谊也是对立的两极。当一个人感到愤怒时，他们可能会难以宽恕和接受他人，反之亦然。

否认负面情绪

社会影响

从小被教导否认负面情绪，如愤怒和痛苦，可能导致这些情绪被压抑，进而引发心理问题，如抑郁。

情绪释放

通过咨询，帮助人们逐渐释放被压抑的情绪，如愤怒，可以缓解抑郁等心理问题。情绪的释放有助于恢复心理健康。

冰山模型在咨询中的应用

提高自我意识

通过冰山模型，咨询师可以帮助求助者扩大自我意识，认识到自己内心深处的情感和行为。

接触被压抑的情绪

帮助求助者接触和表达被压抑的情绪，如愤怒，有助于解决内心的冲突和困惑。

对立模型

格式塔疗法的对立模型

对立面的正常性

每个人在情感、态度、信念和行为中都存在对立面，这是正常的人类状态。

整合对立面

格式塔疗法强调整合对立面，使两者都能在“此时此刻”被完全拥有，并根据个人的选择自由访问。

内心冲突的解决

接受与整合

只有完全接受和整合对立面，才能解决内心的冲突和困惑。例如，一个人可能想宽恕某人但无法做到，通过接触和体验自己的愤怒，他们可能最终能够实现宽恕。

建设性处理情绪

接受愤怒

完全接受并承认自己的愤怒，可以更有效地以建设性的方式处理情绪，而不是以破坏性的方式表达。

情绪转化

通过接受和处理愤怒，人们可能会发现愤怒会自发消失或减弱，取而代之的是一种更舒适的体验。

具体应用

冰山模型的应用

1. 提高自我意识
   • 咨询师可以通过冰山模型帮助求助者认识到自己内心深处的情感和行为，扩大自我意识。
2. 情绪释放
   • 通过引导求助者表达被压抑的情绪，如愤怒，帮助他们缓解抑郁等心理问题。

对立模型的应用

1. 接受与整合
   • 帮助求助者接受并整合内心的对立面，解决内心的冲突和困惑。
2. 建设性处理情绪
   • 通过接受和处理负面情绪，帮助求助者以建设性的方式应对生活中的挑战。

通过这些方法

咨询师可以帮助求助者更好地理解自己，解决内心的冲突，提升心理健康水平。这些方法不仅帮助人们找到解决问题的实际方法，还增强了他们的自信心和对未来的乐观态度。

学习总结

• 冰山模型

  • 隐喻的使用：通过冰山的比喻，帮助人们理解自己内心深处的情感和行为。
  • 情感对立面：探讨爱与恨、敌意与友谊等情感对立面。
  • 否认负面情绪：社会影响和情绪释放。
  • 咨询中的应用：提高自我意识和接触被压抑的情绪。

• 对立模型

  • 格式塔疗法的对立模型：对立面的正常性和整合对立面。
  • 内心冲突的解决：接受与整合。
  • 建设性处理情绪：接受愤怒和情绪转化。

参考文献和进一步阅读

• Johnson, S. M. 2004, Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy with Trauma Survivors: Strengthening Attachment Bonds, Guilford Press, New York.
• Satir, V., Banmen, J., Gerber, J., & Gomori, M. 1991, The Satir Model: Family Therapy and Beyond, Science and Behavior Books, Palo Alto, CA.
• Perls, F. S., Hefferline, R. F., & Goodman, P. 1951, Gestalt Therapy: Excitement and Growth in the Human Personality, Julian Press, New York.

进一步阐述知识点

对立模型的用途

接受与拥有

接受负面品质

对立模型帮助个人接受并拥有他们最初认为是不希望的或负面的品质或情绪。通过认识到这些对立面是正常的，个人可以更自由地处理自己的情感和品质。

解放自我

这种接受和拥有可以解放个人，使他们能够更全面地认识自己，处理各种情感和品质，从而减少内心的冲突和困惑。

整合对立面

连续体的概念

对立面被视为连续体的两端，而不是彼此独立的。这有助于个人认识到对立面是共存的自我部分，而不是相互排斥的。

自由选择

通过整合对立面，个人可以在连续体上自由移动到更舒适的位置，选择在任何一个极点或中间点，从而获得赋权和成长。

接受自我内的对立面

重要性

认识对立面

认识到并接受对立面存在于我们作为人类的内心是很重要的。这有助于个人更全面地理解自己，减少内心的矛盾和冲突。

诚实面对自己

为了对自己诚实，我们需要能够承认自己具备各种对立的情感和品质，包括正面和负面的。

具体例子

• 爱与恨：承认自己既有爱的能力也有恨的能力。
• 愤怒与宽恕：承认自己既能感到愤怒也能宽恕他人。
• 宽容与不宽容：承认自己既能宽容也能不宽容。
• 慷慨与吝啬：承认自己既能慷慨也能吝啬。
• 乐观与悲观：承认自己既能乐观也能悲观。
• 热爱生活与扫兴：承认自己既能热爱生活也能成为扫兴的人。
• 轻松愉快与严肃认真：承认自己既能轻松愉快也能严肃认真。
• 信仰与怀疑：承认自己既能信仰宗教也能怀疑自己的宗教价值观和信念。

人们为何寻求咨询

无法接受自我

潜藏的部分

人们常常因为无法接受自己的一部分而寻求咨询。这些部分可能已经被潜藏，不再被意识到或承认。

内心斗争

潜藏的部分不断想要浮出水面，导致内心的斗争。这种斗争会使人们感到不适，从而寻求帮助。

咨询的作用

解放潜藏部分

通过咨询，可以帮助人们认识到并接受这些潜藏的部分，减少内心的冲突和不适。

增强自我认知

咨询过程有助于增强个人的自我认知，使他们更好地理解自己，处理内心的矛盾和冲突。

帮助一个人整合对立面

方法一：冰山模型

识别对立面

通过冰山模型，帮助个人识别并拥有自我内的对立面，扩大自我意识。

处理隐藏部分

帮助个人接触和处理被压抑的情感和品质，减轻内心的冲突和不适。

方法二：体验性的角色扮演

主动体验

利用基于角色扮演的主动体验方法，帮助个人在实际情境中体验和接受对立面。

增强自我认知

通过角色扮演，个人可以更深入地了解自己，增强自我认知，促进个人成长。

总结

通过对立模型，咨询师可以帮助求助者接受并拥有自己内心的各种对立面，减少内心的冲突和不适。这不仅有助于个人更好地理解自己，还能促进个人的成长和发展。无论是通过冰山模型还是体验性的角色扮演方法，都有助于个人在连续体上自由选择，找到适合自己的位置，实现内心的整合和舒适。

学习总结

• 对立模型的用途

  • 接受与拥有：帮助个人接受并拥有负面品质，解放自我。
  • 整合对立面：连续体的概念和自由选择。

• 接受自我内的对立面

  • 重要性：认识对立面和诚实面对自己。
  • 具体例子：爱与恨、愤怒与宽恕等。

• 人们为何寻求咨询

  • 无法接受自我：潜藏的部分和内心斗争。
  • 咨询的作用：解放潜藏部分和增强自我认知。

• 帮助一个人整合对立面

  • 方法一：冰山模型：识别对立面和处理隐藏部分。
  • 方法二：体验性的角色扮演：主动体验和增强自我认知。

参考文献和进一步阅读

• Johnson, S. M. 2004, Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy with Trauma Survivors: Strengthening Attachment Bonds, Guilford Press, New York.
• Satir, V., Banmen, J., Gerber, J., & Gomori, M. 1991, The Satir Model: Family Therapy and Beyond, Science and Behavior Books, Palo Alto, CA.
• Perls, F. S., Hefferline, R. F., & Goodman, P. 1951, Gestalt Therapy: Excitement and Growth in the Human Personality, Julian Press, New York.

23 Exploring polarities We are stating the obvious when we say that the human personality is incredibly complex, because it certainly is. Even though it is complex, it can be useful to describe the human personality in terms of easily understandable models in order to help us conceptualise aspects of human behaviour. Any model we use is certain to be an over simplification, but even so a model can be useful in helping us to understand more fully what happens in ourselves and in the people who seek our help. In this chapter we will consider two models which are of particular value with regard to our understanding of the existence of different parts of self in the human personality, and the way in which a person’s awareness of opposites within themselves can be raised through counselling. These models can also be very useful if we explain them to a person who seeks our help and use them in a way which enables the person to change and feel more comfortable. The models are: 1 the iceberg model 2 the polarities model. THE ICEBERG MODEL A good metaphor to illustrate opposites in the human personality is the iceberg, as illustrated in Figure 23.1. An iceberg floats so that most of it is below the waterline and cannot be seen. Human beings are a bit like that. As you get to know a person, you will see parts of their personality. You will see those parts that are, metaphorically speaking, above the waterline. There are other parts of that person’s personality too, but you do not see these as they are submerged below the waterline. Even the person concerned is unlikely to be fully aware of all those parts which are below the waterline. Icebergs have a tendency to roll over from time to time, and as they roll over, some parts of the iceberg that had previously been submerged come into sight. From time to time, hidden parts of a person’s personality come unexpectedly into view, rather like those parts of the iceberg that show when it rolls over. Sometimes it is other people who are surprised by what they see when this happens, and sometimes it is the person concerned who gets a surprise. I he most commonly talked about opposites in human feelings are love and hate. How often have you heard someone talk about a love/hate relationship? You may be aware from your own experience that a love/hate relationship can exist. If we have a strong capacity for loving, then it is likely that we also have the potential to

Figure 23.1 The iceberg model of human personality hate. We may of course deny our capacity to hate. Just imagine the iceberg with the word dove’ sitting on the top, out in the open for everyone to see, and the word hate7 right down below the sea, and hidden from view. The danger exists that one day the iceberg will roll over and the 'hate’ side will be all that will be seen tor a while. lime and time again we see a relationship where a couple fall in love and then the relationship breaks up, and the love that was there is replaced not with something neutral but with hate. Hostility and friendship are on opposites sides of the iceberg. Sometimes if we are feeling very angry’ with somebody, our hostility prevents us from forgiving them and being friendly towards them. Forgiveness and acceptance are on the opposite side of the iceberg to anger and hostility. If the iceberg rolls around so that anger is uppermost, then forgiveness is buried beneath the sea. DENIAL OF 'NEGATIVE' EMOTIONS Many of us are taught from childhood to deny what our parents, teachers and other significant persons regard as negative emotions. Parents often put angry feelings into this category and tell their children not to be angry but to calm down. Similarly, some parents tell their children not to cry and teach them to disown feelings of pain and hurt. Stereo typically, such parental behaviour is often directed towards boys who may be told that 'boys don’t cry’. As a result, many children learn to think that angry feelings and feelings of pain and hurt are negative emotions and start to disown them, saying things such as lNo, I’m not ailgry’, when they are really veiy aftgry indeed, or (No, it doesn’t hurt’, when it certainly does. A common example of distress caused by suppressing a part of self is the depression caused by repressed anger. As counsellors, we have found that many people who are depressed are unable to express their anger. Often, when we suggest to them that maybe they feel angry with a person who has done something wrong to them, we will be met with a denial: 'No, I’m not angry, I’m just sad’, they will say. Gradually, however, as the counselling relationship builds, they will begin to express themselves more fully. After a while, as anger starts to emerge, the depression will start to lift. At first the anger will be barely expressed and will be described in very mild terms using words such as 'frustration’, but gradually it will gain momentum. The more this happens, the more the depression recedes. Similarly, repressed anger may block the ability of a person to forgive. Sometimes, a person who has high moral values will be concerned because they wish to forgive someone but find themselves unable to do so. However, once they are able to get in touch with their anger towards the person they wish to forgive, and fully experience that anger, they are often able to allow the iceberg to roll over and experience forgiveness. It is somewhat paradoxical that if we fully accept, and own, our anger, then we are more likely to be able to deal with it constructively rather than express it destructively. By owning our anger, it will often spontaneously disappear or reduce in intensity, and in its place we are likely to experience a more comfortable emotion. It is important, however, to recognise that we have a potential to be angry, and to own that potential rather than to pretend it isn’t there. Then, once it is owned, we have a choice as to how we can deal with it.

USEFULNESS OF THE ICEBERG MODEL IN COUNSELLING Sometimes it may be helpful for a person seeking help if the counsellor describes the iceberg model and explains that it is normal for human beings to have within them the capacity to experience a range of emotions and behaviours, some of which are opposite to others. In this way it may be possible to help the person to expand their self-awareness and to get in touch with repressed emotions. THE POLARITIES MODEL The polarities model, taken from Gestalt Therapy, is in some ways similar to the iceberg model, but with an important difference. As in the iceberg, Gestalt Therapy recognises the existence of opposites in feelings, attitudes, beliefs and behaviours in each human being. I bis is seen as a normal human condition. In the Gestalt polarities model these opposites are viewed as separated polarities that cause inner conflict and confusion to the person unless they are fully accepted and integrated. Whereas in the iceberg model it is assumed that one polarity or the other will be submerged at any one time, the Gestalt model places emphasis on integrating the polarities so that both polarities are fully owned in the "here and now' and can be accessed freely as a person chooses. USEFULNESS OF THE POLARITIES MODEL 1 he polarities model can be useful for helping a person to feel OK about accepting and owning what they initially believe are undesirable or negative qualities or emotions. As counsellors, we can tell a person that for every’ so-called positive or desirable emotion, attitude, belief, behaviour or quality, normal human beings may also have an opposite emotion, attitude, belief or quality. This is normal and therefore OK. Such thinking can free up the person to deal with all their emotions, personal qualities, traits and attributes. Using a Gestalt Therapy counselling approach, the process involves integrating the polarities so that any two opposite polarities are seen as ends of a continuum rather than as discrete and separate from each other. Opposite polarities can then be accepted as coexisting parts of self. This allows the person to recognise and own any two opposite polarities and to feel free to move to a more comfortable position on the continuum between them. As a result, the person is empowered by the recognition that they can, if they wish, choose to be at either polarity or at any intermediate point on the continuum. Through this recognition they may be enabled to strengthen those parts of themselves that they would like to strengthen, and can grow as a person accordingly. For example, someone who has previously seen themselves as timid may recognise an inner ability to be assertive. Having recognised this, they then have the choice to move along the continuum — timid to assertive — to a position that suits them at any particular time and in any particular situation. ACCEPTANCE OF POLARITIES WITHIN SELF It’s important for all of us to recognise and own that opposites exist within us as human beings. If we want to strengthen a particular quality, then we need to accept and deal with its opposite. To be honest with ourselves we need to be able to say: 'I’m capable of loving and hating’; ‘I’m capable of being angry and I’m capable of being forgiving’; ‘I’m capable of being tolerant and capable of being intolerant’; ‘I’m capable of being generous and miserly’; ‘I’m capable of being optimistic and being pessimistic7; ‘I’m capable of being fun-loving and being a kill joy7; ‘Fin capable of being light hearted and being serious7; or Tm capable of being religious and of having doubts about my religious values and beliefs’. In order to feel integrated and comfortable within ourselves, we need to accept all the parts of ourselves, and not just those parts that are socially acceptable and consistent with being a ‘nice’ person. People often come to counselling because they are unable to accept parts of themselves. It seems as if parts of themselves have become submerged beneath the sea, never to be seen and never to be owned. The submerged parts are continually wanting to surface, and there is an inner struggle to prevent the iceberg from rolling over. Naturally such people feel considerable discomfort when they tty to keep parts of themselves submerged and try to deny parts of themselves that really want to be HELPING A PERSON TO INTEGRATE POLARITIES 1 here is more than one way in which to help a person to integrate polarities within themselves. We can do this by using the iceberg model with them, and helping them to recognise and own opposites within self. Alternatively, we can make use of an active experiential method which involves role-play and has its origins in Gestalt Therapy and psycho drama. This method is described in Chapter 27.

Learning summary Human beings have polarities or opposites in their personalities. Generally we try to show the more acceptable polarities but sometimes the opposite polarities emerge. If we can accept the hidden parts of ourselves, then we will be better able to deal with them and to strengthen their opposites, if that is what we want. Experiential role-play methods can be useful in enabling a person seeking help to accept and integrate polarities so that they feel better. Further reading Clarkson, P. & Cavicchia, S. 2014, Gestalt GoHnselliug in Xrtii&l, 4th edn, SAGE, London. Houston, G. 2003, Brief Gestalt Therapy, SAGE, London.