22. 解决方案导向的咨询技能

以解决方案为中心的辅导技能

概述

如前一章所述，来自以解决方案为中心的辅导（Macdonald, 2011）和叙事疗法（White, 2007）的技能对于帮助寻求帮助的人利用他们的优势而非专注于问题的消极方面特别有用。此外，这些技能鼓励人们对未来持乐观态度。它们通常用于辅导过程中的某个点，即辅导员帮助人们以不同方式思考问题（参见第135页和第136页的图16.1和16.2，它们探讨了重构思维）。

以解决方案为中心的辅导方法

以解决方案为中心的辅导提出了一系列帮助人们积极思考和对未来持乐观态度的方法。这些方法包括：

1. 寻找例外情况
2. 识别对负面经历的积极反应
3. 对已发生的变化保持积极态度
4. 对未来持乐观态度

每种方法将依次讨论。

寻找例外情况

一个强大的技术是通过使用例外导向的问题来突出例外，从而帮助人们接触他们的优势。例外导向的问题旨在通过关注不发生或未发生不良行为的时间或情况来促进改变。对于几乎每一个寻求帮助的人来说，过去和现在都会有无问题的时间。然而，许多人可能没有意识到这些无问题的时间。因此，辅导员的任务是帮助寻求帮助的人识别那些当前困难没有发生的时间或情况。一旦这些时间或情况被识别，辅导员可以详细询问。辅导员可以问什么时候、在哪里、与谁发生了这些例外情况。例如，一个人可能会说：“我担心因为我每天晚上都在喝酒”，辅导员可以通过寻找例外情况来回应：“有没有哪天晚上你没喝酒？”这个人可能能够识别出一些没有喝酒的时间。在这种情况下，辅导员可以进一步探索，说：“告诉我关于那些时间的情况。”辅导员可以使用这些人对这些时间的事实、感受和想法的看法，帮助他们主动规划如何度过另一个没有喝酒的夜晚。需要注意的是，这个人可能无法识别出最近没有喝酒的时间。在这种情况下，辅导员会建议可能有过一个时期他们并不是每天晚上都喝酒。然后，辅导员会问问题帮助他们回忆在问题未发生时所使用的技能。这可能包括探索他们在问题未发生时的想法、行为和情感感受。当帮助人们处理饮酒问题时，阅读第29章（辅导那些受成瘾困扰的人）也可能有所帮助。

在寻找例外情况时，关注那些人们预期问题会发生但实际上发生了不同情况或采取了不同行动的时间是有用的。例如，一个人可能会说：“去年生日是我们唯一一次没有吵架的时间”，辅导员可以回应：“你当时做了什么不同的事情？”或“你猜猜为什么那次没有吵架？”重点在于什么起了作用，帮助人们详细扩展它是如何起作用的，并帮助他们回忆起事情顺利进行时的感觉。

以下是一些辅导员可以用来了解问题未发生或不存在时的例外情况的陈述或问题：

• 告诉我那些你不生气的时间。
• 你和你父亲什么时候相处得很好，不会争吵？
• 在什么情况下你能控制住自己的急躁？
• 告诉我那些你觉得幸福的时间。

通常在外部化问题之后探索例外情况是有帮助的，如第21章所述。合适的提问可能包括：

• 你能回忆起一些你阻止问题影响你生活的场合吗？
• 在这些场合中，你是如何限制问题的影响的？

突出例外情况的意义

突出例外情况可以赋予人们寻找解决方案的力量。例外导向的问题旨在帮助人们发现，在某些时间和情况下，他们的行为或曾经的行为有所不同，并且认识到是什么使他们在那些时间和情况下能够表现出不同的行为。通过这种方式获得理解，使他们能够接触到自己的内在力量，从而能够更多地控制自己的行为或环境。通过认识到这一点，他们可能能够做出选择，带来积极的改变。

详细探讨例外情况

一旦辅导员发现有问题是不发生的时间，辅导员可以提出问题，详细探讨那些时间里发生了什么。例如，辅导员可能会问：

• 当你能够战胜问题时，你在做什么？
• 当问题不在时，你与伴侣的关系如何？
• 当这个问题不在时，你主要的感受是什么？
• 你知道有哪些策略在过去被你使用过，现在也可以使用？

重点与目标

在寻找例外情况时，重点是帮助人们认识到有时他们自信且感到自在；目标是识别他们曾经或现在有能力且有效的情况，而不是专注于他们感到绝望、无价值和被问题压垮的时候。例如，一个年轻人可能会说：“学校的老师说我什么都不擅长。”对此，辅导员可以回应：“你母亲告诉我你花了很多时间滑板。你是怎么变得擅长滑板的？”他们可能会回答：“我一遍又一遍地重复相同的动作，直到我成为专家。每次做动作时，我都会注意自己做错的地方，以便下次改正。”通过问“你是怎么变得擅长滑板的？”辅导员能够帮助年轻人认识到他们学习特定技能所使用的方法。然后，辅导员可以帮助他们将这些方法和技能转移到问题领域。

进一步阐述

• 寻找例外情况的重要性：寻找例外情况是一种强大的技术，通过关注不发生或未发生不良行为的时间或情况，帮助人们认识到自己在某些时候或情况下能够表现得更好。这不仅有助于人们发现自己的优势，还能增强他们解决问题的信心。
• 例外导向的问题：通过提出例外导向的问题，辅导员可以帮助人们详细描述那些问题未发生的时间或情况，从而找到解决问题的方法。例如，通过询问“你当时做了什么不同的事情？”或“你猜猜为什么那次没有吵架？”辅导员可以帮助人们认识到自己的积极行为和思维方式。
• 积极的视角：以解决方案为中心的辅导强调积极的视角，鼓励人们关注自己已经取得的进步和成功，而不是过度关注问题本身。这有助于人们建立自信，对未来持乐观态度。
• 具体应用：在实际应用中，辅导员可以通过具体的例子和问题来引导求助者，帮助他们认识到自己的内在力量。例如，通过询问“你是怎么变得擅长滑板的？”辅导员可以帮助年轻人将学习滑板的经验应用到其他问题领域。

通过以解决方案为中心的辅导技能，人们可以更好地认识和利用自己的优势，从而有效地解决生活中的问题。

识别对负面经历的积极反应

人们经常谈论他们的过去经历是如何导致他们目前的问题的。在这个过程中，他们往往未能认识到自己在应对过去经历时所展现的个人力量。此外，通常可以发现，过去的负面经历可以被视为虽然负面，但带来了某种积极的结果。例如，一个人可能会将他们目前的情况归咎于一个过分惩罚的父亲的行为。在这种情况下，辅导员可以表示好奇，询问这个人是如何在受到严厉惩罚的情况下仍然能够应对和生存的。然后，他们可能能够认识到自己现在拥有一些有用的内在资源，这些资源使他们能够应对困难或不愉快的情况。

在寻找对负面经历的积极反应时，第一步是让寻求帮助的人知道他们已经被听到，他们的问题、担忧、经历和观点被理解了。辅导员随后可以明确表示，他们相信该人掌控着自己的生活，因此任何成功的成就必定是该人的努力结果。例如，一个人在谈论她的女儿时可能会说：“她把我踩在脚下。她只会做那些她知道有奖励的事情。”辅导员可以回应说：“在我看来，你通过使用奖励作为有效的策略改变了她的行为。”通过这样说，辅导员明确地将积极的变化归功于寻求帮助的人的努力，而不是仅仅关注他们陈述中的消极部分。

对辅导员来说，详细探讨一个人在某个选择或变化导致积极结果时的情况是有用的。他们可以与该人分享在类似情况下对他们有效的做法，或者对有相同困难的其他人有效的做法。例如，辅导员可能会说：“当我感到这样时，我知道对我最好的是独自去散个长步。”或者，辅导员可能会说：“其他人告诉我，当他们经历你所描述的情况时，他们发现做一些积极的事情是有帮助的。”

一些特定的问题可以用来帮助人们认识到他们在不利情况下应对得非常好。这些问题旨在鼓励他们以积极的角度看待自己的行为，并发现未被认识到的优势。对于那些不确定自己是否能很好地应对生活的人，这类问题尤其有用。这类问题的例子包括：

• 为什么事情没有变得更糟？
• 是什么阻止了彻底的灾难发生？
• 你是如何避免崩溃的？

辅导员可以接着积极肯定该人在应对过程中采取的任何行动。

对已发生的变化保持积极态度

当事情糟糕时开始发生变化，人们很容易忽视已经发生的积极变化。因此，辅导员必须警惕，寻找由于某人的行动而可能发生的积极变化。有两种有用的方法可以帮助某人因过去的或近期的成就而感觉更好。一种是提出一个预设积极变化的问题，另一种是使用加油打气的问题。

一个预设变化的问题的例子是：

• 自从上次见到我以来，有什么不同或更好的地方吗？

这个问题预设自从上次会议以来已经发生了一些变化，可能帮助该人识别出有所改善的事物，让他们对自己的进步或近期成就感到高兴。通常情况下，除非特意提出问题来识别变化，否则积极的变化会被忽视。例如，尽管他们这一周的争吵减少了，但他们可能没有注意到这一点。通过使用预设变化的问题，辅导员可以将变化聚焦，使小的变化变得值得注意，从而让人们认识到改进已经开始。一旦识别出改进，就有动力继续改进，从而实现显著的变化。

Walter 和 Beller（1992）描述了加油打气问题的使用。当某人告诉辅导员他们使用了以前导致不良后果的行为之外的积极行为时，辅导员表现出热情的情感支持反应，这就是加油打气。典型的加油打气问题包括：

• 你是怎么做到的？
• 你是怎么设法做出那个决定的？
• 干得好。那一定很难做到；你是怎么做到的？

此外，有些陈述也有类似的效果，比如：

• 听起来不错！
• 太棒了！

加油打气的问题很有用，因为它们帮助某人认识到并受到鼓舞，了解到他们有能力表现出不同，从而使积极的结果发生。

对未来持乐观态度

有时，为了帮助某人对未来持乐观态度，辅导员将某人的当前情况描述为一个阶段，或者谈论相关问题为一个阶段；这是一个他们可能会成长超越或最终克服的阶段。例如，一个人可能会说：“我的母亲六个月前去世了，我现在仍然感到沮丧。”对此，辅导员可以回应：“失去母亲是一个巨大的损失。在你能向前迈进之前，你需要时间哀悼。当亲近的人去世时，所有人都需要这样做，但随着时间的推移，大多数人的悲伤会减轻，他们会开始感觉好一些。”这个陈述旨在帮助某人认识到他们正处于一个适合哀悼的阶段，并且这个阶段很可能会过去。

在帮助某人设定未来的目标准时，重要的是既要现实又要乐观。当看起来有可能发生时，建议在未来的某个时刻，问题将会结束或情况会变好。当某人谈论他们的问题时，如果辅导员以要实现的目标而不是要消除的问题来重述该人所说的话，这会有所帮助。例如，某人可能会说：“我很担心，因为我丈夫和我总是争吵。”辅导员可以回应：“如果你和你的丈夫能更好地相处，你会很高兴。你考虑过这可能如何实现吗？”通过这种方式回应，焦点从争吵的消极面转移开来，而是指向了一个积极的目标。

学习总结

• 寻找例外情况将注意力集中在过去的成功上，使人们能够从中学习。
• 关注在经历负面经历时取得的成功，使人们接触到自己的内在力量。
• 注意到积极的变化可能会促进更多的变化。
• 对未来持乐观态度可能使寻求帮助的人寻找解决方案。

本章知识点阐述

进一步阐述知识点

寻找例外情况的重要性

寻找例外情况是一种强大的技术，通过关注不发生或未发生不良行为的时间或情况，帮助人们认识到自己在某些时候或情况下能够表现得更好。这不仅有助于人们发现自己的优势，还能增强他们解决问题的信心。

例外导向的问题

通过提出例外导向的问题，辅导员可以帮助人们详细描述那些问题未发生的时间或情况，从而找到解决问题的方法。例如，通过询问“你当时做了什么不同的事情？”或“你猜猜为什么那次没有吵架？”辅导员可以帮助人们认识到自己的积极行为和思维方式。

积极的视角

以解决方案为中心的辅导强调积极的视角，鼓励人们关注自己已经取得的进步和成功，而不是过度关注问题本身。这有助于人们建立自信，对未来持乐观态度。

具体应用

在实际应用中，辅导员可以通过具体的例子和问题来引导求助者，帮助他们认识到自己的内在力量。例如，通过询问“你是怎么变得擅长滑板的？”辅导员可以帮助年轻人将学习滑板的经验应用到其他问题领域。

示例

1. 寻找例外情况

   • 情境：一个经常与伴侣争吵的人。
   • 例外导向的问题：
     • 你有没有注意到什么时候你们没有争吵？
     • 那次发生了什么不同的事情？
     • 你觉得是什么因素帮助你们避免了争吵？

2. 积极的视角

   • 情境：一个在工作中遇到困难的员工。
   • 积极导向的问题：
     • 你最近有没有在工作中取得过一些小的成功？
     • 你是怎么做到的？
     • 你认为这些成功能给你带来什么启示？

3. 具体应用

   • 情境：一个青少年在学习上遇到困难。
   • 具体应用的问题：
     • 你是怎么变得擅长滑板的？
     • 你在学习滑板的过程中遇到了哪些挑战，你是怎么克服的？
     • 你能否将这些经验应用到学习上？

通过以解决方案为中心的辅导技能

通过以解决方案为中心的辅导技能，人们可以更好地认识和利用自己的优势，从而有效地解决生活中的问题。这种方法不仅帮助人们找到解决问题的实际方法，还增强了他们的自信心和对未来的乐观态度。

学习总结

• 寻找例外情况：通过关注不发生或未发生不良行为的时间或情况，帮助人们认识到自己的优势。
• 例外导向的问题：通过提出具体的问题，帮助人们详细描述那些问题未发生的时间或情况。
• 积极的视角：鼓励人们关注自己已经取得的进步和成功，而不是过度关注问题本身。
• 具体应用：通过具体的例子和问题，引导求助者认识到自己的内在力量，并将这些经验应用到其他问题领域。

参考文献和进一步阅读

• de Shazer, S. 1985, Keys to Solution in Brief Therapy, W.W. Norton & Company, New York.
• O'Connell, B. 1998, Solution Focused Therapy: Helping People with Problems to Succeed, Allen & Unwin, St Leonards, NSW.
• Berg, I.K. & Miller, S.D. 1992, Working with the Problem Drinker: A Solution-Focused Approach, Norton, New York.

进一步阐述知识点

识别对负面经历的积极反应

个人力量的发现

通过关注过去经历中的积极反应，人们可以发现自己的内在力量和资源。例如，一个曾遭受严厉惩罚的人可能在不知不觉中发展出了应对困难的能力。

积极视角的培养

辅导员通过提出积极的问题，帮助人们重新审视自己的行为，发现其中的积极因素。例如，通过询问“你是怎么避免崩溃的？”辅导员可以帮助人们认识到自己在面对困境时的坚强。

对已发生的变化保持积极态度

预设积极变化

通过提出预设积极变化的问题，辅导员可以帮助人们识别出已经发生的改进。例如，“自从上次见到我以来，有什么不同或更好的地方吗？”这样的问题可以促使人们注意到自己的进步。

加油打气

通过积极的反馈和支持，辅导员可以增强人们的信心。例如，“你是怎么做到的？”这样的问题不仅认可了对方的努力，还激发了他们继续前进的动力。

对未来持乐观态度

阶段性的认知

将当前的问题视为一个阶段，可以帮助人们认识到困难是暂时的。例如，辅导员可以通过说“失去母亲是一个巨大的损失，但随着时间的推移，大多数人的悲伤会减轻”来帮助人们看到希望。

目标导向的对话

通过将问题转化为目标，辅导员可以帮助人们从消极的情绪中解脱出来，专注于解决问题。例如，将“我们总是争吵”转化为“我们如何更好地相处”可以引导人们朝着积极的方向努力。

具体应用

识别积极反应

1. 倾听和理解
   • 首先，辅导员需要倾听并理解求助者的经历和感受。
2. 提出积极问题
   • 通过提出积极的问题，帮助求助者认识到自己在面对困难时的积极行为。例如，“你是怎么避免崩溃的？”

保持积极态度

1. 预设积极变化
   • 定期询问求助者是否有任何积极的变化，帮助他们注意到自己的进步。例如，“自从上次见到我以来，有什么不同或更好的地方吗？”
2. 加油打气
   • 通过积极的反馈和支持，增强求助者的信心。例如，“你是怎么做到的？”

对未来持乐观态度

1. 阶段性的认知
   • 将当前的问题视为一个阶段，帮助求助者认识到困难是暂时的。例如，辅导员可以通过说“失去母亲是一个巨大的损失，但随着时间的推移，大多数人的悲伤会减轻”来帮助人们看到希望。
2. 目标导向的对话
   • 将问题转化为目标，引导求助者朝着积极的方向努力。例如，“你们如何更好地相处？”

通过这些方法

辅导员可以帮助求助者更好地应对生活中的挑战，增强他们的内在力量，促进积极的变化。这些方法不仅帮助人们找到解决问题的实际方法，还增强了他们的自信心和对未来的乐观态度。

学习总结

• 识别对负面经历的积极反应：

  • 个人力量的发现：通过关注过去经历中的积极反应，发现内在力量和资源。
  • 积极视角的培养：通过提出积极的问题，帮助人们重新审视自己的行为，发现其中的积极因素。

• 对已发生的变化保持积极态度：

  • 预设积极变化：通过提出预设积极变化的问题，帮助人们识别出已经发生的改进。
  • 加油打气：通过积极的反馈和支持，增强人们的信心。

• 对未来持乐观态度：

  • 阶段性的认知：将当前的问题视为一个阶段，帮助人们认识到困难是暂时的。
  • 目标导向的对话：将问题转化为目标，引导求助者朝着积极的方向努力。

参考文献和进一步阅读

• de Shazer, S. 1985, Keys to Solution in Brief Therapy, W.W. Norton & Company, New York.
• O'Connell, B. 1998, Solution Focused Therapy: Helping People with Problems to Succeed, Allen & Unwin, St Leonards, NSW.
• Berg, I.K. & Miller, S.D. 1992, Working with the Problem Drinker: A Solution-Focused Approach, Norton, New York.

22 Solution-focused counselling skills As discussed in the previous chapter, skills from Solution-Focused Counselling (as described by Macdonald. 2011) and Narrative Therapy (White, 2007) are particularly useful in enabling a person seeking help to make use of their strengths rather than focus on the negative aspects of their problems. Also, these skills encourage the person to take an optimistic view of the future. They are generally used at the point in the counselling process where the counsellor helps the person to think differently about their problem (see Figures 16.1 and 16.2, pages 135 and 136, which look at restructuring thoughts). Solution-Focused Counselling suggests a number of ways of helping a person to think positively and to gain an optimistic view of the future. These include:

1. looking for exceptions 2 identifying positive responses to negative experiences 3 being positive about change that has occurred 4 being optimistic about the future. Each of these will be discussed in turn. LOOKING FOR EXCEPTIONS A powerful technique to enable a person to get m touch with their strengths is to highlight exceptions by using exception-oriented questions. Except ion-oriented questions aim to promote change by drawing attention to times or situations where an undesirable behaviour did not, or does not, occur. For almost every person who seeks help there will have been past and present problem-free times. However, it is quite possible that many people will not have recognised these problem-free times. A task for the counsellor is therefore to help the person seeking help to identify those times or situations when their current difficulty didn’t occur. Once these have been identified, the counsellor can inquire about them in detail. The counsellor can ask what, when and with whom this exception to the difficulty occurred. For example, a person might say, ‘I’m concerned because I’m drinking every night’, and the counsellor might respond by looking for exceptions by saying, ‘Are there any nights when you haven’t had a drink?’ The person might be able to identify some times when they haven’t been drinking. In this case the counsellor might explore further by saying something like, ‘Tell me about those times.’ The counsellor may then use the person’s views of facts, feelings and ideas associated with these times to help the person to proactively plan how to spend another night without drinking. It needs to be recognised that the person may be unable to identify any recent times when they have not been drinking. In this situation the counsellor will suggest that there might have been a time when they didn’t drink every night. The counsellor will then ask questions to help them remember the skills they used in times when the problem didn’t occur. T’his may include exploring thoughts, behaviours and emotional feelings that they experienced in those times when the problem did not occur. When helping a person deal with a drinking problem, it might also be useful to read Chapter 29 (counselling those troubled by addiction). When looking for exceptions it can be useful to look for times when the person expected the problem to occur but something happened differently or the person acted differently. For example, a person might say 'Last year on my birthday was the only time we didn’t fight’ and the counsellor might respond by saying 'What did you do differently?’ or 'What is your guess about why you didn’t fight?’ The focus is on what worked, helping the person to expand on the details of how it worked and helping them to retrieve how it felt to have things work. Here are some examples of statements or questions a counsellor could use to find out about exceptions when the problem did not or does not occur: Tell me about the times when you don't get angry. When do you and your father get on well without arguing? in what situations do you have control of your impatience? Tell me about times when you have felt happy. Often it is helpful to explore exceptions after externalising the problem, as described in Chapter 21. Suitable questions might then be: Can you recall some occasions when you have prevented the problem from influencing your life? How did you restrict the problem's influence on these occasions?

Highlighting exceptions can empower a person to find solutions

Exception-oriented questions aim to help a person discover that there are times and situations where they behave, or have behaved, differently, and to recognise what it is that enables them to behave differently at those times or in those situations. Gaining understanding in this way enables them to get in touch with their own inner strength so that they can take more control of their behaw our or their environment. By recognising this, they may be able to make choices to bring about positive change. Once the counsellor has discovered that there were times when the problem did not occur, the counsellor can ask questions to explore in detail what was happening at those times. For example, the counsellor might ask questions like: What were you doing at the time when you were able to beat the problem? Can you describe your relationship with your partner at the time when the problem wasn't present? What's your main experience when this problem is not around? What strategies do you know that you have called upon in the past and that you can also use now? When looking tor exceptions, the focus is on helping the person to recognise that at times they are confident and ieel at ease; the aim is to identify situations where they are, or have been, competent and effective, rather than focusing on times when they feel despairing, worthless and overwhelmed by a problem. For example, a young person might say, " The teachers at school say I’m not good at anything.’ In response, the counsellor might say, ‘Your mother told me that you spend a lot of time skateboarding. How did you become good at that?’ They might reply by saying, '1 repeat the same tricks over and over until 1 get expert at doing them. Each time 1 do a trick 1 notice the things that I do wrong so that 1 can correct them the next time.’ By asking Bow did you become good at that?’, the counsellor will have enabled the young person to recognise the strategies they have used for learning particular skills. The counsellor might then be able to help them to transfer these strategies and skills for use in the problem area. IDENTIFYING POSITIVE RESPONSES TO NEGATIVE EXPERIENCES People will often talk about their past experiences as contributing to their current problems. In doing this they often fail to recognise the personal strength that they used in coping with their past experiences. Additionally, it can often be found that negative experiences in the past can be viewed as experiences that, while being negative, have brought about something positive. For example, a person may blame their current situation on the actions of an excessively punitive father. In such a situation the counsellor can express curiosity about how the person was able to cope and survive despite receiving harsh punishment. They might then be able to recognise that they now have some useful inner resources which will enable them to cope with difficult or unpleasant situations. When looking for positive responses to negative experiences the first step is to let the person seeking help know that they have been heard and that their problems, concerns, experiences and points of view are understood. The counsellor can then make it clear that they believe that the person is in control of their own life and consequently suggest that any successful achievement must be a result of the person’s efforts. For example, a person, when talking about her daughter, might say, 'She walks all over me. She’ll only do things if she knows there is a reward,’ and the counsellor might respond by saying, 'It seems to me that you have been able to change her behaviour by using rewards as a useful strategy.’ By saying this, the counsellor clearly attributes positive change to the efforts of the person seeking help, instead of exclusively focusing on the negative part of their statement. It can be useful for counsellors to explore in detail times when a person made a choice or a change that resulted in a positive outcome. They may share with the person what has worked for them in similar situations, or what has worked for other people with the same difficulty. For example, the counsellor might say, 'When I feel like that, I know it’s best for me to go for a long walk by myself/ Alternatively, the counsellor might say, 'Other people have told me that when they experience what you are describing, they find it is helpful to do something active.’ Some particular questions can be used to help a person recognise that they have coped extremely well in adverse situations. These are aimed at encouraging them to view their behaviour in a positive light and to discover unrecognised strengths. Such questions can be extremely useful for those people who are unsure about how well they are coping with life. Examples of this kind of question are: Why aren't things worse? What stopped total disaster from occurring? How did you avoid falling apart? These questions can be followed up by the counsellor positively affirming the person with regard to any action they took to cope. BEING POSITIVE ABOUT CHANGE THAT HAS OCCURRED When things have been bad and things start to change it is easy for a person to fail to recognise that positive change has occurred. Consequently it is important for counsellors to be vigilant in looking for the possibility that positive change has occurred as a consequence of a person’s actions. There are two useful ways of helping someone to feel better as a result of past or recent achievements. One is to ask a question which presupposes positive change, and the other is to use a cheerleading question. An example of a question that presupposes change is: What has been different or better since you saw me last? 1 his question presupposes that some change has occurred since the last meeting and may help the person identify things that have improved, so that they can feel good about the progress they have made or their recent achievements. Quite often, positive change goes unnoticed unless a deliberate question is asked in order to identify change. For example, although they may have had fewer arguments during the week, they might not have recognised this. By using a question that presupposes change, the counsellor can bring the change into focus, making small changes newsworthy so that there is a recognition that improvement has begun. Once improvement has been identified, there is an incentive to make further improvement so that significant change can occur. The use of cheerleading questions has been described by Walter and Beller (1992). Counsellors engage in cheerleading when they show enthusiastic reactions of emotional support when a person tells them that they have used behaviours that are positive and different from behaviours that previously led to undesirable outcomes. Typical cheerleading questions are: How did you do that? How did you manage to make that decision? Well done. That must have been really difficult to do; how did you do it? Additionally, there are some statements that have a similar effect, such as: That sounds good! That's amazing! Cheerleading questions are useful as they help a person to recognise and be encouraged by the knowledge that they have the ability within themselves to behave differently so that positive outcomes occur. BEING OPTIMISTIC ABOUT THE FUTURE Sometimes, in order to help a person to be optimistic about the future, it can be useful for a counsellor to describe the person’s current situation as a stage, or to speak about the problem concerned as a stage; something that they might grow out of, or will get over. For example, a person might say, 4My mother died six months ago and 1 still feel depressed.1 In response, the counsellor might say, 'Losing your mother was a major loss. Before you can move on, you will need to take time to grieve. That’s normal for all people when someone close to them passes away, but in time, for most people, their grief diminishes and they start to feel better.’ This statement is designed to help the person recognise that they are in a stage where it is appropriate to grieve, and that the stage is likely to pass. When helping a person to establish goals for the future it is important to be both realistic and optimistic, it can be useful to suggest that, at some time in the future, the problem will end or things will be better, whenever it seems likely that this will happen. When a person talks about their problem, it can be helpful if the counsellor restates what the person has said in terms of goals to be achieved rather than problems to be removed. For example, the person might say, Tm worried because my husband and 1 fight all the time,’ and the counsellor might respond by saying, ‘You would like it if your husband and you could get along better together. Have you thought about how this might be achieved?' By responding in this way the focus has been removed from the negativity of fighting and instead directed towards a positive goal.

Learning summary Looking for exceptions draws attention to past successes, enabling the person to learn from them. Focusing on successes achieved while experiencing negative experiences puts a person in touch with their inner strength. Drawing attention to positive change is likely to promote more change. Being optimistic about the future may enable a person seeking help to look for solutions. References and further reading