致谢

Acknowledgments Firstly, my deep gratitude and appreciation goes out to my coauthors. Benji, you are a true spiritual brother. Laura, you will always be my one true and most beloved partner in our shared life’s work. Freelance copyeditor Jasmine Star and Tesilya Hanauer, our editor at New Harbinger, were remarkable allies and col- laborators in this work, and they have my ongoing gratitude. I would like to acknowledge the intellectual and spiritual mentors whom I have been blessed to know, including Paul Gilbert, Robert Fripp, Robert Leahy, Kelly Wilson, Steven C. Hayes, Robyn Walser, Richard Amodio, Lillian Firestone, Paul Genki Kahn, Michael Hughes, Jim Campilongo, and Stephen K. Hayes. My gratitude goes out to all of my trusted colleagues, especially Russell Kolts, Chris Irons, Martin Brock, Laura Oliff, Poonam Melwani, Louise McHugh, M. Joann Wright, Aisling Curtain, Nanni Presti, Josh Pritchard, Louise Hayes, Christine Braehler, Mia Sage, Victoria Taylor, Nikki Rubin, Jennifer Taitz, Yotam Heineberg, Kristin Neff, Meredith Rayner, Margherita Gurrieri, Sonja Batten, Mark Sisti, Tara Deliberto, Chris Germer, Brian Pilecki, Jason Luoma, Ross White, Stanislaw Malicki, Mike Femenella, Trent Codd III, James Bennett Levy, and Christian Chan. Laura’s family, the Silbersteins, was also a great source of strength during our work. I would like to thank my wonderful mother and family, especially my brother, John, and his miraculously supportive wife and children. I would like to acknowledge the help and support of our friends as we prepared this book, par- ticularly Jean Gilbert, Philip Inwood, Nicholas Colavito, and Torrey Kleinman. Also, I want to send good wishes to all of the clients who have walked this compassionate path with us over the years. Finally, I would like to express my gratitude to our spiritual ancestors, who are innumerable and represent the evolution that we hold so dear. For our purposes today, I would like to acknowl- edge, with deep love and respect, Shakyamuni Buddha and George Ivanovich Gurdjieff. —­Dennis Tirch I would like to acknowledge Dennis Tirch for codreaming this book with Laura and me, and for doing most of the hard work of manifesting this beautiful dream. Dennis, you’re a star. I wrote to you, as a joke, that a fair acknowledg- ment for this book might run to fifty pages. Compassion is a lifelong project, and when I look at my path on its road, I can see many significant faces—­those of countless allies, whether we met in sympathy or hostility. To all those I have ever met, chances are you played a part in my becoming interested in and imper- fectly walking the compassionate path. Gratitude to Sharon Salzberg for intro- ducing me to loving-kindness; Steven Hayes for putting compassion at the heart of ACT; Kelly Wilson for that deepest of ongoing conversations; Rachel Collis, Michaele Saban, and Jonathan Kanter for showing it; and Mavis Tsai and Monica Valentim for being it. I acknowledge the deep influence of every one of my clients, supervisees, and ACT training colleagues, with special mention to Kevin Polk, Jerold Hambright, and Mark Webster for dreaming up the ACT matrix. Gratitude to the clients who allowed extracts of our sessions to be used in this book, for their courage and generosity. Gratitude to Tesilya Hanauer, freelancer Jasmine Star, and all at New Harbinger. Finally, gratitude to my wife, Marie-­France, for her unwavering support through diverse writing projects, and to my son, Thomas, for being such an inexhaustible fount of joy, wonder, and gratitude. —­Benjamin Schoendorff I am delighted to have the opportunity to express my warmest appreciation to coauthors Dennis and Benji. Dennis, your talent, patience, and capacity for caring know no bounds. Thank you for your unwavering partnership and our shared enthusiasm, and for reminding me to take time. Benji, I am truly grateful for the opportunity to work with you and to learn from your profound kindness and warmth. My heartfelt gratitude goes out to those who have taught me the nuance and skill involved in giving and receiving compassion: Paul Gilbert, Thomas Bein, James Cardinale, Robert Woolfolk, Leslie Allen, Shara Sand, Kelly Wilson, Steven Hayes, Jack Kornfield, Sharon Salzberg, Robert Leahy, and Lata McGinn. I want to thank my friends and fellow travelers for their encouragement and contributions to the science of compassion: Russell Kolts, Christine Braehler, Wendy Wood, Chris Irons, Chris Germer, Kristin Neff, Tom Borkovec, M. Joann Wright, Aisling Curtain, Louise McHugh, Josh Pritchard, Louise Hayes, Nanni Presti, Meredith Rayner, Margherita Gurrieri, Sonja Batten, David Gillanders, Mike Femenella, Mark Sisti, Brian Pilecki, Jennifer Egert, Jennifer Lerner, Lauren Whitelaw, and Sara Reichenbach. I would also like to acknowledge my parents and sister. Mom, you have shown me what true grace, warmth, and unconditional love look and feel like. Dad, your wisdom, strength, and courage are a constant source of awe and inspiration. Erica Beth, your sensitivity, brilliance, and wit are my compass home. Finally, I want to thank my family of families, especially the Young, Fritz, Kondo, Tirch, Ewig, Mann, Samuels, Flax, and ACBS families. Your support came in many forms over the years, and I thank you for all your encouragement, time, acceptance, insight, laughter, and love. —­Laura Silberstein