7 培训慈悲心

7 Training the Compassionate Mind Training the compassionate mind involves an interplay between skills develop- ment and cultivating characteristics of compassion, with a focus on what is workable. It has been demonstrated that compassion can be cultivated through specific forms of mental training, and can play a significant role in emotional healing (Harrington, 2001; Gilbert, 2010). We have discussed the many ways in which compassion, through CFT, FAP, ACT, and the development of psycho- logical flexibility, can help transform the way people experience and respond to pain and suffering. In this chapter we will provide a series of experiential and meditative exercises and practices that can be used during psychotherapy ses- sions to help clients develop compassionate mind. They can be practiced by clients and therapists alike, and all can play an integral role in developing a personal compassion-­focused practice. Compassionate Mind Training in a Functional Contextual Framework The exercises in this chapter are primarily derived from compassionate mind training (Gilbert & Irons, 2005), a method of systematically training compassion that served as a precursor for the more elaborate and comprehensive develop- ment of CFT. In this volume, in order to provide an introduction to compassion work for the ACT practitioner, we have sought to present training methods that can work well within a functional contextual framework, without the need for ACT practitioners to reinvent their entire clinical approach. As you have seen in earlier chapters, there is a great depth of theory and practice in CFT, and we hope that what you will learn in this chapter on training the compassionate mind will inspire you to look deeper into the CFT literature, community, and tradition. (And we provide details on avenues to further education in CFT in the Resources section at the end of the book.) Beyond the attention and imagery-­ based exercises below, further CFT education, supervision, and training includes a range of techniques for working with emotions, thinking, and overt behaviors that can in turn be applied to a range of problems from a contextualist point of view. Nevertheless, this entrée into the science of compassion is designed to fit within ACT-­consistent interventions almost like a module, and each of the exer- cises mesh well with the target processes in the psychological flexibility model. The practices in this chapter are aimed at cultivating new, compassionate ways to respond to suffering and associated urges for avoidance or resistance as they arise, creating alternatives to both internal and external aggression, igno- rance, cruelty, avoidance, and suffering. When engaging in these practices, whether personally or with clients, it is important to keep in mind that it is easy to evoke compassion for people we like or the parts of ourselves we like. Therefore, some of the most important work in training the compassionate mind is developing or experiencing compassion for others and parts of ourselves that we intensely dislike. Compassion is not just reserved for ourselves or those we have positive emotions toward; it is extended to all living beings. All of the exercises in this chapter involve guided meditation or imagery. As is the case with many guided techniques, when you are leading the experiential exercise, you will be engaging in the contemplative act together with the client. For this reason, having your own ongoing practice of mindfulness and compas- sion, preferably with a teacher, therapist, or group, is crucial for effectively devel- oping the skill to help others to train their own compassionate mind. Furthermore, these practices are far more than just simple sets of instructions; they are cues for activating specific states of attention. Accordingly, the instructions should be delivered slowly, with periods of silence interspersed throughout, to facilitate deeper engagement. Ideally, you will have practiced each exercise sufficiently to have internalized it and, to some degree, memorized it. Audio recordings of these practices are available for download at http://www.newharbinger .com/30550, and working with these recordings may serve as a good starting point in your own compassionate mind training. (See the very back of the book for instructions on how to access the downloadable recordings.) In addition, many therapists have found that apps on mobile devices and notebook computers allow them to easily record personalized sessions with indi- vidual clients. In this way, both the stimulus properties and stimulus functions of a real-­time interaction between the therapist and client, within the context of a compassionate therapeutic relationship, become accessible outside of session. We have taken that approach with many of our clients, and they have often told us that they value having such documentation of our shared work and compassionate journey. Our clients often use guided audio meditations and imagery practices as part of their daily practice of cultivating compassion, begin- ning with basic exercises and progressing to more complex imagery, engaging with the practices gradually on a path designed collaboratively in session. The Importance of Practice Training the compassionate mind involves deliberately targeting the attributes and skills of compassion elaborated in chapter 2. Through gradual practice, these processes and skills can become enduring characteristics, broadening people’s everyday actions and enhancing valued living. In clinical settings, we sometimes metaphorically liken this training in both processes and skills to learning to play a musical instrument. To become a master guitarist, for example, a person must learn many skills, such as calisthenic exercises for the hands, how to play scales, and how to memorize and play various songs. These skills involve what is played. At a deeper level, the master musician learns about music theory, the relationships of intervals and arpeggios, how to improvise within a song’s chord structure, how to compose to fit the music involved, and how to train the ear, body, and emotions to play the music in tune, in time, and with heart. These processes involve how the music is played. Similarly, training the compassionate mind involves developing certain skills, but also developing broad and adaptive behavioral processes. In another parallel, when an individual practices a musical instrument for thousands of hours and masters her craft, there is evidence of new neural connections being formed—­ neuroplasticity and neurogenesis—­resulting in the brain and body of the person coming to resemble and function similarly to the brain and body of a trained musician (Münte, Altenmüller, & Jäncke, 2002). And indeed, when we train the compassionate mind, changes in neural activity and structure do occur (Lutz et al., 2008). Hence, cultivating the attributes and skills of compassion can trans- form the mind and brain in demonstrable and lasting ways. So let us begin! Compassionate Attention When training compassionate attention in CFT, much of the work begins with mindfulness. This focus allows clients to deliberately develop their ability to pay attention in the present moment with acceptance and self-­compassion. From this inherently defused perspective, they can intentionally bring a compassion- ate tone to the very fabric of their experiences: awareness itself. The early phases of compassionate mind training are often devoted to exercises that bring com- passion to focusing, guiding, and modulating attention in a manner that is skill- ful, supportive, and helpful (Gilbert, 2009a). These practices blend appreciation, mindfulness, concentration, attention, and relaxation training and provide a foundation for the next steps in compassionate mind training (Gilbert, 2009a). It is often helpful to begin attention training with mindfulness practice and other exercises for calming the mind and the body. In CFT we generally start with the Soothing Rhythm Breathing exercise in chapter 3. (As a reminder, an audio recording of that practice is available for download at http://www.newhar binger.com/30550.) Soothing Rhythm Breathing is the foundational mindful- ness practice in CFT, and many of the other exercises used in compassionate mind training begin with this form of mindful breathing. As you read the rest of this chapter, you will notice that we often engage in a few minutes of Soothing Rhythm Breathing before proceeding to visualizations or practices that involve intentionally directing compassion toward oneself or others. Accordingly, com- passionate mind training begins with clients learning Soothing Rhythm Breathing during the first or second session of therapy and then using it as part of a daily sitting practice. It is a key approach in engaging compassionate atten- tion and centeredness and activating the parasympathetic “tend and befriend” system in response to arising threat reactions. Additionally, the range of mind- fulness practices found throughout ACT, third-wave behavior therapies, and the host of Buddhist traditions can help prime the pump of attention necessary for the cultivation of compassion. Before initiating formal mindfulness training, we often provide training in attention by helping clients explore what it is like to simply direct their atten- tion to one part of the body, such as the right foot, and then to another, such as the right hand. Through guided discovery and Socratic questioning, clients are invited to notice how they can move their attention around the body and direct it to different sensory experiences. In this way, they might observe how they can use their attention like a spotlight, illuminating certain experiences and casting others into darkness. Then we gently broaden the scope of this attention work, perhaps by asking clients to close their eyes and bring to mind different memo- ries, beginning with a memory of a quarrel or difficult time, then moving to a memory of a happy time with loved ones, and completing the series of observa- tions by revisiting a memory of relaxing deeply, such as while resting on a beach on a vacation. In this way, clients experience how they can direct their attention in poten- tially more interesting and meaningful ways than simply moving it around within the physical space of the body. Our attention can’t be physically moved around the world of space and time, but psychologically, we can move our atten- tion freely though space, time, and emotional landscapes. We can bring atten- tion to an experience from the past and evoke the emotions of the self that was there and then. If this is a happy memory, we can trigger bodily sensations, emotions, and thoughts associated with that happiness. Similarly, we can turn toward a difficult or painful memory and elicit the emotions that this past self was grappling with there and then. Working with thoughts, physical sensations, and emotions in this way, from a place of mindful compassion, creates opportu- nities to enter into a new and more accepting relationship with painful memo- ries and struggles. When you train clients in compassionate attention as a part of a compassion-­focused ACT intervention, it is best to begin with psychoeduca- tion about the nature of mindfulness, compassion, and attention using exam- ples and guided discovery. Training in Soothing Rhythm Breathing is the ideal next step and lays the groundwork for directing mindful and compas- sionate attention toward deeper emotional experiences, which serves the dual purposes of illustrating how the emotional self functions and enhancing will- ingness, openness, contact with the present moment, and flexible perspective taking. The following practice helps clients take that next step: turning mindful attention toward emotions. Intervention: Compassionate Mindfulness of Emotions Based in Buddhist training in the four foundations of mindfulness, this inter- vention blends compassionate mind training into a guided meditation that involves directing compassionate attention toward one’s emotions in the present moment. It provides a useful introduction to working with attention and emo- tions, and it can also be practiced daily on a long-­term basis. It aims to help people see how they can use mindfulness to make space for their experience of distress, and how they might use compassionate attention to help them tolerate and contend with difficult emotions. Intentionally practicing this exercise can help anyone manage instinctive mental and physical urges to resist or avoid stress and discomfort. Importantly, like all compassionate mind training, this exercise involves actively directing attention to the experience of warm affilia- tive emotions. In a sense, all of our work with compassion involves moving attention toward a valued aim of alleviating and preventing suffering and pro- moting well-­being. (For a downloadable audio recording of this practice, please visit http://www.newharbinger.com/30550.) After getting comfortable on your cushion or chair, allow your breath to settle into the naturally slow and even pace that emerges through Soothing Rhythm Breathing. When you’re ready, take three mindful breaths in this way and feel the release of tension with each exhalation. …On your next natural inhalation, bring part of your attention to the sensations that are present in your body. Whatever you notice, allow yourself to just rest in the breath, feeling the movement of your belly and bringing open, nonjudgmental attention to the presence of your breath in your heart center. With each inhalation, bring compassionate attention into your body. And with each exhalation, let go of tension, bringing awareness to any experience of emotions in your body. In this moment, what physical sensations feel related to your emotional experience? Perhaps you’re having an experience of distress, as is so often the case in our lives. Whatever your emotional experience may be, in this moment allow yourself to feel where this emotional experience presents itself to you as physical sensations. For example, you may feel distress as tension in your chest or throat. Just notice what you feel and where you feel it, and then bring mindful and compassionate attention to that place with each inhalation. Once you’ve located where you feel this emotion in your body, release any unnecessary tension that may be present in that area. Without demanding anything of yourself, invite your muscles to relax around this experience. Imagine yourself willingly making space for the emotion and directing compassionate attention to your physical experience of the emotion in your body. Without physically forcing anything at all, label the emotion using a feeling word. For example, if you’re feeling sad, you might softly, in your mind’s inner voice, say the word “sadness.” As you breathe compassion for yourself into your body and release any needless tension, make space for this experience. Remind yourself that whatever arrives in your emotional life, it’s okay to experience it. In this present moment, your intention to rest in compassionate attention is an invitation for your body and mind to soften into your experience. You aren’t aiming to suppress or avoid any experience that is here. You’re simply bringing mindful attention to your emotional and physical experience in this very moment. Stay with this process of softening for a few minutes. Now deliberately and intentionally bring soothing attention to your experience. If you’d like, bring one of your hands to your chest, just over your heart center. Feel the warmth of your hand against your heart region and intentionally bring kindness and soothing to your experience. Bring part of your attention to the soles of your feet…part to your sit bones against your chair…and part to the top of your head. Feel the dignity and centeredness in your posture as you radiate compassionate attention from the center of your physical and emotional being. In this moment, you are awake, alert, and alive. Recognize any distress or struggle you’re facing and direct soothing warmth and self-­acceptance toward your experience. Bring mindfulness and compassion into contact with your emotions in this moment. Breathing in, notice that you are breathing in, and breathing out, notice that you are breathing out. Remain with this process of soothing for a few minutes. As much as you can, let go of any urge to get rid of your emotional experience. With each exhalation, let go of any effort to avoid or suppress emotions. Stay with the breath for as long as you need or like, resting in the soothing rhythm of your breath and directing mindful, compassionate attention to your emotions. Now begin to form an intention to let go of this practice, taking a moment to acknowledge and appreciate your courage and self-­kindness in moving toward greater mindfulness and compassion in your everyday experience. Thank yourself for engaging in this practice, then gradually let go of the exercise entirely, exhaling and bringing your attention back to the flow of everyday life. The Power of Imagery Compassionate mind training begins with cultivating mindfulness and compas- sion in the way attention is deployed, and then proceeds to include the use of imagery. In this way, we can directly train the mind to activate its capacity for compassion, calm, and courageous acceptance steeped in warmth and inner strength. This takes time and involves working directly with one’s experience of distress. In fact, the human capacity for imagery is one of the most powerful tools in cultivating compassionate mind, as it can be used to help activate different emotions and physical sensations. What we focus our attention on can affect how we feel. When our minds begin to imagine things, our entire being can respond as though this mental event were actually happening. If we are hungry and imagine a meal, we can stimulate our salivary glands. Similarly, if we imagine scenes of a sexual nature, we may feel aroused. This power of imagina- tion often gets us into trouble through fusion and experiential avoidance. For example, we might imagine a potential disaster, become fearful, and then avoid the situation we worry about. Yet this basic human ability for the imagination to stimulate systems in our brains and bodies can also be harnessed to stimulate the compassionate mind and, in turn, our soothing systems. And, crucially, if we engage with compassionate imagery, we can activate brain systems that will help us tolerate and cope with the experience of suffering. Helping Clients Overcome Perceived Deficits in Imagery Skills Imagery work with clients often begins with an inquiry into any deficits in imagery skills clients may believe they have. Possible obstacles to engaging in imagery include clients’ beliefs that they are not good at imagery or cannot come up with the right images. This is where mindfulness and attention train- ing are useful. We recommend helping clients develop mindfulness skills before doing imagery exercises and then reminding clients to remain nonjudgmental and open to the experience of imagery. You can also explain that imagery is imperfect and may change and shift over the course of a given exercise. This encourages clients to remain open to any natural changes in imagery within a particular practice and between different practices. When it comes to perceived deficits in imagery skills, some individuals are, of course, better or worse at imagery. However, there are a few interventions and questions you can use to help such clients access their imagination, as suggested in the following clinical example. Clinical Example: Helping a Client Access Imagination Skills The following dialogue provides an example of how the therapist helped Josh overcome his initial belief that he wasn’t capable of doing imagery exercises. Client: I can’t do imagery. My brain just won’t do it. I suck. Therapist: So, you feel you can’t do imagery. That’s not an uncommon belief. However, imagery is a skill, and as with many skills, we can get better at it with practice. Ever go to the gym? Client: ure. I don’t go as much as I’d like, but I’m putting my time in these S days. Therapist: Great! Practicing imagery is like going to the gym: keep at it and you’ll get stronger and better at it. Client: Okay. Got it. Therapist: Also, we may not know how good we are at a skill until we begin to practice. So, in a moment I’m going to ask you a series of questions, and I’d like you to just notice what shows up for you. Okay, here we go: What does a pencil look like? (Pauses.) Where is your refrigerator in your home? (Pauses.) Where do you keep your keys? (Pauses.) What did you have for breakfast this morning? (Pauses.) So, what did you notice? How did your mind respond to these questions? Client: I saw where I put my keys, what my breakfast looked like, and all that other stuff. Therapist: Ah, so you pictured these items? Client: Yes. Therapist: This is imagery, and you’re doing it already. Client: Cool. That was easy. Why didn’t you say it was so easy? Therapist: I think I did, didn’t I? Client: Yes, sir, you did. (Laughs.) This might seem like a very simple way to address clients’ perceived difficul- ties with imagery, but it is actually a very direct, efficient way to tackle this problem with clients in session, through a straightforward practice. Then you can proceed with the following series of compassionate imagery exercises, which can be used over a period of several sessions as in-­session illustrations of key concepts, and as central elements in helping clients develop a personal compassion-­focused practice. Safe Place Visualization Safe place visualizations, which are widely used in various modes of therapy, have two primary functions. First, they help direct clients’ attention toward feeling a sense of safeness. Sometimes when people are feeling stressed-­out, taking time to just imagine a safe place can give them somewhere to rest. Second, creating a safe place helps them imagine being somewhere that gives them a sense of joy. Intervention: Creating a Safe Place This specific safe place visualization (adapted with permission from Tirch, 2012, and inspired by Gilbert, 2009a) begins with Soothing Rhythm Breathing, as is typical in CFT meditations and visualizations. Because each client’s safe place is an individual creation and springs from the individual’s imagination, it is a place that welcomes and appreciates the client. Emphasize to clients that it is important to make the place their own and find their own ways of thinking about it. Explain that the place they create is meant to embody compassionate warmth and safety. In this exercise, they are allowing themselves to experience feelings of being safe already, here and now, abiding in a place where they are at peace, relaxed, and confident about their well-­being. When they feel distressed, a sense of contentment and security may seem very far away. If need be, explain that our minds respond to our imaginations as though what they produce is or may be real, giving us an inborn capacity to cultivate feelings of safety and acti- vate our self-­soothing system. (For a downloadable audio recording of this prac- tice, please visit http://www.newharbinger.com/30550.) Begin this exercise as you might begin Soothing Rhythm Breathing, lying comfortably on a mat or sitting in a comfortable, secure posture on a chair or meditation cushion. Take some time to allow a few mindful breaths to move in and out of your body. Now turn your attention to your imagination and begin to think about a happy, secure place that surrounds you. Perhaps it’s a place you’ve visited in the past, or maybe it’s a place you’ve only thought about visiting. It’s important that this place be calm, such as in a shady picnic spot, on a seaside balcony, or in a cozy chair by the fireside in winter. Whatever it may be, this place is just for you, and you are free to imagine anywhere that feels right to you. If you imagine a serene sandy beach, feel the smooth, soft sand beneath your feet and the warmth of the sunlight. Do you hear the waves lapping against the shoreline? Do you hear seagulls calling? If you imagine somewhere secure, cozy, and warm indoors, such as a comfortable chair beside the fire, can you feel the heat radiating out to warm you? What does the room smell like? Can you hear the fire crackling? You may remember somewhere you’ve walked among ancient trees and greenery, or somewhere else that holds fond memories for you—­a place where you felt supported and loved and were able to experience a sense of playfulness. In order to vividly evoke images from that place, recall what it was like, or what it might be like if you were actually there right now. Notice the quality of the light, the texture of the sand, the fabric of the chair, and the bark of the tree. Notice the sounds, smells, and temperature. Remain with this visualization for a few minutes, and from time to time, note the natural rhythm of your breathing, feeling your diaphragm expanding and your belly rising and falling with the even pace of your breath. Whenever your mind wanders, draw your attention back to the image of your safe space on your next natural inhalation. As you’re ready, allow the image to fade. With your next natural inhalation, let go of the exercise entirely and return your awareness to your actual surroundings. Using Images from Personal Experiences to Cultivate Compassion The following two exercises (adapted with permission from Tirch, 2012, and inspired by Gilbert, 2009a) allow clients to begin to access the compassionate mind by deliberately focusing on memories and personal images that evoke an experience of warmth and affiliation. Therapists may choose to begin with either an experience of compassion flowing in (of receiving it from someone else) or the experience of compassion flowing out (of extending it to someone else), based upon discussions with the client and an appreciation of the client’s learning history. Compassionate mind training is meant to be challenging yet not overwhelming, so begin with whichever approach would seem to be less demanding for the individual client and build from there. In essence, this is a form of gradual exposure to the emotions involved in secure attachment; and, as such, it is particularly helpful for people whose experiences, potential traumas, and attachment memories have resulted in difficulties with distress tolerance and aversion to self-­soothing. Intervention: Experiencing Compassion Flowing In Before beginning this practice, explain to clients that this exercise will build upon their practice of mindful, compassionate attention and help them activate affiliative emotions by using imagery of an experience of receiving compassion. When suggesting or assigning this exercise for home practice, recommend that clients find a quiet space where they won’t be disturbed to do the exercise, and that they set aside ten to twenty minutes for it. (For a downloadable audio recording of this practice, please visit http://www.newharbinger.com/30550.) Sit with your back upright and supported, either in a comfortable chair or on a meditation cushion. Begin by bringing attention to your breathing, observing its flow and rhythm and allowing it to find its own pace. Observe and remain with this flow for a few minutes, engaging in Soothing Rhythm Breathing. Now bring part of your attention into your body and feel the strength and compassion that is available to you in your posture. Feel your feet on the floor, your sit bones connected to your cushion or chair, and your spine upright and supported. Your posture is grounded and dignified and reflects your sense of calm and self-­compassion. Allow your face to form a gentle smile. Now, with part of your attention staying with the flow of your breath, begin to remember a pleasant day in your past when someone was compassionate and supportive toward you. This person wasn’t judgmental and didn’t condemn you; rather, this person was empathic and cared about you and your happiness. As much as you can, remember the sensory details of this experience: Can you remember what you were wearing? Where were you? Was it hot or cold? Was it raining or was the wind blowing through the trees? Was the radio on in the background? Now, bringing part of your attention back to the flow of your breath, inhale and exhale and, for a few moments, stay with this imagery of an experience of receiving compassion. By remembering receiving such help and kindness, you can focus your attention on and increase your desire to be kind and helpful, including toward yourself. Whenever your mind is inevitably distracted and wanders away from this memory, gather your attention with your next natural inhalation and make space for whatever is arising; then, with your next natural exhalation, simply return your attention to your breath and to the image of this compassionate person. As you breathe in again, with your next natural inhalation, bring your attention to the facial expression of this person from your past. Allow yourself to remember, as much as you can, this person’s body language and movements. What did this person say to you? How did the person say it? Pay particular attention to tone of voice. Stay with this experience for a little while, breathing in and out. Next, bring your attention to the quality of the emotion this person seemed to display toward you. How did the person feel toward you? And how does this make you feel? Do you have any physical sensations as a result of your emotion? Take a few minutes to remain in the presence of that emotion. You may feel safe and protected or feel as if your body is grounded and stronger. However this emotion shows up, see if you can welcome it, identify it as mindful compassion, and invite yourself to make space for it. This is a time to bring attention to the experience of compassion flowing into you. Now bring your attention back to the flow of your breath, inhaling and exhaling smoothly, and take a few moments to stay with the way this experience feels. As much as you can, connect with the emotions of appreciation, gratitude, and happiness that arrived with this person’s care. For as long as it feels right to you, perhaps a few minutes more, remain in the presence of this memory and this feeling. When it feels right, let this experience go with your next natural exhalation, allowing the memory and images to fade away. After a few more slow and even breaths, exhale and completely let go of this exercise. Before you open your eyes, take a moment to give yourself credit for engaging with your practice of self-­compassion, recognizing that you have made a conscious decision to take care of yourself and move toward alleviation of your suffering. Intervention: Experiencing Compassion Flowing Out Again, before beginning this practice, explain to clients that this exercise builds upon their practice of mindful, compassionate attention and helps them acti- vate self-­compassion by using images of extending compassion to others. When suggesting or assigning this exercise for home practice, recommend that clients find a quiet space to practice where they won’t be disturbed, and that they set aside ten to twenty minutes for the practice. (For a downloadable audio record- ing of this practice, please visit http://www.newharbinger.com/30550.) Adopt a dignified, meditative posture, with the soles of your feet connected to the floor, your sit bones on your chair or cushion, and your back upright and supported. Start by following the breath in and out of your body, and become aware of your physical presence, just as it is, in this very moment. Allow your breath to find its own rhythm and pace. Whenever your attention wanders, gently and consistently draw your attention back to this moment by focusing on the breath once again. After a few minutes, once you’ve gathered and collected your awareness in a mindful and compassionate way, bring your attention to a time when you felt compassionate toward another person—­someone who was in need of a helping hand. Alternatively, you can bring your attention toward compassion you felt for an animal, perhaps a pet. Fully remember that time of relative peace and happiness. Although we often direct compassion toward loved ones during times of distress, this exercise involves using imagery to evoke a feeling that’s separate from difficult emotions. As you imagine feeling kindness and compassion toward this other person or being, see if you can imagine yourself expanding as the warmth and care of your intention grows. Imagine that you’re becoming wiser, emotionally stronger, and warmer with each inhalation and exhalation. As you become more attuned and resilient with every breath, recognize this means that, with each breath you have more to give, and with each moment you are becoming more helpful, open, and wise. How does this feel? What physical sensations are you experiencing? Now bring your attention back to the flow of your breath and, for a moment longer, focus on these feelings and the images associated with your experience of extending compassion to another. All the while, observe your desire for this person or being to be happy, filled with compassion, peaceful, at ease, and well. What is your tone of voice like? What is the expression on your face? How is your body moving and reacting to your feelings and to the feelings of the other person? Take some time to enjoy the sense of pleasure you may feel as a result of being helpful and caring. Smile gently, and as you breathe in and out, allow yourself to notice the sensation of compassion flowing out of you so that it reaches this person or being whom you care so deeply about. Imagine your compassion touching the other’s heart. Imagine that the burden of the other’s suffering is lifted, little by little, with every breath. With your next natural exhalation, once again sense the compassion flowing out of you and joy and peace flowing into the person or being to whom you’re extending kindness. With your next natural exhalation, let go of this representation of the other person or being and draw your attention to the experience of compassion in yourself. Recognize where in your body your open and heartfelt desire to share kindness and helpfulness presents itself. Allow yourself to rest in this feeling of loving-­kindness for others, feeling the presence of compassion for others as it flows through you. Stay with this sensation for a few moments. If your attention wanders at any point, simply notice where it has gone and then refocus by bringing part of your attention to your next natural inhalation and the exercise at hand. Remain in the presence of this warmth and kindness for several minutes. As you’re ready to end this visualization, return your awareness to your feet on the floor…then to your position in the chair…then to your back, upright and supported…and ultimately to the top of your head. When you feel you’re ready, exhale and completely let go of this exercise. Before you open your eyes, take a moment to give yourself some credit for having engaged in this practice, recognizing that you have made a conscious decision to take care of yourself and move toward alleviation of your suffering. Developing a Compassionate Self-­Identity Through Visualization The exercise Visualizing the Compassionate Self is a foundational CFT practice that harnesses the power of imagery to cultivate compassionate responding. It involves first using imagination to develop a personalized image of the compas- sionate self, and then using this image in a visualization practice. As is the case with most of the contextual compassion work in this book, and particularly the visualizations in this chapter, this one can be used as a daily meditation or coping tool for clients, or as part of your own self-­reflection and practice. Intervention: Visualizing the Compassionate Self As usual, please adjust the following script to fit your own therapeutic style and vernacular, and also adapt it as necessary to meet individual clients’ needs. However, the guided imagery below (adapted from Tirch, 2012, and inspired by Gilbert, 2009a, and Gilbert & Choden, 2013) proceeds in a way that’s essential to this practice, so do follow the spirit and intent as closely as possible. (For a downloadable audio recording of this practice, please visit http://www.newhar- binger.com/30550.) As you’ll see, the first portion of the script isn’t a visualization per se. Rather, clients are initially guided in identifying the qualities they would wish to have in a compassionate self, providing a basis for the visualization. This exercise will help you imagine yourself in a very different way than you might be accustomed to. It’s like being an actor who’s rehearsing a role in a play or a film. It involves creating a personification of your compassionate self, whom you will meet and who will be happy to see you. Take a moment to think about the qualities of your compassionate self and write down the qualities you would ideally like to have if you were calm, confident, and compassionate. Would you be wise? Would you be strong and able to tolerate discomfort? Would you have warm feelings toward others and toward yourself? Would you feel empathy for other people’s suffering and more insight into their behavior? Would you be understanding of others’ faults and foibles and therefore be nonjudgmental, accepting, kind, or forgiving? Would you have courage? Ask yourself how you would picture your most compassionate self. Perhaps you might imagine yourself older and wiser, or maybe younger and more innocent. This is your personal exploration, so please feel free to design an image of your compassionate self and embellish it as you wish. Now we’ll do a visualization utilizing the compassionate self you’ve identified and described. Allow your eyes to close, then bring part of your attention to the soles of your feet as they connect with the floor and to your sit bones on the chair or cushion. Allow your back to be upright and supported. Next, partly direct your attention to the flow of your breath in and out of your body, then allow it to find a slow, soothing rhythm and pace. Feel yourself breathing in and breathing out. Continue breathing in this way until you’ve gathered your attention and feel focused on the present moment. Now recall the qualities of your compassionate self that you wrote down and imagine that you already have those qualities. Breathe in as you experience yourself having that wisdom, and breathe out knowing that you’re part of the flow of life on earth, with a brain and life history that weren’t of your design or your choosing. Breathe in and imagine yourself as strong and able to tolerate distress while confronting your fears, then breathe out. Each time you breathe in, feel yourself having the qualities you wrote down. Experience yourself as committed, with a calm and completely dedicated intention to alleviate the suffering you encounter. As you follow the breath in and out of your body, feel yourself heavy in your chair and rooted to the earth. Your wisdom, strength, and commitment are all present. Imagine yourself as a completely nonjudgmental person who doesn’t condemn yourself or others for their faults. Allow yourself to bring to mind the sensory details you’d notice as your compassionate self. What are you wearing? Is your body relaxed and receptive? Does your body language signal openness and kindness? Are you smiling? If not, smile now, and at the same time imagine the warmth you feel when you carefully hold an infant. As you breathe in, bring attention into your body, imagine yourself expanding, and welcome your ability to be wise, warm, and resilient. For the next few moments, as you’re breathing in and out, continue to imagine being the compassionate self you described. How would your compassion manifest? What would your tone of voice be if you were this compassionate self? How would you behave? What sort of expression would you have on your face? Allow yourself to take pleasure in your capacity to share kindness with and care for those around you and yourself. If your mind wanders, as it so often does for all of us, use your next natural inhalation to gently bring the attention back to this image of your compassionate self. For the next several minutes, continue to give mindful attention to this compassionate self, returning and refocusing as needed. When you feel ready, and with your next natural exhalation, allow any attachment to this exercise to simply melt away. Breathe in again, and with your next natural exhalation, allow yourself to become aware of your surroundings once again. Take a moment to recognize and acknowledge the effort you have invested in this exercise. Then fully return your attention to your surroundings. Compassionate Contact with the Many Parts of the Self The next two exercises involve contacting different parts of the self as a way of gaining more understanding of the various parts of emotional experiences and how they impact behavior. Much like the two-­chair technique described in chapter 6, this approach helps develop flexible perspective taking, defusion from self-­narratives, and willingness to engage with and tolerate distress. Intervention: Contacting the Many Different Selves Before conducting the following visualization with clients, take a moment to explain that there are many different parts of each of us: our compassionate self, our angry self, our anxious self, our joyful self, and so on. In the script below (adapted from Tirch, 2012, and inspired by Gilbert & Choden, 2013), we focus on contacting the angry self and the anxious self and examining how they interact. You may wish to focus on different aspects of the self depending on the difficulties individual clients are facing. Whichever aspects of self are targeted, after invoking them and perhaps bringing them into contact, the compassion- ate self from the previous visualization is summoned to help cultivate compas- sion for these other parts of the self. (For a downloadable audio recording of this practice, please visit http://www.newharbinger.com/30550.) After taking a comfortable and supported posture, close your eyes. Begin by grounding yourself in your body and breath. After settling your awareness and focusing your attention on your breath, slow your breathing and even out your inhalations and exhalations, briefly practicing Soothing Rhythm Breathing. When you’re ready, with your next natural inhalation, imagine that you’re having an argument with someone you know to be harsh and critical. What does the angry side of your personality think about this situation? What sensations arise in your body when you feel criticized or attacked? What behavioral urges does this angry part of yourself feel? And if this angry part of your personality were to seize control of things, what would it do? Allow yourself to step back and observe this frustrated or angry part of you and see what it looks like. Now bring your attention back to the flow of your breath. With your next natural exhalation, let go of this image of the angry self. Then, with your next natural inhalation, focus on your anxious self and how it might deal with the same argument. What does the anxious part of you think? What physical sensations arise? What would this anxious part of your personality do if it were to seize control of your behavior? See if you can picture your anxious self in front of you or have a felt sense of being in the presence of your anxious self. Once again bring your attention back to the flow of your breath. With your next natural exhalation, let go of this image of the anxious self. Then, with your next natural inhalation, focus on the interaction between your angry self and your anxious self. Do they like one another? Does your angry self approve of your anxious self and how it behaves? Does it feel threatened or stifled by the anxious self? And what does your anxious self think about your angry self? Is it frightened of it? Does the anxious part feel protected by your angry self? Now bring your attention back to the flow of your breath. Again, with your next natural exhalation, let go of imagining these two parts of your personality. These, and all of the other different parts of yourself, are really just the way you deal with events as they unfold. Sometimes these different parts are in conflict with one another, making us feel in conflict with ourselves. However, activating and connecting with the compassionate self can change this dynamic quite dramatically. So now, rather than focusing on the anxious or angry aspects of yourself, turn your focus to the wise, calm, and authoritative compassionate part you’ve worked with in the exercise Visualizing the Compassionate Self. Resting in the flow of your breath, spend a few moments focusing on your compassionate self. See yourself from the outside. See a gentle smile on your face, and see other people relating to you as someone who is calm, kind, and wise. Once you have a sense of this aspect of yourself, imagine your compassionate self dealing with that argument you visualized at the beginning of this practice. What are your thoughts about the argument now? How does your calm, wise, and compassionate self feel? What does your compassionate self do when it takes control of your behavior? How does this differ from the ways in which your angry and anxious selves behave? Now bring your attention back to the flow of your breath. Then exhale and completely let go of all of these images and the exercise. Return your attention to the room around you and open your eyes. Intervention: Cultivating Compassion for the Anxious Self and Angry Self This exercise builds on the previous practice by asking clients to have their compassionate self make contact with and cultivate compassion for the anxious self and then the angry self. Again, it may be appropriate to work with different aspects of the self depending on the needs of the individual client, so adapt this exercise accordingly. (For a downloadable audio recording of this practice, please visit http://www.newharbinger.com/30550.) After taking a comfortable and supported posture, close your eyes. Begin by grounding yourself in your body and breath. After settling your awareness and focusing your attention on your breath, slow your breathing and even out your inhalations and exhalations, briefly practicing Soothing Rhythm Breathing. When you’re ready, bring to mind an image of your compassionate self. Focus on the qualities of this self, perhaps contacting compassionate warmth, wisdom, and strength. You may want to adopt a friendly facial expression of a half smile as you imagine the characteristics of your compassionate self. If you’re willing, place one or both hands over your heart and remain in this position throughout the visualizations that follow, bringing mindful attention to the warmth and physical sensations of this gesture while imagining your compassionate self. When you feel connected to your compassionate self, and as you’re ready, bring to mind your anxious self in the context of the argument you imagined in the previous exercise. See if you can look upon this part of yourself from the perspective of your compassionate self, making room for the tension and fear in the anxious self and connecting with the anxious experience while remaining rooted in the qualities of your compassionate self. Allow your compassionate strength to support the aggravated, scared, or uncertain anxious self. Let your wisdom witness the impermanence of anxiety and how it’s impacted by thoughts and memories. Next, bring warmth to the scared and anxious part of yourself, showing it kindness and caring. As you bring to mind your desire to be there for your anxious self in a way that’s helpful and caring, consider what this part of you that is struggling with fear and anxiety needs most. How does your compassionate self want to be with your anxious self? How might you validate and support this anxious part of you? What does your compassionate self want to offer to this part of yourself? After spending some time experiencing these compassionate intentions for your anxious self, allow yourself to let go of these images. Expand your awareness to your breathing and the feeling of your hand over your heart. Now bring your attention back to the flow of your breath. With your next natural exhalation, and while remaining connected to your compassionate self, bring to mind your angry self in the context of the argument you imagined in the previous exercise. Allow yourself to step back and look at this frustrated or angry part of yourself. Observe what your angry self is doing. What facial expression does it have? What tone of voice does it use? Who is the angry self mad at? What is the angry self most irritated about? What does this angry self need most right now? What would help it find peace? How does your compassionate self want to be with your angry self? How might you validate and support this part of you? What does your compassionate self want to offer to your angry self? After spending some time experiencing these intentions for your angry self, allow yourself to let go of these images. Let your awareness settle on your breathing and the feeling of your hands over your heart. Resting in this way, allow yourself to notice other feelings or experiences that may have arisen during this visualization. Bring attention to how you feel physically and emotionally, or to anything particularly important or meaningful that has shown up. Now bring your attention back to the flow of your breath once again. With your next natural exhalation, allow your hands to rest comfortably in your lap. Then exhale and completely let go of this practice. Return your attention to the room around you, open your eyes, and adjust your posture or gently stretch as needed. Revisiting the Importance of Practice Previously, we’ve mentioned the importance of practice. All of the visualiza- tions in this chapter, and many of the other exercises in the book, are suitable for home practice by clients. Some, such as the final two, may require some modification to be more suited to ongoing practice. You can recommend varia- tions as you see fit depending on the client’s needs, perhaps engaging the client in a discussion about this. To help encourage ongoing practice, you may wish to ask clients to fill out the following Compassion Practice Log. Feel free to copy it for use in your practice. For a downloadable version, please visit http://www .newharbinger.com/30550 (see the last page of the book for more information about how to access it). Compassion Practice Log Instructions to client: Fill out the Compassion Practice Log each day to record your compassion practices. Try to remember to use this form each time you practice, indicating the date, the time you began, the time you ended, the type of practice, your observations, and anything you’d like to remember about that particular practice experience. You can then discuss these observations and any questions you may have with your therapist during your next session. 183184 Sunday Saturday Friday Thursday / / / / / / / / / / / / Tuesday Wednesday / /Monday Day and date Time started Time ended Observations (Guided? Formal? (What did you Informal?) notice?) Practice (What would you like to remember?) Learning The Emphasis of Compassionate Mind Training While the range of practices for cultivating compassion within CFT, FAP, and ACT—­and beyond—­is truly vast, the visualization exercises in this chapter are sufficient, in and of themselves, to provide a foundation for training the com- passionate mind. When folded into the course of a compassion-­focused ACT intervention, these approaches to working with imagery and attention also target the capacities and skills involved in psychological flexibility. Importantly, each therapist and each client will bring individual intuitive wisdom to these practices and travel a unique path to create a deeply personal relationship with the compassionate self. When we reference the compassionate self, we are both speaking metaphor- ically and referring to an essential component of embodied human experience. Of course, the reification of any aspect of self, in regarding it as a solid, stable, and enduring structural entity, generally isn’t in keeping with ACT interven- tions. This is hardly a new approach. For several thousand years, most of the world’s wisdom traditions have recognized that what we experience as a self is more of an action of a human being engaging with the wider world. So, when we speak of the experience of any sense of self, including the compassionate self, we are more accurately referring to an experience or quality of “selfing,” if you will. In this way, the compassionate self is metaphorical. However, the experi- ence of the compassionate self is something characteristically human. It corre- lates with a distinct neural signature and a pattern of activation that spreads throughout the body, and it’s an essential part of how our species has preserved itself and flourished. Accessing a conscious awareness of this part of our being is a deliberate, healing, and perhaps even sacred type of work.